by SK Thomas
Those words broke any anticipation I held onto. As we spilled back out into the main entrance of the church, I kept walking without so much as a glance back or a word spoken.
“Melissa?”
Chapter 11 – Keeping Myself Sane
That night I decided to stay up late, watch an old movie on television and try not to think about the obvious question, if I missed some vital piece of information. A knock at the door came unexpectedly. I quickly peered into the mirror and breezed over to the door expecting, “Jack?”
“I saw your light on, can I come in?”
“Might as well.” I voiced with disappointment.
“How you been? Expecting someone else?”
“I could ask you the same. What’s with that woman the other day? Who is she?”
“Just a girl keeping me company while I’m here, that’s all.”
“There has to be a reason why you’re with her, you don’t just do that kind of thing.”
“You’ve been spending time with Clayton?”
“Not like you think.”
“Maybe it’s the same situation with this chick.”
“Why are you here, Jack?” I asked losing my patience.
“Just to see where we stand, if you’ve gotten any good information from him.”
“I have nothing.”
“If you did, would you tell me?” he asked.
“Would you tell me?” I asked furious with him for not letting me in regarding his little sleepover.
“You remember he’s a priest, right?
“How could I forget?”
“He could be a major player in this case and at the end of the day if he walks, acts and quacks like a priest, he’s still a priest.”
“What are you getting at?”
“He’s unavailable.”
“If he’s the greedy bastard you think he is, then would he really be true to his vows or whatever he has agreed to?” I argued.
“You’re wasting your time falling for a man like him.”
“You sound jealous.” I threw back in his face.
“If you proceed I’m not going to bail you out this time.”
“There’s a real connection. I can’t explain it, like I’ve known him before. The other night I witnessed the real person behind that dreaded uniform, a man free from all his issues and he knew how to have fun. Most of all, he was happy to share that moment with me. I don’t know if I can stay away.”
“I know you’re hearing me but you’re not listening, I see you falling back down into treacherous territory igniting some sick pleasure. You’re trying to fill some kind of empty void without working through your own issues, jumping from one messed up person to the next looking for a fantasy, someone who doesn’t exist.” He sighed as exhaustion set in. Then he lowered his voice before admitting, “Maybe it’s a good idea to call Alice after all so she can help.”
“No, I’ll call if I need her!” I exclaimed.
“God, why can’t you see this for yourself? Are you done chasing Clayton then?”
I had no idea how to answer that question. Fearful and scared, I wish I could walk away.
Jack was at a loss searching for words of wisdom to enlighten the situation with the hope of knocking me out of this rut, nothing came. His regret stung as he wished he could rewind the past never bringing me to this place, but I was here.
“Jack?” I asked solemnly.
“If I could’ve been that guy, at least then I would’ve been able to keep you out of harm’s way.” Jack confessed.
“I understand you want to protect me, we will always have our friendship. It’s not your problem.”
“I’m going to hate this, but go and find what you need to move on. If you run across any important information you better come find me. Got it?”
“I want answers like everyone else in this town, otherwise it’ll haunt me.” I admitted.
“You know you’re a fucking pain in my ass, right?”
“Never had a clue”, I shot back with a smile.
“You’re stubborn too, that might be your worst quality.” He said breaking the tension with a snort. “Melissa…” he held strong.
“Yes?”
“I do love you.”
I acknowledged his declaration with a nod as I let him slip out the door and shut it after he left. I felt pangs of loneliness stabbing at me until I refused to accept it any longer. I flew out the door and down to the parking lot, I had to keep going. Something kept tugging at me and urging me to follow my gut instincts. I didn’t think, but just sprinted until I found myself on a porch. I positioned myself staring a hole through the door aching for what was on the other side.
“Melissa, is there something wrong? You look disheveled. Come in, come in.”
“I had to come, I don’t know why. Is it ok?”
“I’ll get you a glass of water.” Father Clayton insisted.
He left the room when I thought, “Shit, what am I doing?”
He reentered and I couldn’t muster the words to speak. His demeanor differed immediately as we were not able to take our eyes off each other. We found ourselves late at night with the rest of the town sleeping. He invaded my space slowly and in complete control leaning in for a kiss that commanded my complete attention. Forgetting the glass in his hand, I ended up with water sprinkling my blouse much like a baptism until he tipped it back and set it on his desk. I grinned to let him know not to worry, when I soon realized he knew exactly what he was doing releasing any question in my head he might be a virgin. At his mercy, he demanded to be in charge and dominate when I relinquished into a submissive role eager to please as an explosion burst between us, the very thing I waited so long for. My conscience flipped back and forth wondering if God frowned upon this union, but my earthly desires couldn’t be squashed. I needed him right then and there.
