I stormed over to my desk, intending on picking up my phone to give the girls a call, but stopped short when I spotted the ticket Dean had given me a little over a week ago, lying on the table where I’d left it.
“Dean! The band. The concert.” While wallowing in my misery, I’d forgotten all about Dean’s performance tonight. I had promised him I’d be there. How could I miss it? I couldn’t. He’d never forgive me if I did. I didn’t think he’d go way out his comfort zone to invite me to his show and have me blow him off once again. It didn’t matter that we hardly ever spoke, mainly because he respected my need to keep at a distance, but I felt compelled to make an appearance.
Suddenly, seeing Dean seemed like the best idea ever.
I ran over to my closet and made haste to find something suitable to wear. Though Earthquake wasn’t a five star restaurant, it was close to being one. I had no idea if they had a dress code, but since Dean had told me they were running one of their weekly themes—this one being rock and roll, I decided to take the black mini skirt, thigh high boots, and open back blouse layered with a leather jacket approach. I included a pair of hoop earrings and enough makeup to cover up the bags under my eyes and called it a day.
Since I would be driving my car, I wasn’t all too concerned over the chilly weather. As a matter of fact, the dropping temperatures might help cool off some of the internal fire burning inside of me. Either that or I’d be too numb inside to feel anything anyway.
I stuffed my ticket and backstage pass into a black purse decorated with silver rhinestones and grabbed my phone and keys from the desk on my way out.
Ten minutes later, I was at Earthquake’s, handing over my keys to the valet parking and strolling over to the entrance where a good looking guy of about twenty five checked my pass. After confirming it was legit, he ordered another guy behind me to escort me to my seat. I asked if I could see Dean before the show instead and the man agreed to take me backstage.
I followed the blond haired guy across the restaurant’s floor and through the rows after rows of people—the majority of which were dressed as wannabe rock stars or sported an emo look to them—waiting to see the show.
Many of the guys present turned an appreciative eye to me but I ignored them and continued to follow my blond haired escort to a white door to the right side of the stage. He rapped on the door three times consecutively, perhaps to alert those behind that he was one of the staff, and waited for someone to respond.
Moments later the white door swung open and a huge bald man with a dragon tattoo inked on the top of his head, and the biggest biceps I’d ever seen in my life, stepped out. After my escort announced I was there to see Dean and showed him my pass, dragon boy motioned for me to go on in.
I hurried through the door and down the long, narrow hallway to a set of doors at the end of the hall. Since I had no idea which of the three doors Dean was behind, I stopped and glanced back only to find dragon boy standing right behind me.
“Second door to your right.” He pointed to one of the two doors to my right and I nodded.
Standing in a semi dark, and uncomfortably narrow hallway alone with a man that outweighed me by two hundred pounds and with arms bigger than my upper body, made me more than a little uneasy so I grabbed the doorknob indicated and turned it as quickly as I could. To my relief I found Dean standing behind it, a look of obvious surprise etched on his face.
“Janessa?” He hurried to me and pulled me inside the room, which was like a dressing room of sorts. There were two purple couches, a long rectangular table that could sit eight people comfortably, and two vanity mirrors at the back. “You’re here.”
There were three other guys in the room. One sitting on the couch closest to the door, bouncing a tiny bean bag on one foot. One fixing his long, white colored hair over by the mirror. And another playing air guitar by the table.
“You invited me.”
The one guy playing an air guitar behind Dean glanced up and smiled as he spotted me.
“You’re Janessa?” Aside from his giant, bright red Mohawk his pale brown eyes called for plenty of attention. “I’ve heard a lot about you.”
“Oh, really?” I turned a questioning look to Dean.
“He talks so much about you I feel like I know you.”
“Janessa, this is Matt.” Dean gestured toward the Mohawk wearing guy behind him.
“Nice to meet you, Matt.” I extended my hand and he shook it.
“It sure is nice to put a face to the name.” He grinned at me.
The others in the room glanced in my direction.
“That’s Lucas by the mirror, and Danny on the couch,” Dean explained.
I acknowledged them and waved when they waved at me. “Nice to meet you all,” I said to them. To Matt I asked, “So, you’ve heard a lot about me, huh?”
Matt nodded enthusiastically. “This guy talks about you all the time.”
Dean slipped his hand in mine and pulled me along as he headed toward the door. “I’ll be right back.”
The guys grunted things out I couldn’t make out but I smiled as Dean pulled me out of the room. When we stepped out into the hallway, Dean shut the door and turned to look at me.
“Sorry about that.” He shifted his weight uncomfortably from one foot to the other.
“I’m the best topic of conversation between you guys, huh?”
He actually looked a little embarrassed. “Now they can see why.”
I cocked my head to the side. “Is that right?”
“Yes, well, look at you.” He took a moment to look me up and down. “You look fantastic.”
“Thanks.” I took in his appearance, noting how good he looked in the white, sleeveless, button down shirt, black leather pants, black boots, and red tie. The sleeveless shirt left his arms uncovered and I could clearly make out the tattoos inked on each one this time.
