by Megan Derr
His vision whited out for a moment, but when it had cleared, Sariah had stilled. She was still breathing, but unconscious and she was breathing poorly. Asa reached out with one arm, pulling Eli close and hugging her, not letting go of Sariah's arm as Eli hiccupped out tears, clinging to his shirt.
Asa shut his eyes, fighting his own tears. He couldn’t do it. He couldn't fix her and she was going to die, and then what would he do?
He had no more energy. Even if he did find a spell at this point that would work, he couldn't cast it. Asa sank down, pulling Eli with him. He woodenly murmured half-hearted words of comfort, holding her close until she finally fell asleep curled up on his lap.
Asa wasn't sure how long he sat there, listening to Sariah's labored breathing and Eli's sleepy snuffles. Eventually he stood, hefting Eli up and settling her against Sariah's side. He covered her with the blanket from the end of the bed and tried not to think that it might be the last time that Eli slept next to her mother.
Asa stood there for another few minutes, watching them. He didn't know what to do now. He wasn't going to make class—not that he'd leave Sariah for that long anyway. He could try to continue his search for a spell that would heal Sariah, but that was rather pointless now, wasn't it?
Before Asa could figure out what to do, someone knocked loudly on the front door. Eli stirred, but thankfully didn't wake. Sariah didn't even stir. Asa hesitated, but finally turned, leaving the room slowly. He opened the door slowly, running a hand through his hair as he frowned at Cos.
Cos looked incredibly nervous, like he thought he wasn't supposed to be here.
"What are you doing here?" Asa blurted out, startled. Cos flushed, but he didn't look away.
"You, um, you didn't show up for class," Cos said quietly, no accusation at all in his voice.
"I—" Asa sagged, biting back the sob that threatened to tear from his throat. Cos winced, obviously hesitating before stepping forward and carefully embracing him. It was awkward, but Asa didn't care—it was more kindness than he could take, and too his horror, he started to cry.
Cos thankfully didn't say a word, just stepped inside and quietly shut the door behind him when Asa pulled back. Asa hesitated, but finally just headed back to his bedroom, where Sariah was. Cos followed silently, and Asa was well-aware how messy the apartment was, but he really couldn’t bring himself to care.
Sariah was still breathing raggedly and Asa blinked back fresh tears because he didn't know how long he'd bought her, but it was nowhere near long enough. Eli was still sleeping, thankfully, and Asa fought against a fresh wave of helplessness.
"I want to help," Cos said, quiet and calm. "Please."
"It's too dangerous," Asa said hollowly. "I—and I can't—I have no energy left."
"You can take some from me," Cos said. He sounded so damn sure and Sariah probably wouldn't last the night and Asa was going to regret this, he knew it, but what else could he do?
"I—" Asa started, shaking his head. He buried his face in his hands for a moment. Was he really going to do this? "Okay."
"It will be fine," Cos said, sounding completely assured of it, and Asa couldn't bring himself to say anything to the contrary.
"Take Eli's bed," Asa said, forcing his mind to work. Cos would be in the trance for a while, if it worked—and Asa wasn't going to think about what happened if it didn't. "Will anyone miss you? I can—I don't know how long it will take, but you'll be in a trance for a while."
"Roark won't be back for a month?" Cos said, biting his lip briefly. "I can write him a letter, to tell him, in case it takes longer."
"Okay," Asa said, hesitating for a moment before shaking himself out of it. "Stay here, I'll go find the spell book and stationary."
Cos nodded, moving to sit down on Eli's bed. He looked nervous—but also stubborn. Asa left the room quickly, focusing on the tasks of finding pen and paper and retrieving the spell book. The stationary set was the harder thing to find—the spell book had been sitting on the tiny kitchen table for the last few weeks.
Returning to Sariah's room, Asa was surprised to find Eli awake and chattering at Cos like she woke up every day to find strangers in her bedroom.
Cos was talking to her quietly, a faint smile on his face as he carefully weaved a small, stuffed rabbit in the air without a single spell word. The rabbit formed fully after a moment, falling from the air to land in Eli's lap.
