by Kayes, Greg
"Do you ever stay the same age?" Henrietta mocked.
Mist cringed as she laughed holding her side.
"Age is just a number that you can change to suite your needs. Why do you think women always lie about it?"
They both laughed heartily for a moment.
"Are you going to be alright?" Henrietta asked like a long lost buddy.
"This? Nooo. I'll be fine. Got banged up when the deer broke through the floor. Zombie deer are frightening enough but they can't handle a decline. It was like whack a mole with a shotgun."
"But that attack was days ago! What happened to your head?"
"Oh this?" Mist said wiping her head clean. "It's chicken blood. I can't have zombie chickens running around my farm. It's unsanitary!"
"Hunting chickens...made you out of breath?"
"Yea! Those little suckers will damn near peck your shins off! Any farmer will tell you that's no joke even for normal chickens. Evil buggers they are even before they go undead."
"Mist, you are just the best kind of...stuff." Henrietta said while giggling
"It's good to see you too missy. Now let's talk about that arm. How on God's green earth did you lose that?"
"Not by ghost chickens I can tell you that."
"Come now, it’s serious time."
"Sorry."
"You just lost it too."
"It's more...it...lost me."
"That's a new one even for me sweetie. Not many things go after ghosts you know. At least not usually. I've heard the old rumors and stories. But when most of the population cares more about the living and can't perceive the dead you don't get much in the way of research. On top of the fact that we're now living in the zombie apocalypse, everyone is spending all their time trying to survive than to care for the departed. That's why all these ghosts are here."
"Were."
"Excuse me?"
"Past tense. Someone's ate them up. And me too with them."
"But there's something to that ain't there."
"Yea...your friend says hi."
"I'm pretty sure I don't have friends who eat ghosts. At least none I'd call friends, anyways that's another story for later."
"No, not the one who ate me…This guy was different." Henrietta said in a far away voice
"Oooh. That kind of friend. What did he look like?"
"Like, I could see him perfectly but not at all like he wasn't there."
"Hmmm."
"He tapped me on the forehead. The earth shattered like the sound of a gong." Henrietta spoke like she was reliving a dream
*Gong*
“Yea just like that.” Henrietta said dreamily
"Earth to Henrietta! Hello!"
"Wh-what?"
"You drifted off there a moment. Anyways you put your arm right. Look."
Henrietta looked down at her left arm that was back where it had always been. She flexed her fingers; it felt as if it had never left.
"Did...did you do that?" Henrietta asked
"No sweetie, that one was all you."
"But you saw what I did, right? You heard that gong?"
"Sweetie I'm going to let you in on a little secret. I can't really see you. Eyes aren't built for seeing ghosts. And no bells went off in here."
"But you saw my arm was off!"
"That's different. Come on now, don't go worrying about what this little old lady can and can't see. It'll give you a headache if you think too hard about it. Now let's go make some tea for our guests."
"Oh! Where is that crazy man?"
"Oh him? I got him burning those dear carcasses out back. It took forever to get them out of the basement and the meat's no good once they go zombie."
There was a huge explosion of fire that glowed through the window from behind the chicken coop. Bits of smoldering flesh rained down like sleet bouncing off the roof.
"I'll expect he'll only have a few second degree burns when he gets back in." Mist said nonchalant
Henrietta nodded then felt silly for it.
"You don't have to feel all embarrassed over nodding dear." Mist said getting up
"But I thought you couldn't-"
"-Don't try to wrap your brain around what I can and can't do. We'd be here all day trying to untangle you. So why don't you go fetch me some tea from the cabinet while I put the kettle on and clean up a little."
Feeling flummoxed Henrietta rushed over to the tea cabinet and pulled out the tea tin before she remembered she was a ghost and dropped it. The tin burst open spilling the tiny leaves all over the floor.
"I'm sorry!" Henrietta said shocked and embarrassed
Mist sighed and said "It's ok dear. I wanted to see how far you would get with it. Seems you did pretty good. Now if you're feeling confident could you sweep that mess into a pile with your hands? Take your time now. There's no rush when it comes to boiling water."
"I don't think a ghost moving stuff is like boiling water."
"I meant the kettle I put on dear."
"Oh!"
"-And yes it is. When it comes to boiling water, it boils when it damn well wants to boil, not when you want it to. At least not without a whole lot of heat. But that's a metaphor for another time."
There was some banging at the door.
"That'll be our luckless friend then. See if you can open it for him if you can. I'm sure he's having a bit of trouble."
Putting the tea tin aside, without realizing it, Henrietta went over to the door and struggled with the latch. The door banged a few more times enthusiastically.
"Alright already! It's not like I'm a ghost or anything trying to move objects."
*Click*
"There!"
Henrietta moved back as the door opened and then felt her stomach drop like a stone. There standing in the doorway, stood herself. Time stood still for just a moment.
"MIST, LOOK OUT!!!" Henrietta shouted.
"Hmmm?"
Henrietta's corpse lunged into the house and was upon Mist before she could react. Knocked to the ground, Mist fought to right herself just in time to hold Henrietta lifeless head back from giving her a fatal bite. The corpse screeched and flailed her arms clawing madly at Mist.
