After a while we are stopped by two soldiers on their night shift rounds.
“Curfew was twenty minutes ago,” the first one says gruffly. “Do you need escorted to your bunks?”
“No,” I snap as Dawn stands silently beside me. We quickly run back to our rooms and are laughing by the time we step through the door. It feels good to laugh with my sister again. It’s been a while. She looks at me as if to say something but reconsiders it and crawls into bed. I don’t have time to dwell on that before I hear someone knock on the door.
“Pssst, Gabby.” I look around but I am the only one still up. “Gabby.” I hear again. I get to my feet and tip toe to the door so as not to wake anyone. I push it open and have to contain a scream.
Jeremy.
I jump towards him and he catches me in a fierce hug. He buries his face in my hair and whispers, “I’ve missed you.” I lean back to look at his face and run my fingertips down his cheek. I smile and he leans in and kisses me softly. He sets me back on my feet.
“You have no idea how happy I am to see you,” I say.
“I think I do,” he responds. He hears something behind him and turns to look but there is nothing there. “I have to go back to my dorm,” he says. When my face falls he explains, “If I break curfew I’ll have to pull extra duties tomorrow.” He leans his forehead against mine. “I just had to see you though.” He sighs, before kissing my head and leaving in the direction he came.
Chapter 32: Dawn
I don’t know what we are supposed to be doing here. I feel like rubbish just sitting around. I have explored a bit but I don’t like walking around here on my own. Corey decided to leave yesterday to go look for a settlement up north. He decided that this wasn’t his fight and he wanted nothing to do with these people. I asked him to take Matty with him because this compound is no place for a kid. I don’t want the rebels pressing him into service. It was a tearful goodbye. I promised him I would see him again. I just hope my last words to him weren’t a lie. His absence though, has left me gutted because kids have the ability to make everything just a little better.
I haven’t been able to see much of Lee. He’s stopped by a few times just to say hi but he can never stay for long. Other than that, we sit around our dorm, doing absolutely nothing. Allison comes and goes as she attends all sorts of meetings but the rest of us have been left to our own devices.
Drew hasn’t seen Jonathan since we were his prisoners and he's doing his best to avoid dealing with it. I wish I could talk to him about it; be there for him. I know how much his brother means to him. We’ve made some progress, Drew and I, but nothing substantial.
Done exploring for the day, I walk into the room to find Lee waiting for me.
“Hey little lady,” he says. I cringe as he tries to imitate Sam.
“Please don’t call me that,” I say as I sit next to him.
“Still too painful?” he asks.
“It isn’t for you?” I respond.
“I guess thinking about him and the way he was is less painful than forgetting.” He looks away from me and I put my arm around him.
“You’re right. Sam was the best friend I ever had. I won’t soon forget that.”
“Ma is going to be devastated when she gets here,” he says.
“Ma is coming here?” I ask.
“Yeah. There are American refugees here from all over. Shay got here ahead of the group but she says they’re on their way. Even the caves weren’t safe anymore and it isn’t easy to reach the Americans in the North,” he explains.
The mention of Ma makes me happy but the fact that Shay is here does not. She had a thing for Drew and she hated me. She acted like such a slag last time I saw her. She’s going to make it that much harder to get things with him back to the way they were. Wanting to change the subject, I ask, “So how did you and Jeremy make it here?”
“Well,” he begins, “after we were separated from Gabby, we ended up in a different part of the woods, away from the fighting. Jeremy was injured. A bullet had clipped his leg. He wanted to go back when we heard the bomb but I wouldn’t let him because he wouldn’t have made it. I bandaged him up with my shirt and we stumbled off towards the river. We walked for three days until it was too much for Jeremy. His leg was infected real bad. I lay him down, expecting him to be dead in the morning but we were awakened by rebel soldiers pointing their guns at us. They saved our lives.”
“Wow,” I say, “and now you’re soldiers.”
“Yes we are,” he says with a sense of pride.
“Soldier,” a command rings out from the door. Lee shoots to his feet and raises his arm in salute as Jonathan Clarke stands in the open doorway.
“Yes sir?” Lee responds.
“I believe you have a training session scheduled right about now,” Jonathan says sternly. “Off you go.” Lee gives one final salute to Jonathan and a smile to me before he leaves. Jonathan doesn’t follow him. Instead, he steps farther in to the room and studies me.
“Why did my father tell me to find you,” I blurt after a few moments of uncomfortable silence. Jonathan smiles.
“General Nolan has been a great friend to the rebels and an even greater friend to me. He helped me escape the Floridaland camps.” There is something sinister in the smile he gives me.
“I forgot, Drew told me you were sent to be a slave,” I respond. My father seems to be a popular man in the colonies.
“Ah yes,” he says, “my little brother, Drew. Never thought I'd see him again. I suppose I should thank you for saving his life. But then, he's not the same Drew, is he? Something seems a bit off with him.” I want to tell him that he’s one to talk but I don’t.
“That’s because he was detained and tortured in Texas,” I snap, suddenly defensive of a boy who has barely spoken to me in weeks. “All because of who your father is.”
