Queenslayer

by Sebastien de Castell

  I looked him over. His own robes were white silk, open in a wide v-shape over his broad chest, the rest subtly embroidered with flowers I recognised as the symbols of each of the twelve Daroman provinces. The whole affair was topped off with a bright green and gold sash. “Who you calling effete, friend?”

  I’d expected an angry retort, but he just held up his arms and grinned. “Perils of court life. These are the official garments of my office, and I’m required to appear in them on court days, of which today is one.”

  “And your office is what, again?” I asked, pulling on the trousers and shirt and desperately trying to think up another reason to comment on just how idiotic he looked.

  “The queen’s social secretary,” he repeated. “I manage her calendar.”

  I wasn’t sure of what to make of this guy, who talked and looked like he could wrestle bears, but dressed only slightly more reservedly than a comfort artisan in a not very high-end traveller’s saloon. “And what can I do for the queen’s social secretary?”

  He glanced around the room and proceeded to sit on the sofa that was shaped like a rather large woman. “What can you do for me? Kid, you’re a disowned, disgraced, and—if you ask me—displaced troublemaker with no money, no friends and no class. I doubt there’s a thing in this world you could do for me. I’m here to do something for you.”

  Ah, so he wasn’t here to kill me. Just to rough me up a little so as to deliver some message about who I shouldn’t cross. I stretched my neck a little to get the kinks out. I never like to get beaten up with a stiff neck. I could see Reichis’s beady eyes from under the bed where he was waiting to take a bite out of this guy’s ankle when the time came. Somehow I didn’t think it would help.

  “Let me guess—you’re here to give me a warning.”

  Arex stared at me wide-eyed for a second, then broke out laughing. He started to speak, but then stopped again to laugh some more. “Kid,” he said at last, “you’ve got the situation all wrong. I meant what I said: I’m the queen’s social secretary. I’m here to take you to court and begin the rather lengthy process of introducing you to the assembled nobles and courtiers.”

  Some of the tension in my chest eased. I think my relief was probably obvious, which only served to irritate me. “I think I’ll pass for today. I’m still tired from my trip and I’ve got some appointments to keep.”

  The easy smile left Arex’s face, just for a moment. “They’re gone, kid.”

  “Who’s gone?”

  He sighed. “Our relationship will progress a lot quicker if you get it into your head that I’m not one of those bumbling backwoods idiots you’re used to dealing with out in the borderlands. Koresh and Arrasia aren’t here. They left last night. Apparently they’re on an extremely important research project.”

  “For how long?” I asked.

  He shrugged. “Who knows? Could be a long time, unless things change.”

  So I had no concrete evidence that Koresh and Arrasia were the ones who’d sent the langzier and no way to get any, now that they were beyond my reach. Perhaps it would be worth trying to hunt them down before I left the city, or maybe find that servant who’d led me into the trap and drag him before the queen. Unless that was precisely what someone wanted me to do. Ancestors. I hate politics.

  Arex walked over and ran a hand along the leather seam of one of my saddlebags. “Going somewhere?” he asked.

  Something in his voice made me think carefully before I answered his question. “Nope,” I said finally. “Just got used to always keeping my things organised when I was out on the frontier. You know how it is.”

  Arex smiled. “Sure, makes perfect sense. Koresh and Arrasia left most of their things here in the palace when they went on their research trip, of course.”

  “Why ‘of course’?”

  “Well, because if it looked like they’d decided to, oh, I don’t know, permanently abandon their duties without permission from the queen, well, then they’d be in some trouble, wouldn’t they?”

  “How much trouble?”

  “Oh, you know, just the usual ‘hunted down by marshals and hanged by the neck until dead’ kind of trouble. It’s technically called ‘Desertion of the Monarch’. It’s an old law designed to prevent palace retainers from running if there’s an attempted coup.”

  I kept my expression casual. Reichis was still hidden under the bed, but I could see he was fully awake now. Arex was a big man, but we’d have the advantage that he wouldn’t see the squirrel cat coming. “Good thing I wasn’t planning on leaving without telling anyone,” I said.

