by SK Thomas
“We’ll keep the original schedule then.” I concluded.
“Yes, I think you made the right decision.” He stated before jetting out of the establishment when I heard a bell stopping me dead in my tracks. The door had swung open and closed as he pushed his way through creating a jingling sound. I turned staring at the bell above the door thinking this is a bad omen.
“Jack?” I questioned as my voice cracked.
“C’mon, if you’re done with Father Frisky, we have to get going.” Jack stated not even paying attention. I pushed him out needing to get away from there as soon as possible. We piled back into the car and drove to our next destination.
“Was it me or did he seem to appear out of thin air?”
“The bell on the door”, I stated horrified.
“What did you say?” Jack asked.
“Did you notice a bell on the door when we entered the coffee house? We would have heard him come in the first time with that bell. No one else around, I kept my eyes on the register. How could he order his drink when I couldn’t find anyone? I didn’t hear it jingle.” I rambled in a rapid fire manner trying to process these oddities as chills made their way up and down my back.
“What did he say to you?” Jack questioned.
“Just about our session tonight, I don’t know why he insisted on whispering.”
“Because he wanted a cheap feel, his hands know no boundaries.” Jack joked.
“My shoulder is hardly a cheap feel.”
Jack didn’t say a word as my mind twirled with the idea that maybe we were dealing with more than we bargained for.
“Say again.” Jack insisted.
“I didn’t say anything, but you know why we didn’t notice him? We were consumed and a little obsessed to finally get some comforts of Barrington.”
I could tell his mind started to churn that notion around, not really buying it though.
“It’s ok, Jack. We’re on the right track.”
“Here’s our problem…we’re investigating him because someone hired us to do so, but he might already know why we’re here and if he does then he’ll always be one step ahead of us. Can we get to the bottom of this if he already knows?”
“Here’s a better question. Are these people comfortable taking down their only beloved priest in the area, if it comes to that?” I asked.
“They want to know the truth about him.”
“The truth is always complicated and is never what it seems.” I stated.
“What if these people are wrong? All I know is if he’s not the guy, then he has a good idea who is since he has full access to the confessional.” Jack acknowledged.
I shook my head, “Even if he is our guy, he could lead us on a wild goose chase because of the confessional.”
Back at the coffee house the man behind the counter asked, “Was that them?”
“Most definitely, thanks for all your help. We might’ve already spooked them off.” Father Clayton confided.
Later that night, I headed over for another session. As half of me tingled uncomfortably scared of what could possibly happen, the other part almost looked forward to it.
I considered the notion he has just as much need to confide in someone as I did, but there’s something about getting privileged information and juicy scandalous tidbits direct from a priest behind closed doors not many people get a peek into. However, I still thought about our run in at the coffee house.
“So tell me what it was like, your marriage to a man like John?” Father Clayton asked.
“In the beginning, it was us against the world. He wined and dined me, dealt with issues in my life so I didn’t have to and really made me feel like a princess. Later in the relationship, came the extreme highs and lows with nothing in between, like a rollercoaster.”
“Do you care to expand on that?” he asked.
“I’m not really sure. He ended up being everything to me, the security I never experienced as a kid. He was my lover, husband, best friend and taught me a great deal about the business world. But Jack is always eager to point out he’s not the guy I have built him up to be in my head. He had his own problems, sometimes putting me into precarious situations for his own benefit. It’s hard to know how or what to feel about him anymore, confusing.”
“This could be part of the grieving process, several stages are involved. It’s understandable you still love him but you need to start thinking about moving on. I can get some handouts to help and then somehow you have to make peace with it, even with all this controversy surrounding your relationship, you still lost him.”
“I remember when I used to lie in bed at night so scared of the possibility of losing him and your right, now he’s gone.”
“Where does Jack come into the picture besides promising to help you through this?”
“What do you mean?” I questioned.
“Is he consoling you? You know, maybe more than a friend.”
“No, he’s like a brother.” I said almost offended where he was taking this. I hated reliving my past for these sessions as it throttled me back into a bad place and I desperately desired to change the subject. “This picture on the wall, I noticed it the other day. Where’d you get this taken?”
“Photographers come around and update them for directories.”
“The blue background brings out your eyes, Father.”
“I took pleasure the other day when you called me Colin, its acceptable in certain situations.”
“I’m not sure that’s a good habit to start, when I get comfortable with someone I forget boundaries, what if I slip in public?”
“I’ll simply correct you. I can explain myself out of quite a bit these days.”
That last statement left a lot to be desired considering what Jack and I were trying to accomplish. I needed to throw some curve balls at him to get a fix on his reactions, which will assist me later when he’s really under pressure to gauge his tells.
“You seem down all of a sudden, what’s going on?” He asked.
“It’s just hard reliving the past with all these memories coming through.”
