by Laura Bailey
The cool night air had a slight breeze to it and it soothed her as she looked around, taking in the exotic flowers planted throughout the gardens, studying their beauty as she walked. The calmness and quiet enveloped her. As she turned a corner of the pathway large trees surrounded her. She saw something white amongst the branches. Her eyes strained to work out what it was and she walked closer. She could plainly hear a man’s voice now; moans, and the sound of impact, thumping. Mesmerized she leaned closer, stepping on to the grass as she saw clearly the man pounding into someone, a woman, bent over in front of him, his hand gripped in her hair as he pulled her head back, and thrust into her. Shocked, Madeline couldn’t help but look up at the man’s face, at his empty, blank expression, despite his moans he looked oddly removed from the situation, detached. It was Daniel.
Chapter Four
Though scared at the possibility of being caught, she couldn’t tear her eyes away, studying him with a fascination, not consciously realising how erotic she found the scene, the anonymity of it, the opposite if intimacy yet the most alluring of situations, of watching him in so sexually controlled a tableau. His restrained, obscene yet refined, self-controlled movements. She could see his eyes wide open, not focussed on the woman but aimed straight ahead, into the darkness. He turned his head to the side, instantly locking onto hers, suddenly without warning. She was caught but she didn’t move. His thrusts increased in urgency. His eyes tore into her, searching, pulling her into his with a hunger, a possession. He came hard, not releasing her from his stare.
Madeline came to her senses, panicking and she turned away hurriedly and retreated back along the path and into the function room. Disturbed and consumed by the fire in his eyes, by the threat and longing they had held, she dashed across the room and out onto the street. A desire awakened inside her, she wanted to run away. She couldn’t stay.
Outside she stood at the kerb, trying to flag down a cab.
The limo arrived beside her within seconds. It must have been parked very close by, but she had not called for it. She looked behind, saw Daniel walking toward her. Reaching her he pulled open the door for her. As she went to get in he brought his hand up to the side of her head. She could feel his fingers in her hair. Bringing his hand back down, he threw something to the ground.
“You had foliage in your hair.”
His eyes met hers, flaring with heat, with meaning.
The next morning rising at six thirty, her head was pounding. Her first thoughts were of the night before. They had driven home in virtual silence, the silence filled with words unspoken. She wasn’t a big drinker by any stretch of the imagination, and it had been a huge mistake. She dreaded the day and seeing him. She hoped he would be out at meetings all day. She needed to instigate what she had joined the company to do. Anything that she could find to bring him down; destroy him.
She reached her office carrying an espresso, hoping it would overcome her hangover, and get her through the day. Logging on, she set about seeing to the influx of emails.
Opening the door, Daniel stood on the threshold.
“Would you come into my office. I think we need to have a talk, you and I.”
“Of course.” Her heart started to pound ominously.
She went to sit down in front of his desk. To make matters worse he chose to stand next to her, leaning back nonchalantly against the edge of the desk, his hands resting along the rim.
“I don’t expect my assistant to abandon her role whenever she sees fit.”
“I’m sorry. I had a headache.”
“Mmm. Next time, you will not leave.”
Her chair was uncomfortably close to the lower half of his body, his legs spread apart. She felt that he had positioned himself deliberately.
“I expect my assistant to do as I say.”
“Really?” The challenge came out of her before she could stop herself. She blamed the espresso, or the hangover, and immediately regretted her sarcasm.
“Absolutely.” He countered, smiling as though pleased by her answer.
She could clearly see the bulge of an erection now directly in front of her as he eyes dropped from his. He was intimidating her sexually and enjoying it.
“What did I say about your attitude Madeline?”
She couldn’t concentrate on what he was saying.
“I think we may need to test your loyalty, your willingness to please me, because so far I can’t say that I’m particularly impressed by it.”
The anger inside her was building. How dare he speak to her like this?
“I can see I am going to have to give you time to adjust to this new working arrangement you find yourself in, and yet you expressed such keenness for the role. But I am not a man of great patience, so I suggest you up your game pretty quickly.”
“That’s no problem at all.” She said testily, rising, eager to leave the claustrophobia of the intimate situation, his body primed so close to her, arousing her despite her minds protestations.
He had expected a lot more fire from her. He felt somewhat disappointed. She was holding back. Why? He knew she had a hell of a mouth on her. Did she need the job so badly? It was something that in his position he never had to consider, but it struck him now that it would be the reality for her. Still, he wanted to see the flames in her eyes, needed her ferocity.
He left his office and took a walk, pulling out his cell phone.
“I don’t care Raymond, I specifically asked you to ensure the donation was released as soon as possible. This delay is unacceptable. If I have to take over the charitable overseeing from you I will do. Now, please see to it.”
