“Are you having second thoughts?”
She sighed. “Tanner, my parents have been married for thirty-seven years. In my family we don’t take marriage lightly. It’s not something we do for the short-term. My parents have always taken their vows seriously and I want the same thing.”
He tightened his grip on the wheel, not quite sure where she was going with this. “Your dad and I had a similar conversation.”
“You did?”
Tanner nodded, but he kept his eyes on the road. “We did. He said basically the same thing that you just said. I told him I’m taking this serious, too. I came from a broken home and I know the kind of hell divorce puts kids through. I don’t want that for my kid. I want my child to have a traditonal family with all the emotional advantages a mother and father who live together provide. Why do you think I’ve been so persistent?”
She was quiet and he glanced over at her to try and read her expression, but she was staring at her fingernails, picking at her nail polish. Her hair had fallen forward over her shoulder and was casting shadows on her face.
“What are you thinking?” he asked.
She put her hands in her lap. “I’m thinking that neither one of us knows what the future holds. So, I’m thinking if we’re going to do this…if we’re going to get married, we need to have some rules. I know you don’t love me—”
Love her? It had been so long since he’d contemplated the possibility of being in love that he didn’t even know if he remembered what love was.
She continued, “I can’t make a life with someone unless we can guarantee that we’re going to be exclusive. Otherwise, it would just be too hard—especially if we’re going to live together like man and wife and raise a family together.”
Hmm… He hadn’t even thought about that. Truth was he’d been so wrapped up in the flight school, he hadn’t had time to date. Come to think of it, he couldn’t remember the last woman—before Jordana—who’d affected him like she did.
“I’m fine with that. In fact, it’s kind of a no-brainer. We honor our marriage, our marriage vows. I don’t think I could live any other way. Does that make you feel better?”
He heard her sharp intake of breath, as if she wanted to say something else, but had stopped.
“Talk to me,” he said. “One of my nonnegotiables is you have to promise me complete honesty. I’m not a mind reader.” He hadn’t meant for that to come out sounding so harsh. So, he tempered it with, “The only way I’m going to know what you want is if you tell me, okay?”
She nodded. “Okay, then the other thing is…since we barely know each other, I think we need to allow each other an escape clause.”
“What do you mean?” A gamut of perplexing emotions flooded through him. One minute she was talking about being true and how hard her parents had worked at making their marriage work, now she was negotiating an escape clause?
“What I mean is we hardly know each other and we’re talking about taking a step that people who have known each other for years agonize over. Think about it…what if we get married and we end up being incompatible?”
Honey, you and I are way too compatible. That’s what got us into this situation. He almost had to bite his tongue to keep himself from speaking his thoughts, because he didn’t want to pressure her or make her uncomfortable.
So instead, he said, “I’m not sure I follow you.”
“What I’m saying, plain and simple, is if we get married and in the first year one of us feels as if the situation isn’t working—for any reason—that person is free to walk away.”
A disposable marriage? Those were the first words that came to mind as he tried to digest her suggestion. The next thoughts felt like someone had dropped a heavy weight in his gut: Was this the approach his father had taken when it came to marriage and family? Obviously, he’d stuck around long enough to father three kids, but not long after his little sister was born, their father was long gone. Tanner hadn’t heard from him or anything of him in a good twenty years.
“I don’t know, Jordana. That makes it sound way too easy to just walk away.”
“Well, my thought is if one of us finds the marriage so unpalatable—in the first year… I’m not suggesting we keep this escape clause active forever. Only the first year. And if one of us finds it impossible to stay in that first year, then they should be free to go.”
Tanner was shaking his head before he even realized what he was doing.
“An unhappy home is no place to raise a child,” Jordana said.
Tanner flipped on his blinker and checked traffic before merging into the right lane to take the exit that led to Jordana’s condo. He flipped on his left blinker and stopped at the red traffic light at the bottom of the off-ramp.
While he waited for the signal to change he turned and faced her. “All I’m saying is I think that makes it way too easy to walk away without trying.”
“Tanner, I can guarantee you that if I marry you I’m going to do everything in my power to make this marriage work—”
“And I am, too. So I really don’t understand why this escape clause is such a big deal.” He was raising his voice again, and he took a deep breath to calm himself down.
She blinked at him for a moment, looking a little stunned.
Finally, she said, “I think this is the perfect example of why we need it. If we’re at a stalemate over this and we’re not even married…that doesn’t bode well at all. I won’t marry you unless you grant me that provision.”
* * *
The light turned green and Tanner drove the car through the intersection without answering her. Jordana could see the ticking in his jaw and she knew he wasn’t happy with her stipulation.
She wasn’t trying to be defeatist or approach this marriage like it was doomed before it even started. She just wanted a little insurance.
“You know,” she said, “you could look at it from the standpoint that having an escape clause might make us work even harder to make things right. That way, there would be no reason for one of us to exercise that option.”
