Galaxy looked to her right and saw a rather scrawny-looking black boy sitting at the desk next to her, his short, dark hair somewhat messy. A backpack sat in the compartment under his desk, but Galaxy's eyes were focused more on the boy's young yet familiar-looking face.
“Space?” said Galaxy, keeping her voice low so the teacher wouldn't hear. “Why are you a teenager?”
Space tilted his head to the side. He glanced at his casual red t-shirt and jeans. “What do you mean? Why wouldn't I be a teenager? If I wasn't a teenager, why would I be in this boring class listening to Mr. Columbus drone on and on about Einstein?”
“Mr. Columbus?” said Galaxy. “I don't remember having a teacher named Mr. Columbus.”
Space chuckled, but then immediately shut up and looked at the teacher. The teacher did not seem to notice, however, because he was still writing on the holo-board behind him and was now saying something about the myths surrounding Einstein's life, though Galaxy paid no attention to that.
“Good joke,” said Space, flashing her a smile. “But Mr. Columbus has been our science teacher for a year now. Weren't you paying attention?”
Galaxy did not know what to say to that. While she did not like to remember her high school years, she remembered her teachers well enough and not a single one of them had been named Mr. Columbus. Yet Space was insisting that Mr. Columbus had been their science teacher for a year and there was no way that Galaxy could forget about a teacher she had for a year.
Now that I think about it, why is Space in the same school as me? Galaxy thought. The two of us didn't even know about each other until we were both full-grown adults who had been out of school for years. Something's not right here.
“Uh, Galaxy?” said Space, waving his hand in front of her face. “Earth to Galaxy? Are you there?”
Galaxy shook her head to regain her senses. “Yes, I am. But I don't understand. Why am I here?”
Space stared at her blankly. “Um, because your parents said so?”
“No,” said Galaxy, shaking her head. She glanced in the direction of the teacher, but he still wasn't looking at the class, and her fellow classmates did not seem to care much about Space and her, either. “I mean, why are any of us here? You and I should be adults, not teenagers.”
“Adults?” said Space. He almost chuckled, but then stopped and looked at Mr. Columbus with dread again. “Why would you say that?”
“Because we are,” said Galaxy. She pointed at herself and then at Space. “You and I are actually supposed to be space explorers on our own starship called the Adventure. We even have a robotic assistant, Sparky, to help us on all of the amazing and exciting adventures we go on. You remember that, don't you?”
Space continued to stare at her with a blank stare. “Um—”
“Mr. Jason Space!” said the teacher's familiar masculine voice from the other end. “Miss Helena Galaxy! Are you two speaking in class without my permission? Again?”
Galaxy and Space looked at the teacher, who was now facing the class. Galaxy groaned as soon as she saw the teacher's face, which she recognized more than she'd like to admit.
It was the square-jawed face of David Columbus, also known as Doctor Discovery. He had ditched his skintight spacesuit for a more conservative sweater vest and slacks, but there was no mistaking the 'science teacher' for anyone else. He was currently glaring at Galaxy and Space with the same stern disapproval that Galaxy had once incurred from one of her actual teachers, a middle-aged man named Mr. Yuan, but somehow Doctor Discovery seemed far more angry than Mr. Yuan had ever been.
“Doctor Discovery?” said Galaxy, before she could catch herself. “What are you—”
“Doctor Discovery?” said Doctor Discovery. He tilted his head in confusion. “Who is that?”
“Ooh, I know who that is!” said Space. He pulled his backpack out from under his desk and, rummaging through it, pulled out an old-fashioned paper comic book. “This is Doctor Discovery, Man of Science! He's my favorite superhero!”
Space held up the comic for Galaxy to see. The figure on the cover—who had a similar build to the actual Doctor Discovery, although he wore an iron mask like a knight's helmet and carried a sword and shield for some reason—was posed fighting off some kind of demonic cow under the words 'CAN DOCTOR DISCOVERY, MAN OF SCIENCE, DEFEAT THE COW DEVIL? OR IS EARTH DOOMED TO AN ETERNAL BOVINE HELL?'
