Helen stopped crying, hiccuped and drew in a rough breath. “Baby? What do babies have to do with the fact that I’m dying?”
“Whatever gave you that idea?”
“You said I have only months to live.”
Doctor Joyce chuckled, at least Helen thought it was a chuckle. Her somber expression never completely changed. “You can look at it that way if you want to, but that’s not what I meant. You’re pregnant and your baby is due in about seven months. Because you’re not sure of the date of your last period, you’ll need an ultrasound to get a more accurate date. Your gynecologist at home can order that, but from my initial exam, you’re approximately seven to eight weeks pregnant.”
Acid swirled inside Helen’s stomach. Her chest tightened. Her hands felt clammy. If she wasn’t half-naked, she’d run out of the tiny office screaming. “Pregnant! Me? No. Not possible. It must be a tumor or a deadly wart.”
“Trust me. It’s a fetus.”
“You don’t understand. That’s completely impossible.”
“If you have intercourse with a man, it’s completely possible.”
Helen drew in a deep, calming breath. The doctor had to be wrong. Everyone knew Vegas doctors were less than great, and this one was just plain dumb.
“He’s had a vasectomy,” Helen spit out.
“It’s rare, but there’s a one percent chance of pregnancy during the first five years after a vasectomy.”
“So it can’t happen.”
“It already did.”
“But we only had sex one time. We’re friends, not lovers. Colt won’t want—” She stopped talking. News traveled like a wildfire during these championships. “Who else knows about this?”
“You, me and soon your team leader.”
“You can’t tell anyone.”
“He’ll want to know if you’re fit to ride, which you are not. At least not in competition.”
Helen didn’t want to dwell on that last statement at the moment. She had other, more pressing concerns. “Can’t you make up something? I don’t want anyone to know I’m—” The word caught in her throat.
“Pregnant?”
Helen nodded, desperately trying to come to terms with the whole idea of having an actual baby growing inside her. An actual child. A dependent. A munchkin she never thought would come out of her body. Babies were for her friends, her relatives, people who wanted to reproduce.
She wasn’t one of them.
“If that’s how you want it, I won’t tell anyone, but you shouldn’t ride competitively while you’re pregnant. If you’re thrown, you could lose the baby.”
“I’ve never been thrown from a horse, and I’ve been riding for over twenty years.”
“It’s a precaution. In the meantime, eat ginger for your nausea, get plenty of rest and increase your calorie intake. You might want to consider eating smaller meals. Sometimes that helps. Start taking prenatal vitamins—you can get them just about anywhere—and try to add plenty of calcium to your diet. Make an appointment with an ob-gyn when you get home.”
“This is happening too fast. It changes everything. I don’t like change. It throws off my equilibrium.”
The doctor hesitated for a beat. “There are other options if you don’t want this baby.”
Her words hit Helen like a shock wave, taking her breath away.
When she was able to breathe again, she protested, “Who said anything about options? Of course I want this baby. I’d be crazy not to...wouldn’t I?” She paused as the thought of other options settled in her mind.
She shook her head. “I’m pregnant, and I’m staying that way, at least for the next seven months anyway.” Her heart skipped a beat. “I’m pregnant!”
The enormity of her condition began to sink in. The idea of motherhood scared her silly. Yes, she loved kids, as long as they belonged to someone else, and yes, she sometimes liked Colt’s boys, when they weren’t dropping frogs in her drink or using the latticework in her backyard as target practice with her spring fruit. She didn’t have to discipline them or worry if they were eating their veggies or tormenting their teachers. But most of all, she didn’t have to be responsible for anyone but herself.
She’d always prided herself on her freedom. Her independence. She could join the rodeo circuit and be gone for months at a time. Pursue her dreams. Be a free spirit. Make love with no strings attached.
Suddenly that flimsy string had turned into a rope, a thick rope that tied her to Colt Granger, a rope made out of ten-gauge steel that could never be cut.
Never, no matter what.
