by Jackie Dana
When they returned to Loraden, he had been harassed, imprisoned, and poisoned, all in the span of a few weeks. Then, inexplicably, they participated in Jiona together. When he described the expectations for Jiona participants, the idea of sleeping with him to satisfy those demands had been absurd. Yet the intimacy had happened, and not because of the festival—at least, not on her part.
She wanted desperately to deny that she had feelings for him, because to admit it would make her life exponentially more difficult. She wasn’t inclined to start a relationship with anyone in Sarducia, guessing that her time here was limited, and sooner or later she would return to her own home. She couldn’t explain why that was, but she imagined that her time here was likely close to an end. Pragmatically, he was of royal blood, and when—or if—he cleared his name, she understood enough of Sarducian customs to know that she would not be considered a suitable partner.
Despite all her rational arguments, she could not deny one obvious fact. What had happened last night meant something to her, and perhaps to him as well. There did not seem to be any sense of duty in their intimacy. What was she supposed to think—how should she feel?
The funny thing was, everyone here would say it was the goddess Kerthal’s handiwork.
She pondered it all in silence, and kept returning to what seemed to be the most obvious conclusion. Last night was a one-time thing. They were scared, it was cold, they were lonely—and beyond all that, he was compelled by religious duty that she respected, even if she couldn’t share it. Crazier things happened to people all the time for lesser reasons. It didn’t mean that they had to have feelings for one another, and it didn’t mean that they were going to start a relationship. It just happened. She knew that it was best that she push away her feelings before things got any more difficult.
While she was distracted by her thoughts, she had been paying little attention to the sounds ahead of her. Since Arric did not have to contend with the difficulties of crawling in a long skirt, his pace had substantially increased over hers, though she hadn’t noticed. When she paused for a moment to brush away a bit of debris on her palm, absolute silence surrounded her. “Arric?” she called out, but her voice was weak, and he did not respond. With a deep breath, she repeated his name, louder this time.
After a heart-stopping pause, he responded. “I’m here, just ahead.” His voice echoed against the constricting walls of the tunnel. She resumed crawling forward until she finally emerged into the cavern ahead, her head colliding with the hand he held out to catch her.
“You can stand up now,” he announced. She felt his hand travel from her shoulder to her wrist, and he took hold of her hand to help her up. “I just entered this large chamber, and I was waiting for you. The good news is, from here we should be safe from pursuit, should any soldiers be so foolish as to follow us this far. Even in the darkness I can sense many passages leading from this spot. They could never track us from this point. And—listen!”
She turned her head and strained to hear what he did. “Water? Is it the river?”
He laughed. “Aye, and it’s not too far from here. Come. Let’s see if we can find it!”
With impossibly confident steps he led her across the smooth and slightly inclined cavern floor and into a narrower passageway. Unlike the tunnel they had previously exited, however, this one had a high ceiling and they could stand, although they still had to walk single-file. Frequently drops of water fell from above and pelted their heads and arms. Damp rocks made traction difficult, but when she held out her free hand to keep from falling, her fingers discovered the wall was actually a slick latticework of stalactites rather than solid stone—just as she had remembered from the sinkhole. The memory cheered her, since climbing down into that hole had been one of the most terrifying things she had ever attempted, and yet at the bottom she had reveled in the beauty of the space.
She kept walking, knowing the river was nearer with every step, and soon she could feel the spray of a waterfall crashing into an invisible pool.
“Careful now, the floor is very wet here,” Arric warned her as he skirted around the spray. “It is too narrow here to stop and rest, but it shouldn’t be long now before the cave widens.”
Licking her cracked lips, she said nothing but squeezed his hand in agreement. The last taste of water had not left her, and only made her crave another drink.
“Blast,” he cursed a moment later. Quickly he added, “Kate, stop where you are, and stand perfectly still.” He released her hand.
“Okay. I won’t move a muscle.” Her heart pounded.
“Stay exactly where you are,” he barked to her, his tone brooking no argument.
“I heard you. I’m not going anywhere,” she replied. “But what’s wrong?”
Rather than respond to her question, he continued to give her instructions. “Don’t move your feet. Hold out your left hand, and see if you can you feel the wall.”
She tentatively held out her arm, expecting to hit solid rock, but felt nothing. “No. Is that a problem?”
Calmly, he said, “Do exactly as I say.”
She held her breath. “Why? What’s going on?”
“Just do what I tell you. Very carefully, lower yourself until you can touch the floor, feeling your way as you go, but do not sit, and do not move your feet. Use your hands if you need to maintain your balance. Then, very slowly, drop to your knees and move to your left, but feel the floor to the side before you move.”
Panic began to set in, and she resisted the urge to run to his voice. “Arric, what’s happening?”
“I’m going to try to find you, so keep talking.”
“Okay, what should I talk about? You didn’t tell me what’s going on.”
“Aye, that’s perfect. Are you moving?”
She was having problems with her clothing getting in the way. “No, I’m afraid that I might trip on this stupid dress. I need your help.”
