by J. C. Cliff
“Baby,” I whisper the endearment, “that’s some profound shit right there.”
“It’s all true. I never forgot you,” she confesses. “I’m not even sure a day went by that you didn’t enter my mind in one way or another.”
I thread my fingers through hers and pull her in close, my heart beating faster. “If I have to be honest with myself, I have to say I’ve never stopped loving you either,” I admit. Her eyes flutter closed as if she’s trying to soak my words into her soul, and then she squeezes her lids tightly together as if she’s struggling not to. “Babe?” I prompt.
She shakes herself out of some inner debate she was having and looks up at me. “That’s a pretty bold statement. It’s a lot for me to take in.”
I capture her lips in a soft, gentle kiss, then murmur, “I wouldn’t lie to you, Val.”
“I don’t want to wake up from all this and realize it was just a dream, or worse, find out this was only another game to you.”
“I wouldn’t fuck with your emotions like that,” I say seriously, irritated she would even think such a thing. “I’m not the heartless bastard you once pegged me to be.” I rest my forehead against hers and close my eyes. The lies and deceit of my undercover job of having to investigate her makes me hate myself a little on the inside. All I can hope for is that whatever we have that’s being rekindled will overshadow the deception when the truth finally comes out.
I just pray to God she’s innocent. I’m not sure I could stand another heartache suffered by her hands.
CHAPTER 30
~ Valerie ~
We are both finally coming to terms with the fact that neither of us are willing to share the reasons behind our actions from what happened between us so many years ago. I don’t know why he said and did the things he did, or felt the need to keep me in the dark about having a secret woman on the side, who he claims he wasn’t sleeping with. I’m not sure I can ever forgive him for that and for the way he ruthlessly broke up with me, but one thing is for certain. He left no doubt in my mind that we were so irrefutably over back then.
He told me in front of an entire restaurant that I was merely a fling, one that had outlasted its time, and how stupid I was to have fallen for all his seduction, because all that time, I was just a convenient fuck to him. He said so much more than that, and if I dwell on it for too long, I will tear up and then grow angry all over again. Since being with him for the past few days straight, I’ve come to know the cycle now. I can even recall almost everything he said, verbatim.
He truly left me a damaged woman until Graham came along, and even then, it took a lot of time for me to work through the emotional aftermath of Stryker’s heartless dismissal of me. He had me questioning my own self-worth, something Graham had immediately picked up on. Graham truly was a Godsend, because not only did he glue the broken pieces of me back together, but I think he made me stronger. True, Graham was definitely no Stryker, but he loved me with an unconditional fierceness.
If all the things Stryker said earlier were true—that he’s willing to push aside the questions he has about my past and give me the benefit of the doubt—I should be able to do the same for him.
We both have unresolved anger, bitterness, and confusion toward the other, yet we’re connected in a way that’s undeniable. Even though it’s going to be difficult to trust him again, I don’t think either of us could walk away from the other if we tried. I owe it to both of us to work through this and see where it can lead. I’m tired of not living. Actually, I think I’m more tired of living in denial over not wanting him, constantly pushing him away, when all I really want to do is never let him go.
After our discussion behind the clinic, the rest of the day seemed to drag on, even though we were nonstop busy. It was hard to finish up the afternoon patients, because all I wanted to think about was the milestone Stryker and I just reached.
It wasn’t until we climbed onto our bus to come back to camp that I had time to reflect over everything. Stryker held me in his arms the entire way as he slept. I guess I didn’t realize how stressful all this has been for him too.
Back in my little room now, I’m waiting for the women’s turn with the showers. We’ve been alternating shower times between the genders, because there is only one shower-room with eight stalls. I’m in the midst of gathering my toiletries, when I hear the door to our room open behind me. The door hinges squeak out in a rusty pitch, because they’ve probably never seen a drop of oil.