“Mr. Space, what did I say about no comic books in class?” said Mr. Columbus.
Space gulped and said, “Oh, I'm sorry Mr. Columbus, I—”
“Detention, both of you!” said Mr. Columbus, pointing at Galaxy and Space with his long pointing stick. “For speaking in class and bringing comic books in here without my permission!”
“Detention?” said Galaxy. “Hey, I'm a grown woman. What the hell are you talking about, putting me in detention?”
“Miss Galaxy, sixteen-years-old is hardly what I'd call 'grown,'” said Mr. Columbus, shaking his head in disapproval. “You two will stay after school to clean up the classroom all by yourselves. In the mean, I will write up reports to send to your parents so they can discipline you at home later however they see fit.”
“My parents?” said Galaxy. “But—”
“No buts,” said Mr. Columbus, holding up his pointing stick to silence her. “Or else I will extend both of your detentions for a whole month.”
“A whole month?” said Galaxy in disbelief. “For speaking out of turn and bringing in comic books without your permission?”
“Do not tempt me, Miss Galaxy,” said Mr. Columbus, waving his pointing stick at her threateningly. “Or I will extend it to two months.”
Galaxy was prepared to argue all day and night with this idiot, but she was still practical-minded enough to know that she was indeed a teenage girl in high school—as illogical and bizarre as that might have been—and was therefore under the authority of the teachers and adults who worked here. She was absolutely certain that she was still an adult, that there was some rational explanation for all of this, but until she could figure out exactly what that rational explanation was, she would have to play her part for now.
It didn't help that most of the other students were also staring at her and Space like they were interested in seeing Galaxy get smacked down by Mr. Columbus. A few—notably a couple of rich, snobby-looking girls who reminded her of the kind of girls she avoided during her high school years—smirked at her, as if they were glad that she had gotten into trouble for some reason.
With great reluctance, Galaxy nodded and said, “Yes, Mr. Columbus. Sorry for arguing with you. My temper gets the best of me sometimes. I won't argue the point with you anymore.”
Mr. Columbus raised his nose in the air. “Good. Now let us return to our study of Einstein and his theory of relativity, as your breaking of the classroom rules has already caused us to waste precious time as is.”
-
When the school let out for the day (as it turned out, Mr. Columbus's science class was the last class of the day), Galaxy and Space were left behind to clean up the classroom as per their detention. Mr. Columbus was supposed to supervise them, but he told them he was going to use the bathroom but would be back soon and that he expected the entire classroom to be sparkling clean by the time he returned.
That job was easier said than done, because as it turned out, a classroom full of thirty or so teenagers was hardly the most hygienic place. Galaxy found thick wads of gum—like the cocoons of giant alien moths—stuck in the desks, chewed-on pencils, books and papers that were not in their place, and tons of lewd jokes and doodles written directly on the desks themselves and which were almost impossible to scrub off even with soap and water. The work was so hard that Galaxy wondered if this counted as child labor or not.
Then again, it wasn't like Galaxy was actually trying to clean the place. She was still puzzling over the fact that she and Space were apparently teenagers in high school again, as if their entire adult lives and adventures had never even happened. Space didn
't seem quite as distracted by it as she was. Instead, he was focused on scrapping off the thick gum wads under the desks with a spatula that Mr. Columbus had given him with the express purpose of scraping off large wads of gum from the undersides of desks.
Standing up and wiping the sweat off of her forehead, Galaxy looked down at Space, who was lying on his back under one of the desks trying to remove a particularly stubborn wad of gum, and said, “So you really don't remember your adult life?”
Space stopped trying to remove the wad and looked at her in confusion. “What do you mean? Are you talking about that starship thing again? We really shouldn't be talking, you know. Mr. Columbus will be back any minute and when he sees that the classroom isn't sparkling—”
“I, frankly, don't care what Mr. Columbus thinks,” said Galaxy. “What I care about is finding out why I apparently remember our adult lives and you don't.”