  Arex gave me a wide-mouthed grin that hardly seemed friendly at all. “Good thing indeed.” He removed his hand from my saddlebag. “Oh, and watch your step around the corridors. Just a couple of hours ago we found a servant boy’s body in the palace grounds.”

  So much for using him as evidence against Koresh and Arrasia. “How did he die?”

  “Suicide. Apparently sometime last night he up and decided to throw himself from the seventh floor. Well, first he took the trouble to stick a knife in his own back, which seems excessive to me. Too bad really. From what I can tell, he was an enterprising young man; he’d just finished cleaning up the court baths, even though that wasn’t one of his duties and they had been cleaned just hours before.”

  Arex was staring at me as if he expected me to blurt out a confession or bellow a denial. I thought about what kind of pressure the boy might have been under. Had Koresh and Arrasia promised him money? Threatened his life? Then I remembered what Reichis had said about people choosing to be servants. “If you’re waiting for me to shed a tear, it might take a while,” I said.

  The queen’s social secretary gave an indifferent shrug. He rose to tower over me. “Come on, kid. It’s been fun playing, but the queen’s summoned you and attendance isn’t optional. Let’s not keep all the nice people waiting.” He paused at the door for a moment. “Oh, and bring your pet. People will get a laugh out of him, and besides, one of the maids is liable to step on the little fella if he keeps skulking under the bed like that.”

  12

  The Deck of Sixty-Five

  “The most important thing is to avoid embarrassing the queen,” Arex explained as we walked down a wide hallway decorated with marble busts and massive oil paintings of what I had to assume were previous Daroman monarchs, many of whom appeared to have been eating something particularly sour the day their portraits were being rendered.

  “And you think I might embarrass her?”

  He laughed. “Kid, I can’t imagine how you could possibly avoid it.”

  I stopped and waited for him to realise I wasn’t following him.

  When he turned he said, “What’s the matter? Scared of something?”

  Reichis gave a little growl. “Let me show him ‘scared’. Big damned oak tree.” It was the first thing he’d said since our encounter with the langzier. When you’re worried about whether your business partner is ever going to fully recover from being poisoned by a venomous snake, having them start the day by threatening to kill the first person they meet is oddly reassuring.

  Arex returned the growl with a benevolent smile. “Better keep a handle on that thing. Someone’s liable to cook it up for dinner.”

  “Keep talking like that and you might be surprised who ends up in the stew,” I said.

  The queen’s social secretary walked back to me. “Yeah? You feeling frisky, kid?”

  “I’m cool as a fresh stream, friend. But I’m going to have to ask you to stop calling me ‘kid’.” Other than Ferius Parfax and Reichis, just about everyone who’d ever called me “kid” had ended up trying to kill me.

  Arex poked a thick finger on my chest. It felt like being jabbed with the back end of a spear. “And what if I don’t, kid?”

  I should have seen through what he was doing, but I’d barely slept. I was angry and scared. So I got sloppy and let my temper get the best of me. Without so much as trying to distract Arex first, I
took a swing at him.

  He leaned back out of the way, neatly grabbed my arm and put me into a shoulder lock. Reichis growled, but Arex spun me around, using me like a shield. The squirrel cat froze in his tracks when he saw the big man’s other arm around my neck. “Best be a good doggy and sit this one out, or else your owner’s headed for the grave.”

  “‘Doggy’? Get out of the damned way, Kellen. I’m gonna tear out this guy’s tongue, wrap it around his eyeballs and make myself a sandwich.”

  I tried to slip out of the shoulder lock but Arex was a skilled wrestler. I was helpless. He pushed me against the wall of the hallway and leaned in close behind me.

  “Koresh and Arrasia were idiots, kid. They thought they had the queen all figured out, so they let their guard down. I’m not like them. I’m not anything like them.”

  “Reichis,” I said evenly, “go for his face.”

