“What offer?” Those delicious fingers of his tangled even tighter in her ringlets. He pulled so tight that her scalp stung. She loved his touch. She loved the burn, the pain. She loved it all, as long as it was Jay doing it to her.
“Marriage. You made the offer and I’ve come to accept.”
“What?” He did right himself then. She pulled away and stared straight into his stormy blue eyes. Up close, she could see the silvery tear tracks on his cheeks.
He was crying. Laya ground her teeth together to keep from bursting into tears of her own. Her hands fisted in Jay’s cotton t-shirt. “Actually, I haven’t come to do anything as drastic as that. I know you didn’t mean it. I’m not okay with just jumping into marriage, but I don’t want this to end. I want you, Jay. I told my parents I was moving out. I haven’t decided where I’m going yet, but I was hoping you’d let me stay here for a few days. If not though, I can get a hotel. I know you have extra rooms, but-”
“Why the hell…” Jay ground out. She braced herself for the worst. She slowly untangled her fingers from his shirt and stepped back, detaching herself, putting distance between them. She braced for him to tell her to leave. She braced for him to break her heart. “Would I ever put you in a different room when you belong in mine?”
It took her a long while, standing there just staring at Jay, to realize that he wasn’t going to tell her to leave.
“Although I’m so drunk, you might have to help me get there.”
“You didn’t… I saw your truck in the driveway.”
“Sure didn’t. Rone gave me a ride and Heather followed in my truck. They left together an hour ago.”
“Oh.” She breathed out a sigh of relief. “God, Jay, I’m so sorry. I’m sorry for everything. I… I’m not ready to let you go. Maybe someday, but not now. Not tonight. I don’t care if I have to carry you to bed, I’m going there with you.”
“That would be a sight. You carrying me. Maybe I should pass out right here, just to see it happen.”
“You wouldn’t be seeing much of anything then, would you?”
“I should get a glass of water.” Jay scrubbed a hand over his face and through his hair, mussing it all over the place. “I’m going to look like death tomorrow.”
“I guess that was the point. Drown out everything else behind the hangover.”
“Pretty much. You always were way too perceptive.”
“I’ll take you to bed and then I’ll get you some water. Come on.” Laya deftly shut the front door and slid the gold deadbolt in place. She left her bags, her purse and her overpriced duffel. She didn’t need any clothes out of there. She didn’t plan on needing them for the rest of the weekend either, if she had her way.
“Okay. Let’s go.” She wrapped an arm around Jay’s waist and let him lean on her. He did, but not fully. He spared her most of his weight. She never could have carried him. She wouldn’t even be able to pick up one of his legs. It struck her then, despite Jay’s physical size and imposing stature, that deep down, inside, he wasn’t strong at all. He’d grown up without a dad. He’d glassed over that, when they’d talked about it, but she could tell just how deeply it hurt him. His comments about marriage left her wondering, but she knew for sure, after what he’d said at her parent’s house. He was scared. Scared that she’d leave him? Scared that one day he wouldn’t want to stay? Scared of what? She didn’t know, but she wasn’t going to let him walk alone in his fear any longer.
Jay’s bed was a mess. Blankets and sheets everywhere. It looked like he’d flopped down in his jeans and t-shirt and done his fair share of tossing around already.
He half fell onto the bed, half dragged himself into it when she let him go. She did get him a glass of water from the kitchen and set it down on the nightstand beside the bed. None of the furniture in the house was expensive. The nightstand looked like it had been bought and assembled from some store that sold cheap boxed furniture. She loved it though. All of it. From the leather couch that was way too masculine to the battered, second hand table and chairs in the kitchen, to the lack of art or any wall décor throughout the place, to the mattress and box spring that didn’t have a headboard, to the cheap nightstands with the water rings from leaving glasses on them without a coaster underneath, as she’d just done. The house needed repairs and the back yard was a mess of weeds, but she loved it all because it was Jay’s.