“Maybe because we aren't adults yet?” said Space. “I mean, it sounds like to me you just made up a really weird story in your head. That's kind of weird, though, because you've never seemed like that kind of girl to me.”
“What do you mean?” said Galaxy, leaning on one of the desks.
“Well, you're always … so … practical,” said Space as he put more effort into removing the dried gum. “You're usually an A student, whereas I am pretty much a C-. And you never talk back to the teachers, either. In fact, most of the other kids think of you as a teacher's pet.”
Galaxy cringed. Memories of her actual high school years—not this bizarre illusion or whatever it was—flooded her memory as she remembered the way that her peers used to call her a 'teacher's pet' (and much, much worse). Again, it had been a long time since she had thought about that, but now that she did, it temporarily distracted her from the current situation.
“Me, though, I've always liked you a lot,” said Space. “You're way nicer than most girls. Most girls think I'm a freak or a loser or both.”
Snapped out of her miserable memories of high school, Galaxy said, “Yeah, I can see that. I mean, not that I am trying to insult you or anything, but you are a bit … eccentric.”
“It doesn't bother me too much anymore,” said Space with a shrug. Then he returned to removing the gum wad. “Dang it, this thing just doesn't want to let go. Wonder if Mr. Columbus put it there to make this job harder. Wouldn't put it past him, to be honest.”
“So do you believe me anyway?” said Galaxy, bending over slightly to look at his face better. “I'm not lying about our adult lives. Normally, you and I are adults in our thirties living on a starship I built called the Adventure. We have a robotic assistant and friend named Sparky who helps us. You usually call yourself Mr. Space and I call myself Captain Galaxy.”
Space stopped trying to remove the wad of gum again and looked at Galaxy with a puzzled look in his eyes. “Mr. Space? That's kind of a silly name. Why don't I just go by Jason?”
“You hate your first name,” said Galaxy. “That's why.”
“Why do I hate my first name?” said Space.
“Because you have a flare for the dramatic as an adult and you think 'Mr. Space' sounds cooler than Jason Space,” said Galaxy.
“Oh,” said Space. “Why don't you go by Helena, then?”
“Because I think it's the worst name in the universe,” said Galaxy. “But do you believe my story anyway? I don't really have any proof, but I know it's true. I remember it all. You have to believe me.”
Space scratched his pimply chin. “I don't know. It sounds pretty weird and I don't like believing far-fetched things like that. On the other hand, I've never known you to lie to me or anyone about anything, so I can't just ignore what you said right off the bat, either.”
“You've got to believe me,” said Galaxy. “But even if you don't, you can still help me. Do you know where Sparky is?”
“Sparky?” said Space. He frowned. “You mean that dorky kid with the beanie?”
“Dorky kid?” said Galaxy. “Do you mean he goes to school here?”
“Actually, he goes to the Annulus Elementary School just across the street,” said Space. He then suddenly struck the wad of gum again, though the spatula bounced off it like it was made of iron. “But he thinks I'm really cool for some reason and always follows me around when he gets a chance. I've tried to explain to him that I'm a nerd, but he doesn't believe me or seem to care.”
“But he's a robot,” said Galaxy. “What's a robot doing in an elementary school?”
“Hey, don't use that word,” said Space, looking at Galaxy in shock. “It's offensive.”
“What, 'robot'?” said Galaxy.
“Yes,” said Space, nodding. “The correct term is 'Artificial-American.' You should know that.”
Frankly, Galaxy did not see how she could have known that, seeing as this alternate universe—which was what she now suspected this place to be—was completely different from her home universe. But she decided not to argue the point, as Sparky clearly wasn't joking about it and she didn't want to waste time arguing with the only person in this universe who she knew.
So Galaxy, glancing out the window and failing to see the elementary school, said, “Where is Sparky now?”
“How should I know?” said Space with a shrug. “It's not like we're friends or anything. If I had to venture a guess, I'd say he's probably back at his home—again, don't ask me for the address, because I don't know where it is—since school is out for the day.”