She shivered at the thought, or was it simply cold in the office? Truth be told, she didn’t know much of anything at the moment. Her brain was in a state of shock. Thinking was not part of its current function.
“Great. Then congratulations, Helen Shaw. You’re going to be a mom.” A warm smile spread across the doctor’s face as a tsunami of nausea drenched Helen in warm sweat.
“I’m glad somebody thinks so,” Helen mumbled while trying to get control over her roiling stomach.
Now all she had to do was figure out a way to tell Colt, a man who most certainly did not want another child. A man who could barely handle the kids he already had, let alone one more. A man she’d tried her best to steer clear of, knowing full well he represented everything she didn’t want. She had known better not to sleep with him.
They were merely friends.
Nothing more.
But she’d done it anyway.
Now what?
“Cheer up. At least you’re not dying,” the doctor said on her way out the door.
Helen nodded, smiled and decided dying might have been the better option.
And as if the universe was angry at her for thinking such a horrible thought, nausea overtook her and she vomited in the tiny trash can right on top of Doctor Joyce’s latex gloves.
* * *
FOUR-YEAR-OLD JOEY GRANGER sat up on the edge of the red slate roof of the two-story barn swinging his legs, looking as happy as a fly on a honey pie. It was his birthday, and Dodge, his gramps, had invited half the town of Briggs, Idaho, for the annual spring barbecue on the Granger family ranch, a sprawling homestead that encompassed enough land for a sizable commercial potato crop, a hundred head of cattle, three ranch houses, a couple stables, several outbuildings and enough open range for deer and elk to call it home. The ranch landscape included grassy hills and valleys, acres of flat land and an assortment of towering trees. Dodge lived in the main house, along with Colt’s brother Doc Blake, a pediatric dentist who had transformed half of the house into his dental office, his young daughter, Scout, and his wife, Maggie. The house had a view of the Teton mountain range to the east, and a sky that wouldn’t quit to the west.
Travis, the youngest of the three brothers, had built his own house as soon as he was old enough to live on his own on the northeast corner of the land, closer to the town of Briggs itself, about a fifteen minute drive from the main house. Then there was Colt’s place, which he built on a bend in the Snake River, which ran through the property. Colt figured it to be the perfect location for raising three spirited boys, Joey being his youngest.
Unfortunately for Colt, most of the townsfolk and their kids had decided to attend the birthday celebration, including Jenny Pickens, Colt’s latest match-up courtesy of his brother Travis, who had assured him this girl would be the perfect fit. A fine gesture if he was at all interested in another woman, but ever since he’d slept with Helen Shaw the search had come to a grinding halt. Problem was he knew darn well that capturing Helen’s heart seemed as probable as his trying to catch a raindrop in a thunderstorm. The girl had already planned out her life, and it didn’t include raising three strong-willed boys on a potato ranch in Briggs, Idaho.
Still, he couldn’t sto
p thinking about her.
The heck if he hadn’t struggled to get her out of his head. But she lingered on him like the scent of cherry blossoms in spring. It should never have happened. They were good friends and he had aimed to keep it that way, hadn’t meant for it to go any further, never planned to take the friendship to the bedroom. But he’d given her that dang necklace as a going-away present, which seemed to warrant a goodbye kiss at her front door, and before he knew what hit him, that innocent kiss exploded into a night of pure firehouse passion.
Not that he would go back and change anything, he wouldn’t. He simply needed to stop thinking about it and comparing Helen to other women.
Like, say for instance, Jenny Pickens, who could talk a rutting bull to sleep. Which accounted for why Colt hadn’t seen his boys move the trampoline closer to the barn and why when he eventually spotted Joey up on the roof through the kitchen window, after listening to Jenny drone on about her bunion removal ordeal, he near about died right there over Joey’s strawberries and cream birthday cake.
“What the—” Colt said as he ran out the back door, past Jenny, who yammered on about the causes of bunions.
