The Comedy of Errors

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The Comedy of Errors Page 23

by Kent Cartwright


  By Dromio here, who came in haste for it.

  85

  DROMIO OF EPHESUS

  Money by me? – Heart and good will you might,

  But surely, master, not a rag of money.

  ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS

  Went’st not thou to her for a purse of ducats?

  ADRIANA

  He came to me, and I delivered it.

  LUCIANA

  And I am witness with her that she did.

  90

  DROMIO OF EPHESUS

  God and the rope-maker bear me witness

  That I was sent for nothing but a rope.

  PINCH

  Mistress, both man and master is possessed:

  I know it by their pale and deadly looks.

  They must be bound and laid in some dark room.

  95

  ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS

  [to Adriana] Say wherefore didst thou lock me forth today?

  [to Dromio] And why dost thou deny the bag of gold?

  ADRIANA

  I did not, gentle husband, lock thee forth.

  DROMIO OF EPHESUS

  And, gentle master, I received no gold,

  But I confess, sir, that we were locked out.

  100

  ADRIANA

  Dissembling villain, thou speak’st false in both.

  ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS

  Dissembling harlot, thou art false in all,

  And art confederate with a damned pack

  To make a loathsome, abject scorn of me;

  But with these nails I’ll pluck out those false eyes

  105

  That would behold in me this shameful sport. [Threatens Adriana.]

  ADRIANA

  O, bind him, bind him! Let him not come near me!

  PINCH

  More company!

  Enter three or four and offer to bind him. He strives.

  The fiend is strong within him.

  LUCIANA

  Ay me, poor man, how pale and wan he looks.

  ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS

  What, will you murder me? – Thou, jailer, thou,

  110

  I am thy prisoner: wilt thou suffer them

  To make a rescue?

  OFFICER Masters, let him go:

  He is my prisoner, and you shall not have him.

  PINCH

  Go bind this man, for he is frantic too.

  [They offer to bind Dromio.]

  ADRIANA [to Officer]

  What wilt thou do, thou peevish officer?

  115

  Hast thou delight to see a wretched man

  Do outrage and displeasure to himself?

  OFFICER

  He is my prisoner; if I let him go,

  The debt he owes will be required of me.

  ADRIANA

  I will discharge thee ere I go from thee;

  120

  Bear me forthwith unto his creditor,

  And, knowing how the debt grows, I will pay it.

  – Good Master Doctor, see him safe conveyed

  Home to my house. O, most unhappy day!

  ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS

  O, most unhappy strumpet!

  125

  DROMIO OF EPHESUS

  Master, I am here entered in bond for you.

  ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS

  Out on thee, villain! Wherefore dost thou mad me?

  DROMIO OF EPHESUS Will you be bound for nothing? Be

  mad, good master: cry ‘The devil!’

  LUCIANA

  God help, poor souls! How idly do they talk.

  130

  ADRIANA

  [to Pinch] Go bear him hence. [Exeunt Pinch and his

  men with Antipholus and Dromio of Ephesus.]

  – Sister, go you with me.

  [to Officer] Say now, whose suit is he arrested at?

  OFFICER

  One Angelo, a goldsmith; do you know him?

  ADRIANA

  I know the man. What is the sum he owes?

  OFFICER

  Two hundred ducats.

  ADRIANA Say, how grows it due?

  135

  OFFICER

  Due for a chain your husband had of him.

  ADRIANA

  He did bespeak a chain for me, but had it not.

  COURTESAN

  Whenas your husband all in rage today

  Came to my house and took away my ring –

  The ring I saw upon his finger now –

  140

  Straight after did I meet him with a chain.

  ADRIANA

  It may be so, but I did never see it.

  – Come, jailer, bring me where the goldsmith is;

  I long to know the truth hereof at large.

  Enter ANTIPHOLUS [OF SYRACUSE,

  wearing the chain,] with his rapier drawn,

  and DROMIO [OF SYRACUSE].

  LUCIANA

  God, for thy mercy! They are loose again.

  145

  ADRIANA

  And come with naked swords! Let’s call more help

  To have them bound again.

  OFFICER Away, they’ll kill us!

  Exeunt [all but Antipholus and Dromio of Syracuse],

  as fast as may be, frighted.

  ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE

  I see these witches are afraid of swords.