“It’s ok.” He reassured leaving me without a prayer to hold onto. Before I could blink, Colin stood before me stripped of his persona and in raw form of his true self. In the midst of crossing a delicate line that could never be erased, we laid down together in the throngs of ecstasy mixed subtly with the agony of sin.
Chapter 12 – Getting There
I found myself back in the motel room the next morning, a smile crept over my face as visions of the night before came flooding in. I rolled over to find a more comfortable position remembering I had imagined us together much differently, but reality is sometimes much better and far more exhilarating than any fantasy.
Father Clayton rose that same morning, showered and dressed while finding it nearly impossible to erase Melissa from his thoughts. He felt like a new man while thinking about her sweetness and recalling their more salacious occasions together. This exact instance is what he feared most, he’d spent years hiding behind the uniform praying to give himself to divine intervention to shake the darkness for good, but never quite able to achieve it. Over the years, it became too easy to hide this wolf draped in sheep’s clothing. The lifestyle became draining as expectations were immense with townspeople practically drooling in his presence. They expected perfection adding so much pressure to endure alone. His true desire is her, but once she sees him for who he truly is that could potentially destroy people around him, herself included. Questions kept hammering away at him as he grabbed the keys off his desk and marched towards the alleyway to open the garage when he heard a voice which made him stop dead in his tracks.
“Colin?” I asked waiting for his response.
“I didn’t see you there.”
“I gathered. You seem to be in a hurry.”
“Yes, did we have a meeting scheduled?”
“No, I just thought I’d drop by.”
“Right, well as you can see I have somewhere to be.”
I stood motionless gawking, speculating what thoughts were running through his mind.
“I really got to go.”
“Ok….Colin?” I called before he disappeared.
“Yeah…�
� he waited.
Seconds ticked by as I saw how distant and cold he turned which told me all I needed to know.
“Nothing, I’m holding you back. Just go.” With that he rushed off to get his car and vanished without as much as a goodbye wave.
The sunny day turned dark with a storm fast approaching. The wind carried a chill as the clouds moved in overhead. I studied the sky when a thunderclap sprang out across the valley startling me shortly before a lightning bolt streaked down to the earth. I knew the storm longed to be at our backdoor as I rushed to my room to find shelter before the drencher came pouring down.
Father Clayton stuck to the paved roads driving right into the storm. It looked dangerous, but he was already close to his appointments so he kept moving forward. He reflected for a time wondering if she’d ever come close to understanding the problems that followed him. She’s so fresh and untainted, probably still believing in romantic stories of epic proportion. He didn’t have time to coddle a relationship. “Is it possible? Could I leave this all behind and start a new life for myself, a new life for us?”
Melissa watched as rain poured out of the sky. Disgusted her night with Colin was nothing more than a one night stand, she quickly came to understand she’d never break through his barriers. Tears trickled down her face as she thought about how much she has suffered at the hands of men when John came to mind. She was reminded of better times before Alice disappeared, wishing his death to be a cruel hoax. She curled up under the covers as raindrops gently tapped against the window lulling her to sleep.
Father Clayton got to his next destination to meet the others after his hospital visit. He ran to the warehouse allowing the rain to soak his hair and give him more of an impromptu shower when his foot landed in a puddle, “God…bless it.” He entered the building sweeping his wet hair over to the side when he saw them, “Boys…”
“Good to see you again, Father. Here’s your profit this week.” Angus stated expecting Father would then see himself out before another altercation ensued.
“Where’s the asshole I beat to hell last week?”
“You told us to get rid of him, so we let him go. Wasn’t any good to us anyway, if a priest could kick his ass then how helpful could he really be?” Rich said laughing. Angus held his breath knowing that Father Clayton wouldn’t see the humor.
He studied both of them, raised an eyebrow and then grinned. “You boys better be frugal with those comments, I got the Lord on my side. You know what they say, leave it to the wrath of God.”
“Your right, it was a bad joke, I apologize. I was just trying to lighten the mood.” Rich stated as Angus breathed a little easier with that being said.
Father Clayton studied him with a look of disdain until deciding it wasn’t worth his energy, “I have a lot on my plate today. Is there anything else of importance?”
“No, it’s all good on this end.” Angus interjected.
“Next week then, keep it status quo.” He stated making sure no one had any other words for him.
He rushed back to his car, got out of the rain and checked his phone. There were no new messages. He dialed the number of a man he needed to hear from. “Hey, haven’t heard from you in a bit. What have you got for me?”
“Jack took the bait and she’s distracting him like we told her to.” Joseph informed.
“Gretchen never disappoints and the lawyer’s office?”
“The case has been dismissed. No one could prove the funds were skimmed.”
“Beautiful, take a couple days off and get some rest. I’ll be fine.” Father Clayton commanded as he disconnected the call.
Chapter 13 – Abandoned
“Hello?” I said answering the phone.
“Melissa? It doesn’t sound like you?”
“Yes, it’s me.”