Joey’s two older brothers, Buddy, who was going on eight years old, and Gavin, who’d recently turned six, along with several other children on the ground goaded him to jump down onto the large trampoline they’d managed to move closer to the barn. Colt didn’t share their enthusiasm for the jump and did a record-breaking sprint toward the barn to try and stop what was sure to be a horrible miscalculation of a kid’s innocent prank.
“Don’t you dare!” Colt yelled as he came closer. “Joseph Dodge Granger, you better not jump or there’ll be hell to pay!”
But Joey apparently couldn’t hear him and instead prepared himself for the leap of faith.
He twisted himself around and stood on the edge of the roof, ignoring his father’s plea.
Colt screamed louder this time. “Don’t do it, son!”
Other parents, who up until that moment had been busy partying, took notice of the unfolding events and were also yelling for Joey not to jump. But if Colt knew his son, nothing would deter him from going through with something he started. Joey was even more pigheaded than Colt, and that said a lot.
Just as Joey turned toward his dad with that sly little smirk he got whenever he was about to do something he knew he shouldn’t, and Colt’s heart stopped beating, Travis, Colt’s younger brother, suddenly appeared behind Joey. He reached out, grabbed the boy in midair and the two of them tumbled down onto the trampoline below.
Colt held his breath as they floated down and landed in the center of the trampoline, bouncing in a tangle of limbs, boots and cowboy hats.
No one spoke as Joey and Travis continued to bounce at least three more times.
Then, in what seemed like an entire lifetime, both Joey and Travis were upright, reaching for the sky, while the other kids and party guests cheered and squealed with delight.
“Dumb trampoline,” Colt mumbled as he sat down hard on the grass. He moved his black felt hat back on his head, wiped the sweat off his brow with his arm and waited for his heart to stop banging against his rib cage.
Just then, Jenny Pickens sat herself down next to him. “You look as though you could use this.” She handed him a bottle of root beer, then proceeded to tell him all about when she’d climbed up an oak tree in a school yard in Boise, her childhood hometown.
First of all, Colt would have preferred a regular beer, and second of all, he was in no mood to listen to her tale. Being too polite to interrupt, he smiled and said, “Thanks. You sure know how to comfort a man.”
“That’s what everybody says.” Then she snorted out her laugh and Colt considered strangling both his brothers.
After a few moments of her yammering, Colt tuned her out and watched as his two other sons joined Joey on the trampoline. Travis had gotten off and was busy supervising the fun.
“Could’a been worse, son,” Colt’s father, Dodge, said as he knelt on one knee on Colt’s other side. Dodge, who towered over most folks at six foot four, sported a thick head of silky white hair, had a walk like John Wayne, a temperament like a slow-moving train and a way of seeing things that generally made a person listen.
Jenny had sprawled herself back on the grass alongside Colt, still talking, apparently not seeing that Dodge had taken root next to Colt. “Wasn’t nothing like when you jumped off, thinking you could fly. As I recall, you landed in a heap of horse manure out back. Took a spell to get the scent of horse dung outta your hair.”
The memory came rushing back and it wasn’t a pleasant one. “Different time. I was older and knew what I was doing. Joey’s too young. Could’ve missed that trampoline completely.”
“Your brother made sure he didn’t. And thinkin’ about it, seems to me you was no bigger than Joey when you jumped. The way I had it figured, landing on that there getup is cleaner. ’Sides, Joey’s more like you than you realize. Got a stubborn streak a mile long. I knew it was only a matter of time fore he got up on that there roof. Thought we should be prepared.”
Colt stared up at his dad, the noonday sun causing him to squint. Dodge seemed to know what was coming before it came and how to handle it when it arrived. The man always was downright wearisome.
“If you’re expecting me to say thank you, I won’t. If you hadn’t bought that darn thing in the first place, maybe Joey wouldn’t have thought to jump.”
Dodge chewed on that for a minute. His attention momentarily landed on Jenny, who was busy with the details of a fireman climbing up the oak tree to get to her, branch by branch. Dodge whispered, “She your brothers’ doing?”