  DROMIO OF SYRACUSE

  She that would be your wife now ran from you.

  ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE

  Come to the Centaur; fetch our stuff from thence:

  150

  I long that we were safe and sound aboard.

  DROMIO OF SYRACUSE Faith, s
tay here this night; they

  will surely do us no harm. You saw they speak us

  fair, give us gold: methinks they are such a gentle

  nation that, but for the mountain of mad flesh that

  155

  claims marriage of me, I could find in my heart to

  stay here still and turn witch.

  ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE

  I will not stay tonight for all the town;

  Therefore, away, to get our stuff aboard.

  Exeunt.

  5.1

  Enter the [Second] Merchant and [ANGELO]

  the goldsmith.

  ANGELO

  I am sorry, sir, that I have hindered you,

  But I protest he had the chain of me,

  Though most dishonestly he doth deny it.

  2 MERCHANT

  How is the man esteemed here in the city?

  ANGELO

  Of very reverend reputation, sir,

  5

  Of credit infinite, highly beloved,

  Second to none that lives here in the city;

  His word might bear my wealth at any time.

  Enter ANTIPHOLUS [OF SYRACUSE, wearing the chain,]

  and DROMIO [OF SYRACUSE] again.

  2 MERCHANT

  Speak softly; yonder, as I think, he walks.

  ANGELO

  ’Tis so, and that self chain about his neck

  10

  Which he forswore most monstrously to have.

  Good sir, draw near to me; I’ll speak to him:

  – Signor Antipholus, I wonder much

  That you would put me to this shame and trouble,

  And not without some scandal to yourself,

  15

  With circumstance and oaths so to deny

  This chain which now you wear so openly.

  Beside the charge, the shame, imprisonment,

  You have done wrong to this my honest friend,

  Who, but for staying on our controversy,

  20

  Had hoisted sail and put to sea today.

  This chain you had of me; can you deny it?

  ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE

  I think I had; I never did deny it.

  2 MERCHANT

  Yes, that you did, sir, and forswore it, too.

  ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE

  Who heard me to deny it or forswear it?

  25

  2 MERCHANT

  These ears of mine, thou knowst, did hear thee.

  Fie on thee, wretch! ’Tis pity that thou liv’st

  To walk where any honest men resort.

  ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE

  Thou art a villain to impeach me thus!

  I’ll prove mine honour and mine honesty

  30

  Against thee presently, if thou dar’st stand.

  2 MERCHANT

  I dare, and do defy thee for a villain! They draw.

  Enter ADRIANA, LUCIANA,

  Courtesan and others [with ropes].

  ADRIANA

  Hold, hurt him not, for God’s sake; he is mad!

  Some get within him, take his sword away.

  Bind Dromio too, and bear them to my house.

  35

  DROMIO OF SYRACUSE

  Run, master, run; for God’s sake, take a house!

  This is some priory; in, or we are spoiled!

  Exeunt [Antipholus and Dromio of Syracuse]

  to the priory.

  Enter [Emilia, the] Lady ABBESS.

  ABBESS

  Be quiet, people. Wherefore throng you hither?

  ADRIANA

  To fetch my poor distracted husband hence;

  Let us come in, that we may bind him fast

  40

  And bear him home for his recovery.

  ANGELO

  I knew he was not in his perfect wits.

  2 MERCHANT

  I am sorry now that I did draw on him.

  ABBESS

  How long hath this possession held the man?

  ADRIANA

  This week he hath been heavy, sour, sad,

  45

  And much different from the man he was;

  But till this afternoon his passion

  Ne’er broke into extremity of rage.

  ABBESS

  Hath he not lost much wealth by wrack of sea?

  Buried some dear friend? Hath not else his eye

  50

  Strayed his affection in unlawful love? –

  A sin prevailing much in youthful men,

  Who give their eyes the liberty of gazing.

  Which of these sorrows is he subject to?

  ADRIANA

  To none of these, except it be the last,

  55

  Namely, some love that drew him oft from home.

  ABBESS

  You should for that have reprehended him.

  ADRIANA

  Why, so I did.

  ABBESS Ay, but not rough enough.

  ADRIANA

  As roughly as my modesty would let me.

  ABBESS

  Haply, in private.

  ADRIANA And in assemblies, too.

  60

  ABBESS

  Ay, but not enough.

  ADRIANA

 

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