by Rachel Wells
While Claire stormed off, Jonathan fed me, before sitting at the table and scratching his head a bit more. After an hour Claire returned and he apologized, although I was pretty sure he had no idea what he was actually sorry for. He poured her a glass of wine and after they talked things through, they made up and she eventually forgave him. It was all so strange.
Meanwhile, while they went to bed quite happy, I went to bed worrying about Snowball. I wasn’t sure why she was so angry with me. I had helped save her, and then gone to see if she was all right, yet I was being made to feel as if I was in the wrong. It was as if she would never forgive me, not for all the saucers of milk in Edgar Road, although I was only trying to be caring. It was so confusing.
After a fretful sleep I decided that I would take a leaf out of Jonathan’s book and apologize even though I hadn’t technically done anything bad. I thought about taking Snowball a gift but I didn’t want to overdo it. It was easy for me to get a mouse or bird for her – or more accurately, to ask Tiger to get me one as she was the better hunter – but what I needed to do was issue a heartfelt apology to her and hope that she would forgive me. I was pretty sure she wasn’t as easy to get round as Claire though; Claire was a lovely pushover when it came to me or Jonathan, but Snowball clearly wasn’t that easy to impress.
Decision made, I didn’t want to dilly-dally. I ate my breakfast quickly, but took some time cleaning myself, determined to look my best. I quickly made my way to the Snells’ back garden next door and hid behind a bush. I sat and waited, as I watched the kitchen scene unfold. It was familiar in a way.
Tim was dishing out breakfast. Daisy was looking at her phone as she ate toast. Christopher looked even more unhappy than he did the previous day, and Karen was drinking a cup of coffee. No one seemed to be speaking. I caught a glimpse of Snowball at her bowl, eating her breakfast, looking happier than when I last saw her, and I bided my time.
Finally, Tim cleared the dishes, Karen left the room and Daisy and Christopher followed shortly after. I guessed they were going to school. Tim loaded the dishwasher and Snowball came outside.
I slid out from my hiding place.
‘You!’ she exclaimed.
‘Listen, I’ve come to apologize. I’m sorry that I was in your house yesterday but I’d only come to find you, to check you were all right. I didn’t expect Christopher to talk to me.’
‘What did he say?’ Her eyes were narrowed.
‘Just that someone did something to his dad, someone who he thought was a friend. He didn’t say what.’
‘Good. That is more than you need to know.’ Her tail twitched from side to side angrily.
‘Snowball, there is something going on, and I know it’s something bad and sometimes it helps to share. I’ve solved my fair share of problems in my time, both for cats and for humans, and I’m not bad at it, if I do say so myself.’
‘Even you can’t fix this,’ she said.
‘But I could try,’ I pushed.
‘What is it with you? Why won’t you just leave us well alone? We don’t need you or your help.’
‘OK, fine. But can I ask you one thing? Snowball, if I tell you my story, how I came to live next door, and the people in my life then will you agree to listen? And after that if you want me to leave you alone then I will.’
She narrowed her eyes at me again. They really were like glittering sapphires.
‘So if I listen to your life story you’ll go away?’
‘If you want me to.’
‘Oh, I’m pretty sure I will. But do carry on. And I’ll try not to fall asleep.’
This was one tough cat to win over, but then I loved a challenge.
‘You see I am a doorstep cat. Before you moved in I was considering adding the new family here to my list of families I stay with, but of course they already had you.’ I tried to sound my most charming as I told her the story. Of my first owner Margaret, of being homeless, of the cats who helped me on my way, and those who tried to hurt me. I told her of reaching Edgar Road, my journey, how I met my families, helped them and brought people together. I left out no detail as I filled her in on my story.
‘So you see, I am actually a fairly resourceful cat,’ I said.
‘Is everything you’ve told me true?’ she asked.
‘Absolutely. I do not tell lies.’ I was slightly affronted, although I realized I had told her a lot of stories in one go. I sat upright, my tail curled around my body, trying to work out what she thought of it all.
‘Well it’s quite an adventure. And yes you have obviously proved yourself very helpful to those people but I don’t see how that applies to us.’