Galaxy snapped her fingers. “Dang. I was hoping I could find Sparky and see if he remembered the Adventure, but I guess I won't be able to do that until tomorrow at least.”
“Uh huh,” said Space as he continued to fight the gum wad, which seemed determined to stick there. “But I'm not sure I'd do that if I were you. All your talk about starships and stuff is kind of freaking me out and I think you'd scare Sparky, too.”
Not paying any attention to Space, Galaxy stroked her chin and said, “I must have ended up in some strange alternate universe somehow. The only question is, how and why am I here? Did the Adventure perhaps travel through a strange inter-dimensional rift in reality? Or is there something else going on here?”
“Why don't you try remembering what you were doing right before you woke up in class?” Space said. “I mean, I'm still not sure whether to believe you or not, but if I were you, that's what I'd do.”
Galaxy folded her arms across her chest and frowned. “Let's see … if I remember correctly, I was just going to bed after a long day of working on the Adventure's engines. I was really tired and fell asleep the second my head hit the pillow, which is really rare for me, seeing as my active mind usually keeps me awake for at least an hour after I lay down in bed for the night.”
“That's all you remember?” said Space. “Are you sure?”
“Yes,” said Galaxy. “I don't remember noticing anything out of the ordinary, so if I was somehow taken to some parallel universe, then it was likely after I went to bed. The only question is, then, what happened after I went to sleep.”
“Well, I can't help you with that,” said Space with a shrug, “seeing as I don't have any memories of any starship. I've always lived with both of my feet on Earth, although I've always wanted to join NASA and explore the stars.”
NASA? Galaxy thought. That organization has been disbanded for three hundred years by my time. Did I somehow also travel into the past?
“Anyway, we should get back to work,” said Space. “Mr. Columbus is going to be back soon and I don't want him to give us three more months of detention when he finds us slacking off.”
Galaxy looked at the classroom door, but did not see Mr. Columbus or any other member of the school faculty about to come through. The mention of Mr. Columbus, however, brought a new question to Galaxy's mind.
She looked back at Space and asked, “Who else is on the school faculty besides Mr. Columbus?”
Space scratched the top of his head and frowned. “Um, well, there's our PE teacher, Mr
. Sauvage, who has a funny French accent everyone makes fun of when he's not around. Then there's Mr. Drifle, the drama teacher, who's really fat but was a famous film director in the old days before he got this job, so he's actually a great teacher and my favorite. And there's also Mr. Davies, who is our shop teacher and also the bodyguard/butler of my mom.”
All three of those people are people who we've met before on our adventures, Galaxy thought. And they are all teachers at this school. What the hell kind of alternate universe did I end up in? Or is this somehow all in my mind instead?
Thinking about these questions did not help Galaxy find the answers to them, so she said aloud, “I have to figure out how to get back to my home universe. Has this universe discovered dimension-hopping yet?”
“Uh, no?” said Space, now staring at her like he was genuinely worried for her sanity. “I mean, there are a lot of scientists who theorize about alternate universes and stuff, but no one has actually created a functioning dimensional portal or anything like that yet. Sparky would know more about this, though, because he's way more of a science geek than I am.”
“Then it seems that my next step is clear,” said Galaxy. “Find Sparky and see if he remembers anything about the original universe. And if not, see if he knows anything about dimensional travel. He might be able to help me get back home or at least point me in the right direction, anyway.”
“Right,” said Space. “But first, we need to work on cleaning up the classroom. Mr. Columbus is gonna be pissed if he finds out that we just sat around talking while he was away.”
As much as Galaxy wanted to get up and go now, she nodded and said, “Fine. But the minute Mr. Columbus lets us go, we search for Sparky right away.”
-
As it turned out, Mr. Columbus was just as eager to leave school as they were. He had the two of them work for another hour before declaring that the classroom was clean enough and that Galaxy and Space could go home now. He said that he had already emailed their parents about their punishment and then threatened to make them permanent members of the school's janitorial squad if he caught them talking in class again.
The Spacetastic Adventures of Mr. Space and Captain Galaxy: Season Two Page 18