Henrietta felt sick. She has seen her corpse do this too many times to too many other people. She knew what happens next. What always happens next. But not Mist. This can't happen to Mist!
Henrietta screamed as she grabbed the kettle and beaned her corpse across her head. Her own head. Can't think like that now. But too late, she lost grip of the kettle which slipped through her fingers to the ground. Her corpse however was momentarily thrown off as Mist rolled to her side.
Mist lay coughing for a moment as she held her injury from the other day, before she forced herself through the pain and on to her hands and feet, trying to craw frantically away. The corpse grabbed hold of her ankle and pulled her back toward its mouth. As it went in for a bite Henrietta smacked herself with a broom handle alongside her head giving Mist barely enough time to kick herself free.
Crawling backwards Mist kicked repeatedly at the advancing corpse. Furiously screaming, Henrietta threw anything and everything she could grab. She might as well have been throwing ping pong balls because that's what her corpse looked like she was getting hit with. Furry boiled over and Henrietta took a swipe at herself with her fist.
The muscles on her face twitched.
The effect was like an explosion and threw Henrietta through the wall and out of the house. She got up quickly and rushed back in. Pinned up to the cabinet Mist was barely holding the corpse back at the end of her feet. Henrietta took another swipe at its neck.
The corpse's head jerked madly toward where she hit its neck.
Henrietta then madly rained blow after blow on the corpses back making it spasm and jump like fire crackers exploding under its skin. The effect was tremendously explosive to Henrietta sending her fists bouncing back like she was hitting a ferociously exploding rubber wall.
Henrietta screamed in p
ain and frustrated furry.
"You need to posses it!" Mist shouted
"What?!"
"Take it over!!"
Henrietta looked down at her corpsely self then back at her ghostly hands that seemed to be smoking slightly from where she hit herself. Taking a deep breath, she looked back down at her corpse. Then with a charging yell, she dove in.
Silence fell as the corpse went instantly limp. Mist sat there out of breath for a moment before she tried to stand. Unfortunately her legs were like trying to stand on jelly and greatly worn out so she slumped back to the ground. After another two attempts she managed to push herself upright and over the momentarily limp corpse to get her shotgun. She then went to a cupboard and grabbed something out of it before she then up righted a chair and sat down.
Opening a box of shells Mist reloaded her shotgun then tossed the empty box onto the table.
"I haven't smoked in fifty years." Mist said cocking her shotgun. "But that just made me wish I died of emphysema years ago."
Mist exhaled deeply with her hand on her heart as if she just finished a marathon.
"You kids and your zombies. It'll be the death of me! Well now sweetie, do you still feel as if you wanna consume my flesh?"
Henrietta's corpse began to stir on the ground. Mist stood up and put her foot on its back forcing it back down to the ground as she poked her gun to the back of its neck.
"Na ah. No moving till I know who's doing the moving."
The corpse stopped moving a moment then quickly swept Mist's feet out from under her. Before she knew it, the corpse was on top of her hissing like a beast. That was when Mist saw it, only for an instant, a twitch of intelligence in her face. The corpse then lost it and screeched as it dove in for the kill only to be suddenly pulled back and up into the air.
Henrietta's corpse flailed like a feral beast hissing and clawing ferociously at the air as the accident prone man held her in the air. After a brief struggle he threw her into the basement and shut the door. The corpse started to bang relentlessly on the door making it shake as the man turned back to Mist.
"Alright," Mist said concedingly "you've definitely earned your keep. Now help me up."
The man went and helped ease Mist back to her feet. Mist then sat back down holding her injured sides while laughing. The man stood there and gave her a look.
"What?" Mist said as she noticed his expression. "No, I'm alright. Just a little banged up. It's more the adrenalin still kicking in."
He gave her another look
"No I don't think I'll kill her right away. She's our experiment."
The man gave her a look that could only be described as "What?!"
"Your friend from the other day. She's gone and possessed that thing there. Now I don't know which way this'll turn out. I'm out of my depth when it comes to possessing zombies. But it is going to be one of those wait and see kind of things."
"So what now?" The man expressed
"Well, now we should clean up. This place is a mess."
"AAAAHHHH!!! Where am I?! Oh my God, I've gone lost!!" Said a voice from upstairs.
"And on top of that we have another visitor upstairs to deal with." Mist said, and quickly added "No! Just a ghost. Don't worry. I'll go handle it, you just clean up in here."
"Ok." The man expressed
"And when you're done go and make yourself something to eat. This one's going to be a while. It's one of those damned touchy ones. They can take all night to accept anything."
The man gave her quite an unusual look.
"What?" Mist asked.
"It's nothing, just...Why do you do it?" The man expressed
"Cause I can is the easiest response."
The man shrugged "But even now? With the world as it is?"
"The world has always been as it is. That's why it's called the world. But I'll tell you what. If I didn't help that friend of yours out, that corpse in the basement would be munching on my bones right about now. The least I can do is take care of her guest till we can figure this thing out."