‘Can’t you see that if I know what’s wrong for your family I can help you guys too?’
‘No, you can’t.’
‘How do you know?’
‘I just know. Alfie, listen to me. I’m sure you are a very nice cat. Perhaps in other circumstances we could have been friends even. But now, this is not the time. My family is literally falling apart. They are only together now because of misery and the misery isn’t going anywhere. Just as I think things will get better, they get worse again. It’s all horrible and we are all tormented. I think that if there was something to be done I would have done it by now.’
‘Yes but if I knew … I might have a new perspective.’
‘Your life has been amazing, you’re right, but it’s nothing like mine. And you might have helped others but you can’t help us.’
‘But I’m sure I can.’ I was confident.
‘Alfie, you said that all I had to do was to listen to your story.’
‘I did,’ I admitted.
‘And if I still wanted you to keep away you would?’
‘I said that too.’
‘Well I want you to keep away. From me, from my family and especially from Christopher.’
‘But do you really?’ I asked, clinging on to my fast-evaporating hope.
‘I absolutely do. Goodbye.’ She was beating her tail from side to side, and as I looked at her I knew I’d failed.
She disappeared back into her house, her white fur gleaming in the sunlight, and I realized that for once I had overestimated my abilities. I made my way home, slowly, bereft at the idea that I had failed and might never be friends with her, and terrified at the thought that I would only be able to see her from afar and never hear her voice again. I was flooded with disappointment that her family wouldn’t be part of our lives, and I felt like a failure as a doorstep cat. A failure at everything. I felt the weight of the world settle on me as I made my way home.
- CHAPTER -
Twenty-Seven
‘I’m worried about Alfie,’ I heard Claire say but I didn’t lift my head up.
‘Why?’ Jonathan asked. ‘He looks all right to me.’
‘You never notice anything,’ Claire snapped. She was still in a bit of a mood it seemed. ‘He’s barely eaten the last few days. I even had to throw away salmon yesterday.’
‘Really?’ Jonathan started to pay attention.
‘Yes, really. Do you think he’s ill? He’s been in his bed much more than usual and has hardly been out. Or he stares out of the window if he’s not in bed. I’m really worried, Jon.’
They should be worried. There was definitely something going on with me. Since Snowball had banished me from her life, I had barely been able to eat and I had no interest in anything, not even seeing Tiger. I had hardly set foot outside the house, and had only done so when I absolutely had to. Tiger had been waiting for me outside my back door, wanting to go and play, and I told her I was feeling unwell, an excuse she reluctantly accepted. The thing was that I actually did feel terrible. I was quite out of sorts. Claire was right, it wasn’t like me not to tuck into my food but my appetite was all but gone. I felt like staring into space, had no energy for my usual sports, and all I wanted to do was to curl up in my cat bed, or stare out of the window into nothingness. I didn’t feel ill exactly but I certainly didn’t feel like my
self. And I didn’t understand what was wrong with me.
‘Shall we take him to the vet?’ Jonathan suggested. I wanted to yelp my objection but I didn’t even have the energy for that.
‘Yeah, if he doesn’t perk up by tomorrow I’ll take him in. But Jonathan, it’s as if he’s depressed or something.’
‘Do cats get depressed?’ Jonathan asked.
‘I don’t know, but he seems almost like I was when I first moved here. All mopey and lethargic.’
‘Blimey, a depressed cat, who’d have thought it. Of course he might just be lovesick.’
‘Do you think cats can be lovesick?’ Claire asked. Jonathan shrugged and they turned and walked away from me.
But that was it. I was lovesick. Jonathan had hit the nail on the head.
I felt lethargic, sad, and mournful. I knew I was just feeling sorry for myself but being in love, being rejected, does make one a bit self-indulgent, I guess. When Snowball sent me away, I felt as if I’d lost her forever. Not that I ever had her in the first place, but I felt as if I’d lost hope of her ever being mine. And I was the sort of cat that never lost hope.