He was quiet as he drove and she couldn’t tell if he was thinking or ignoring her. So, she honored his silence and rode the rest of the way without saying anything else. She could only hope that he didn’t mistake her silence for wavering on her stance. Without his agreement, there would be no wedding.
This was the deal breaker, and if he couldn’t give her this, then they probably wouldn’t be able to live together, anyway.
Her sorrow at the thought of this formed a big painful knot in her chest. She rested her hands on her stomach, reinforcing that she was doing the right thing, despite the thought of how close she’d been to having Tanner, but instead, ending up alone…again.
When the knot loosened and dissipated, she was surprised by how empty she felt.
A few minutes later, Tanner steered the car into the spot in front of Jordana’s condo. Unsure of where they stood, she decided to give him tonight to think about things. He hadn’t officially proposed yet. He’d had a lot thrown on him tonight—a huge dose of the reality of what it would be like to involve himself with the Fortunes.
If nothing else, it underscored that they weren’t an easy clan to assimilate into.
Maybe tonight had scared him off…well, she’d know soon enough.
“Good night, Tanner. Thank you for being a good sport about the dinner with my parents. No matter what happens between us, you’ll be at least an indirect member of this family since you’ll be actively involved in our baby’s life. I know you have a lot to think about. So, I’ll leave you to do just that.”
She pulled her keys from her purse and started to open the car door.
“Jordana, please wait.” Tanner’s hand gently held on to her arm. “I know you’re tired, b
ut I want to make sure we’re clear on a couple of things before we say good-night.”
Jordana let go of the door handle and settled back into the car seat. He was right, she was bone tired, but knowing she might have a clearer understanding of where her future stood—what their future held—made her adrenaline rush.
Ever familiar with the negotiating philosophy of He who speaks first gives away the position of power, she sat there quietly waiting for Tanner to say what was on his mind.
She remembered how he’d kissed her earlier and how she’d fouled that up by pulling away. Regret hung over her like a shadow.
She wanted a do-over, but if their kiss in her parents’ driveway had been bad timing, now—as they negotiated their future—would be ridiculous. He was such a good-looking guy. A great guy who could have his choice of women, she was sure. Here she was, looking at their coming together as a negotiation. Not very romantic. The problem was, she could see the errors in hindsight, but she didn’t have enough experience to stop herself before she made the faux pas.
If this were business, instincts would guide her. But in matters of love she didn’t have a clue.
So what did he see in her? She wasn’t beautiful like her sisters. They got the looks; she got the brains. Well, Emily had gotten her fair share of both, but while her sisters were comfortable in their own skin, Jordana had always been more confident in her aptitude. Books and grades were something she could control. The human heart, however, was fickle and flighty. And unreliable. Especially hers. One minute it told her to do one thing—to not kiss Tanner in her parents’ driveway—then the next minute it was telling her she’d made a mistake. She hated this uncertainty. Frankly, she was only trying to protect herself from getting hurt.
Tanner cleared his throat. “I’ve been thinking about what you said a few minutes ago. Are you afraid you won’t be able to stick it out in this marriage? Because for me, it’s a no-brainer.”
A no-brainer?
He must have seen the question in her eyes. “What I mean is, when I say ’til death do us part, I will mean it.”
There was so much conviction in his voice, in his face. She wanted to believe him.
“But the more I thought about it,” he continued, “the more I realized I can’t force you to stay if your heart’s not in it.”
Now he was talking about hearts… Her stomach did an odd swoop and drop.
“So, I’ll give you your two nonnegotiables if you’ll give me one.”
Jordana nodded to indicate she was listening, hoping against hope that what he was about to say wouldn’t be the final straw that would end them in a stalemate.
“A little matter came up this evening when I was talking to your father. I wanted to discuss it with you before he mentioned it. Obviously, one of us will have to relocate. Since my business is established in Red Rock, I was hoping you’d be willing to move. Your father said he would be willing to let you telecommute.”
That was his nonnegotiable? Jordana bit the inside of her cheek to keep herself from smiling. Another hard, fast business principle was to keep a poker face—especially when you were getting exactly what you wanted. Yesterday’s conversation with her mother replayed in her head. To make matters less socially awkward, she and her mother had agreed on a quiet, simple wedding and Jordana’s relocating to Red Rock to have the baby. But Tanner didn’t need to know that.
“I know I mentioned it briefly when I first arrived, but at that point we hadn’t even established that I’d be an active part of the baby’s life. I just want to make sure you were onboard with moving. Since you weren’t a fan of me going to your father to ask for your hand, I wanted you to know this came up tonight. I didn’t want you to misconstrue the conversation I had with him tonight.”
“So, let me get this straight,” she said. “If I agree to move to Red Rock, you’ll agree to monogamy and the escape clause?”
“Yes, that’s right.”
Rule number three was never give in too easily.