Laya didn’t strip off her clothing. She was still wearing the same dress she’d had on at dinner. She turned out the light and slid into bed beside Jay, arranging the comforter over both of them. She didn’t wait for him to extend an arm. She scooted close and rested her head on Jay’s chest, right above his heartbeat. She draped her arm over him, holding him and loving him silently.
He was so quiet, she thought he might have fallen asleep until he let out a low groan. “The room is spinning. God, I feel like the bed is in the middle of a tornado. I might actually puke on you.”
“Oh. Well, in that case, do you want me to get off of your chest? All that extra weight probably doesn’t help. I could get you the garbage can out of the bathroom, if you’re sure you’re going to be ill. It would probably help, if you did get some that out. How much did you drink?”
“I don’t know. Rone just kept pouring them for me. He wasn’t partaking either.”
“Why would he do that? I thought friends are supposed to look out for each other.”
“He was. I would have done much more damage if I was by myself.”
She made a strangled noise in the back of her throat. “Jay… promise me- if something ever happens to us, and I’m not going to let it, but if it does, promise me that you won’t do this to yourself. I can’t stand the thought of you in pain. In any kind of pain.”
“The pain I was in was far worse than this.”
“I’m so sorry.”
“Don’t keep saying that. It was my own stubborn decision to leave. You said you’d come for me, but I didn’t believe you. I wanted to keep you away from me. I wanted to save you since you can’t seem to save yourself.”
“Save me from what?”
“From me. I’m no good at this.”
Tears threatened again, but she refused to let them fall. She blinked so rapidly it felt like her eyelashes were going to become permanently glued together. “Well neither am I. I was the same way before you. We can be no good at it together. Because with you, I was happy. Everything made sense when I was here. None of that other stuff mattered. I’m not giving up and I’m not going to let you.”
“You know,” Jay groaned. “I really misjudged you. That day at the shop. I thought you were all fluff and air and fake everything and there was nothing inside.”
“Takes one to know one.”
“How very true. That’s what I’m trying to save you from. The nothingness inside myself.”
“There is so much more than nothingness there. I thought you were a male pig and an asshole. I thought you were incredibly full of yourself.”
“And you weren’t wrong.”
“No, I wasn’t wrong.” She waited a moment and then they both burst out laughing. Jay’s shoulders shook. God, it felt good to laugh. She laughed until the tears that were threatening to burst forth finally did and then she was laughing and crying all at once.
“Don’t make me laugh. It gets even worse when I laugh. My head is already pounding and the room is still spinning. Really, if I do puke on you, please don’t hate me.”
“I could never hate you. Why don’t you stick a leg out and put it on the floor. Take some deep breaths. When I first got drunk the same thing happened to me. My friend and I were at her place and I didn’t dare go home because I knew how mad my parents would be. I was only seventeen. We may have sampled out of the bottles at her parent’s bar in the basement and filled them up with water so they wouldn’t notice.”
“The age old trick. I, on the other hand, was just bad and my mom knew it.”
“Your poor mom.”
�
�She’ll be your mom one day.”
A stunned silence settled over the room. She wasn’t sure who was more surprised. Herself at hearing the statement, or Jay for uttering it. She decided to just go for broke and tell him how she felt. Really tell him.
“Jay… I love you. I know that probably doesn’t mean a lot after a month, but I know it’s true. I know that love changes and grows with time and that’s what I want. I’ll never be able to stop thinking about you if we’re apart. I don’t want to be tortured for the rest of my life, so you just need to let me be here and you need to let me love you. As long as you’re okay with that, as long as we both kind of feel the same or are on the same page, I’m not going anywhere. I said I’d fight for you and I will.”
She was afraid, when he didn’t say anything, that she’d gone too far and said too much. Maybe he didn’t feel the same. Maybe he didn’t even truly want her there and he was just in no shape to tell her to leave.
When he turned his face to the side, he was smiling at her. She was propped up on an elbow above him and it was the most beautiful thing she’d seen in her life. His face, staring up at her, that soft glow in his eyes.