“Well this is the stuff you have to put away and move on from. Do you remember Marjorie’s wedding? You were there and we shared a dance together. Good memories, those are the ones you need to hold onto and remember.”
“Yeah, it was nice. Listen, there’s something else on my mind. I’ve heard people talking around town.”
“We’ve already been through this. There are always rumors in these small towns, but what in particular would you like to discuss.”
“This one is different this time, it’s serious.” I admitted.
“Ok, lay it on me then.”
“Just remember, I am only the messenger.”
“I don’t have time for this, tell me now.” He insisted.
“It involves you and the church, allegations of skimming money from collection trays.”
He blinked hard several times as he leaned back in his chair and brought forth two index fingers resting them on his lips. The ball got slammed into his court and yet no response came as he held a poker face taking his sweet time contemplating his next move. Unnerving as it had become, I held tight studying his every move waiting for a response. He finally spoke, “You know rumors are just that, rubbish. I thought you didn’t care what these people thought?”
“I don’t, of course not, I’d believe you over them any day. But I thought you needed to know.”
“How could I not know? There’s an investigation in process.”
I held my breath uncertain what he knew. Did he know about our investigation and if so how? I looked at him with concern before asking out loud, “What do you mean?”
“You know what I mean. No need to play games.” He held firm in his position.
I lowered my gaze toward the couch on which I sat and took in the pattern of plaid with strong, abundant colors breaking eye contact while trying to switch gears. Still nothing came to mind as I tho
ught, “Damn, he’s good.” I gazed back in his direction letting him know I had no knowledge of what he was talking about.
“If you already know what their accusing me of, then you must have some inclination of the diocese running their own investigation.”
I shook my head in confusion wondering if this is who hired Jack or a whole other situation beyond our knowledge.
“I think our time here is done, you need to go.” He insisted.
“I apologize, I didn’t mean…..”
“I want you out.” He scolded in a strict tone while flinging the door wide open as if he expected a herd of cattle to make their way through.
“Again, I didn’t mean to…”
“Goodnight Melissa.”
I stood out on the street away from his house under a street lamp when it had occurred to me that maybe I should go back, but his voice dictated a punishing tone and my gut instincts told me to leave well enough alone. With his stature, he easily commanded people’s attention. I felt as if I had been reprimanded much like a child. And through it all he was in complete control of his emotions and responses, unlike what I had endured with Max. “What the hell have I gotten myself into?”
Chapter 5 – We Might Be Leaving Sooner Than Expected
“I fucked up.”
“Did I hear you right?”
“You heard me.” I said disheartened.
Jack stared me down concerned what that meant exactly.
“Can we go home now?” I asked unexpectedly.
“No, you need to fill me in.”
“Bottom line, I asked him about the accusations and he certainly didn’t appreciate it. He threw me out onto the street.”
Jack shook his head in disbelief, “He literally threw you out on the street?”
“Pretty much, I mean he didn’t touch me but that’s the gist of it.”
“How could this happen?” Jack asked perplexed.
“We got beyond the formalities, I told him enough to trust me and then I brought up the rumors. He snapped, shut down abruptly. It’s not what I’m used to, what do you do with that?”
“You need to accept that you messed up, apologize and get back in there. Just pick up where you left off and get to the bottom of it. We agreed to do this.”
“He mentioned something about the diocese running an investigation. Are we working for them?”
“He told you that?”
“I couldn’t pull that out of my ass if I tried.” I insisted while staring at the table top wondering if Father Clayton would let me back into his precious world that he covets so much when it occurred to me Jack had already made an exit. I was alone in a white room, left to my own thoughts and unable to guess where my life would take me next. It was up to me to resolve this situation, move forward and it remained crucial to dive headlong into the dark abyss that awaited us. Then somehow, search blindly to uncover the treasure we were intent to find.
I moved on to the lobby, Luann saw me first and immediately informed, “Donuts are over by the coffee…some muffins too. If you want some eggs you’ll have to wait until I can get away.”
“No, what you have will do.”
“So, how yah holding up in this place?” she asked.
“Average, I guess.”
“I’m curious to know, how are the counseling sessions going?”
“Enlightening…”
“Sarcasm will get you nowhere.” She flippantly articulated with a chuckle.
“It’s more of a detour guiding you away from the question, being a private matter, you understand.”
“Honey, nothing around here is private, the sooner you learn that the better off you’ll be.”
With that comment, I closed my eyes for a second to compose my thoughts, the words that came out of her mouth grated on my last nerve. “Let’s get one thing straight, rumors swirl around here like an incessant tornado but the facts are very hard to come by. Secondly, don’t ever call me honey because I can’t stand it. Third, like I said before, it’s private.”
The look on her face was far more priceless than I expected and anyone could’ve knocked her over with a feather.
“Thanks for the food, but I got to go.”