I pricked up my ears. Claire was still talking about the vet, of which I am definitely not a fan. They prod and poke around where they’re not wanted and yes, perhaps they did some good too, but I had them down as people to visit only when necessary. I had far too much on my plate to spend time in the vet’s, especially as I now knew that my supposed illness was caused by the lack of love from another cat. No, no way did I want to go to the vet. I quickly realized it was time for me to pull myself together.
I started to process my thoughts. Just because Snowball said she wanted me to stay away didn’t mean forever? And the problem with her family hadn’t gone away, had it? No, in fact I was needed more than ever, even if she didn’t realize it. In fact, if I could help the family, Snowball would surely be so happy that she would definitely want to be my friend at the very least. Although for now I would respect her wishes and stay away, I knew that it wouldn’t be forever. Or even very long.
I had begun to regain my resolve but not my appetite; however, I realized that if I was going to prove useful, I needed to keep my strength up. So with all the energy I could muster, I left my bed, approached Claire and miaowed the way I did when I wanted feeding. She looked so happy as she praised me for looking better. Honestly, sometimes it was almost too easy.
I forced myself to eat; it wasn’t that I felt sick, I just wasn’t that hungry, but after some food and more water, I began to feel a bit stronger. I knew I had to fight the urge to pine, because it was clear that no one ever achieved anything by pining. After four days in bed, it was time to get up.
Next stop was Tiger. After looking in her garden to no avail, I made my way to our recreation space. She was there, with Nellie, Rocky and Elvis. They were sunbathing and passing the time, so I joined them.
‘Are you feeling better?’ Tiger asked. I nodded.
‘What was wrong?’ Nellie followed.
‘I don’t know, I just felt a bit under the weather,’ I replied, eager to change the subject. If I was lovesick and pining, the fewer people who knew the better. I had a reputation to maintain after all.
‘Guess what, Alfie?’ Elvis said.
‘What?’ I pricked up my ears.
‘Tom has a crush on our Tiger,’ Rocky quickly piped up.
‘Shut up,’ Tiger hissed.
‘He left her a present, a mouse,’ Nellie told me. Tiger just looked at me.
‘He’s been mooning around after her, and although we find it quite funny I do feel a bit sorry for him.’
‘Hey, enough!’ Tiger shouted. ‘Tom’s a bit rough around the edges but since he’s stopped fighting us he’s become a nice cat.’
‘But what about Snowball?’ I said.
‘That was his wake-up call, although personally I think it was more Salmon’s fault. Alfie, you know he helped us in any way he could when we were looking for Snowball, I think he deserves a second chance.’
I raised my whiskers in question. It seemed maybe Tiger was a little bit keen on Tom if she was willing to give him a ‘second chance’ and it was true, he had redeemed himself. I was actually delighted for my friend. Being in love, even unrequited love, made you want everyone else to feel it too.
‘Tom’s a nice guy now,’ I supported my friend. Tiger looked uncomfortable.
‘You never used to think that,’ Nellie said.
‘That was when he tried to bite me all the time but he doesn’t do that anymore, and he’s said he’ll give up fighting,’ I replied, magnanimously.
‘Glad you think so, Alfie. But anyway, just because he apparently likes me doesn’t mean that I feel the same.’ Tiger squirmed confirming my instinct was right.
‘But do you?’ I asked.
‘Right, who wants to chase butterflies?’ Tiger changed the subject.
Tiger and I went off together, with my promise to help her chase butterflies, although I also had an ulterior motive as we needed to talk.
‘Were you really ill?’ she asked, as we reached the park and made for the best butterfly bushes.
‘No, I was just a bit sad to be honest. I didn’t realize it at the time, but that’s what it was.’
‘Like when humans get depressed?’ Tiger asked.
‘Yes a bit like that. I didn’t want to eat, I was tired, I felt like I had no energy for anything.’
‘But now?’
‘I’m feeling a bit better. To be honest, I didn’t realize that I was so bad, but when my family started talking about the vet I knew I had to do something. So I forced myself to get up and come out.’
‘Oh, Alfie, you’re not the type of cat to be like that. Is this about Snowball?’ She sounded cross, although not jealous.