Everything was strange. Where was everybody? And more importantly, where was he?! Mike huddled up into himself with fear. Too many nights now he's been at the beck and call of the Master. And the Master shouldn't be kept waiting or he will eat him.
Mike kept repeating that under his breath as he rocked back and forth neurotically in the bed. It was only after a minute he realized that he was in a bed. A comfortable bed at that. How can a bed be comfortable for a ghost?"
A loud creaking of wood made Mike huddle even tighter in on himself. He glanced over and saw an elderly lady coming up the stairs. He relaxed a little. It wasn't the Master but he still stayed tight as a ball. The old woman approached his bed and then kept on walking. After a moment he heard fabric rustling.
Mike looked up in curiosity. The lady was making a bed. She looked old yet moved surprisingly agile as if she were young while she took the old sheets off and dressed it with new ones. She then went and opened the blinds letting in the bright red light of day...and frowned.
"John!! The coop is on fire! I told you to burn the deer further from the house! Go take care of it would you! Extinguisher is under the sink!"
The woman sighed as she sat heavily on the freshly made bed. Silence fell over the room as Mike watched the woman from behind his tightly wound arms as they clung snugly around his legs. He was waiting for her to get up and leave or do something else but she didn't. She just kept sitting there as if she had all day. A clock ticked loudly in the silence.
"You know..." She said suddenly making Mike twitch, but only so much cause he knew he was a ghost.
"...It's ok...to be scared after something bad has happened to you."
This made Mike seize up. This woman couldn't possibly be talking to him, could she? Anyways that doesn't matter. The Master could be here any moment and eat him, so what does anything matter anymore.
"You died...and then something bad happened again. I can tell that much."
Oh God she really is talking to me! Or is she a loon.
"...So it's ok to be scared, because something else bad might happen again soon."
The woman had Mike's full attention now.
"You...had the greatest misfortune to learn…that death doesn't mean the end to bad things happening to you. I'm so sorry for that."
The way the woman said it made Mike want to cry. And then suddenly he wanted to cry so hard like he had never cried ever in life. The woman waited patiently as she sat there on the bed staring at the wall in front of her.
"I'm not a nice person." Mike said finally
"And I'm not an old lady." She said
Mike quickly looked up at the woman who was in fact not an old lady but a youthful teen with ginger freckles. She then randomly burst out laughing as she suddenly became the old lady again.
"I'm sorry! I'm sorry!" She said panting in between laughs "But you should have seen your face just then!" *snort*
Mike felt a mix of embarrassment and anger.
"Well I'm not a nice person! Why shouldn't bad things happen to me?!"
The lady began to calm down, but gradually, as she found her composure. She sat there looking at him for a bit as he fumed angrily at her.
"You've been killed by a zombie hoard. Let the sins of your life die with your death."
"But that's not how it works!! The wicked should be punished in eternal hell fire!" Mike said surprised at himself for saying it. "I stole more than my fair share and took pride in it! Why shouldn't I be living in hell!! It's no more than I deserve. I'm just surprised it took this long to find me!"
The lady sat there quietly for a while as if thinking to herself.
"Devout Christian or Catholic, at least for a while before you gave it up or grew up. No surprise there. I bet death came as quite a shock to you even if you've long left the church."
Mike didn't say anything. His ashamed silence said it loud enough for him.
"Well let me tell you something
." She said softly "Life...happens."
That didn't help much.
"What you stole sounds like no small amount. But that's life."
That still didn't help
"Life is about finding a way. Any way. Life doesn't put restrictions on people just because they are people and can think better than other living things. Life is life and does whatever it wants. It actually does do whatever it wants whenever it wants. That's what life is!
"Listen. We were put into this world to live. And we do so as every other life form did before us. Find a way to live, however we can, given our immediate surroundings and resources."
Mike didn't say anything but he was listening
"Trouble is, every other life form has the same instructions as every other life form and that means there’s not enough of everything to go around for everyone. So that means there’s not enough surroundings and not enough immediate resources. Or maybe one wants more than the others do or get, and why not? That one may have gathered or produced more than the others so why shouldn't they have more? Or, that one has so much more than the others so why shouldn't I take some of his? He has enough for like five of us.
"The thing is we turn each other into another immediate resource rather than turn the actual immediate resources into something useful or into enough for everyone."
Mike felt lost
"And then you get into rationing to make sure you don't burn through your resources too quickly so that you will have some later down the road and then it becomes “I have to protect it from others” for the same reason. On and on and on it goes like that."
Mike sat quietly as he felt lost and confused
"The thing is...we just want to live as best we can. So farmers take the best advantage of the soil to yield crops. A hunter takes advantage of animal’s predictable behaviors to provide meat and clothing, or other terrible acts of poaching. A thief takes advantage of a flawed system to yield a living, well at least a good one does. The thing is if you try to poke a system, it doesn't like that much. You poke at it too much it either squashes you or it breaks down into what you want it to be or it breaks so much that nobody can use it anymore."
"Why are you telling me all this?" Mike asked