People in this town were closing the gap as they intruded into my personal space. Each one of them had differing opinions and yacked in their circles busting down boundaries with their judgmental attitudes trying to burn someone at the stake. In their eyes, I seemed like a young kid but they had no idea how many times I’ve already been through hell and back. The odds were in my favor.
After leaving the motel, I spotted Colin making his way across the lawn heading for the church. I willfully made a beeline in his direction hoping for the best, prepared for the worst. Once I hit the stairs it was all systems go, biting my lip, pushing myself through the foyer and past the main entrance into the heart of the beast.
“Melissa…” a loud, deep voice echoed throughout bouncing off every wall and crevice like a bullet ricocheting.
I stopped with a little smirk on my face when I heard his voice. He saved me a lot of time searching. But he had yet to make an appearance when his voice again echoed forcefully bouncing off numerous walls, until the third time when I caught a glimpse of him at a doorway near the altar.
“Are you here to help?
“It’s like you read my mind.” I said knowing full well that’s the last idea I’d ever want to think.
“C’mon then, get to work.”
I made my way back to where he waited feeling very small against his magnificence. Some people around here believed in him so much, he almost beckoned to be a character in a tale of folklore. However, it seems I must believe it too because I couldn’t get past my own inferiority when near him. Patiently, I waited for direction.
“I need you to gather the old candles and replace them with new for the lighting ceremony on Sunday. Go and I’ll join you out there in a minute.”
I slowly gathered the items and then began to interchange them hoping the longer I took the less I’d have to do. Soon after, he briskly marched out and came to supervise my duties.
“Good work, now come and follow me, we’ll switch out the bulletins in the pews and be on our way.” He advised.
As calm gently washed over me, I began to have some sense of peace. It began easy enough when I found a minute clearing my head. I stayed in the moment, letting go of the drama and trouble that trailed behind. When reading some of the bulletin it reminded me of Tupelo, it reminded me of Alice. Not the Alice I still talk to, but the one that helped me through childhood angst. I smiled while remembering so many good moments that flew by until she passed away.
“Are you alright?” Father asked breaking me away from my daydream.
“I was just remembering Alice. She lived in Tupelo.” I acknowledged.
“I wasn’t there long enough to really get to know any of them personally.” He said.
“Remembering her made it alright for a minute there.”
“Where is she now?” he asked.
“She passed on several years ago.”
“Maybe she’s looking after you. Have some faith and believe it’ll all work out.”
Whatever happened gave me relief even if only for a short period of time and before I knew it we were done.
“Take a seat; I want to talk to you.” He said while pointing to the exact pew where he thought I should sit. He exhaled as he found a seat next to mine.
“Where do we go from here?” I asked pushing the conversation forward. “You have to understand we’re on the same team here.”
“You’re here to get through your grieving process, that’s our main focus. That’s all that matters.” He acknowledged as he gently placed his hand on mine.
“What about getting to know each other? We both need someone to confide in, don’t push me away.” As those words stumbled out of my mouth he caressed the back of my hand seemingly in the effort to comfort. His touch felt right and the situation ripe fo
r the taking. We exhausted time staring into each other’s gaze, I refused to make the first move. I wanted him to have desire for me when seizing our opportunity. And just like that it was over as we were intruded upon. The side door flew open with glaring light blinding us when a man came barreling in so rudely interrupting.
“Deacon Joseph, I didn’t expect you today.” He said with a hint of question in his voice.
“We have business to attend to.”
“Uh Melissa, this is Joseph.” He uttered while repositioning himself further away from me. “He also lends a helping hand around here.”
“Nice to meet you, I apologize if I interrupted an important meeting.”
“Think nothing of it, also good to meet you.”
The atmosphere changed rapidly as both men challenged each other to make small talk followed by uncomfortable silences in between their lackluster conversation.
“I think I’ll show myself out, so you can attend to business matters.”
“No, don’t be silly, you can stay.”
“It’s better this way. I’m late for another appointment anyway.” I insisted checking the time on my phone.
“If you must, I understand. We can reconvene at a later time.”
Instead of hoofing it all the way back to the front doors, I slinked out the side door for a quick exit. I wanted to escape as stealthily as possible. Off to the side, I heard children laughing in a park area between Father Clayton’s house and the church school during their lunch break. Even though I might want a normal life, I was in no way ready to deal with kids and wanted no part of them at this time. So I headed to the only place I knew would be safe, the bar. The general atmosphere in this town is stillness as most people commute to work outside of county limits. After nighttime falls the general consensus is more silence, so much so it can be hard to sleep, too much peace and quiet can drive a person insane. To make matters worse, I still had no idea where Jack had disappeared to but that was probably for the best.
Back at the church Joseph asked, “Was that her?”
“Yes, you will keep a close eye on her won’t you?”
“It’d be my pleasure.”