“I have no idea what it means to love someone. I haven’t been very loving to anyone my entire life. My sister and mom aside, I’ve even been a shit friend to Rone. I want to be better. I want to do better. You make me want to be better. Now come here.” Jay held his arms in the air above him. “Put some pressure back on my chest and hopefully my stomach will stay down where it belongs.”
“Put your foot on the floor. It really does work.” She shifted, laying her head back on Jay’s warm, strong chest. She threw her arm around him again, holding him protectively. The covers moved and he edged out a few inches so that he could stick his foot down on the floor.
“That is better,” he admitted a few minutes later.
“I told you.”
“I forgot that you’re always right. I guess I’d better get used to that.”
“Yes. I’m right. I’m right about all of this. Just close your eyes and you’ll believe me. Maybe not tomorrow with a killer hangover, but the day after.” She turned her face up to stare at Jay.
His lips curled into a fraction of a smile. “I believe you now.”
Laya giggled. She pulled herself up, threw her arms around Jay’s neck and kissed him. She didn’t hold back. She poured every ounce of feeling and sensation, every sorrow and regret, every joy and laugh, every smile and hope and all the love that was welling up inside of her. He kissed her back, softly, tenderly, with just as much feeling.
She pulled away, breathing heavily. “You should get some rest. The morning is going to be murderous as it is.”
“Oh, there isn’t going to be any resting tonight.”
“No? I think you’re pretty drunk.”
Jay blinked. “Maybe you’re right.”
“I’m always right, although in this case, I’m disappointed that I am.”
“I could always wrap myself around you for the rest of the night and snore in your ear and drool all over you.”
“Hmmm… let me think. That sounds just about like heaven.”
When Jay did fold himself around her, she closed her eyes and savored the wonderful warmth and solidness, the safety and protection and beauty of his body pressed so tightly to hers. He was heavy and too warm and when he did finally fall asleep, his breath smelled like whiskey and he did snore loudly right next to her ear and he did drool onto her neck. Or maybe it was just the warmth of his breath moistening her already sticky skin. Either way, she loved it. She loved every single second of it.
As she was drifting off to sleep, only one word remained in her thoughts. Soulmate. They’d said it before, more than once and she knew it was true. She knew right from the second she’d seen Jay, in all his horrible boasting glory, that he was the one for her.
With all his faults, his crass language, his fears, his impulsiveness and his snoring, she loved him. She’d realized something about herself too, since she met him. She was ready. She’d been waiting her whole life to move forward and find what she was good at, and even though she didn’t exactly know yet, she knew she was on her way. She’d always been meant to find Jay. They’d been sent to each other at exactly the right time.
Epilogue
The Surprise
Jay
Fresh off work, Jay walked into the house. Everything was silent except for the soft sound of muttered curses drifting from down the hall. He walked into the spare bedroom turned fashion design room. He picked his way around the piles of fabric overflowing every single square inch of the space.
In the very center of all the chaos was the woman he loved. She was currently trying to do something to the dress she was designing. She glanced up when she heard him enter. Her eyes snapped with fire and her lips were drawn into a thin line. Pins stuck out between her teeth.
“It’s a wonder you can get all those curses out when you have pins jammed into your mouth.” Jay grinned as he knelt beside Laya on the floor. He was careful to keep his greasy clothing and hands away from the overflowing emerald dress fitted onto the sewing form.
“There’s this saying, ‘I sew, therefore I swear.’ I’ve never heard anything so true,” Laya muttered. She pulled out the three pins and held them in between her thumb and index finger.
“What’s the problem? It looks fine to me.”
“I can’t get the back to hang right. I’ve tried everything.”
Jay swiveled around to get a better look. “It seems symmetrical enough. Do you want me to try it on so you could get a better idea?”
Despite her obvious anger and frustration, Laya had to smile. Jay stood and Laya let him pull her up with him. He wrapped his hands around her waist and planted an affectionate, lingering kiss on her lips.