It angered him, the total inefficiency. He wanted the new centre opened as soon as possible; the specialised equipment due to be installed would greatly enhance the mobility of the disabled residents who were to live there. He gave millions to charitable causes and he chose the organisations very carefully, thoroughly. He had the most privileged of upbringings and the most lavish of lifestyles was available to him now if he chose to indulge, and he frequently did. But he also saw to it that he shared that wealth. He was an only child, sent away to boarding school at the age of five. Despite the wealth of his family, loneliness and self-sufficiency had comprised his formative years; cruelty and abandonment a large part of his rearing. His father was now deceased and his mother had died when he was four. His nannies were highly qualified and experience; the best that money could buy, he remembered cynically.
He considered calling on a woman who kept herself available for him, but decided against it, returning to the office.
Maddy had been in his office for ten minutes searching it, unsure of where to look, and given that the office was quite bare apart from a locked filing cabinet and bookshelf she was left with rifling through the drawers of his desk. Her hands were trembling as she did it, unsure if he would come walking in at any moment. She found nothing of any help to her, could not find the key to the filing cabinet. She left his office angry and returned to her own.
She found it hard to keep her mind on the job; images of Daniel in various pose filled her vision. The image that most came to her was of his eyes, locked onto hers as he fucked the anonymous woman, his body flexed and powerful as he took her with force. Visceral, it evoked a profound need deep inside of her, compulsive raw need and longing.
Chapter Five
Madeline got on with her work for the rest of the day, highly aware that Daniel was in the office next door. The offices had a thick wall between them and she could not hear him in there, and that silence made the situation more unnerving to her; that he could leave it and come into her without hearing him approach. He was an enigma to her and she acknowledged that this was to be a much more difficult thing than she could ever have imagined over the years.
But the day passed without further incident and at seven pm she left for the day. She assumed he had already left.
Relieved to get home after getting a Chinese takeout on the way, she lay in a hot bath
. She was lonely. She had to admit it. No-one to talk to about the day, no-one to come home to. It had been this way for a long time, but it had never got to her like it did tonight. She reasoned that she was tired from the night before and had become maudlin. She just needed a good night’s sleep, and she went to bed early.
The next day she was refreshed and ready. Walking into the office she headed to the kitchen to make a dup of coffee. Linda, one of the secretaries was already in there.
“Hey, if you want to we’re going out for drinks after work.”
“Oh, ok, thank you, that would be nice.”
“Sure. You can get to know the team a little better. There’s a cool bar round the corner, does happy hour, great cocktails!”
“Ok, thanks Linda. Come get me when you’re leaving will you?”
It would do her good to get out, and if she was to be here a while it would help to make some friends.
Her phone was already ringing as she went into her office, and the morning became hectic with a multitude of things to get organised.
Daniel appeared suddenly at her door.
“Can you get me a reservation for 8pm tonight, at my usual place? You know where that is.”
“Of course.”
“Thank you.”
Why was it that everything he said seemed to her to hold a nuance, an underlying implication? His presence, his tone, the way in which he spoke slowly pronouncing every word correctly and fully, as though the most ordinary of words held a secret power that became apparent to those hearing it when he had uttered them.
At lunchtime she left to go for a walk, clear her head, get away from the oppressive atmosphere that imbued her. In her undertaking she had not expected her memories to become so pervading, encroaching on her day, reminding her of her purpose but upsetting her at the same time. Envy bit at her as she watched the carefree people she passed, imagining their happy lives, as tears formed in her eyes.
She took a longer than usual lunch, kept walking, tried to clear the things from her mind, seeking distraction.
Back at the office, she was glad for the demands of her role. She felt isolated in the room alone and welcomed the evening ahead.
At six thirty Linda poked her head in the door.
“We’re going in five.”
“Great. I’m coming.”
Daniel appeared just as she was coming out.
“The car will collect you at seven forty five.”
“What?”
“Did you not hear me?”
“What for?”
“Dinner. I asked you to make a reservation.”
“I know, but you didn’t say it was for me. I can’t, I have made other arrangements now.”
“Is that so?” He raised his eyebrows at her.
“Yes.”
“Well, next time I will be sure to fully explain to you.”
With that he left.
Madeline found Linda at her desk, applying lipstick.
“Nice colour. It suits you.”
“Oh thanks. You ready?”
“Sure.” Maddy smiled, eager to make a good impression on the group that she really didn’t know.
“Who else is coming?”
“The boys.”
She meant the dealers, Daniel’s team of brokers.
“Oh and Sahira.” Sahira was an administrator for the team.
They went over to the dealing section, as the guys got up, grabbing their jackets to go. They were in a boisterous mood, joking around and getting physical with each other before they had even left the office.
They all walked together down to the bar a block away. Gabe, the head broker bought the first round for everyone, Linda recommending a particular cocktail to Maddy. She didn’t want to drink much but she also didn’t want to give the impression of being a bore. It was important that she got on with them all; she might need their help, not that they would know why, but they could provide valuable information to her. Besides which, they all seemed really nice and she needed friends, needed to let her hair down and have some fun. It crossed her mind that Daniel was displeased with her for saying she could not go to dinner with him, but he had given her no notice and whilst she needed to get close to him, she was unsure what his agenda was and the intensity of his presence when he was with her intimidated her to the extreme.