I turn around, my arms full of shampoo, soap, and towels, and watch Stryker walk in. His gaze never leaves mine as he closes the door behind him. He didn’t change into his clothes in the locker-room. He still has his towel wrapped around him, sitting low on his trim waist. His hair is wet, and the tattoo on his chest glistens against his damp skin. Instinctively, I lick my lips, because my mouth has gone dry at the sight of him.
His eyes narrow on mine as if me licking my lips had stirred a hunger within him, but he already had that look the second he entered the room. Slowly, like a predator, he begins to saunter his way toward me in a sexy swagger that belongs only to him.
“Stryker,” I warn, my stomach dipping deliciously low. I drop my shower supplies onto the bed then take a few steps backward, but it doesn’t stop his advance. I hold my thin bathrobe tightly around my body like a cocoon, hoping the closed off gesture will ward him off. “Stryker,” I warn again, but less forceful this time as he closes the distance. “What are you up to?”
He says nothing, but his advance on me says it all. He stops before me, his alpha magnetism and fresh, soapy scent has me drawing in a shaky breath. The look in his eyes… primal. His gaze stays fixed on mine as he blindly reaches out, his strong fingers wrapping themselves over my hand. Wordlessly and slowly, he begins peeling my fingers off the bathrobe one-by-one.
My heart begins to beat erratically, his silent intent stirring a wave of lust low in my belly. He’s going to see my tattoo for the first time, and that makes me nervous. Even though my tattoo is on my ribcage under my left arm, making it harder to notice, it’ll be the first thing he picks up on.
"Stryker," I whisper breathlessly he works my robe off, gently pushing it over my shoulders. “No, stop." I clamp my arms tightly against my sides to keep him from slipping the bathrobe all the way off. I look up into his eyes, and when I do, a shiver rolls through me, and I immediately lose track of why it is I’m fighting him in the first place.
“Don’t stop this, darlin’. We are far overdue.” He gives me that mischievous grin that always makes me swoon. His hand sweeps lightly through my hair, making my entire body go tingly. He knows what effect he’s having on me, because his grin grows wider. “Tell me to stop,” he challenges in a low, gravely voice. He’s got me so turned inside out I’m tongue-tied. He leans down and brushes his lips oh-so-softly over mine, his tenderness so damn endearing I whimper.
His palm cups underneath my jawline so he can tilt my head back, and then he deepens the kiss with the stroke of his tongue. This kiss is different than all the other ones; it’s reverent and sweet-tempered. My hands find the hard planes of his chest, and I melt into him. His kiss is like a drug, making me dizzier by the second. I’m forced to close my eyes and hang on for the ride.
His breathing picks up, which is sexy as hell, his tongue strong and forceful inside my mouth as he pushes the cotton bathrobe slowly down my arms. I release my hands from his chest, letting the robe finally slip off me and drop onto the floor without losing his delicious kiss.
He wastes no time as he slips his fingers through my wetness then lets out a deep, needy groan. “Say you will.”
I pull back to look up at him, and lick my swollen lips, thinking second thoughts be damned. I’m scared of giving my heart to him, I’m afraid of the fallout. “I haven't shaven down there in days,” I whisper the excuse in vain, as if that would actually deter him, “and I haven't taken a shower yet, either.”
"So?" he asks gruffly. "You think I give a shit abou
t a little bit of hair? A woman should have hair down here," he says, as he spreads open my folds. I gasp as he stretches me open then slips his finger inside me deep and hard.
“Stryker,” I choke out, “I’m sweaty.”
He watches my face as he gives me pleasure, and that knowing grin of his surfaces again, as he says, “I ain’t scared of a little sweat. In fact, it’s gonna get a whole lot hotter in here in a minute, so what’s the point?”
Without warning, he slams his mouth over mine, plunging his tongue in and licking, tasting, and devouring me. Two fingers thrust deep inside me, and then I find myself stumbling forward on my tippy-toes.
