He parked in front of Audrey’s house and got an eerie feeling. Although it wasn’t near dark in mid-August, the closed blinds and absence of indoor lights gave the house a deserted appearance. Marilyn had cautioned him not to park on the street, but in his or Audrey’s garage. He couldn’t enter the garage and had no choice but to leave the car to ring Audrey’s bell, which he did with his hand on the bell and an eye on his BMW. He rang several times and waited. And waited. Finally, he went back to his car, got in, and waited there.
Six-thirty came and went, and then the shadows of trees and houses melted in the twilight. His heart began to race. Staving off fear, he used his cellular phone to call Marilyn’s office but, for his trouble, he got her voice mail. He hung up and called Lena.
He didn’t want to shock her by asking whether Audrey had called, so he said, “I’ll be a bit late,” knowing she’d tell him if Audrey had called.
“Don’t worry ’bout us, Colonel,” Lena said. “Ricky and me just finished some of that good old frozen peach yogurt I keep in the freezer. We ain’t hungry right now.”
That was the least of his worries. Lena could be counted on to feed Ricky and herself. He hung up and loosened his collar as sweat streamed from his pores. If anything had happened to her, it would be because of him, and he didn’t know if he could face that. Besides, she gave his life new meaning. She was... He shook his head. She was so important to him.
If only he had the security code, he could find out where she was or whether she was in danger. But non-NSS personnel weren’t allowed to have that code. He’d never felt so useless. Somewhere she might in trouble, needing him. He pounded the steering wheel with his fist.
In the rearview mirror he saw the headlights of a car approach, turned on the BMW’s ignition and locked his windows in case he had to move in a hurry. His anxiety increased when the car pulled to a stop behind him, and he prepared for a confrontation. A second car drove up and parked across the street, and when he saw the government seal on its side, he turned off the ignition, jumped from his car and headed for the one behind him.
As he approached, she unlocked her door. He didn’t wait for her to open it, but nearly yanked it from its hinges, lifted her from the car and into his arms. “I was on my way out of my mind because I thought they’d gotten you. Baby, I’ve been crazy.”
“I didn’t have your cell-phone number, so I couldn’t call you. I knew you’d worry, and I wouldn’t have put you through this for anything if I could have avoided it, but I had an emergency with a patient. Honey, the guard’s parked over there. Shouldn’t you put me down?”
“The hell with him. If he’d experienced what I went through this past hour, he wouldn’t give a damn about me, either. Besides, where’s the law that says you can’t kiss me if it’s what I want?”
At last she smiled. He brushed her lips with his own, then stared into her face. “I think we’d better leave it at that. They’re waiting for us at home, and I’ve got a lot to tell you, so let’s go inside. Do whatever you have to do, but I’d like to leave as soon as possible.”
“Am I coming back here tonight?” Her frank and open expression nearly unglued him. She would stay at his home if he asked her to, but he knew she wouldn’t sleep in his bed so long as her aunt slept in the adjoining room. And he’d been tested enough for one day.
“I’ll bring you home.”
* * *
After dinner and with Ricky asleep, he took Audrey’s hand and walked with her to the deck in the back of his house. If he had chosen that night, that time, and that place to declare his love to this woman, it couldn’t have been more idyllic, he decided as they sat on the sofa that rocked like a swing. And what an awesome place to make love.
“It’s beautiful here,” she said. “Lovely moon, stars, and this wonderful garden. Even the freshly mowed grass smells clean and fresh.”
“Don’t misunderstand me,” he said, “but, I was thinking, what a moment for lovemaking!”
“Hmm,” she said, and crossed her knee. “Nothing wrong with that.” She locked her hands behind her head. Open. Accessible. I’d better straighten out my mind.
He sat closer to her. “I want to tell you about today.” After relating what he knew of Ricky’s and Lena’s experiences, along with the story of the cell of criminals and their fate, he added, “So you may imagine what I thought when you came home an hour late. It isn’t known whether there are any more members of that group, but in the meantime, we have to keep this vigil.”
“I’m stunned. The entire scenario had begun to annoy me. In fact, this gal was getting a mean streak, but what you’ve told me shames me.”
“Can’t say I blame you,” he said. “All I want is to know we’re together. I believe we are or can be, but sometimes, like right now, I don’t feel a real intimacy with you. I don’t quite understand it. Maybe it’s because we need to know each other better. I want that.”
Her voice, soft and very feminine, melted some of his hard spots, the something within him that had always resisted being understood. Yes, and loved. He was unprepared for her response.
She seemed to consider his words for a time before she said, “Secrets get in the way of intimacy. When we know each other well, maybe you won’t feel this way.”
So at ease with him. Relaxed and comfortable. He wanted to... He wanted to lose himself in her, to give himself to her. For a brief, poignant moment, she gazed into his eyes. Then she smiled, and his blood pounded in his ears and his belly knotted into a figure eight. Her lips, full and pouting, begged for his tongue, and he sucked in his breath. Desire washed through him with stunning force, and he told himself to get it under control.