On his left arm he sported a large tree with leafless branches that spread out throughout his upper arm, but the roots at the bottom spelled out the name Miriam. I had no idea who the woman was, but it was obvious she was important to him or else he wouldn’t have included her name in that elaborate ink. On his right arm he sported a large black and white guitar that covered his arm from shoulder to elbow. They complimented the tribal tattoos on his forearms quite well.
“I thought for sure you wouldn’t show up.” His smile was bright and full of mischief. “I’m kind of shocked to see you here.”
I actually found myself laughing for the first time without it being forced. “Well, I just had to come out here and see you perform. How come you forgot to mention you’re the lead singer?”
“How’d you know?” His eyes glistened with interest.
“I looked you up in the internet. Let me tell you,” I gestured down his body, “this whole rocker look really suits you.”
He rubbed his chin thoughtfully. “That’s the first time anyone has ever said that to me.”
I gave him a playful shove. “Liar.”
He laughed.
“So, how are your vocals?”
He shrugged. “I’m not sure. I don’t want it to seem as if I’m bragging or something.”
“Tell you what, after the show I’ll tell you if you have enough reasons to brag.”
“Deal.” He offered me his hand which I shook.
“It’s a deal then.”
Dragon boy came back and announced it was time to get on stage.
“Emmitt will show you to your seat.” Dean opened the door to the room and called the band members out. “It’s show time guys.”
The other band members poured out of the room and headed toward the green door at the end of the hall, opposite of the one I’d come in through.
“I’ll meet you guys there,” Dean said before turning his attention back to me. “You up for a bite to eat? Or are you busy tonight?”
I hesitated. I’d come to see Dean and his band play, but wasn’t in the mood for company. While it was true I needed the distractio
n, I wasn’t sure what a good idea was anymore. Should I take his offer? Or should I go home and sulk some more?
“Or do you have to meet up with your boyfriend?”
I blinked several times. Boyfriend? Was he referring to Dakota?
“He was never my boyfriend and no. I don’t have to meet with him. I’m free tonight.”
Dean’s face lit up. “Great.”
“Um, could we go someplace…quieter though?”
He nodded. “Sure. Just meet me out back when the show’s over.”
“Okay.”
He grabbed a hold of my hand and squeezed it gently. “Thanks for coming, Janessa.”
The tips of my mouth curved up into a smile. “I’m looking forward to the show.”
Matt opened the green door at the end of the hall and poked his head through. “Dean, we have to get started man.”
“I gotta go,” Dean said. “I’ll see you in a little bit.”
“Go ahead.” I watched him go and as I turned to look for dragon boy—Emmitt, I found him standing right behind me. I let out a nervous laugh at his sudden appearance and followed as he motioned for me to follow him.
He led me outside to a single person table to the left side of the huge stage and pulled my chair so that I could take a seat. I thanked him as I made myself comfortable on the chair, but he said nothing at all as he moved away and disappeared in the sea of people.
I had no time to ponder on how strange the guy was because just then the green curtains opened up and Dean, holding on to the mike with one hand and the stand with the other, opened his mouth to greet the audience. The crowd cheered and applauded as he announced the first song and waited for the drummer’s cue.
By then I was anticipating the performance, but when they began to play the first song, I was completely blown away. Dean had an amazing voice and as he crooned out the lyrics to a song called, Lover Girl, he really owned the stage. There wasn’t a single person inside who didn’t feel the intensity or the emotion behind the song as he serenaded us with his magical talent.
Dean moved from one side of the stage to the other, but every single time his gaze fell on me I could have sworn he sung only for me. There was just something about the way he looked at me as he repeated the chorus for, Lover Girl, that sparked more than just mild curiosity.
As the hour progressed, and he opened up his shirt, revealing a perfectly sculpted chest, the girls in the room went wild, screaming for him to take everything off. I laughed at the amateur girls and watched Dejected perform one of the best concerts I’d seen in a while.
An hour later, they wrapped up with a song called, The Rose in my Heart, and my ears nearly imploded at the sound of the girls screams after Dean finally took off his shirt, revealing a hot and sweaty torso that pretty much invited a girl to sin with thoughts alone.
As soon as the band finished and headed backstage, I got up, refusing to order anything to eat and drink, and exited the restaurant to meet Dean out back. Although I was hungry, I didn’t want to stay at Earthquake and grab a bite to eat there. It was a great restaurant with delicious food, but it was full to bursting and after the show he just pulled, Dean wouldn’t be left alone enough to talk to me and right now, I needed someone to talk to.
I made my way to a bench at the very back of the restaurant, which was barely illuminated by a light near the back door, and sat. Though it was a little cold, I preferred to wait for Dean there than indoors. I folded my arms over my chest and willed Dean to hurry so I didn’t have to withstand the chilly weather any longer than necessary.
When ten minutes passed by and he didn’t show up, I got up and started walking from one side of the bench to the other to keep from freezing my ass off. I was seriously regretting my choice to wear a mini skirt while temperatures were beginning to drop to the lower forties.