"Say 'thank you,' Eli," Asa said quietly from the doorway. Cos glanced up, looking faintly guilty, but then Eli turned and beamed at him, clutching her new stuffed toy close.
"Thank you," she said dutifully, showing off the gap her missing front tooth had left.
"You're welcome," Cos said, smiling reassuringly at her. Asa smiled a little too, pleased that Eli could still smile…but it felt strained and so he let it fade away. Crossing the room, he handed Cos the paper and pen, moving over to Sariah's bed. He sat down next to Eli, flipping the book open to the Sleeping Beauty spell and reading through it for the hundredth time.
It was really simple to cast. He wouldn't need to borrow much energy from Cos to cast it.
"There," Cos said, setting the folded letter on the tiny bedside table, on top of the tattered children's books Eli owned. "Um, you probably shouldn't tell Bralin."
"Why not?" Asa asked, but that was easy to answer. Bralin had only spoken to Asa in the first place because he'd been trying to protect Cos. "Is he going to come looking for you?"
"He's supposed to keep an eye on me," Cos said, flushing. He shrugged, looking down at his lap briefly before meeting Asa's eyes again. "But I told him not to. He doesn't know—I don't know if he'll come looking here? He shouldn't know where to find me."
"Okay," Asa said slowly, frowning a little. Bralin was supposed to be keeping Cos out of trouble, only Cos had probably had a fight with him about it—even if it was hard to picture Cos yelling or upset about something enough to yell—and Cos was about to disappear for a while without telling him why or where.
"Write him a note too?" Asa suggested. "Don't say anything specific, but maybe just tell him not to worry?"
Cos hesitated, but finally nodded, pulling out a fresh sheet of paper.
"I can get it to him without him finding out where it came from," Asa said, running a hand through his tangled curls absently. He turned to check on Sariah as Cos wrote, frowning worriedly. She was still breathing erratically, but at least it didn't seem to be getting any worse for the moment.
Eli clambered off the bed, patting Asa's knee awkwardly with the hand she wasn't using to cuddle her rabbit close, then crossed the room and clambered up on the bed next to Cos.
"Now what?" Cos asked, giving Eli an absent smile as she settled in next to him. The note to Bralin was obviously shorter, but Asa didn't comment. Cos set it on top of the letter for Roark, turning back to Asa expectantly.
"Are you sure you want to do this?" Asa asked, fingering the edges of the book. Cos nodded, looking determined.
"I do," he said, hesitating as though he wanted to say something more, but in the end he just shrugged.
"Drop your shields, then," Asa said quietly, ignoring the way his stomach flipped. Eli looked curious, but she kept quiet, staring at Cos with wide, adoring eyes. Cos nodded again, ducking his head to concentrate. The blocking shields Asa had taught him fell away, and he looked up, giving Asa an expectant look.
"You'll be asleep until I wake you," Asa said slowly, staring at the page in front of him. "You won't feel anything, so you won't be in pain. You won't need to eat or drink, as your magic will sustain you and Sariah until you wake."
"Okay," Cos said, leaning closer to Eli. He murmured something to her, giving her a small push. She clambered off the bed quickly, returning to Asa's side, where she drooped tiredly against him. Cos hesitated another moment, before finally laying back, carefully arranging the pillow under his head.
"Ready?" Asa asked, pushing all thoughts of what he was about to do out of his head. Cos nodded, biting
his lip briefly before nodding again. Asa hesitated still, glancing down at the book. He couldn't do this, could he? What if—
"Asa," Cos said, his voice calm and soothing, "It's okay. Do it."
Asa nodded, and before he could talk himself out of it, started reading the Sleeping Beauty spell slowly and carefully. Cos's eyes slipped closed, and behind Asa, Sariah's breathing evened out. Asa finished the spell quietly, then buried his face in his hands, barely aware of Eli clinging to him as he struggled not to think too much about what he'd just done.
*
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*
Part Four
Bralin was not having a good day. Well, a good few weeks, more like. He'd lost Cos, for starters, then he'd gotten a short, cryptic note that had simply told him not to worry. That was fine, Bralin could deal with that; he and Cos hadn't exactly been getting along well ever since Bralin had let it slip that he was looking after Cos by Roark's request.