“My father,” he says under his breath but it is loud enough for me to hear. There’s something about the way he says it though that I don’t understand. He straightens up and flattens the creases in his uniform before saying, “well, Dawn, it’s been a pleasure talking to you but I must be on my way.” He leaves before I can even say goodbye.
Chapter 24: Drew
I can't help but watch Dawn from across the room as she talks to Lee. I missed her smile. Her eyes wander over to me and she looks away quickly. I don't blame her. I've been a right git lately but I can't help it. I have so much anger right now. Dawn wants to comfort me but I can't let her.
I am not myself.
As Dawn tucks a strand of hair behind her ear, I can't take my eyes away.
Please, Dawn, don't give up on me yet. Give me time to come back to you.
Chapter 35: Drew
I’ve been walking through these halls for hours. I think I’ve seen pretty much every inch of this place but I don’t stop. Walking keeps my mind occupied. I focus on one step and then the next. I stop in and watch some of the training. Some of these soldiers are amazing at what they do.
Jeremy can hit the center of a target nine times out of ten when you put a rifle in his hands. Lee can beat almost anyone in hand to hand combat. These soldiers climb the ropes hanging from the ceiling like they are nothing. They throw knives and never miss. I’ve seen some of the training for the rankers in London and it is nowhere near as intense as this. I guess it doesn’t need to be when they’re only used as a police force. This army of rebels is meant for something so much more.
I don’t know where I am now. I got turned around a few minutes ago and never sussed it out. I walk past what seems to be a row of offices. As I pass I hear my name.
“Drew!” Jonathan yells from a nearby office. I decide to ignore it because I don’t know if I can handle him wittering on about duty and whatever else excuse he tries to give me for not reaching out since I got here. I wouldn’t know if I was talking to my brother or the leader of the rebels. Which one was it that was unhappy to see me?
“Drew!” He is right behind me thi
s time so I turn.
“What?” I snap.
“You’re not supposed to be in this area.” Oh, it’s the rebel leader, not my brother.
“Sorry, I’ll just go.” I try to get away as quickly as possible but he grabs my arm.
“We need to talk,” he says as he pulls me into his office and shuts the door.
“Well,” I say, “first answer me this, do I call you Jonathan or James?”
“That’s what we need to talk about. My name isn’t James. I was born as Jonathan Clarke,” he pauses, allowing me to speak.
“Then who is James?” I ask, irritated.
“My assignment,” he says.
“What?” I ask, my confusion making me angry.
“I’m not explaining this well,” he says. “I am not your brother. I never was.”
“I don’t understand,” I say.
“My mother had an affair with your father yes, but my mother was also a rebel. She had me a year after the affair and my real father had died. The rebels saw the perfect opportunity.”
“Opportunity for what?” I ask harshly, beginning to understand how daft I’ve been.
“To place me in the Crawford household,” he admits. “While I was spending summers with you, I was reporting back on your father.”
“But you were just a kid,” I snap, the anger boiling up inside of me, trying to break free.
“The rebels use kids for a lot of things.” He is quiet for a moment before he continues, “that’s not all.”
“What more could there be. I already know that the brother I thought I had was a lie. I know what a fool I’ve been to miss you and try to find you. My father was right about you all along.” It’s harsh but I can’t help it. James was the one member of my family that I thought I could count on before he was sent away. My father never trusted him. He thought James was dangerous. I always defended him. In one short moment, the life I thought I had has been reduced to shambles.
“As we got older my orders changed,” he says. “I still had to report on your father but I had previously reported that you and your father did not see eye to eye. I was told to drive that wedge in further- to make sure you remained distanced from him. That’s when I started teaching you about the Bible. I knew that would cause irreparable harm to the relationship. I was following orders.”
In an instant I lunge across the desk and punch him in the face. He tries to block me but my anger is too strong. “It was all a lie! You! My father! Lies!” I scream but he doesn’t look scared. He actually has the audacity to look sad for hurting me. I punch him again and, this time, soldiers come rushing into the room. They grab my arms to restrain me but Jonathan puts up his hands.
“Let him go,” he says. I yank my arms free of their loosening grips and stalk from the room.
Chapter 36: Drew
My fists clench and unclench repeatedly as I walk down the hall. I don’t know where I’m heading but I know I need to get as far away from that office as I can. As I am wandering aimlessly I feel someone fall in step beside me. It’s Shay, from the caves.
“Hey stranger,” she says.
“Hi Shay.” I don’t look up.
“Geez, what’s wrong with you?” she asks.
“Nothing,” I snap.
“I don’t believe you,” she says. Why won’t this girl just leave me alone?
“I don’t want to talk to you about it.” I regret the harshness in my voice as soon as I let it out.
“Ouch,” she says, placing a hand over her heart, feigning hurt. “Well, Dawn is in training room A if you need to talk to someone.” She speeds up to walk past me but not before turning one last time. “Oh, and I know what a dick you’ve been to her lately. Lee told me. She’ll forgive you if you let her.” With that, she practically skips away. I’m sure if my pretend brother saw her do that in uniform he’d be narked. I smile. Anything to upset that arse.