As I’m impaled on his fingers, he uses his strength to pull me forward by my pussy, my fingers digging into his shoulders to keep my balance as he guides me blindly toward the bed. Gawd al-fucking-mighty, the pressure against my g-spot is insanely intense as he tugs me in the direction he wants me to go. I have no choice but to follow. Pure dominance seeps from his every pore as he takes charge. He’s hungry with lust.
I can't think past this moment, or what we’re about to do, or what it’ll mean. Everything about him is consuming me, and all I know is he’s got me on fire, and I need more. I thread my fingers through his short hair, needing to pull him against my mouth, wanting to fuse us together. I’ve never been able to resist him, not even back at the Local Edge after all those years.
Overcome with desire, he murmurs between kisses, “That's what I'm talking about." It’s not going to take much to set me off at this point. Of course, it never took much for Stryker to make me come. He was right when he said the one thing we were never short on was chemistry.
His fingers quickly disappear from my sex then he throws me onto the twin-sized bed as if he can’t wait another second to take me. It’s a blur of fast-forward motion watching him remove his towel just before he climbs over me. He settles his thickness between my legs, the tip of his cock brushing along the inside of my thigh. My sex clenches with need. The springs on the bed screech, but neither of us care.
The weight of his chest settles over my bare breasts, his forehead coming to rest against mine. His voice comes out thick and raspy. “I wanna be inside you so bad. I want you to be mine again. Only mine.”
I want that too, but I can’t say the words. They’re lodged in my throat. He reaches down between us and wraps his hand around his thick length. I spread my legs open wide in invitation, needing him to consume me. He doesn’t enter me, but the tip of his crown runs back and forth through my slick folds.
I suck in a sharp breath.
"You hear that, babe?" he prompts, when the only noise filling the room is his slick dick making sounds against my own juices. "You want me. You can’t deny it anymore. And, by God, you're going to get me, and I don't just mean physically."
He drags my wetness up to my clit and adds pressure with the crown of his cock. “Stryker,” I moan. I’m about to come. My hips move with his, hoping to catch the exact angle I need to get him to slip inside me.
My inner walls clamp down on nothing, and he senses my need. I’m about to explode, and he knows it, because he pulls away from my clit. I let out a distressed whimper.
"Did you hear me?” he half growls. Unable to remember what he said, I nod just for the sake of pacifying him, but that’s not good enough for him. “What’ll it be, Val?”
I open my eyes to look him at him, and when I do, I almost cry. He’s so goddamn beautiful, and his bright eyes seem to hold nothing but unspoken promises of love. My emotions are getting the better of me, but I manage to choke out, “Yes, please.”
“Yes, please, what?”
My eyes flutter closed. He’s going to make me say the words. I know it.
He settles his thick head at my opening again and slips inside my walls less than an inch, driving me wild. “Stryker,” I cry out. “Take me, fuck me, just please…!” Oh, dear Jesus, help me, but he's going to break me all over again.
“This doesn’t end as soon as we begin. You hear me?” His voice is very sobering. His fingers dig into my hips to keep me from forcing his cock inside the very place I’m dying for him to be.
“Yes, I hear you," I whisper.
My core is literally throbbing between my legs. His nose brushes against mine, his voice full of heated desire. “You hear me, but I don't think you’re comprehending.”
I’m a wanton mess. I need to relieve pressure with anywhere my body can find contact with his. I arch my back, pushing my nipples against his bare chest. I try to buck my hips against his firm grip again, but fail. He ignores the fact my body is on fire for him, and somehow he’s able to the exhibit self-restraint of a Monk.
“I’m not letting you go again… ever. And you are not going to turn your back and walk away from us. You got that?” he asks and demands all in the same breath.
“Yes,” I cry out in delirium. “Never again, I promise.”
CHAPTER 31
~ Stryker ~
“My God,” she moans, her voice full of conviction. “I swear to God it feels like it’s going to be our first time.” She returns my sober and wide-eyed stare, both of us out of breath, and it’s not from exertion. It’s from understanding just how profound this moment is actually going to be.
“Consider this our first time, because this go-round, everything is going to be different. Nothing is going to tear us apart ever again.”
