by J. C. Cliff
“Our lead in was a very bitter ex-girlfriend of one particular mafia don who came from another mafia family. Talk about a touchy situation. There were tensions between the two families because of it. I think she caught him cheating on her, if I remember correctly, but she fell right into Stryker’s arms on the rebound,” Travis remarks, while in deep thought. “Don’t know if it was real, or if it was rebound, but she had her eyes set on you.”
“Yeah, that’s her. She was all too eager to either claim me, or make her ex jealous. There were several times when I thought someone was gonna nix her, but that would’ve started an all-out war. But God al-fucking-mighty, I remember just wanting to slit my wrists every second I had to be with her. I had to listen to so much damn drivel and drama. She was fuckin’ nuts,” I tell them.
“Anyhow, since Murphy’s Law was with me that night, Valerie decided to go out with some girlfriends last minute after I told her to stay at home. She just so happened to stumble into the same bar I was at with the other woman,” I tell them with a pained grimace. “We were both coming on thick with each other, and Valerie… shit, Valerie saw it all.”
“Holy shit,” Hunter exclaims.
“Oh, it got better,” I assure him. “Valerie called me out, right in front of that crazy bitch, God, and everyone. Of course, I was backed into a corner and had to deny we ever had anything special.” I flex my fingers several times, forming a fist as the memory sits on my chest like a Mac truck. “I was being closely watched by the mafia, especially because of the woman I was with. I couldn’t expose Valerie to them, letting the mafia know what she truly meant to me, and at the same time, I couldn’t compromise my mission.”
Hunter rubs at his temples, looking devastated on my behalf. Actually, all the guys are looking at me with something akin to pity. I exhale a weary sigh, as I know all of them are feeling bad for me. No one likes to hear how their best friend’s heart was shattered. But the fact of the matter is I will always be loyal to my brothers and our careers, first and foremost. The contract work we do is some serious shit, and if they can’t depend on me to have their backs, what good am I? I’d never forgive myself if one of them died because of my own sloppiness. If I don’t have these guys, I have nothing, absolutely nothing. Everyone remains silent, waiting patiently for me to tell the rest of my story.
“To top it all off, when I said for her to stay in that night and wait for me at her apartment, I told her I was working late, which in all actuality I was, but she didn’t see it that way. She thought she was catching me in a bold-faced lie, and in her eyes, it was so I could play around with another woman. I tried to defuse the situation the best I could, but neither one of those women were having it. They both were jealous, and Valerie especially was the one who went ballistic on me.”
It is not fun revisiting this shit. I huff out a silent, derisive laugh, thinking of how everything had morphed into a wild and tangled mess of insanity so many years ago. I can still replay the incident in my mind like it was yesterday.
“Valerie created such a scene she easily succeeded in grabbing the attention of another high-ranking don. He was one of the nastiest men I knew, and he was eyeing her like a piece of candy. Of course, that pissed me off, and at that point, I knew I had to do something to get her out of there as fast as possible. The man started to butt in, asking if there was a problem, and I was forced to make her look bad… really bad. Short of shouting out that she had a venereal disease, I said a lot of lies and did a lot of things in front of her for her own protection. I left no doubt in her mind just where she stood with me. God, it was ugly, so fucking ugly, but I did it too so the other men would not only leave her alone, but I had to make them all think she meant nothing to me. I was already sweating bullets, thinking with one slip of her tongue she could say something that was incongruous to my cover and unknowingly blow it for me. Of course, it helped to have the crazy bitch on my side, who thought she truly was my girlfriend. I let her stake her claim on me in front of Valerie.”
Everyone’s gaze is transfixed on me as they hang on my every word. I know they’re floored, to say the least, because we’ve always talked things out as a group, but losing Val had sliced me to shreds, and I never wanted to bring it up or talk about it.