The Bar was full of professionals still in their office clothes, large groups enjoying themselves. The conversation, what she could hear of it over the music, was light-hearted. No-one mentioned Daniel. The Djay played some rnb and as the evening wore on the group joined others on the small dance floor letting go of the stress of the day; the guys busting some moves, often comically so. She hadn’t laughed so much in a long time, and as the drinks flowed she became lost in the moment, pure relaxation and fun, so happy to have come along feeling at ease with them all and their impromptu revelry.
“Glad you came?” Chris leant down to ask her.
“This is just what I needed, thanks!”
“Same here!”
Chris was a bit of a geek in appearance, but highly educated and a genius at fixing IT issues. He kept all the systems working smoothly. With his overgrown dirty blonde hair and thick glasses he surprised her with his extroverted dance moves. Maybe it was the cocktails and shots he had had. He was usually fairly quiet in the office. He spinned her around the floor until she could hardly keep her balance, laughing at the sight of each other.
The sound of Motown came on over the speakers, and the group carried on dancing. She realised that when these guys partied, they partied hard. It was gone two am now and no-one had left yet. She dreaded getting up for work in just a few hours, but the memories they would have of the night made it worth it.
About an hour later, they called it a day. Escaping outside, they shared taxis as it dropped them off, those who lived closest first, and Maddy was first out of the taxi.
“Thanks so much for a great night.” She told Linda, Sahira, Chris and Gabe, as they all kissed her goodbye.
She looked at her bedside alarm when she got indoors. It was three twenty five am. Oh my God, she had to be up in three hours! But she’d had one hell of a good night; she smiled to herself as she lay down fully dressed on top of the bed.
Chapter Six
As the sunrise woke her, two hours later, she cursed not having black out curtains. She had an hour before she needed to get up and quickly grabbing a drink of water, she returned to bed.
Stepping into the office, she felt more camaraderie now with the team as they all greeted her, some looking exhausted, but mostly looking completely refreshed, and she wondered at how they had managed it. She was shattered and again definitely hung over. It had been an enormous effort to get showered and dressed.
Opening up her door she prayed for an easy day. Daniel stood there looking ominously imposing in his pristine tailored pinstripe suit, fitted immaculately to his shape. He obviously worked out significantly to maintain such physical perfection.
“Late night?” His tone sardonic.
Did she look that bad?
“Yes.”
“So I heard from the others. Well, let’s hope you can keep your mind on the job today.”
“I don’t think that will be a problem.”
“Glad to hear it. Now, I need the report I requested you to prepare by end of play yesterday. Where is it?”
“I emailed it to you yesterday.”
“No, you didn’t.”
“Yes. I did.” God, his damn attitude. He was so cold.
“Have you looked in you inbox?”
“What an incredibly good idea! Yes. I have. “
“Let me log on and I’ll show you I sent it. In fact, I’ll just send it to you again, given that you say you don’t have it.”
“How kind of you.” He left.
She logged on, huffing at his overbearing tone. She re-sent the report, and then checked her sent box to prove to herself that she had indeed sent it to him. It wasn’t th
ere. She couldn’t find it. Damn it, she knew she had sent it. It was the last thing she had done before, and then she remembered, she had been just about to do it when Linda had appeared around the door, saying they were ready to go to the Bar. She must have thought she had sent it in her hurry to leave. Oh well. She was really in no mood to apologise to him. She got her head down and got on with her work.
That afternoon, she knew Daniel was attending a meeting. She didn’t really expect to find anything she could use, but it was an opportunity to look again. She went into his office and started by looking for the key to the filing cabinet. She searched his desk drawers again, then went to the bookshelf, running her hands along the ledge to feel if it was there. She found it about half way along. As her hands trembled she unlocked the cabinet. She didn’t know where he had gone or how long he would be. Hurriedly she looked through the files. The problem was, she was not a forensic accountant and had no real head for figures. It was quite like a foreign language to her but she quickly took some of the files to her office and photocopied them, stuffing them into her handbag and returning to his office. She couldn’t risk doing too many, but she took one more pile, nausea hitting her stomach as she thought of the consequences of being caught. Replacing the files she locked the cabinet and returned the key, only not quite sure of the exact spot it had been in, she tried to remember. Placing her hand along the shelf she lay it down, her fingers brushing against something as she did so. Pulling it down she saw that it was a book, lying face down on the shelf, opposed to the others resting upright. It was a small black plain book, or rather what looked like a journal or diary, plain black leather, no writing on either side. Opening it up she saw lines of handwritten notes, in fine italicised ink. It was lines of verse; poetry. She began to read it and the words came to life, filling her with a wretched heartbreak from the sentiments expressed in the passages. It was an anguished cry of despair, isolation and loneliness; visceral in its haunting description, rendering a soul in turmoil and devastation.