“Then stay where you are.” She could hear him sliding his feet along the stone, and then his palm brushed her elbow, startling her slightly, but with his help she was able to keep from falling. “Good. Now get on your hands and knees, but stay there just a moment longer.” He paused, feeling his way around, and then instructed her, “get down on your hands and knees, carefully. Follow my voice, and crawl to me. I’m over to your left, not in front of you.”
She knelt down and began to slide her legs to the side. Her hands picked up a bit of sludge from the rocks. “I wish I could see where I’m going.”
“Just keep scooting to your left. Carefully, now.”
She continued slowly until she bumped into him. “Okay.”
Arric sighed. “Blessed Kerthal, you’re safe.” He fell to a sitting position beside her. “You have no idea how close we were to the edge. I was afraid one of us would fall.”
“Uhh, edge?”
“The pool was right at our feet. The floor just dropped off, right at the edge of the water, and there’s no way to know how deep the water is. I put my foot into it but was able to pull back just in time. I wasn’t sure what was to the left, if the river circled around, so I had to check before you could move away.”
Shaky, she sat beside him, and caught her breath. “I thought you could sense these things.”
“Nay, not that. I can sense the proper directions, so we don’t get lost, but in terms of something like that drop-off, I am as blind in here as you.”
“So you don’t know if there’s something like a rock ledge or something ahead?”
Again he sighed. “Only if I run into it,” he said, and from the way he said it, she could tell it had already happened several times. “I just hope I can help you avoid the same fate.”
With this new revelation, she appreciated anew the sacrifices he was making for her, but she also felt a bit less confident about their progress. Still, he had gotten them this far, and it couldn’t be that much longer. “Will we be able to continue this way?”
“Aye, but we’ll n
eed to move more slowly.” He cleared his throat, scratchy from thirst. “I hope we can get a drink soon, but I fear leaning over that edge.”
“I’m okay, really. We can save what we have for later.” Although she too was thirsty, she was in no mood to take unnecessary risks. “I’ll trust your judgment.”
“Then I suggest we keep going.” He found her hand locked his fingers over it. “Ready?”
“Sure.”
He led her along the wall, their progress painfully slow. Twice he left her standing alone, with strict instructions to keep her hand on the wall and her feet planted on the rock beneath her, so he could investigate the possibility of access to the water. She couldn’t see him, but she knew he was crawling away from the security of the wall, and each time she prayed she wouldn’t hear a loud splash as he tumbled into the river. On the second try, however, she heard him laugh in relief. Apparently this time he was successful.
“It’s rough, so you won’t slip,” he explained, and sure enough, the floor was pocked with places where the ancient ones must have broken stalagmites off at the base. The sudden realization that they were not the first ones to find this space comforted her, and with the evidence of other people having been here before them, a bit of the hopelessness of their situation faded. If others had done this, and survived, they could do it too.
He led her to the water’s edge, this time a handspan above the water itself, and situated on a bit of a backward slope. As she reached down, she quickly scooped up several handfuls to quench her thirst. The river was cold, and it was clear of the sediments of their previous stop. She splashed handfuls of water over her head, and on her face, taking care to cleanse the wound from her mishap the day before as well as she could without being able to see it. From the sound of it, Arric was doing much the same thing, washing off dirt and cleaning his own wounds.
When she was done, she wiped her face on her sleeves. “How long do you think we’ve been in here?”
“It must be close to midday, do you think?”
She considered the time more closely. His guess would mean they had been in the cave about four hours. The blindness was maddening, and she was ravenously hungry. “It has to be later than that. We’ve been crawling forever.”
“I hope you’re right,” he said as he shook excess water from his hair, and a few drops fell on her. This didn’t bother her, for it just meant he was very close. “It’s been a difficult journey already, and I’d rather not be in here a moment longer than absolutely necessary.” A moment later she heard him rustling around in the satchel and then one of his hands found hers, and he placed a piece of jerky in her palm. “This is a shortcut to Altopon, but even so it will not be quick. Did I tell you that Vaj expected it would take us at least four days to clear the cave?”
Her heart sank. “Oh no. Four days? You’ve got to be kidding.” She hoped to be out before nightfall. All of a sudden the dismal reality of being lost in the belly of this cave seemed insurmountable. “How can we possibly keep going for another three and a half days?”
He laughed, and the hearty sound reverberated through the room. “Feel free to leave whenever you’d like.”
If she could have seen him, Kate might have punched him.
Chapter 51
“Do you need a break?”
They had been crawling on their hands and knees for a while, and Kate noticed he had been slowing down, and his breathing sounded labored, as if he was struggling to keep moving.
“Aye, that’s a good idea.”
She heard the bag of provisions hit the floor, and the scrape of boot heels. It didn’t take long for her to reach him, and she sat next to him, their backs against the wall and their knees touching. “Are you okay?”
He uncorked the flask and took a sip. “It’s the adoli. I keep thinking it’s cleared out of my system and then its effects hit me again, and it’s all I can do to keep going.”
