by Taye, Kiru
Her heart stopped. Classical music poured through the speakers hung on the wall.
Ben sat in the leather chair facing the wall-to-ceiling window. He didn't even bother to look at her when she entered. Though she was sure he knew it was her. With cautious steps she approached him so she could see his face.
"Ben?"
His eyes were bloodshot, his hair disheveled where he'd been running his hand through them all night. He was in the same clothes he'd been wearing from yesterday, the sky blue shirt and charcoal trousers looked rumpled.
He glanced up at her and swiveled around.
"I guess you came to pick your things. There's no need to. I'm travelling to South Africa. So you can stay here. When I come back we'll work out an arrangement that won't derail your brother's visa application."
"Ben, I…"
"Selina, for what it's worth I'm sorry. If I'm honest I feared the day you'd find out about my family because I knew it would be the beginning of the end for us. Even I find it difficult forgiving my uncle, and I chose to distance myself from him. I don't see any reason why you should forgive me."
"There are plenty of reasons. You are nothing like your uncle."
He wasn't and she hated Ben comparing himself with such a bigoted man.
"In your defense, the things you did then can be dismissed as youthful folly. And when you realized what was going on, you chose to do the right thing and walk away. A very brave move in my opinion."
He fixed his inscrutable gaze on her and didn't speak as if expecting her to say more.
"I need to explain to you why I freaked out yesterday. Can I sit down?"
"Please." He waved to the sofa.
She sat on one end, making space for him to sit, hoping he would take her hint. She didn't want him towering over her, unnerving her. Instead, he remained in his chair.
"Ten years ago I was an eighteen year old girl excited and getting ready to marry the man I loved. It was a huge traditional wedding ceremony with members of both families there."
She closed her eyes reliving that day.
"Half way through the ceremony, gunmen arrived causing chaos. There was shooting and screaming, people running, falling, wounded, and dead."
"At first I was holding on tight to Tony. He was my new husband, and he would protect me. What he didn't have in looks he made up in youthfulness and ambition. One of the militia men gave him a choice, give up your new bride or both of us would be killed."
Tears misted her eyes.
"He turned to me and said what would be the use of both of us dying. He said I should go with them, that they wouldn’t hurt me. After all I was a girl. I begged him not to, but he told them to take me. They dragged me away. From that moment I never saw my parents or brother again. I was a captive and taken to their enclave in the bush where I was kept with some other girls. I fought the men who wanted to rape me. That's how I got the marks on my body. They said if I wouldn’t cooperate, they would mutilate me and leave me for dead. No other man would ever want me."
Her tears had now been falling so steadily that she didn't see Ben get up and walk round until she felt the gentle dip of the sofa and his arms lifting her onto his lap.
She sighed and sank into his warmth and safety, giving her the strength to carry on.
"The cuts hurt badly and without proper attention got infected. I caught a fever. Next time I woke up, I was in a hospital in the city. Apparently we'd been rescued by some soldiers. I was placed in the care of an aid worker who arranged for me to come to the UK as an asylum seeker due to the extent of my trauma."
He went very still for a moment before taking a handkerchief and wiping her face. He pulled her in tightly, his chin against her head.
"The pain from the physical wounds I can live with, but what still hurts me the most is the thought that someone who professed to care about me could abandon me so easily without a fight. He was supposed to protect me, but he sold me so cheaply."
"Your ex was a coward. He didn't deserve you."
She shrugged. "I never trusted anyone after him … until I met you. With you it's been a struggle to keep my guard up. And to find out so much about you and your family's role in Sierra Leone just took me back to that bad time. I kept thinking you will do the same thing Tony did to me."
"You do know that I would rather give up my life than allow any harm to come to you," he whispered into her hair. "I love you. I think I've loved you from the moment I first saw you."
Holding her breath, she let his unexpected words sink in, her insecurities coming to the fore for a brief moment. She lifted her head and met his gaze. The intensity and warmth of his grey eyes was a sea of sincerity she could drown in. Why had she doubted him?
"Before I met you I didn't believe it was possible for me to let go and trust someone else again. But in the past few months, you've proven to me that there is still someone worthy of my trust with your honor and integrity. I'm so happy I met you. There's nothing I'd like more than to stay in this apartment, but it is tainted with blood money and I can't live here knowing what I know."
"Tainted with blood money? What do you mean?" His forehead creased in a frown.
"You family makes money from the death and suffering of innocents, including my family. You must have used the money you earned to set up your business and buy this apartment. I can't stay here."
He shook his head.
"No, Selina. When I left Jo'burg, I left with nothing. The money I earned from my days as a mercenary, I gave to Siba and her family as reparation for the distress my uncle caused them."
"Oh? I don't understand." She waved her hand to encompass everything including the apartment.
"When my mother died, she'd left an inheritance for Bea and me in a trust fund. She was an old money English heiress. She owned a small fortune in property estates. That was where I got the money to start up the security firm with Christopher. So there's no blood money here."
"Oh, that's such a relief to hear." She hugged him tightly.
"Does that mean you'll stay?"