Colt gave him a little nod.
“They never did have no sense.” Then he said, “The way I see it, when dealin’ with young bucks, there either is or there ain’t. Maybe won’t never do you no good at all.”
Colt wanted to argue, needed to argue to blow off the steam that was tearing up his insides, but he spotted Helen Shaw ambling right for him and in an instant, just the sight of her melted away all his anger. Her ruby-colored hair surrounded her beautiful face and covered her shoulders as she made her way closer to him, looking better than ever in her tight black jeans, brown boots and a tan T-shirt featuring a cowgirl on horseback. To say that Colt had it bad for this woman would have been an understatement. To say that he could think of nothing but wicked bedroom thoughts as she approached was more to the point.
Still, now was not the time. It was his son’s birthday and said son had pitched himself off the barn roof. The boy needed scolding in the worst way.
Nonetheless, as Helen walked in closer, he knew reprimanding Joey would have to take a backseat for the moment. Dodge was right, as he always was. Joey’s descent off the roof had been inevitable. Colt was just happy Dodge had prepared for it.
“Now, there’s a mighty fine woman.” Dodge patted Colt on the shoulder, and walked away. Colt stood.
Jenny stopped talking and also stood, moving next to Colt.
When Helen finally came within earshot, Colt said, “You left the tour just for Joey’s birthday party? We’re honored.”
He stepped away from Jenny, wanting to take Helen in his arms and never let go, but instead he felt awkward with Jenny once again at his elbow.
Helen stopped a couple feet in front of him. Her deep green eyes sparkled as she gazed over at encroaching Jenny, who had her hand out before Helen could respond to Colt.
“Hi, I’m Jenny Pickens.” She rested her other hand on Colt’s arm, familiar, as if they were a couple. His instinct was to flick it off like an annoying bug, but he didn’t want to be rude. She continued, “I don’t think we’ve ever officially met. You served me drinks a couple times at Belly Up. Don’t you still work there? What tour? Are you in a band? I always wanted to be in a band.”
Helen worked at Belly Up Saloon as a waitress and part-time bartender whenever she wasn’t on the road. At one point or another she’d probably served half the town a drink of some sort. Everyone seemed to end up at Belly Up for one occasion or another. It was the only real tavern for miles.
She gave Jenny a quick handshake, then let go. No smile. Her reaction to Jenny was as cold as ice on a frozen lake. “Nice to meet you.” She turned to Colt with a concerned look on her face. “Can we talk?”
But Jenny answered. “Sure. Why don’t we sit down on one of the benches on the front porch. It’s nice and shady there.”
Colt moved away from Jenny’s grip on his arm. “If you’ll excuse me, Jenny. This is between Helen and me.”
Jenny tilted her head, smiled sweetly and said, “Sure. Don’t you worry about me. I’ll be fine. Just fine. I’ll wait for you on the porch.”
She walked away, leaving an awkward silence between Colt and Helen. They both started talking at once. Colt trying to tell her that he just met Jenny today, but his words seemed garbled as he attempted to speak over Helen, who was asking if Jenny was his new girlfriend, a concept that stunned Colt.
Finally they both stopped.
“You first,” Colt said.
Helen hesitated for a moment, then said, “That’s one brave little boy you have there.”
“More like ornery and pigheaded if you ask me.”
“Like his father.”
“And his father before him. What brings you back to Briggs? Shouldn’t you be in Vegas, competing?”
“Actually, Tater’s still there. I’m having him transported in a couple days. Something’s happened and I’m on my way to Jackson to stay with my parents for a while, but I wanted to stop here first and...”
His stomach pitched as he took a step closer and reached out for her. She stepped back, away from his touch. “Are you okay? What’s wrong? Something wrong with your parents?”
She completely befuddled him. His mind raced with scenarios. None of them good.
“Nothing like that.” She glanced over at Jenny, now seated on the front porch. “Is there someplace private?”
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