“That’s the poison? I had no idea it was still bothering you.”
He reached out for her hand, and offered her the flask as he continued. “Aye. As much as it’s bothering me now, I really don’t want to complain. It may have saved my life.”
“What does it feel like?”
“Hmm, well, it’s difficult to explain. I’ll be feeling fine one moment and then my muscles tighten up and feel like they’re on fire. When that happens, walking—or really moving at all—is really painful. Then it passes and everything’s fine. The problem is that it happens without warning, and I have to fight to keep going.”
“Really? I had no idea it would still be bothering you.”
“Aye. The effects of adoli only last a few days, but my last dose was the day before Jiona. The Sarnoc wanted to convince Bedoric that I was still unwell so he wouldn’t send me back to the tower, so they kept making me drink the stuff. Now that it’s clearing my system, I feel better, but I still have those moments.”
“Wait—they weren’t afraid of it killing you?”
“Nay, adoli cannot kill a man, though in large enough doses it can have the appearance of doing so. When I was a boy, Sarnoc Sofinar taught me about different potions. He said that adoli was his favorite because of its varied uses. A few sips, and it can relax someone in extreme pain, and with more, a person will fall into a deep sleep. Because of that, it is most often used for assisting people with serious injuries when no healer is available. Yet for all that, it is impossible to consume enough to die. It has uncomfortable effects, though, especially after the amount I consumed.”
“Oh, Arric, I’m sorry you had to go through all that.”
“Ah, you have nothing to be sorry about. You had nothing to do with it. I am curious, though, to discover how it could have made it into my wine. The Sarnoc claimed not to know the source of it.”
She had wondered the same thing. “Oh. Well...”
He sensed her hesitation. “Kate, do you know something about it?” The question was asked gently, without accusation.
She sat in silence for a moment, unsure how to proceed. Finally, she flattened her back against the stone wall, feeling the uneven texture between her shoulder blades, and said simply, “I don’t know how it got into your wine, but I’m pretty sure Rynar knew what it was.”
“The Aldrish?” he replied, surprise evident in his voice. He was quiet for a moment. Then he repeated the name a couple more times, more softly, as if saying it aloud would help him understand. “Are you certain?”
“No, but it makes sense. He seemed surprised when it happened, but then he didn’t act like you were in any real danger, except when he talked to Vosira Bedoric, and Tashin. It was as if he wanted them to think you were in more danger than you really were.”
“The Aldrish,” he said yet again, as if he was trying to accustom himself with the concept. “It’s curious then.” He cleared his throat, and then took another sip of water. “Since it didn’t come from the Sarnoc, I wonder if someone thought it really was poison.”
“I hate to ask, but—do you think it was your brother?”
“Hmm, it’s possible, I suppose, though if he wanted to kill me, why use poison? He could have had me executed, after all. Since it was poison, it makes more sense that it came from someone else, maybe one of the Bhagali. I certainly have my fair share of enemies.”
“That’s true. Well, whoever it was, I’m glad they used adoli and not a real poison.”
“Aye, on that point we are agreed.”
***
Like burrowing insects, they continued through the cave, blindly crawling forward, only marking the passage of time and distance by the increasing soreness of their knees and backs. The cave stretched on endlessly, and the oppressive darkness and silence was maddening.
In the silence of another narrow tunnel, Kate was able to entertain herself with creative uses of memories, imagining herself in various places and situations that she found comforting. As time slipped by, certain visions kept returning, nagging her with their insistent demands on her att
ention. She re-lived childhood moments spent with her mother, as well as the last hours she spent with her. She remembered how excited she was to get her job, beating out fifty other applicants. Then there was the trip to Hawaii with her ex-fiancé Alex, although those memories were quickly overshadowed by her recollection of the night she had found him with her best friend. Then the swirl of images, good and bad, stopped, her mind as blank as the reality before her sightless eyes.
In a terrifying moment, it was as if she had been born blind, and could recall no memories of a time when she could see. It became difficult to breathe. As anxiety took over, she tried to stand up, but in her desperation she crashed hard against the rock ceiling, and then collapsed face down. Irrationally, she tried again, with the same results. “Get me out of here,” she cried, and began to kick at the stone.
“Kate?” Hearing her thrashing around, he reached out for her arms, and pulled her to him. “What’s wrong?” She didn’t stop kicking, so he pulled her into his lap, wrapping his arms tightly around her. “Shh. I’m here.”
“I’ve got to get out of here,” she pleaded, her voice a medley of fragmented pitches punctuated with scattered breaths. “I can’t deal with it any more. I have to get out, somehow, now. I just have to. It’s too dark. You have to get me out of here. Please,” she cried, desperate with claustrophobia and panic, “get me out of this place.”
He cradled her shoulders in one arm, as if she was a child, and smoothed her hair. “Kate, hush, it’s all right. You’re safe. I know you can get past this. Just try to think about something else.”