She leaned back. "Yes and no."
"I'll stay, but first, I'm going with you to South Africa if you can wait a week so I can arrange to take the time off."
He lifted her and put her back on the sofa before standing up.
"Did you not listen to a thing I said about my uncle?"
"I did. But as you said yesterday I've got to stop running and face my fears. Since you're going to face your fears, I need to stand by you. And how else am I going to show you that I trust you completely?"
"You don't have to do that."
"I do … or don’t you want me anymore?" she asked hesitantly.
"Oh, I want you like I've never wanted anything else before. More to the point, I need you as much as I need the air around me. In our relationship so far, the emphasis has been on me owning your body. The truth is you own my heart, my very soul. Last night you shattered it when you returned my bracelet. For the first time in my life, I knew what it was to be brokenhearted."
She followed his gaze to where the bracelet lay discarded on the table.
"I'm so sorry, Ben. I wasn't thinking straight."
She slid off the sofa onto the floor and knelt before him. She fixed her gaze at his feet.
"Please put the bracelet back on me."
"No. Not yet."
Anxiety tightened her chest making her woozy. What have I done? She'd allowed her fears to take over. This was the result.
"Stand up, Selina."
She lifted her gaze, tears clouding her eyes. He scrubbed his hand over his head, messing up the unruly hair even more. With a heavy heart, she sat back on the sofa.
"The next time you wear this bracelet I want there to be no doubt in your mind that you belong to me, all of you—your body, your heart, your very soul."
She sucked in breath and closed her eyes.
"And you can't make that decision until you've been to Johannesburg and seen where I've come from. Once
you know everything about me and you're certain in your heart, I will offer you the bracelet again."
Disappointed, she bit her lower lip. Without the piece of jewelry, she felt lonely and insecure. Still she accepted he had a point.
"Okay … but do I still have conjugal rights?" she asked glad that all wasn't lost.
A smile brightened his face.
"If you want them."
"I do."
Chapter Ten
"And there I was thinking I would have to tie you to our bed and tease you until you begged me to fuck you."
"You can still do that."
"Nah." He shook his head as he strode to her. "I don't have the patience for that."
He lifted her onto the table, pushed aside the contents, and kissed her. Sensation spiked through her body. His hands roamed over her, caressing every inch of her torso.
He stood between her legs, his thighs hard, and his erection pushing against her belly.
Then he took her clothes off, starting with her t-shirt, then her jeans until she was standing naked before him.
"Beautiful," he murmured, his low voice making her stomach do flip flops.
She shifted from one leg to the other.
"Don't move. I want to look at you."
Stepping back, his heated gaze swept from her face to her painted toe nails, leaving a trail of tingles, her entire body hit by static electricity. He observed every inch of her, tracing the oval shape of her face with the pad of his index finger, the pout of her lips, down to the delicate column of her neck, the taut tips of her nipples, the swell of her breasts, the rough scars on her stomach, the curve of her hips, the smoothness of her legs and back up to the hairless mound of her sex.
"Your body was created to be worshiped. Turn around."
She rotated, slowly, trying hard to quell the trembling that had erupted from her core and was now spreading through her body.
"I want to love you, cherish you, and protect you for as long as we both live."
Then he knelt before her, drawing in a deep breath as he parted her hooded flesh.
"Do you know what seeing you so wet for me does to me? Your scent is enthralling, and I can't wait to taste you."
Gasping, her breath caught in her throat.
He leaned forward, his mouth connecting with her core. The ground shifted. Her knees buckled. His grip on her hip tightened, keeping her upright as he delved deeper with his tongue.
A tremor ran through her body, pleasure rising like a fever. She clutched his shoulders, steadying herself. Nothing else compared to the sensations he elicited from her when he was touching her like this. Not the orgasm she'd had yesterday with the aid of the sex toys under his command nor even her own fingers could give her this much exhilaration.
He teased her, his tongue circled her clit, and then his teeth nipped at it. Her breath rasped in her throat when she suddenly couldn't breathe easily. Tightening her grip on his shoulders, her fingernails scraped his skin.
Gosh, she wanted him. Inside her.
His mouth continued exploring, teasing, tongue circling, probing, wriggling, teeth scraping, nipping, and lips sucking and blowing until she was mindless and her body was canting out of control.
"I … need you." She couldn't even string together a sentence. "Inside me … please."
"Not yet."
Warm air feathered her already sensitive flesh, adding to push her closer to the edge. He thrust his fingers inside her. She didn't know how many. Wet sounds combined with the rasping sound of her breathing. All she knew was that they filled her up. The combination of the friction of his mouth against her mound and his hand fucking her drove to hover uncontrollably over the abyss. She held back just above it.
Something primal within her still wanted his control, his permission. Despite everything.
"Ben?"
"Come for me, Lina."
And she tumbled, headlong, into pleasure, powerful and mind-blowing. He was there to catch her and hold her as her body jerked from shock after shock. When she came to, she tried to stand, but her body was limp.
As always he was there, thinking ahead. He stood up, scooped her into his arms and set her back on the table.