Except that, less than a day after receiving Cos's cryptic note, Roark had written to say he'd be back a few weeks sooner than he'd originally anticipated. Bralin had no idea where Cos was and was having no luck trying to find him, and Roark was going to kill him. Especially since Cos had taken off before he'd learned that Roark was coming home early, and probably wouldn't show up again until after he thought Roark was home.
As if that wasn't enough, Bralin had botched a curse breaking and been suspended for a week without pay, he'd nearly burned down his house when the stupid oven he'd been complaining about for weeks had helpfully fallen apart after he'd lit it, and he'd completely missed his last opportunity to talk to Asa.
Pathetically, he found the last bit most frustrating. He could deal with Roark, his boss, and his landlord, but he couldn't track down Asa without appearing overzealous and desperate. He'd meant to corner him after his last class, but they'd adjourned early or Bralin had run late and there'd been no finding him since—he wasn't in the library, there were no more intro courses scheduled for the time being, and Bralin didn't know where else to look.
He wanted to find Asa more than he wanted to find Cos, which was stupid, especially since Roark really would kill him if something bad had happened to Cos. But something about the last time he'd talked to Asa at the library was bothering him, and it was much more interesting trying to puzzle that out than it was trying to figure out where Cos had holed up after their short, stupid argument.
It wasn't how attracted he was to Asa—that was the easy part, even if he was pretty sure that Asa didn't return his interest. In fact, he was quite sure that Asa didn't like him much at all. That was even more disheartening than not being able to find him since they'd spoken last.
Bralin frowned as he wandered down the hallway towards the main administrative offices of the university. He was half-tempted to bribe the secretaries to find out where Asa lived. He really should've just bitten the bullet the last time he'd seen Asa and asked him to dinner then, but Bralin hadn't wanted a "no" and that was probably all the answer he would've gotten.
Resolving not to hesitate the next time he saw Asa, Bralin opened the door to the offices—only to run right into someone. Automatically reaching out to steady the person, Bralin couldn't help but grin, startled but pleased to see Asa's dark curls.
"Sorry," Asa muttered, glancing up. His cheeks were flushed, and Bralin's smile slipped away because Asa looked terrible. He was pale, behind the embarrassed flush, and looked like he hadn't slept or eaten since Bralin had last seen him.
Asa gave him an obviously forced smile, running his free hand through his tangled mass of curls. His other hand was occupied in holding a small assortment of books and the portfolio he always seemed to be carrying with him everywhere.
"Sorry," Asa repeated with a wince, his hand dropping back down to his side. "I wasn't paying any attention—"
"Don't worry about it," Bralin said, finally recovering himself. Stepping back, he let Asa out into the hallway, letting the door to the administrative offices shut. Asa gave him a curious look, but turned away, starting down the hallway towards the nearest exit.
"Hey, wait a minute," Bralin said, moving quickly to catch up to Asa. He reached out, snagging Asa's arm and tugging him into turning around to face him.
"What?" Asa asked, wrinkling his nose in confusion.
"Are you all right?" Bralin asked worriedly, frowning at Asa in concern. "You don't look so—" Bralin cut off; telling Asa that he looked horrible probably wasn't the greatest lead-up to asking him out to dinner.
"I'm fine," Asa said, so obviously lying that Bralin was tempted to call him on it. But that probably wouldn't help his chances any either.
"Okay," Bralin said after a minute, and he sounded completely insincere, but it was too late to take it back now. "Look, I was wondering… would you like to get together some time? For dinner? I can cook."
Asa blinked at him a few times, looking startled, before saying slowly, "I would."
Bralin winced, because that sounded like the beginning of a refusal.
"Um, but I don't—I don't really have the free time right now. My sister is sick—" Asa looked down at his books briefly before meeting Bralin's eyes again. "—very sick. I can't leave her alone for long."