“Well, given that you haven’t formally proposed yet—” she held up her naked left hand and wiggled her fingers “—I’ll think about it and give you my answer once you do.”
She knew she was being a bitch, and it was all she could do to force the words out. Her heart was pounding, as if kicking her for not leaning into him and kissing him and saying, Yes! Of course! That’s exactly what I want.
But her head was insisting if she didn’t make it easy on him, maybe he would decide this arrangement was too much trouble and change his mind now.
Better to lose him now than after she’d lost her heart to him.
As it stood, she was already three-quarters of the way gone.
Chapter Six
At seven o’clock the next morning, Tanner’s cell phone rang as he was getting ready to leave his hotel room to get breakfast. John Michael Fortune was on the line, informing him that he and his wife had further discussed Tanner and Jordana’s predicament and they had agreed that it would be best if Tanner and Jordana were married before she left Atlanta and moved away to Red Rock.
“My concern isn’t that you won’t do the right thing by my daughter. It’s just the opposite. I’m afraid that Jordana might get cold feet if you didn’t make an honest woman out of her while you have the chance.”
Tanner tossed his keys on the table by the door and sat on the edge of the bed, unsure where John Michael was heading with this conversation and hating the uncertainty that all this talk about trust had sparked. Tanner’s father hadn’t been trustworthy, hadn’t kept his promise to his own family. No. Being a dirtbag and running when the going got tough wasn’t a gene passed down in the DNA. Staying and keeping promises was a choice, not an inevitable part of one’s biological makeup.
If Fortune believed in him, he had to believe in himself.
Tanner cleared his throat.
“You trust me, but you don’t trust your own daughter?”
Fortune harrumphed. “She’s quiet and levelheaded most of the time. But she has a stubborn streak stronger than the stink of a skunk on an old coon dog.”
Tanner chuckled at the dry way Fortune had ground out the colloquialism. But a few seconds later he was sobered by the thought that he had already glimpsed that side of her. It had been harder than roping a wild steer when it came to pinning down Jordana about the baby; and then there was the case of her not bending an inch when it came to that damn escape clause she’d insisted on before she would agree to marry him.
He’d been so concerned about making sure he didn’t follow in his old man’s footsteps, he hadn’t really considered the possibility of her running away. However, until they said I do he supposed there was always the chance that she might. Of course, there was the possibility that she might run after they were married, too, but it would be a lot more difficult to leave once the marriage was signed and sealed.
“Nah, we’ve talked and I’m not worried about her changing her mind. So, I think we’re good. All that’s left is she wants a traditional proposal. So, no need to worry.”
Not to mention, he planned on making Jordana and their child so happy that she would never feel the need to exercise that option. He would make sure he gave his child the kind of home his father never cared enough to give him and his siblings.
“Good,” said John Michael. “I’m glad you’re so confident. Even so, I think we need a little insurance policy. There’s a place about seventy miles outside of Atlanta. It’s called Château Enchantée. I want you to take my daughter to the resort for a couple of nights, have dinner, formally propose to her like she wants and then you can get married the following evening. My wife will arrange all the details of the wedding for you so all you’ll need to do is show up.”
Sounded like everything already had been arranged. Tanner gritted his teeth and
wondered if his future in-laws would try to run their lives once he and Jordana were in Red Rock.
“It’ll be a surprise for Jordana. You’re both busy. You have a lot on your plates with work, the move and the baby on the way. As I said, frankly, we would prefer that you tied the knot sooner rather than later. And we intend to make sure things are as easy as possible for you to do that.”
In other words, they were arranging this to ensure it got done how and when Mama and Papa Fortune wanted it. Tanner was becoming an expert at deciphering John Michael Fortune–speak. He was also learning that the man didn’t take no for an answer. Tanner wondered how the man was going to react once some firm boundaries were erected.
“I don’t know about this—” But Fortune obviously hadn’t heard him because he put Virginia on the phone, or maybe he thought he could wear Tanner down by tag teaming him.
“Tanner?” Her Southern accent made his name sound like Tanna. “Hi, honey, I just wanted to let you know that the wedding will happen right there at Château Enchantée. Does that sound good to you?”
“I’m not sure,” he said. “I don’t know anything about this place. Is it something Jordana would choose?”
“Trust me, hon, it will be fine.”
Cradling the phone between his ear and his shoulder, he moved from the bed to the desk and did an internet search where he discovered this Château Enchantée joint was an Americanized knockoff of a French castle. They specialized in “storybook weddings,” or so the website proclaimed.
The words cookie cutter and prefabbed seemed an apt substitute for storybook, but he kept the thought to himself as Virginia carried on about various restaurants in the resort where he could make a reservation for the proposal dinner and how she thought it would be best to book two rooms for the night before the ceremony—one for each of them. “Because you know how people love to talk. Now, what y’all do once you get there is your own business. I don’t want to know.” Her laugh sounded nervous.
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