‘I know and that’s why it’s so infuriating. I know it’s a bit awkward but it is to do with Snowball. She makes me feel so sad, because she doesn’t like me.’
‘Right, Alfie, you need a project, because otherwise you might slip back into pining for that incredibly undeserving cat,’ Tiger stormed. ‘I’d like to give her a piece of my mind.’
‘Don’t, Tiger, and you’re right, I do need a project; if I focus on that then I’ll forget about the heart pains I’m feeling.’
‘God you’re dramatic. But listen, I’ll help you. Goodness knows you don’t deserve it but I will.’ Tiger blinked at me. And I wondered why I couldn’t have fallen in love with her. She cared about me so much that life would certainly have been much easier with her; but of course as my humans say ‘you don’t choose who you fall in love with’. It just happens.
- CHAPTER -
Twenty-Eight
‘Alfie, play with the football outside?’ Aleksy asked me as he headed out the patio doors. I followed him. It was family day again at our house, and I was almost back to my old self. I was totally myself in front of people – and cats – but I still had the odd moment of pining when I was alone. My heart ached a bit when I pictured Snowball, no matter how fruitless it was; I had no control. But at the same time I was eating again, exercising and on the whole feeling a lot better. I had a couple of glimpses of Snowball; only from afar now the fence had been fixed and I hadn’t risked going round there. Yet.
Tomasz bounded out after us, followed by a slightly more reluctant Henry. The boys started kicking the ball and I just watched them, rather than joining in, given that the ball was almost as big as me. Tomasz rushed into Aleksy, sending him flying, then he kicked the ball up into the air.
‘Tommy, stop,’ Aleksy said, rubbing his leg as he sat on the ground.
‘Sorry, Aleksy, I didn’t mean to hurt you.’
‘The ball is gone,’ Henry said, pointing at the fence. We all looked but the ball had disappeared.
‘I am very cross,’ Aleksy said to Tomasz as he picked himself up and, blinking back tears, made his way inside.
I followed him, leaving Tomasz and Henry outside. Everyone else was in the kitchen, cha
tting and sorting out food that smelt delicious, even with my reduced appetite.
‘Mum, Tommy kicked the ball over the fence and he bashed into me.’ Aleksy was a sensitive boy, and he rushed to his mother’s side and into her arms.
‘Which way did it go?’ Jonathan asked.
‘That side.’ Aleksy pointed to the Snells’.
‘Oh boy, they might not even answer the door.’
‘Who’s going to go?’ Claire asked.
‘You know after we all bonded over the missing Snowball we’ve barely seen them,’ Jonathan said.
‘Really?’ Tomasz asked.
‘I’ll go,’ Polly announced.
As Polly stood up to go, my heart leapt and I quickly stood up too. I definitely wasn’t going to miss this opportunity.
We made our way next door, Polly striding along and me running to keep up with her. I was excited about the fact I had an excuse to maybe get a glimpse of Snowball. I hadn’t seen her since she banished me, but I was also nervous at the idea of seeing her and how she might react.
Polly looked a bit anxious as she rang the doorbell. I could hear movement from inside the house, and then after what seemed like ages, the door slowly opened.
‘Hello, Polly,’ Daisy said with a smile as she opened the door. She turned round, shouting ‘It’s Polly.’ We couldn’t hear the response but no one else rushed to greet us. ‘Sorry, Mum’s tied up in the kitchen.’ I hoped she didn’t mean literally.
‘Right, so anyway,’ Polly started, her eyebrows a bit raised. ‘My friend’s little boy kicked the ball over your fence. I’m so sorry but I wondered if you wouldn’t mind getting it for us.’
‘Of course, no problem.’ I was surprised that Daisy was quite so sunny, given how she’d been when I’d seen her previously. She hadn’t closed the door when she went to get the ball, so I stood by Polly’s feet looking in; but there was no sign of Snowball, and I couldn’t help but feel disappointed. After a few minutes, we heard footsteps and then Daisy returned with Aleksy’s ball.