However, her lips parted and, zombielike, she moved to him, wrapped her hands around his head and brought his mouth to her open lips. He heard his groans as he touched her and his tongue shoved into her mouth. He wanted to possess her, but she stroked his face with gentle hands while sucking on his tongue. Slow. Teasing. Letting him know what her body had in store for him. She placed his hand on her left breast, and he told himself to stop it right there, but when her fingers pinched his flat pectoral as a signal for what she needed, he thrust his hand into her blouse, released her breast, and bent to it.
“Oh, Lord,” she moaned as he tugged and sucked at it.
By some miracle, he remembered where they were, sat back, and breathed deeply for a few minutes. “I knew better than to start that,” he was finally able to say.
“I did, too, but I said, ‘What the heck, I need it.’”
He buttoned her blouse. “I don’t even want to think about that. We’d better go or you’ll have a second sleepless night.”
“Nothing’s guaranteed, especially not tonight, after what we’ve been through today. Ready when you are.”
He stood, held out his hand and, when she rose, he kissed her forehead. “You’re turning my life around, and the peculiar thing is that I don’t mind. I feel good with you.” When she said nothing, he asked her, “Do I bring anything special to your life?”
Both of her arms went around his waist, and she pressed her head to his shoulder. Her fingers stroked his back and she held him close. Through his jacket and shirt, with the most gentle of caresses, her lips warmed his shoulder. The tenderness. The sweetness. Pure joy raced through his every sinew. There was no desire, no passion in the way she held him. But what she felt seeped into his heart, and he knew without a doubt that no other woman had ever truly loved him, that to the woman who held him he was the essence of her life.
With his arm around her, he walked through the kitchen to the garage door. “I’m taking you home, but I want you to know that I’d rather eat crayfish. And, Audrey, the sight of crayfish makes me ill.”
Her laughter wrapped around him like warm spring breeze. “We’ll have our time, or at least I hope so. I left the exercises on the tab
le in the foyer. Okay?”
“Thanks. I’ll start them as soon as I get back home.” After backing the BMW out of the garage and closing the door, he looked in his rearview mirror and shook his head. “If either one of us ever gets brought up on a morals charge, the Feds will be the first ones on the witness stand.”
She leaned back in the soft leather seat and folded her arms beneath her bosom. “In that case, let’s give them something to talk about.”
He checked out her house—though with the guards in constant attendance he didn’t think it necessary—kissed her quickly before the old demon desire could get a headway, and left her. Driving home, he realized that he was almost happy. He still faced some mountains, but right then, they didn’t seem so rugged or so high.
* * *
Audrey noticed the light flashing on her answering machine and pressed the replay button. “What’s the point in having a big sister if she’s not around when you need her? Call me when you get in, no matter what time it is, or whenever tall, tan and terrific goes home.”
She recognized Winifred’s distress signal and dialed her number. “What’s the matter, sis? Is it Ryan?”
“I’ve been calling you all night. I told Ryan I’d go away with him this weekend, and now I’m scared to death. Maybe Pam’s right that I should wait till I get married. But I don’t want to do that. Audrey, I’m insane crazy about the guy.”
She sat down beside the telephone table and kicked off her shoes. What she needed right then was a Chupa Chups. “Honey, it’s my feeling that you’re talking to the wrong person about this. If you’re scared, the person who should know this is Ryan.”
“What? Why? I don’t want him to think I’m naive. Ryan’s a man of the world.”
“Look, you cut that out right now. Posturing is stupid. Let him know what you feel, think, want and need. He wants to make you happy, and he can’t do that if you don’t level with him. How would you feel if he led you to think he was one person and you discovered he was someone else? You’d be ready to die. Trust me, I’ve been there.”
“You mean I should let him know that I’m twenty-seven and scared to go to bed with him?”
“Wendy, if you told him you’re a virgin, you can tell him anything. Pam said he’s besotted with you, that the chemistry between you two is so strong anybody can see it with the naked eye.”
“He does love me. I know it. It’s just that I’m...I’m afraid I won’t please him.”
Audrey nearly laughed. “That pleasing business is a mutual thing. Besides, there’s little chance you won’t, unless you throw a pillowcase over your face and lock your knees. Call him right now and tell him you can’t wait for the weekend, but you’re also scared to death.”
“That’s true. How’d you know all this? Uh-oh. The colonel has made his mark. Right on, sis! Hmm. Thanks. I’m going to call Ryan right this minute. Bye.”
She hung up and reached into her pocketbook for a Chupa Chups. There was something about sucking on that lollipop that was as comforting as warm water on her naked skin. Winifred had a right to be nervous; nobody had invented a way of getting a periscope view of a man’s mind, to say nothing of his intentions. Who was she to give her sister advice when she hadn’t been so careful herself? And now she had once more laid herself open to possible pain and deception. What was she going to do if Nelson deceived her?
Logic had replaced feelings. Gone was the euphoric world that had enveloped her earlier as she locked her arms around her lover and told him without words that he was everything to her. Torn between the impulse to kick herself and the inclination to telephone Nelson for no reason other than to hear his voice, she did neither. She went into her kitchen, a place where she spent as little time as possible, mixed up a batch of chocolate fudge and threw several handfuls of pecans into it. Somebody—she hardly cared who—was going to eat a lot of chocolate fudge candy.