Samuel Barber's Adagio was playing, the sensual music heightening her mood.
"Later I'm going to take you back to the bedroom, tie you to it, and love you until you're sated. Then I'm going to blindfold you and feed you breakfast, so that all you have to do is focus on enjoying the here and now."
"I'd like that."
He started undoing his shirt buttons and ripped it off. Buttons flew and he tossed the shirt on the sofa. This was the first time she'd seen him toss his clothes like that. He was usually more methodical. He undid his fly, pushed his trousers down, and stepped out of them.
She'd seen her husband naked before. But each time was a little like the first time. Today he was even more glorious and powerful—from the strength of his broad shoulders to the slim line of his hips, from the cocooning qualities of his arms to the hardness of his thighs and even the now swollen erection with the tip glistening with his pearl, he was all masculine.
"But for now, I'm going to bury my dick deep into your pussy and just feel you, Lina." His voice was gruff and packed with heat just like his gaze.
"I'm not going to be slow or gentle."
"I don't want you to be."
He nodded. "Lean back on the table, anchor your body with your hands, so that it's curved up, your breasts in offering to me." His voice was so low, just above a whisper.
A part of her melted in response to his command. She needed this man. He didn't need to shout at her for her to do his bidding. His gentle whispers were enough to get her carrying out his instructions.
"Now, spread your legs. I want to make sure you're ready for me."
She moved her legs apart eager to have him between them.
"Oh, you are such a good girl. I love the way you get so wet so quickly."
He pressed his thumb on her swollen clit. She nearly jumped off the table but tightened her grip, anchored down by the thought that he wanted her there.
Gripping her hips, he positioned his hips between her legs, the broad head of his cock nudging her entrance. She held her breath in anticipation.
With one shove, he pushed in, her insides welcoming his hardness, clenching. She moved her hips to accommodate him in her tight channel, rising up to meet him. He withdrew and plunged deeper, harder.
She cried out, letting go, letting her body relax and accept his supremacy for these moments.
"Oh, Lina. You are so hot, so slick."
With one hand he gripped the back of her head in a handful of hair and tugged her forward. And then he was kissing her, his tongue thrusting back and forth, marauding, just as he started moving his hips in a similar motion.
He raised his head, locking gazes with her.
"If you let me, I will love you ‘til the day I die." His voice was gravelly with emotion.
Her heart clenched in response. She believed him. He would never hand her over to be harmed. She was back in that mindless zone again, all sensation and no thoughts. His motions drove her closer to the edge again. His thrusts were fast, hard, deep, plunging, withdrawing, taking, and giving. Driving her insane with overflowing need.
She cried out, forgetting even how to breathe, letting his body's impact on hers control her intake of air. She lifted her legs, crossing her feet over his taut butt cheek, using them as a way to feel his body since she couldn’t touch him.
Soon the wave was rising, cresting taking her to the zone where she could only think with her heart.
"I love you, Ben," she said just as she surfed the tip of the wave.
"And I love you, too, Lina. Fly for me."
How could she not? She let go and flew, knowing he would always be beside her, guarding her body and heart.
With a loud grunt he pumped his seed into her clenching channel that milked him until he collapsed on top of her. He to
ok most of his weight on his arms instead of crushing her body.
She didn't know how long they stayed there, their harsh breathing mixing with the classical music.
He put his hands under her and carried her to the door.
"Ben, we don't have any clothes on. What if Beatrice comes out?"
He chuckled. "One thing you need to know about my sister, she doesn't get out of bed before 9A.M. at the weekend especially after she's been partying all night."
She smiled. "I think we might want to take a cue from her and get some sleep, too. I didn't sleep much last night, and it looks like you didn't either."
He took her back to their bedroom, laid her gently on the bed, and joined her in it, pulling the sheet over them as he spooned her body.
"Why did you tell me to give the bracelet to Louisa?" he asked. Soft lips brushed against her right shoulder, a warm shiver slithering down her spine, warring with the shame tightening her belly.
Burrowing into the pillows, she hid her face.
"I'm sorry," she said in a muffled voice.
Warm lips continued their journey on her back downwards, soon joined by questing fingers, creating soft brushstrokes on canvas. Awareness flared again, overshadowing her remorse.
A mewl escaped her lips, and she melted into the sheets.
"Have I ever given you reason to think there was someone else?"
Her mind was already lost in the sensations taking over her body, so it took her a few seconds to process his question and the censure in his tone.
"No. Never." Her face heated with guilt again, and she shut her eyes.
Firm fingers clasped around her lower arm as another hand tugged her until she was lying on her stomach.
"And yet you questioned my integrity in the presence of my sister and her friend."
A clicking sound. Metal bit into her wrist. Alarmed, she yanked her head up from the pillow. Sure enough, chrome cuffs linked her right hand to the bed post. Punishment cuffs! He only ever put them on her when she was about to be reprimanded for her demerits. She pulled, and the rings clanged and stayed, the metal biting into her skin. Her bum cheeks were still sore from yesterday's paddling.