  Arex laughed. “Then what, Kellen of the Jan’Tep? He comes for me, I kill you. Maybe he injures me. Hell, maybe somehow he kills me. Then what? You’re dead. I’m dead. The damned squirrel cat’s as good as dead. So what happens to the queen?”

  I didn’t have an answer for that.

  Arex gave me one more push, then released his hold on me and spun me back around.

  “It took me all of three nasty comments to make you lose your cool, Kellen. You want to know how the queen’s enemies are going to use you to embarrass her? That’s how.”

  I shook myself off, stared back at the big man and realised I’d just shown myself to be a blundering amateur. “So that’s what this is? A lesson in decorum?”

  “Damn straight. I meant what I said, kid. I’m nothing like Koresh and Arrasia. I’ll do whatever it takes to keep the queen safe.”

  “You didn’t seem to be doing all that great a job of it when I got here,” I countered.

  A pained look crossed his face. “Kid, I do my best, but I’m one guy and not very important in the scheme of things. Do you have any idea how many different factions of the great Daroman houses are trying to out-manoeuvre each other and the throne? I go after the royal tutors with some clumsy tactic—the kind you were probably planning before they sent their little flying snake after you—and whole nests of vipers will come out of the woodwork.”

  I shook my head and started back down the hall, forcing him to follow me this time. “The langzier’s dead. Koresh and Arrasia are on the run. Seems like I did just fine without your advice.”

  He grabbed my shoulder again, but without the wrestling hold this time. “You’re right. You did. Nobody expected that. Then again, nobody planned for you to show up in the first place. You surprised everyone and scared the hell out of them. That was day one. What have you got planned for day two?”

  “I thought I might take ‘day two’ off.”

  Arex shook his head. “Doesn’t work that way. You spent last night settling your personal vendetta against Koresh and Arrasia. The rest of them, though? The court? They spent last night figuring out how to manipulate you or get rid of you. They’re thinking about those markings around your eye and wondering what it all means, and how they can use it against you. You walk into the throne room with this hick frontiersman act you’ve got going on, and they’ll box you into a corner so fast you’ll find yourself chief supporter of the ‘bring back Koresh’ movement before you know what hit you.”

  “So that’s what this is all about? Political power?”

  Arex snorted. “‘Political power’,” he repeated. “I love it when dumb people talk about politics like they’re commenting on the weather.”

  “Smells like rain,” Reichis said, “in case anyone cares.”

  “Fine, so explain this ‘political power’ you’re so impressed by.”

  Arex looked around hopelessly, like someone had asked him to explain animal husbandry to a horse. “First of all, political power isn’t one thing. It’s lots of things.”

  “All right. How many kinds of ‘political power’ are there?”

  He pointed at my coat pocket. “How many cards in one of your decks, oh, tutor of cards?”

  I had a few decks on me, none of which I planned to tell him about. “Four suits in a standard Daroman deck, each with an ace, nine numbered cards, a jack, a knight, a scholar, the queen and the king. Then there’s the five outlaw cards. That’s sixty-five,” I replied.

  “Right. Well, let’s start there. If you can wrap your head around the fact that there are at least sixty-five different kinds of political power, from influence to manipulation to debt to threat… just start with those four and we’ll see where it takes us.”

  We reached the entrance to the main hall, where marshals outside stood watching people as they sauntered in and out of the large marble room. Arex stopped me there. “This is it, kid. I’m going to take you in there and start introducing you to the infestation of snakes and rats we like to think of as the loyal Daroman nobility. What’s your objective?”

  “My ‘objective’? I don’t know. You didn’t tell me I needed an objective.”

  “Now you know. You don’t walk into court without a plan. So what’s your objective, kid?”

  I shrugged. “I wouldn’t mind finding a way to make you stop calling me ‘kid’.”

  Surprisingly, Arex nodded approvingly. “Good. How’re you going to do that?”

  “Umm… wait until your back is turned, then stick a knife in your kidney?”

  He shook his head. “Flawed, since that’d be the end of you too. Come on, what’s your plan?”

