A few weeks later, Chad told his boss he was resigning at the end of the year. It was one of the hardest decisions he had ever made.
The reaction from the boss surprised him—but not in the way he expected. He was supportive of Chad’s choice and left him with words Chad will never forget: “Never let something good prevent you from something great.”
And with that, Chad packed everything he had into a U-Haul and moved to New York City to try his hand at acting. The move wasn’t easy, but things started to fall into place. Within two weeks, he found an acting job, one that eventually led him to an Off-Broadway gig. He had taken a leap of faith to follow his dream—and he had succeeded. He should have been singing from the rooftops!
He was at first, but his excitement slowly waned. He loved acting, but he realized to survive in New York, he had to take roles that weren’t particularly interesting to him. He missed the power he had had during those summers, when he chose the projects that meant something to him. He also missed the Midwest, so he left the glow of his newfound success to move back home and start something new.
He knew it was time to turn The Peppermint Creek Players from his college days into the Peppermint Creek Theatre Company.
That was in 2002. Eight years later, the company has made a name for itself in Lansing, Michigan, producing three shows annually. What’s more, Chad also started the Renegade Theatre Festival, which is a free festival that brings together various college and local theatre groups for a weekend hosting 23 different productions in three days.
I asked Chad if he ever thought about what his life would have been like if the slushie incident hadn’t happened. He said he thought about it all the time. Without that wake-up call, he would not have faced the decision to sacrifice a good situation to take a risk on something great.
* * *
Cup 12 with Chad illustrates that important change often requires a wake-up call. We cling to good because it is safe—in a stable situation, we know exactly what to expect. Conversely, the potentially great things ahead of us are intangible, uncertain, and scary.
It is difficult to trust that something better may be out there waiting for us, so we settle for something less. We are afraid to trade stability and contentedness for the hard work and unpredictability that comes with striving for something bigger because, if we fail, we can lose the good, as well as the great.
But Chad proved how the rewards can far outweigh the risks. He trusts his gut and repeatedly takes a stable situation and turns it on its head. As a result, he’s created a life that he looks forward to each morning. A life he finds fulfilling.
I know at some point in my life, I will have that proverbial slushie thrown in my face, exposing something missing in my life. When that happens, I hope Chad’s story will give me the courage to take a risk and shake things up: to sacrifice good for a chance at great.
Dave Isbell
Biggby Coffee in East Lansing, Michigan
Small latte
You can choose humility or be humbled.
In cup 13, I learned about sacrifice. I wasn’t planning on it, and I didn’t want to, but I did.
This happens a lot with sacrifice. It’s not planned. It’s not wanted. But it happens, and there’s nothing you can do about it.
Or so I thought before I spent an hour drinking coffee with Dave Isbell, who gave me the harrowing news that sacrifice would be an unavoidable part of my life—not exactly news I wanted to hear.
Luckily, his next piece of advice was more optimistic. He told me that while I can’t avoid sacrifice, I can be proactive and take control of the sacrifices I make.
He went on to say that sacrifice isn’t necessarily a bad thing. The act of consciously choosing sacrifice adds incredible meaning and value to life. I wasn’t sure I believed him, but I thought back to one of my clearest experiences with sacrifice, and it made sense.
In my freshman year of high school, I joined the varsity cross-country team; suddenly my life was consumed with running. I woke up at 5:30 am, ran, went to class, ran again, ate dinner, finished my homework, went to sleep, and woke up the next day to do it all again. Every choice I made went through a running filter. If it helped my running, I did it. If it hurt my running, I said no.
It paid off. Our team had a lot of success, and I accomplished many of my running goals, but not without a price: I had to pass up on a lot of high school fun in the process.
As I look back, I wouldn’t change anything about high school. Running never felt like a burden stopping me from what I wanted to do. Running gave me a sense of purpose, and that made the trade-offs worthwhile. I was willing to sacrifice the short-term excitement so I could reach my goals.
Dave had a similar story. From the age of 13, he knew that his destiny was to be a rock star, so he worked tirelessly and willingly made sacrifices to get closer to his goal. By the time he was 21, his band was asked to go on tour—the hard work had seemingly paid off.
But then he faced another sacrifice. He declined the tour offer and ended the band. The rock-star life conflicted with his responsibilities as the husband of a young family, and he knew he wasn’t mature enough to handle both. So he left the stage and the dream because he knew it was the right thing to do; his family had become his priority.
* * *
Dave’s story is a valuable reminder. I understood what it meant to make sacrifices, but somewhere along my college journey, I had forgotten. It was easy to do. I was in college and had the freedom to do what I wanted! I was having the time of my life! I didn’t want to think about sacrifice.
Dave sees this often happen: college students feeling invincible and free until graduation day arrives, and then reality sets in. Young graduates go into the world, full of pride and confidence, only to be humbled when the burdens of life catch up to them.
* * *
After leaving the band, Dave did some serious soul-searching that eventually led him to his role as Alumni Career Services Coordinator for Michigan State. The job involves meeting with alumni—usually in their late 40s and 50s—unhappy with their career situations and looking for a change.
Many are the alumni who had spent their lives going through the motions; they went to class, joined a few clubs, and then accepted the best job offer without assessing the direction their life was headed. Why should they have? They had a degree and a job—they were set!
But then a few decades go by and when they already have a mortgage, car payment, and three kids to put through college they realize they aren’t happy in their careers. But their financial responsibilities prevent them from leaving their jobs. Staying at the same job becomes a forced sacrifice, a burden, rather than an intentional sacrifice that creates meaning.
