by Jaime Marks
Marcus and Cymeryn bowed, “My lady.” As they all readied to leave.
Demytria and Kato came over and kissed her hand with a bow but Demytria hesitated. “If you should need anything, or if you would rather not be alone while Mythos is dealing with things…I’m free for a while.”
“Thanks Demytria, but actually…I was going to ask Grifyn if he would stay so we could talk,” she replied trying to seem nonchalant about it. Grifyn and Mythos turned to her in surprise but Demytria and Cymeryn only smiled. They all knew things needed to be fixed between them but she knew Mythos was surprised she was ready to deal with it already and Grifyn didn’t expect it. This was something her Father would’ve wanted though and she had a better understanding of his reasons now that she’d been immersed in ancestral essence for so long.
Grifyn composed himself and bowed, “As you wish, my lady.”
She shook her head in frustration. “You guys do realize I’m not Queen at the moment, right? You don’t have to bow and fuss over me.”
They all chuckled, which was frustrating. She hated when they did that.
Mythos came over and sat beside her with an apologetic smile. “I know it makes you uncomfortable, Stephynia, but with the Declaration of Courting made, most will see you as the future Queen and pay you respect as such. When you leave the comfort of our corridor, it is likely that most you encounter will pay you similar respect as word spreads. I am afraid the declaration was made quite publicly. It will not take long before most in the realm are aware.”
“Indeed,” Marcus mused. “I’m afraid you will have to endeavor to get used to it, my lady. Much as Cymeryn, and Reyana have to make such adjustments as well.”
“Indeed,” Cymeryn scoffed shaking his head. “The Fae and their silly traditions.”
“Oh come now, Cymeryn. You were paid respect often as Supryn,” Demytria smirked.
“Very true, I was accustomed to being paid respect upon summoning my men or issuing orders, but not for simply walking down a hallway. Sometimes I wonder if it is not our traditions that have made the Fae so vulnerable in this war.”
Steph studied him a moment as some hidden memory seemed to slip to the forefront. It was an odd sensation and happening far more often now, especially when she spoke to any of them. It wasn’t that she could really remember what she was reacting to, but as if the memory unlocked some insight that guided her. It was odd. “If you really believe that is the case, Cymeryn, it is something we should discuss at some point.” She was more than aware she was channeling almost the exact words her Father had spoken but couldn’t remember where, when or even to who.
Cymeryn offered her a lopsided grin, “Indeed. It will be interesting to see how your insight into the matter compares to what your Father felt. I would have to agree with his majesty, you are beginning to sound very much like a Queen.”
She sighed and turned to Mythos leaning over to kiss him. “Go. Do what needs to be done.”
He kissed her back and she watched as he left with Marcus and Cymeryn at his side and Demytria and Kato followed suit. Grifyn shifted uncomfortably but moved to sit in one of the armchairs. He looked as if he wanted to say something but he just glanced at her and waiting for her to gather her thoughts.
“You look like you have something to say,” she offered, not sure how to make this easier on either of them.
He nodded but didn’t meet her eyes. “I owe you an apology, Steph. Several in fact.” He sighed, “I’ve been intolerable and you deserve to know why.”
“I already do…” She replied studying him when he looked up. “It’s not your fault, Grifyn. My Father didn’t want the life of the Fae for me. He was afraid that if anyone knew I was alive the Shade would hunt me relentlessly. He never would have allowed you to find me.”
Shock ran through him but he quickly recovered. “But I should have tried harder. I knew your Mother was close to birth. I should have at the very least confirmed whether or not you had even been born.”
She shrugged. “It doesn’t matter, Grifyn. Even if you had, my Father was alive and he never would have allowed you to get close. I know that’s difficult in a respect for you to hear, but it’s the truth. And before you ask, no I have no idea what happened to him. I’m not even sure anymore what role he played in my life.” She groaned in frustration, “It’s like all my memories of my childhood are at war with a separate set of memories that are foreign and confusing. Maybe once I sort it all out I’ll know more, but right now it’s all a jumble. It’s actually easier to try to hold on to the knowledge that’s surfacing that occurred before I was born as odd as that sounds.”