“Jack asked that I call, he filled me in.”
“Alice, this whole thing is a mess.” I whined.
“I knew you weren’t ready. Are you coming home?”
“I miss John so much and I thought a change of scenery would help, but it hasn’t. I don’t even know what I’m doing anymore.”
“Melissa, you’re not in any condition to get into another relationship. This has to stop, I can’t stress this enough.”
“You don’t understand, our connection is palpable when it’s good.”
“Listen to me, run away in the other direction and clear your head.” Alice insisted.
“I hear you.”
“I’m coming there right now!”
“No Alice, you have your own problems. I have to figure this out on my own. I’ll try to steer clear of him.”
“You promise…”
“I promise.”
“I’m only a phone call away.”
“I know.”
“I love you, you’re my best friend.”
“Same here.”
“Be careful.”
“I promise.”
“I can’t stand it I’m coming to get you!”
“Alice, trust me, you’ll see.”
“Ok, but call me if you need to.”
“I really need to get off the phone now.”
“Bye.”
“Give Maci a hug for me.” By the time I clicked my phone off I had made my way to the end of the bed brushing my fingers through my hair trying to image when this nightmare would be over. Then rubbing my face trying to guess when I’d start to feel better. I had no friends except for Alice and Jack. The walls seemed to be closing in on this pity party as I felt cabin fever squeezing into my very existence. I needed fresh air regardless of the weather. After grabbing a jacket, throwing it over my head and rushing out into the storm I ended up with Tony at the bar again. “Hi Tony, long time no see.”
“Oh God, you see the weather out right? Isn’t a young lady afraid of the shit storm out there? What if it hails?”
“Shove it, this weather is invigorating. I never had a better run than coming to see you and if it hails you better stay inside, you don’t want to dent that perfectly bald head of yours. You can’t afford a dip without any hair to hide it.” I rambled sarcastically as I waited for the other guys to chime in.
“Oh, she got you that time Tony and right about your delicate skin. If it doesn’t make a dip, you’ll definitely get a gash and that would be a bloody mess.”
“Everyone shut up! Enough…leave my head out of this.” Tony insisted. “What are you doing here anyway? You’ve been banned.”
“I’m not banned and besides I’m not drinking tonight, just bored is all. I’m looking for a meal with soda or tea, whatever’s easier.”
“Have you cleared this with Clayton?”
My eyes became little slits as I glared at Tony, “He doesn’t control me.”
“Last time he carried you out of here, he told me as much. And he threatened to put me out of business if I didn’t listen. He has more leverage than you think.”
“I know.” I admitted.
“He’s got a long reach and if he tells his followers the evils of such an establishment like mine, doesn’t take a genius. Even worse, he’s got his thumb on you.”
“Give me a burger, salad and a soda. That’s what I came for.” I demanded as I became sick of hearing about him.
“Here’s another good piece of information, he covered his tracks in the skimming allegations.”
“What skimming allegations?”
“Don’t play dumb with me, you know the rumors. You really don’t trust anyone around here do you?” he asked.
I conveniently ignored him and changed the subject, “Luann has mentioned a few things.” I confided.
“Oh, you talked to Luann?”
“Just a little bit here and there, nothing substantial.”
“Quite a few years ago Clayton got into a scandal with her.” I put my glass down listening intently. “That’s right. I could imagine what you’re thinking right now, word is you’ve been spending lots of time over there. He hasn’t gotten into y
our panties yet, has he?”
I suddenly felt sick to my stomach, “I can’t believe you’d ask such an idiotic question.”
“Rumor was he took it without consent, but the whole thing got squashed because she was drunk and could’ve been passed out at the time.”
I felt no need to comment, by this time it was debatable what held truth in this town.
“I need to check on these other guys, you need to hurry and get out of here before Clayton knows you’re here.”
“It’s too late Tony.” We heard as a thunderous deep voice from the back of the bar echoed through making its way to us.
“Father, I tried to give her a warning and move her along but the storm, I couldn’t kick her out.” Tony explained with concern.
He overshadowed us dripping wet from the rain captivating our attention as we awaited his next move. If he’d been carrying a chainsaw it could’ve been a great scene from a horror movie, my heart skipped several beats while waiting for his response.
“Melissa, it’s time to go.” Father Clayton demanded.
I began to stall hoping a sign would smack me in the face, some way to get out of this crazy scene.
“She isn’t drinking.” Tony excused.
He motioned for me to come along and kept his eyes on the others giving them a clear signal to stay out of it.
I resigned to the fact there was no possibility of getting a free pass and moved slowly towards him. As we left the bar and out onto the street his palm rested on the back of my neck guiding me the whole way, I wondered how I always found myself in these messes. He waited to discuss the matter until we were back inside his house.
“What the hell were you thinking back there?” he demanded.
“I wasn’t drinking!”