Having worked the anxiety out of her system, she showered, slid into bed and luxuriated in the feel of satin sheets against her naked body. Sleep came quickly.
* * *
“This is McCafferty,” the voice said when Nelson punched his intercom button. “Just wanted you to know I’m working on reassignments. You’re one of the officers who may be returned to Afghanistan. Just thought I’d let you know in view of all these other...er...things you’re dealing with right now.”
“Thanks for letting me know. Any idea how soon?”
“I’d say six weeks at the latest.”
As much as he wanted to go back there, he didn’t welcome that news. How could he leave his family and Audrey while they remained vulnerable to harm by criminals as yet not fully identified? He locked his office door, went back to his desk and put on the hard surgical collar that he kept locked in the drawer. Before leaving home that morning, he’d tried the exercises Audrey gave him, and they eased the pain, but he didn’t expect them to give long-term relief until he’d being doing them for a while.
Audrey. He propped his elbows on his desk and supported his head with his hands. He shouldn’t go much further with her unless he meant to make it permanent. But she seemed either unable or unwilling to open herself to him. She could do that in bed, and the previous night without saying a word she had communicated what she felt for him. But he sensed nonetheless that he didn’t know her. He had no idea what was guaranteed to make her smile, laugh, dance, cry, sulk. What hurt her, and what did she want desperately other than a private practice? Had she ever done anything that shamed her, frightened her, plagued her? He wanted to open himself to her that way, but she didn’t seem to need it.
The pain eased, and he returned the collar to the drawer, locked it and then unlocked his office doors. A plan formed in his mind. He needed to spend time with Audrey away from their day-to-day surroundings and problems. If NSS wanted to follow them and stake out their idyll, let them.
* * *
Audrey looked through her drawer for a pair of sheer gray stockings that she thought suited her purple linen suit more than off-black stockings would. If she’d had purple hose, she wouldn’t have worn them. As she rummaged through the drawer, her gaze fell on a packet of letters, brown with age, that she’d never forced herself to burn. Not that she was emotionally attached to them; she wasn’t. She had kept them for going on six years as a reminder of her hatred of Gerald Latham. She was tempted to read once more his words of undying love and faithfulness to her. And she would have, had not the grandfather clock in her upstairs hallway warned her that she had less than an hour to dress and get downtown to the hospital.
All the way to work, she fought the hatred that seeing those letters awakened in her, and swallowed once more the bitter bile of shame she had felt when she heard his awful confession—five minutes after they had made love for the first and only time, after he had just spilled himself into her.
Still wrapped in her arms, he’d said, “I sure hope you didn’t get pregnant, because I can’t marry you. Maybe I should have told you the truth, but I wanted you so badly. I’m married, and my wife is expecting our third child in a couple of weeks.”
Stunned to the point of temporary insanity, she’d pushed him off her and pummeled his face with her fist. As he ran from her bedroom, she had jerked the lamp on her night table from the wall socket and flung it at him, just missing his back. She didn’t know when he left her house, and when she stopped crying the next morning, she told herself that he would pay. And he would. She wasn’t a psychologist, but she knew that the way she felt about Gerald stood between her and Nelson. Indeed, she didn’t even let herself love Ricky with a full heart for fear that love would someday be a source of pain.
* * *
“You have a new patient at ten this morning,” her receptionist said, as Audrey walked through the reception room on her way to her office.
“Thanks. Who made the referral?”
; “Dr. Adams over at Children’s Hospital. First time he’s sent us a patient. The boy is nine years old.”
Her first patient of the day had made remarkable progress in a short time because she exerted every effort to perform the exercises and took pride in her achievements. “Good morning, Ms. Hamilton. Did you follow the regimen this past week?”
“Yes, ma’am. I done every single thing you told me just like you said do it. And I done them all the time, whenever I was by myself.”
“Good. Would that all of my patients were as diligent as you.”
“If them few exercises is gon’ stop me from hurtin’, I’d be plain stupid not to do ’em.”
And it showed. Audrey reduced the women’s frequency of visits from weekly to biweekly and, as usual, accepted one-fourth of her normal fee. The woman was a single mother of four children and worked nights cleaning offices at low pay. She noted the woman’s condition in her file and prepared for the next patient.
Promptly at ten, her receptionist opened the door and in walked a familiar-looking young boy and an attractive African-American woman, tall with straight black hair, fine features and a very fair complexion. Audrey sized her up as fashion-conscious, wealthy and privileged from birth.
“How do you do, Dr. Powers,” she said, extending her hand. “Thanks for agreeing to see my son on such short notice. I’m Doris Latham.”
I’m getting daffy, Audrey said to herself as she shook the woman’s hand. Those letters I saw have me thinking she said her name was Latham.
“How do you do,” she said aloud. “Please have a seat. I need to ask you a few questions.”
“Here’s her file, Dr. Powers,” Audrey’s receptionist said, as she placed the file on the desk and left the office.
She ran her gaze over the file and nearly sprained her neck in a quick double take. As luck would have it, she was looking away from Doris Latham when she saw the name on the file—Gerald Latham Junior—and the woman didn’t see her sharp intake of breath.
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