He smiled sadly, “Actually it makes sense considering the gift of the knowledge you hold. The past holds no conflict for you, but anything that occurred at the same time as your life is confusing because you were taught and led to believe things were different than they appeared. This world was obviously hidden from you in some way and that would have had to mean some deceit if your Father interacted with you in anyway. He wouldn’t have been able to let you know what he truly was.”
She nodded. “I considered that.”
“Steph, I’m sorry that I overstepped my bounds with you. In truth I was just trying to protect you, but…” He trailed off glancing around the room before looking back to her. “I allowed my guilt to cloud my thinking. Is there any chance we can start over?”
“I’d like that, just…try to remember I’m not a kid, ok? I get it. This world is different and I need to learn all the customs and rules, but I seriously hate when you talk to me like I’m a child. It makes me feel like you think I’m stupid or something,” she explained.
He stood and came beside her. “I know you’re not a child, Steph, and the last thing you are is stupid. I’m sorry if that’s how I made you feel.”
“It’s fine. Let’s just take it day by day, ok? We’ll forget about the last couple days between us and start fresh.” She shrugged with a playful grin. “I mean hey, if I can get along with Byryn anything’s possible right?”
He laughed and smiled at her warmly. “Day by day sounds fine. Now I must apologize again because I’m going to do something I’ve wanted to do since you got here.” He drew her into a tight embrace and she stiffened a moment, but it didn’t feel wrong. It felt…comfortable. “I’m glad that we found you. You’re home, Steph. After so very long, you’ve finally found your way home to us.”
She wasn’t accustomed to affection like this. Sure, she and Mythos were affectionate, but it was an entirely different sort of intimacy and he felt as if he was just another piece of her lining into place. She’d hugged Star before, hell they’d even kissed but it wasn’t like this. This was closer to what she imagined it felt like with your Father. She couldn’t remember having experienced closeness of this sort before, although it caused an echo of something she couldn’t remember to roll through her. It felt right in so many ways but reminded her of something more in so many others. Slowly she returned the gesture and felt him relax beside her. If she were honest, something inside of her eased too.
Byryn stopped at the top of the staircase and glanced down at her before turning down their corridor. He was tempted to just take her straight to their room and be done with all this distance, but he wanted to respect her wishes. Still, he couldn’t seem to form the words to ask her where she wanted to go and she didn’t seem to be volunteering. He turned down their hall and paused between their rooms holding his breath. Saying a silent prayer, he looked down to her and she met his gaze.
His voice was a hoarse, forced whisper when he spoke, “Where do you want me to take you, brightness? I want so badly to take you to our chambers, but only if that’s what you want.”
“Hey Dad!” Kylion came bounding down the hall with Hyracen in tow. “Is Mom ok?”
He cleared his throat trying to find the strength to sound like everything was fine, but she intervened in a quiet voice. “I’m fine, little one. I just need to rest awhile. Your Dad was taking me
to lay down so I can relax. Everything alright?”
“Yeah, just I know you don’t let him carry ya so I was worried.” He studied her closely as if reassuring himself.
Shadows and Light swirled quickly over her skin as he felt her pain rise again and he reached into her controlling the flow of essence between them.
Kylion hopped up and down a moment and clapped. “Are you going into the awakening, Mom?”
They glanced at each other knowing the reason he was excited. They were betrothed and once she awakened they were set to be bound. Kylion called her his Mother but until they were ritually bound linking their blood, their essence, and their lines, it wasn’t really true. How would they explain this to him if she chose to break their courtship?
“Can you put me down a minute, Byryn?” She spoke softly as she met his eyes and he gently lowered her feet to the floor staying close in case she needed him to catch her.