  “Hells, I don’t know. How am I supposed to figure this out on the spot?”

  “Not my problem. Let’s go. I’ll give you a hint: threaten me.”

  “All right. Quit calling me ‘kid’ or I’ll put a knife in your kidney.”

  “Not believable. Try again.”

  “I’ll tell the queen you’re an arsehole?”

  He smiled. “Closer, but that’s just going to make you look like you’re whining.”

  I thought about it for a moment. What does a queen’s social secretary worry about? What’s small enough to be within the realm of possibility, but big enough to make an impression? “How about this: call me ‘kid’ one more time and I’ll innocently turn my first conversation with the queen around to the fact that you seemed upset that Koresh and Arrasia were gone.”

  Arex thought about that for a while. “Good!” he said at last, nodding. “That’s a viable strategy. Innocent enough that you won’t look like you’ve got an axe to grind, but aggressive enough that the comment could make trouble for me in future. Nice work. You might be a hair more clever than I gave you credit for.”

  I actually felt pleased with his praise.

  “Oh, please,” Reichis said. “He’s manipulating you.”

  Damn it. You’d think I’d forgotten every lesson Ferius had taught me. “This whole ‘lesson’ of yours is just a way to manoeuvre me into thinking we’re on the same side, isn’t it?”

  The queen’s social secretary let out a big laugh and clapped me on the back. “Now you’re learning, kid! Come on—let’s go meet some other folks who might want you dead.”

  13

  Dashing Snouts

  As we entered the room, an old man in soft blue-and-silver robes announced us. “Arex Nerren, social secretary to the queen,” he said. “A cousin to Her Majesty, and Lord of the Eastern County of Verens. A warrior of noted skill in the arenas, he once felled two opponents while suffering a broken arm and collarbone. My lords and ladies, I present Secretary Arex.”

  Arex entered the room ahead of me and received smiles and nods from various nobles and courtiers. I tried to guess which ones were his friends and which were plotting against him. He turned back to me and waited for the herald to announce me.

  “Kellen Argos,” the old man said. “Her Majesty the Queen’s royal tutor of…ehm…her royal tutor of cards.” This last part sounded as if someone had forced him at knife-point to say it. “A man of…unusual fashion and distincti
ve facial markings. He…ehm…played a most enjoyable game of cards with Her Majesty and…hem…lost with good grace. My ladies and gentlemen of the court, I present Tutor Kellen.”

  “And his squirrel cat,” Arex said, looking entirely serious. “Don’t forget the squirrel cat.”

  “Ehm… does the… squirrel cat have a name?” the herald asked me discreetly.

  “Reichis,” I answered.

  “I further present, Reichis, master… ehm… rather, a squirrel cat of, well—” he glanced down at my business partner with a look of some desperation—“noble brown fur and… ehm… a most dashing snout.” The old man rushed through the last part. “Lords and ladies, I present Reichis.”

  People stared at the old man as if he’d gone insane. Arex smirked. Reichis laughed uncontrollably. I just tried to take it in stride and walked into the room.

  “‘Noble brown fur and a dashing snout’? Nicely done, Cerreck,” Arex chided the old man.

  “Just you shut your mouth, Arex,” the herald replied angrily. “What the hell has the world come to when I have to announce a squirrel cat at court?”

  Arex shook his head sadly. “Dark days indeed,” he said. “We shall all want for ‘noble brown fur’ and ‘dashing snouts’ soon enough.”

  Cerreck turned away, the scowl on his face disappearing as he greeted the next small group of nobles about to enter.

  “You’re kind of a jerk, aren’t you?” I said to Arex.

  “Actually, it’s pretty much the only perk of my job.” He directed me towards a small group of men and women clustered around the tall, powerful figure of a military man. “Now, speaking of jerks,” Arex said, “let me introduce you to Leonidas. He holds the rank of major in the queen’s northern army and commands a troop of the border forces.”

  “All right, but why start with him?”

  “Rumour has it he and Arrasia are lovers. So chances are he’ll be killing you before the day is out.”