A noise to my right caught my attention, and I took a step forward as I spotted two figures engrossed in a heated display of affection near a blue BMW. I shook my head and took a step back to give them some privacy. Some people did not know the meaning of privacy. Then again, when you really like a person—an image of Dakota and I kissing near campus’ building entrance came back to haunt me.
I shivered as I recalled how good it felt to be held and kissed by him.
As hard as I had tried to keep the memories pocketed at the back of my mind where they belonged, that one single flashback was enough to trigger many more. The night at the club, the memories of our night together—of our love making, pushed its way through, and all of a sudden I was overwhelmed with emotions.
The reminiscence of Dakota himself, smiling, talking to me, kissing me, making hot, passionate love to me was almost too much for me to bear. Tears filled my eyes, and a sob welled itself up in my throat as I recalled our last conversation. He had told me was ready to move on, but he really hadn’t been. He had gone back to Margaret and whether out of obligation or not, I couldn’t help but resent him for it.
While it was true he never made me any promises, my heart carried the heaviness of the sorrow my soul felt and the sting of betrayal hurt me every single day. I had been strong, faking a disconnection I did not feel because Janessa Rowe was invincible. She was untouchable. But she was hurting bad. I was hurting bad, and no amount of distraction could keep the sentiments I’d been bottling up for a week from finally showing their ugly faces.
I finally allowed the tears to roll down my cheeks as I stared at the couple a short distance away, completely oblivious to my discontent.
“Janessa?”
The sound of Dean’s voice startled me, and I spun around to find him right behind me.
“What’s wrong?” The look of concern on his face broke me.
“I made a mistake, Dean,” I sobbed. “I made a huge mistake.” Yes, I made the mistake of falling in love with a guy that could break my heart and one way or another did exactly that.
The pain brought on by Kirk’s betrayal paled in comparison to the agony coursing through me now.
He dropped his jacket on the bench and drew me into his arms. “Does this have anything to do with that guy?”
I allowed him to wrap his arms around me, warming me with the heat emanating from his body. “I should have listened, but I thought I was safe. I was wrong.”
I had not cried. Not while in the presence of my friends. Not while alone. But once Dean drew me into his embrace I could not stop myself from releasing all the pent-up disappointment.
“Janessa.” He buried his face in the hollow between my shoulder and my neck. “What did he do to you?”
I shook my head. “Nothing. I did this to myself.”
“Do what?”
I stiffened in his arms. What the hell was I doing? I was actually crying myself a river while Dean—the one guy who had let his interest in me show for over three years—held me? I pushed myself back, horrified over losing my cool in front of him. I was crying over another guy. Jesus, could I be anymore insensitive?
“I’m sorry.” What was I thinking? “I came here to hear you sing, and I act like a complete idiot.” I desperately wiped away my tears. “I’m so stupid.”
Dean reached out and grabbed my hands, stopping me from wiping the rest of my tears off my face. “Don’t do that.”
“Don’t do what?”
“You don’t have to act like you’re all tough and mighty in front of me. I know you’re not some coldhearted, bratty rich girl like you want others to believe.” He released my hands and reached out to wipe away the tears himself. “There’s nothing wrong with these.” He finished wiping away my tears and allowed his hand to drop to his side again.
I did not know what to say. I was seeing a whole side to Dean that I’d never seen before.
“I don’t know what went on between you two, and quite frankly, I don’t care. You’ve always pulled away from me, and you had your reasons. I respect that, but Janessa,” Dean’s eyes twinkled with an emotion I could not read, “If you need a shoulder to cry on�
��I’m here.”
Why would he offer such a thing? Dean? The man whore? Offering me some kind of friendship? Why? I’d rejected him over and over again in the three years I’d known him. Was there a motive behind his offer? Was he hoping to finally get into my pants?
He had always taken my rejections lightly. He’d never gotten angry. He had never giving up pursuing me either.
Dean lifted his hand in a sign of surrender. “And you can erase that horrified look on your face too. I’m not offering anything but a shoulder to cry on.” He pointed to my face, and I couldn’t help but laugh through the tears. I must have been that obvious.
The corners of his mouth curved up into a killer smile. “That’s better. You’re even more beautiful when you smile.”
“I’m sorry, Dean.”
He framed my face with both hands and brushed his lips against my forehead. I shut my eyes and by doing so I shut out the world too. With the exception of my pounding heart, the only thing I could feel was Dean’s fingers caressing the side of my cheeks.
During the few occasions Dean had gotten close enough to touch me, I’d instantly recoiled. Not because I was disgusted by him or anything like that, but because I knew without actually knowing that one single touch from him could ignite more than just innocent curiosity. I had never wanted to be used by someone again, and I felt Dean would probably want to do just that.
But then I had based whatever interest he had on me on assumptions. I really did not know how deeply his interest actually was or if he felt anything for me at all. I had never bothered to ask or find out.
I had been correct when I had referred to him as sex on legs, but what I didn’t know was that Dean McCarthy could actually be more than just a playboy. Dare I find out? Could I put myself through that again?
There was only one way to find out.
The End
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Payback is Sweet Page 27