“I thought at the time I could later go back to her place and fix it all. I was going to come clean with her about my undercover work, even though I didn’t want to, but by then it was too late. She was done with me the second she left that bar. She was so fucking over me that within a month’s time she had moved out of her apartment and was gone, and now I know where it was she took off to. She fell right into the arms of a rich motherfucker who wasted no time in making Val his. No wonder I couldn’t find her. She’d already gotten herself married and was sporting a new last name. It fucking cuts me through and through, because I really thought what we had was special. I mean, she didn’t even let me come back to explain.”
Quinn’s mouth is agape, his bowled over look having me burst out with a disbelieving laugh. “Fucking Jerry Springer Show, right?”
“Why didn’t you say anything to one of us?” Hunter asks, his voice serious yet sounding disappointed over the fact I never confided in him.
I shrug at him. “And what would that have accomplished, huh? Nobody could’ve fixed it anyway, so there was no point in letting everyone see my inner demons. Besides, the Diamondback case kept all of us extremely busy, so I didn’t have much time for self-pity. Things got very intense rather quickly with Diamondback, if I remember correctly. It required all of my focus, which was probably a good thing at the time. Didn’t give me much time to cry over my broken heart. I had no choice but to move forward.”
“You never told her you were working undercover?” Quinn asks incredulously, still taken aback.
“Couldn’t do that then,” I tell him, my voice rising, irritated over the fact I’m having to explain myself.
“Why not?” Quinn prods, and his probing questions begin to grate on me.
“We were running with the fucking mafia, Quinn!” I half-shout, as if that would drive my point home, because the consequences of her knowing about me were not sinking into his thick skull. “Which you know by now, dealing with the mafia is not a walk in the park.” My brows snap together as I remind him with a silent and stern look that not too terribly long ago, he had his own run-in with them. “I met her in the middle of that undercover sting, and at the time, Travis and I were on the streets. We were wining and dining the enemy, making deals, and acting like goddamned mobsters ourselves. It was hard enough to duck and dodge some of those criminals, so why would I want to add Valerie into that mix? We were constantly being tailed, and they were good at tailing… damned good. God…” I pause and shudder as I think how spooked we were at times. “Just think about it, will you?”
My voice changes to one of mockery so he can see the fallacy in his thinking. “Hi, I’m Stryker. Nice to meet you, Valerie. I’m sporting two jobs at the moment. One is a cover, and the other has me associating intimately with the mafia. My undercover name is John, and by the way, don’t tell anyone, ‘cause it’s a secret. And while we’re on introductions and getting to know each other, I can’t be seen with you in public, because if my cover is blown, those thugs will be coming after you, so you’re gonna need to watch your back.’’
Travis and Hunter try to suppress a grin, while Quinn holds his hands up in surrender, nodding. “I get it,” he says, but I’m not done. I’m on a roll.
“If I was ever exposed, those criminals would’ve been all over Valerie like white on rice. Every last one of those fuckers was violent and remorseless. I couldn’t have lived with myself if they went after her just to get to me. I did everything I could to keep her hidden from their eyes. It was stressful enough to keep her concealed. I couldn’t imagine her being exposed. All I’d be thinking about is what if shit really went south and they got ahold of her? All it’d take was one evil look from one of those men and she’d tell all. I know h
er, and I couldn’t blame her if she did spill everything she knew. She hadn’t been trained like us to die in the line of fire.”
“I get it, Stryker,” Quinn tells me, wanting to calm me back down, but it’s too late.
“Do you? I’m here to tell you it was goddamned hard living a triple life,” I say with something akin to fury. “When I was home by myself, I was me. When I was working, I was disguised as a hardened criminal, and when I was with Valerie, I was an EMT. I had hopes of coming clean with her once we wrapped up the case, because she was proving to be long-term material, but only when I felt it safe to tell her.”