“Don't make promises you can't keep, Stryker,” she whispers warily, her lower lip trembling. “Just because we’re in the heat of the moment, don’t….” Her voice catches as if she might cry. She can’t finish her sentence, and my gut twists in a knot. Even after all these years, she stills wears the scars I gave her. I had cut her deep, very deep, but this time, I will not only fix the broken past, I will keep it from ever happening again.
My dick pulses, not letting me forget he’s still there, ready, more than willing, and impatiently waiting. I'm only one thrust away from slipping myself deep inside her wet and overheated pussy. We both want this, want each other, but no matter how hard my dick is right now, I have to set the record straight.
I set my elbows on either side of her shoulders and rest my weight on them as I cradle her cheeks in the palms of my hands. My thumb automatically wipes away a stray tear. “Hey, darlin’,” I softly murmur, “none of that. I can’t be any more serious than when I say I won’t let anything come between us ever again.” I pause to gauge her reaction, but there is none. She’s soaking in my words like a sponge. “I promise you, not even the devil himself will be able to separate us.”
She doesn't look like she believes me, and her words tell me so. “If you only knew my sins, Stryker, you wouldn't be saying that.” Her head slightly shakes from side to side as if she's struggling with her own demons. “Sometimes I feel like I'm the devil himself, not worthy of anything good, especially you.”
My brows come together as I process what the hell she might mean by that. I’m shocked she would say such a thing about herself, but then again, the FBI is having us investigate her. Is she truly involved in something? I don’t believe she is, but if she is, could her statement mean she might be trying to right her wrongs?
“We all have a little devil on our shoulder, Val,” I reason. “You are worthy of good things, and I promise you, right here, right now, you have all of me, all of my heart. This isn’t about the heat of the moment. It’s about me not squandering away our time anymore. I'm gonna tell you every damn day of your life just how much we belong together.”
I caress her cheekbone with a light touch, her eyes shimmering with emotion. I lean down and tenderly kiss her soft and slightly parted lips, then whisper over them, "I can assure you, you've got all of me, baby. You always did. I’ve never stopped loving you."
"Oh God, Stryker, you're ripping my heart in two."
A slow grin spreads over my lips as I look upon her with complete adoration. “No, Valerie, I’m not tearing anything apart. I’m about to make us one.” With those
words, my hips slowly thrust forward, my cock slipping past her entrance and sliding through her tight heat until I can’t go any farther.
Valerie lets out a gasp then her face flushes with ecstasy. A full-body shiver rolls through me. She feels like heaven, and I already know I’m not going to last long.
“Just hold on for the ride, baby. Don't fight what’s between us anymore.”
“All right,” she whispers, as she wraps her sexy legs around my waist, trapping me in.
“I’m about to make you mine,” I rasp. I withdraw myself from her pussy then leisurely slide forward again. I do this over and over until I have a rhythm that feels like we’re making love in slow motion, because I want to savor every second of this moment. I cup her cheek in one hand and kiss her tenderly.
“Look at me, darlin’.” She can barely keep her eyes open, but she does it. I force myself as deep as I can go, until I bottom out then swivel my hips. She’s gasping for air, trying hard to focus on my gaze, but is having a hard time because she’s close to climaxing.
My pelvis grinds against her clit each time I drive my length into her slick heat. I want this connection with her. I want her to know it’s me, and not a ghost she’s with. I’m not fucking her; I’m making love to her, and she knows it. “So fucking sweet,” I murmur.
I roll my hips into her as she cries out my name, coming apart underneath me. Her muscles contract around my dick, and I lose it. My balls tighten and my spine tingles as hot cum shoots into her depths.
“Stryker,” she calls out, searching for my lips in desperation as she rides out her release. We’re both sweaty, and neither one of us seemed to have lasted but five damn minutes, but this is only round one.
Catching my breath, I lean my forehead against hers and push aside the stray hairs that got in her face. Her bright eyes hold so much emotion I can’t even begin to process what she’s thinking.