He was balancing her through the surges but to fully alleviate her pain their essence needed to just about merge. It would leave them both vulnerable and risk permanently linking their essence. Until he knew what she wanted he wouldn’t put her in that position. Once she was safe they could figure out where things stood. Either way he would protect her and respect her wishes.
She went down to her knees and pulled Kylion into her arms. “I’m fine, little one. I don’t know if this is my awakening yet or not, but either way I’m going to be alright. Please don’t be worried. Your Dad and I will be in our room if you need us, ok?” Byryn let out a breath that had been caught in his chest and some of the tension bled out of him.
He smiled and kissed her cheek. “Ok Mom. I’m gonna grab my books so I can read with Grandma Trina.”
“Good, you should practice your writing too.” She tussled his hair and rose slowly.
He nodded. “I will.”
They watched him bounce into his room and when he came out Hyracen bowed to them and allowed the boy to take his hand as they went back out the hall to his parent’s door. Hyracen had taken well to Kylion and it was good to see. The comfort between them often helped because it meant the boy was less likely to try to take off on his own and he was more than adept at shaking his guards. Byryn was still working with Hyracen to teach him how to anticipate and track Kylion. He had unfortunately trained the boy a little too well when they lived in Trevyn’s safehold.
“Are you alright, or do you want me to carry you?” He asked, restraining himself from simply pulling her to him. This distance was painful and annoying. He had never given a second thought to most of this before. He just did what he knew she needed him to.
Her hand came up and rested lightly on his chest as she turned and looked up at him. “Carry me? Please.”
He smiled warmly down at her as he gently lifted her into his arms and took her into their chambers. Carefully he set her down on her side of the bed. He remembered how sore your muscles got after the waves pulsed through you a few times. It was almost like your entire body spasmed. The only thing that soothed it was the flow of essence between you and the Fae awakening you.
He moved back from her but she caught his hand. “Lay with me awhile?”
Climbing into the bed, he pulled her into his arms and drew the sheet up over them both. Maybe he shouldn’t ask about her awakening. If she didn’t want him to awaken her, she would ask for someone else. Some things had to evolve of their own accord. Maybe this was one of those times that he should just let whatever happened, happen.
“Stop thinking so much then,” she murmured against his chest.
“You can hear me, brightness?” He couldn’t hold back the amusement in his voice any more than he could stop the smile that spread across his lips.
“Mmhmm. Your thoughts have been pretty clear since earlier.” She looked up at him. “At first I thought they were all my own because everything in my head was so jumbled, but then when you were talking about John and Kyle and then Ryo came to find you I realized half of what I was hearing in my head wasn’t me.”
“I’m sorry. I had no idea, though I suppose I should’ve considered the possibility considering how long we were linked.” He kissed her forehead. “You’ll learn how to control it in time.” He smiled thinking how much fun it would be if she let him teach her.
She cleared her throat as her cheeks blushed at his thoughts and he chuckled. “Should we let someone know we’re back and that I might be awakening?”
“Probably,” he conceded although really at the moment he was comfortable in this quiet intimacy between them. He didn’t really want to disturb it by bringing other people in but sometimes it was unavoidable. “Can I call, Cymeryn? He should be aware because of your…specialized training, and I need him to handle something for me.” She nodded against him and he reached out.
Cymeryn appeared within moments. “Is everything alright?”
As if in response wisps flowed over her form and she groaned as Byryn balanced her once more. Byryn met Cymeryn’s concerned look.
“May I sense her, Byryn?” He asked as he studied her.
He met her eyes and for the first time was able to reach across the links in her mind to allow her to hear him as clearly as he heard her.
“This is your decision, Staryana. I can sense your fear. Cymeryn might be able to ease it for you.”
“Do you think there’s something wrong? That Alayne is doing something?”
“I’m not sure, but Cymeryn would read it clearly.”
She nodded and he looked to him “Please Cymeryn. I’m worried about her.”