I don’t realize where I’m going until I find myself standing outside training room A. I reach for the door handle and then pull my hand back. How can I talk to Dawn? I haven’t been able to control the way I’ve been treating her. I have this anger inside of me that makes things come out of my mouth that I instantly regret. I can’t help it. My bruises are finally healing and it’s no longer painful to move but I still can’t stand to be touched. The entire time I was in Texas, every touch came with pain. Every word had a motive.
I tell myself to grow some balls and I reach for the door again. I pull it open and search the room for Dawn. I find her near the back wall with Lee. He’s teaching her to fight as I walk up.
“Okay, Dawn, now I want you to do the sequence we worked on before. Punch, punch, punch, kick. Aim for the pads each time. Use all your strength,” Lee instructs.
I watch as she follows his lead. I didn’t even know she had started training, let alone that she isn’t half bad. It shows how out of touch I’ve been. Lee spots me first and waves me over. Dawn turns and her face drops when she sees me. I don’t blame her.
“Drew!” Lee says. “Are you finally starting your training?” This Lee is much different than the one that helped us get to Floridaland. For one, he talks a lot more.
“Not today,” I say. “Dawn, can I talk to you?” I wait for her answer anxiously. She has no reason to say yes. She looks to Lee, unsure of what to do.
“We’ll pick this up later,” he tells her, “go.”
She turns to me and nods slowly. I lead the way through the maze of soldiers honing their skills. Once we get to the dorm and shut the door behind us, we are alone. There is no commotion to distract us now and I don’t know what I should say. How do I start?
The shyness in her demeanor is killing me. I did that. I know I did. She is no longer comfortable around me and the air is charged with things unsaid. I take a seat on my bed and Dawn sits on Gabby’s, which is right next to me. She scoots to the opposite end so that we are not right across from each other. We sit in silence for what seems like an eternity before I begin.
“I didn’t know who else to talk to,” I say. “I wasn’t sure if I could still come to you.” She nods and I continue, “I talked to James or I guess his name is Jonathan.”
“James as in your brother?” she asks patiently.
“As in my fake brother,” I say. I tell her the entire story of finding myself in his office and learning the truth about my supposed brother and his mother. I even tell her about my reaction to him without glossing over the violent parts. As I talk, she listens but not like most people listen as they think of other things. She truly listens. I can see it in her eyes. It’s the same look I saw when I told her about James in the first place. We were sitting on the ground leaning on the cabin wall at the caves. That’s when I fell for her, only I didn’t know it yet.
I finish my story and she moves from Gabby’s bed to mine and grabs my hand. For the first time since Texas, I don’t flinch away. She doesn’t say she’s sorry as most people would. She knows how empty that word is. Instead, she reaches up to touch my face. I lean my cheek into her palm and she wraps her arms around me in a hug.
“It’s going to be okay,” she whispers.
Chapter 37: Miranda
One of the benefits of my high rank is access to the security cameras. I lean back in my office chair and watch the two images side by side. On the right, Gabby is in the shooting range. She has remarkable aim. On the left, Dawn is doing strength training. Strength conditioning and hand to hand fighting are the only two training exercises that Dawn will attempt. She refuses to pick up a gun and won’t touch the knives. Her superiors tell me that she cannot be a soldier without these skills. I don’t know if she even wants to be a soldier. For one, she asks too many questions about everything.
Gabby is a gem. She seems to excel at whatever she tries. She was already assigned to the military in England. She will make a great rebel soldier even if she is a little cheeky at times.
They still do not know that I am here. I keep to the officer’s wing an
d the command rooms. Jonathan keeps telling me that I need to face them, if only to get it over with. He seems to think that I am just scared of how they will make me look in front of the other soldiers; that it will undermine my authority. Only someone with a mindset like his would think that. He abhors family connections that get in the way. It’s almost as if he is missing a part of his humanity. What I am scared of is that I will meet them and instantly feel a motherly connection. I don’t want to start questioning all of my past decisions. I don’t want to start questioning my cause.
There is a knock at my door and I quickly switch off the screens.
“Come in,” I call. Kira walks in. She is the soldier who has been assigned to assist me in whatever I need. She stops abruptly and salutes. I still have not gotten used to that. The rebels in England seem so unorganized compared to these people. In London, they are not all soldiers. Some of them are in the English military but when they are about rebel business, they are just people.
“Sir,” Kira says.
“Yes soldier. What is it?” She doesn’t flinch away from my abruptness as she did when I first got here.
“Officer Clarke would like to see you,” she says. I wave her off and gather the papers on my desk. I need to see him as well. I walk the short distance to his office and enter without knocking. His assistant tries to stop me but I pay no attention.
Allison and Jonathan are hunched over the table in the middle of the room, looking at something. “Miranda come here,” Jonathan beckons.
“What’s going on?” I ask.
“Sir,” Allison begins, “these are the maps that I brought back with me from Texas.”
“Why wasn’t I told about this sooner?” I demand.
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