Travis nods, agreeing. “They were rough motherfuckers, I remember. They weren’t ones you wanted to make a single mistake with. Even a slight misunderstanding could’ve been fatal. They were that paranoid. It was a very intense time,” Travis recalls in a firm voice, siding with me. “I remember a few close calls myself. A couple of times, I was left wondering if Stryker and I were going to make it home some nights, because they were very good at tailing us. They were constantly trying to trip us up, wanting to prove we weren’t who we said we were.” Travis nods again then looks straight at me. “I would’ve done the same thing you did. It wasn’t easy keeping our stories straight as it was. I can’t imagine you juggling that third persona on the side.”
Out of nowhere, the heated conversation vanishes into thin air like magic. All four of us stiffen instantaneously, freezing on the spot while locking startled eyes on one another the very second a low moan of a sexually satisfied woman filters throughout the room. I half thought it was Lexi, playing a joke on us, or one of the dogs howling outside, but when the carnal cry fills Quinn’s computer room for a second time, I know immediately who that sound belonged to, and it shoots right to my groin.
Nobody had been paying attention to the big screen monitor—that is, until now. All of us whip our heads around at the same time to see Valerie’s writhing body all sprawled out on her bed like a porn star. At least she’s still wearing her lacy, baby-doll outfit, and not giving these men a full-on show of her perfect body. My heart becomes lodged in my throat as all of us sit here in a stupor of shock and disbelief of what we’re witnessing.
To top it all off, Valerie then whispers my name over and over as she’s panting through the orgasm she’s trying to give herself. She’s thrusting a vibrating dick into her pussy like I did last night. I’m one motherfucking wide-eyed, gaping, and stunned man.
“Fucking hell,” Hunter gasps, unable to remove his gaze from the scene. I think Quinn is the first one to break the spell of being in a trance and takes action. The screen’s monitor goes immediately blank, along with the sound. Thank fuck for his quick reactions. Travis clears his throat then coughs into the side of his fist as I just sit here staring back at the blank screen in utter shock. I’m not sure if I should be traumatized, appalled, or turned on.
Quinn gets up and squeezes my shoulder, motioning for everyone else to get up, as he orders, “Everyone out.” It would’ve been comical the way everyone was tripping over themselves and bumping into things to get the hell out of the room, but I can’t seem to find any humor in the moment.
Quinn turns around and parks his ass on the side of the table. As he crosses his thick arms over one another, I stare up at him in a daze. “I’m going to let you decide whether or not you want to watch the rest of that. As you already know, the room is soundproof the second I shut the door.” He doesn’t wait for my response. He doesn’t want to know what I decide; he’s a gentleman. When he gets to the door, he turns around, and adds, “But, by the things she was saying, you could most likely gain some valuable insight as to what you might still mean to her.” Which means if she still has feelings for me, I might be able to exploit her, using the knowledge I might gain so I can woo her back into my web of lies again.
CHAPTER 14
~ Stryker ~
Quinn leaves me to myself, and the second the steel door to his recon room clicks shut, all I can hear is my pulse pounding in my ears. I slowly turn back toward the blank screen, my heart beating furiously as I contemplate between what I should do, and what it is I want to do. All I can think of is that she was calling out my name in the throes of passion, not her dead husband’s. I’m not sure what to make of that.
Call me a pervert, or even a bastard; I’m just a man. She just made this personal. I’m the only one who knows what we had between us so many years ago. I turn the monitor and sound back on and sit back, bracing the sides of the armrests with white knuckles. Preparing for what? I don’t know.
Her lips are slightly parted, her breathing labored as she’s laid out on the bed, looking every bit the brown-haired angel I remember. Her nipples are rock hard, protruding against the blue-laced fabric as her finger lightly brushes over one.
I’d like to say my deep breathing was me trying to inhale her scent through the computer screen, but in reality, I’m trying to not get a hard-on under Quinn’s roof. I gape at how she slides the vibrator in and out of her pussy with long, measured strokes. She slips the lace of her top down past her breasts, exposing her hard nipples to me.