“That would be fine,” she said, after she pulled away, “but it wouldn’t fit you. The last thing I need is all my seams ripped out.”
“Too bad. I’ve always thought I would look stunning in green silk.”
“I could try it on and you could fix the back.”
Jay laughed. “I’ve learned more about sewing this past year than I’ve learned in my entire life. Now at least I can fix the holes in my jeans.”
“You love the holes in your jeans.”
“In my underwear then?”
Laya giggled. “I threw those away. I couldn’t believe you were wearing them like that.”
“That’s the bachelor life, my dear.”
Laya gently shifted away. She walked around to the back of the dress and started fussing with the folds there.
“Even I can see it’s a stunning dress. Everyone is going to be impressed. You’ll get an amazing grade on this one, I’m sure.”
“These people have a trained eye. They’ll see all the flaws first and it will ruin it.”
“I think not.” Jay took a closer look at one of the folds. He pointed, so that he wouldn’t have to touch it and risk soiling the fabric. “What about that fold there? I think it’s hanging a little lower than the rest.”
“I think it’s that I left way too much fabric hanging down. It’s going to trail behind a person for years.”
“No, I think it’s this fold. Lift it up just a little and let’s see.”
Laya shot him a puzzled look. She finally capitulated and did as he asked. She lifted the fold, checking underneath of it to see where to resew or pin it, as he knew she would. She gasped and whirled. She stepped away from the dress, hands over her mouth. Tears were already leaking out of her eyes.
“Oh my god, Jay!” She flung herself into his arms.
“So is that a yes?” He held her against him until the sobs that he hoped were happy sobs, subsided.
When she pulled back, her face was tear stained. She stared up at him. “I don’t know what to say. I mean, I’m so proud that you could sew that up in there. I obviously taught you well.”
“I seriously hope that’s a yes.”
“Of course it’s a yes!”
“Go on and take it out of there then. I don’t trust myself. I came in here last night and sewed it on. That fold really was hanging a little low. I thought for sure maybe it would catch your attention today and you’d find it. I guess I hid it too well.”
“I would have found it eventually. You just helped things along.
Jay couldn’t keep a huge, silly grin off his face as he watched Laya work her magic with the scissors. She cut the ring off and held it out in front of her. Jay held his breath, hoping she’d like it. It wasn’t traditional at all. He’d gone the way Rone had and shopped antique. The ring was gold with intricate patterns and a sapphire instead of a diamond.
“This is…”
“Ugly? I can get you something else.” His heart sunk just a little. He did have a backup plan in case Laya didn’t like the ring. “We can go shopping together and you can pick it out yourself so that way you’re guaranteed to like it. If you like this one too, you can wear it on another finger instead or maybe on a chain-”
“It’s perfect.” Laya’s eyes sparkled. Her smile was absolutely radiant. She slipped the ring onto her finger. It was too big, but he’d made sure it would be, so that it could be sized down. “I love it so much. I love that it’s not traditional. You remembered how much I loved Heather’s ring when Rone asked her to marry him.”
“Yes. We had better have a longer engagement, so they can get married first. I don’t want to steal their thunder.”
“Considering they’re getting married next month, the engagement doesn’t have to be too long.”
“We’ve been through a lot this past year. Lots of changes. You showed up that night and never left. You were always searching for your passion and now you’ve found it. You make the most beautiful clothes and whatever doubts you have or how many curses you utter, it’s not going to change the fact that you’re excelling in a program that most people don’t have a hope in hell of passing. You see these things in your head and you sketch them out and you bring them to life. It’s amazing. You’re amazing. You’ve been a part of my soul and of my life ever since I first saw you and I can’t imagine it without you. I love you, Laya. I was never the marrying type, or that’s what I thought, until I met you. Now, when I think of you as my wife… there isn’t any better feeling in the world. And believe it or not, I got your father’s blessing.”
Forbidden Soulmates_A Steamy Hot Revenge Romance Page 12