"Oh," Bralin said, a little dumbfounded. That was actually a really good excuse, and it explained why Asa looked so worn out and worried. "I'm sorry to hear that. Is she—" Bralin hesitated, searching for a tactful way to ask if she would get better.
"She'll survive," Asa said quietly, not looking any less worried or tense about it. "But I don't know how long it will take for her to recover."
"I can wait," Bralin said easily, much happier to know there was a reason Asa had disappeared. Reaching out without thinking, Bralin gently cupped Asa's face with one hand, pleased when Asa didn't move away, just shut his eyes and sighed quietly. "As long as you promise to come find me when she's better."
"I will," Asa said, opening his eyes and giving Bralin a ghost of a smile. "I need to get back."
"All right," Bralin said, content to let Asa slip away this time, with the promise of a future meeting. "See you around, Asa."
"See you," Asa said, turning away from Bralin and heading back down the hallway. Bralin watched him go, smiling stupidly—really stupidly, since he hadn't gotten any definite promises from Asa.
Asa was halfway down the hallway before Bralin remembered the other thing he'd wanted to ask.
"Hey, Asa," Bralin called, jogging down the hallway to catch up to him. Asa hesitated, then turned back towards him, obviously confused. "Just one quick thing, I promise."
"Yes?" Asa asked, furrowing his brow cutely. Bralin was distracted by that for a second—he'd never seen that expression on Asa before, and he quite liked it—before remembering himself.
"Just wondered if you'd seen Cos," Bralin said sheepishly. "I'm supposed to be keeping an eye on him for Roark, except he slipped away a few days ago and I haven't seen him since."
Asa hesitated, giving him an indecipherable look that vanished as quickly as it had appeared. "I haven't."
"Ah," Bralin said, giving him a quick, bright smile despite the fact that Asa was being as truthful as he'd been when he'd said he was fine. Which was to say, not at all. He knew something—but Bralin wasn't going to push. He trusted that Asa wouldn't let any harm to Cos. "Well, thank you anyway. Let me know if you do hear from him?"
"Sure," Asa agreed, giving him a half-smile before heading away again.
Bralin let him go, his mind much more at ease now. He had a future, eventual date with Asa and a lead for tracking down Cos if Roark showed up before Cos gave up and came back himself. Whistling cheerfully, Bralin turned back towards the university's administrative offices to continue his errands.
*~*~*
Bralin scowled at Roark, wondering who in the world he'd managed to piss off to deserve this. Though, given his luck lately, he really shouldn't have trusted that things would go well after he'd gotten Asa to agree to dinner in the
future.
His first clue had been when he'd gone to turn in his paperwork to the university's administrative offices, only to find out that the papers were in the wrong order. He'd had to reorganize it all under the watchful eye of a secretary who bore a close resemblance to a harpy—in demeanor and face, which had been frightening to behold.
Then he'd returned home to find a notice from the landlord that Bralin had to pay for the damages caused by the fire, never mind that it had been the faulty oven Bralin had complained about a number of times that had caused the damage.
Finally, just as he'd gone to intimidate the man into rethinking that idea, he'd run straight into Roark.
"You'd better know where he is, Bralin," Roark said menacingly, in lieu of a greeting. He looked ragged and travel-worn, but he wasn't carrying anything but his sword and a fresh, pink scar across his left cheek, so he'd already been home.
"Hello to you too," Bralin said easily falling into the cheerful tone of voice that would annoy Roark the best. "It's nice to see you, it's been ages. Would you like to come in?"
"Bralin," Roark said slowly, stretching his two-syllable name into four. "It's been nearly two months—"
"A month and a half," Bralin corrected, stepping back into the foyer of his tiny, rented house to let Roark in. Roark shot him a dirty look, grudgingly entering.
"It's been nearly two months," Roark repeated, giving Bralin a look that dared him to correct Roark again. "And all I want to do is see Cos, because he doesn't write and you're—you lost him, didn't you? Where is he, Bralin?"
"You can't get mad at me," Bralin said, wisely moving to put some furniture between Roark and himself. Roark narrowed his eyes, deliberately putting his hand on the hilt of his sword.
"Where," Roark said, deadly quiet, and Bralin winced.