I let out a low, tortuous groan, transfixed on wanting nothing more than to suck on her peaked nipples and feel her pebbled flesh slip over my tongue. My mouth goes dry at the thought. Her entire body is flushed, and I realize mine is too, because I feel the beads of sweat beginning to trickle down from my forehead. Running my fingers along my hairline, I wipe away the moisture. My knee bounces up and down with nervous energy as I pray to God this will be over soon.
This show has become serious torture for me, because it seems as if she’s been at it for the last half-hour. One would have thought all this time she’d be racking up the orgasms like a slot machine hitting the jackpot, but I don’t think she’s had even one. She keeps chanting my name, talking dirty to me, even though I’m not there. Telling me how good I feel, as if I were the one driving my dick into her.
Her entire body is slick with sweat; I can see the sheen of all her hard work through the camera lens perfectly. I can also see she got a tattoo at some point within the last six years. It’s on the side of her ribcage, but I can’t make it out, because part of her lacy top is in the way.
And when the fuck did she get so kinky? Her bed is littered with different types of lubes and toys. I cringe, not even wanting to guess where some of them go, or how they’re used. One item has three different attachments on it, reminding me of a fucking Medusa, and I thank God she didn’t demonstrate how that was supposed to be used. I don’t think, however, anything she could do would repulse me, because thus far, I’ve been nothing but turned on watching her play with herself.
After the first ten minutes of getting an eyeful of her many talents, and as I witnessed her building her arousal, I could see her growing frustration, because no matter what she’d try, there was no climax in sight. She curses under her breath several times, then she pulls out the mother of all vibrators. She brings out a twenty-inch beast, having to plug that motherfucker into an outlet to get her some serious juice. I know I’m exaggerating, but not by much. This mammoth dick even has adapters to go on it, and to top it all off, it has a dial on it, as if it can shake the paint off the walls. She’s probably going to have aftershocks. I’ll bet her legs will intermittently shake for days after using that thing. And with as much lube and body fluids as she’s got on board, immersing said dick inside her body, I’m surprised she doesn’t electrocute herself with the machine.
“Fucking hell,” I groan aloud. I drop my face into the palms of my hands. I can’t look at this crazy marathon of sexual frustration in its finest form anymore. My dick is about to burst through my zipper, with or without my help. I grab my throbbing mass of a cock and squeeze the ever-loving shit out of it, willing the blood to go back from where it first came. I squeeze so hard my vision goes cross-eyed. I fight wave after wave of lust as it sweeps through me like a tornado. This is pure insanity. I feel as if we’re both torturing oursel
ves with the need for a release only the other could give.
I will not, under any circumstances, jack off in Quinn’s recon room. I will not unzip my jeans, I will not stroke my dick, and I refuse to come in my pants. Whose bright idea was this for me to watch this anyway? Yeah, I must be a fucking idiot with masochistic tendencies. This is far more than I bargained for. I just thought she’d stuff her pussy with a jackrabbit type of toy, and within a few strokes of rubbing one out, she’d be done. But instead, she’s giving herself a goddamn aerobic workout. I know the secret of how she stays in shape now. I look up from my hands and peak at the screen. She’s writhing all over the bed, her hair a sweaty, tangled mess of sexy, while she thrusts her hips upward into her hand, matching the tortuous and rhythmic pace she’s set for herself.
I can’t do this anymore; it’s all too much. I reach out to shut off the computer when a loud thunk and then a crash is followed by an unsettling scream. It startles me so bad I jolt backward, my head slamming into the back of my chair. “I hate you! I just hate you, Stryker!” she cries out in anger. My eyes bolt open wide, my heart slamming against my ribcage. What the fuck?
She then proceeds to throw all her sex toys off her bed in a fit of rage, and then twists her body around, flopping face-down on the bed while pounding her fists into the mattress over and over again. She smothers her face into her pillow, screaming unintelligible words.
“Why?” She throws her head back, wailing through a distressed gasp. “Why did you have to come back into my life now? Of all the times to see you again, you chose now?”