“You’re closely linked at the moment. I warn you, Byryn, you will feel me as well.”
He shrugged. “It’s fine. I’m expecting it this time.”
She looked up at him in concern but he sent his essence out comforting her as they both felt Cymeryn’s essence flow over them. “You are indeed awakening, Staryana. Your Darkness is simply surging with the Light. Though Byryn will do most of the work for you, you should keep yourself in check as well. It will help to prevent the surges of pain.”
“Thanks.” She nodded.
“I saw your request in your mind, Byryn, I will see he receives the message clearly.” Cymeryn met his gaze with an unforgiving sneer. “It will be a pleasure, I assure you.”
Byryn had to laugh. “I would feel sorry for him if I didn’t already want him dead.”
Staryana shook her head. “You’re incorrigible.”
Cymeryn smirked with a laugh, “Actually, I would say your betrothed is being rather well behaved. Perhaps you should simply relax and let him show you the meaning of the word, hmm?”
Byryn looked to him in shock as Staryana turned about ten shades of red.
He chuckled at them both. “Oh please, Byryn, I was around enough for you to know my sensibilities are far more lax than Marcus’ when it comes to such things. It is not as if she is far from awakening.” He paused growing serious as he regarded them, “I can sense the confusion and distance between you as clearly as I can see the love and the need. This is not going to destroy you, it can only make you stronger. The only question is how long it will take before you both realize it. Let the love between you flow. Let it heal the wounds you share. Do not let the Darkness of your past and others tear this rift between you…” He looked pointedly at Staryana. “And perhaps be honest with one another as to why you are pushing the other away.”
Before either of them could respond he was gone. She wouldn’t meet his eyes and he was suddenly aware that she was blocking him. If it wasn’t for what Cymeryn had said he might have let it go. He had assumed any distance between them was due to the horrors of his past, but was there something else?
He brushed the curls back from her face. “Baby?”
Her eyes squeezed shut as fear and shame shot through her. Something had happened, something she was hiding from him. It had to be something Alayne had done, the only other time he felt such shame in her was when he had discovered the depths to which he had reac
hed her mind. He hadn’t been able to reach her physically, but he still twisted her mind on occasion. It was the sole reason Cymeryn trained her in mental manipulation.
“Brightness, there is nothing you can tell me or show me that could change how much I love you. I don’t know what he did or made you feel, but I can promise you, it won’t change anything,” he whispered softly trying to reassure her. There was nothing else he could say. She had to trust him with whatever it was on her own.
After a few moments she met his eyes and he felt the last of the barriers she was keeping in place slip away. She was getting too good at this he realized. If Cymeryn hadn’t said anything he might not have even noticed it. Images flooded his mind as she shared the memory with him. Tears flowed down her cheeks and he wiped them away. It was the day that she had run from here, from herself. He had known something pushed her over the edge, but he knew better than to push her.
Alayne stood there before her in a nearly black chamber, only four candles fought against the Darkness. They stood at the four corners of a black curtained canopy bed where she lay, illuminating her form. She was dressed in a sheer black fabric that covered only her most modest regions. Alayne knelt before her, his essence flowing though her in seductive waves, flowing into her. He ripped the fabric from her body and pinned her kissing her roughly as he ran his hands over her. She fought him at first, but he bound her in essence pinning her to the bed. She was helpless. After a while it was too much and the Darkness had shifted her. She gave into his seductions and gave herself over to his touch. Afterwards she fell to the ground in a ball of tears and pain, disgusted at her own actions. Fear of losing Byryn, fear and disgust with herself, it ran through her relentlessly.
By the time the images faded, she was shaking in his arms as sobs coursed through her the Darkness quickly surging forth. He drew as much essence from her as he could and brought her close to balance before hooking her chin and tilting her face gently up to his. “Staryana, he has manipulated your mind. You haven’t betrayed me. Seduction is a very difficult thing to manage in your mind. It comes in the form of dream and deception.”