Dave works hard to change that. His goal is to help alumni find jobs that are aligned with their interests and values so that their sacrifices became meaningful instead of burdensome.
He shared his experiences with me to encourage me to discover what I was willing to sacrifice now—when I’m young and have fewer responsibilities—instead of 20 years down the road, sitting in his office looking for advice.
Without Dave’s prompting, I likely would have ignored the concepts of sacrifice and humility until it was too late. I would have left MSU with my fancy degree and full-time job, expecting the world to give me everything it owed me after my four years of “hard work” in college.
But the world doesn’t owe me anything, and if I think otherwise, I may end up falling flat on my face.
As Dave said many times during our conversation, “You can either choose humility or be humbled.”
Dave’s advice gave my previous Cups a new perspective. He told me, “everybody must make sacrifices; you might as well choose the ones you’re willing to make. They should be worth the price you pay.”
His advice made me ask myself: what sacrifices am I willing to make?
Denise Busley
Grand Traverse Pie Company in East Lansing, Michigan
Small brewed coffee
Instead of wallowing in the problem; look for a solution.
If you’ve ever enjoyed the wonders of the pie at Grand Traverse Pie Company in Michigan, thank co-founder Denise Busley.
Her story, however, is even better than the pie. Two years after graduating from Michigan State, Denise Busley found herself in a medical-sales job outside Los Angeles. Between student loans and the high cost of living, it was a constant struggle to make ends meet, and she and her husband Mike couldn’t see the light at the end of the tunnel.
She had a sales territory that had been abandoned for six months, and the sales forecasts she was expected to meet seemed impossible. When her sales numbers were meager at the end of the quarter, her manager walked in and warned her—she had 90 days to turn her territory around.
She was distraught and angry. The expectations were unrealistic and unfair.
Then, something happened. Right after that encounter with her manager, Denise attended the company’s national sales meeting. During the sessions, they made a big to-do about the sales representative with the highest sales of the year. They gave him a big award and displayed his sales numbers: he was making twice as much in commission as Denise was! What’s more, he was also from some sparsely populated “middle-of-nowhere” state.
Suddenly a huge mental barrier disappeared for Denise. She realized she was letting the situation pull her down. If this guy could make that kind of money in his state, there was no reason she couldn’t match his numbers in LA, where, as she puts it, she “could trip over ten doctors on my way to work.”
It was a light-bulb moment.
After the meeting, she ran (literally) to catch up with the president of the company. “I’m going to be the sales rep of the year next year,” she told him. Then (once the adrenalin wore off) she had a moment of panic and wondered what on earth she’d done. True to her word, though, a year later, she was sales rep of the year.
For Denise, the change happened because she shifted her mindset. Instead of thinking, this isn’t fair, my territory was abandoned, there’s too much competition, she accepted that she was in a tough situation and focused on the goal she had decided—very boldly—to achieve. Then she worked her hardest to achieve it.
Denise eventually left that job, but the lesson stayed with her: accept a situation for what it is and change what you have the ability to change.
* * *
Two kids and 15 years later, it looked liked a job relocation was in store for her husband Mike, and neither Denise nor Mike could justify uprooting their kids and moving to a new state when neither of them were in love with their current jobs. During a trip back to Traverse City, they visited a small pie shop and an idea hit: they would leave their jobs and start a small 15-seat pie shop. Grand Traverse Pie Company was born.
* * *
In the past ten years, Grand Traverse Pie Company has expanded to over a dozen locations around Michigan, which has brought Denise great success in a career she never expected. Even better, her job gives her the resources to do what is most important to her: helping others. With the business running strong, Denise stepped away from daily operations at the pie shop to contribute her efforts to a group of people working to bring a Children’s Advocacy Center to Traverse City.
Her journey has had its fair share of ups and down, but she is flourishing because she looks for the positive and focuses on doing her best in difficult situations. She approaches life with that same mentality she had when she decided, “I’m going to be the sales rep of the year,” instead of believing “this situation is unfair, and I’ll never make it.”
* * *
A few days after meeting with Denise, I was having a bad day; there was something I just couldn’t get off my mind. I spent all day dwelling on the bad situation, and by the end of the day, the negative thoughts had caught up to me.
Then I remembered what Denise had said: “Why label something as good or bad? Why can’t we just accept the situation for what it is?”
That’s when Denise’s words about acceptance sunk in. We often get stuck wallowing in situations we can’t control: the weather, genetics, the economy, the past, a bad sales territory—whatever it might be. And we let these situations drag us down. We focus on why it’s unfair, or we wish with all our might that we can snap our fingers and solve the problem. Why do we do this?
We do it because acceptance is so damn hard. No one wants to face the reality that life has imperfections. So we default to denial. We either dwell on the problem or push it under the rug and pretend it’s not there. But that doesn’t work. Refusing to accept situations we cannot change leads to wasting significant emotional and mental energy trying to change a situation over which we have no control. We end up entrenching our thoughts in a negative cycle that starts off ineffective and becomes increasingly destructive.
But, if we can find the strength to push through the emotion and pain necessary to accept reality, we can redirect our focus toward identifying the issues we can control. We start looking for solutions instead of wallowing in problems.
The process of acceptance has transformative effects. It is the reason Denise became sales rep of the year, and one of the reasons she and Mike have succeeded in both the restaurant business and in their mission to support their community.
As I sat there in my bad mood, feeling the weight of the world on top of me, I thought about Denise and how one sales meeting had changed her life. I realized then that when life is pushing down on me, I am just wasting energy trying to push back. As hard as it is to let go, the more efficient use of energy is finding a way to move forward.
Ruben Derderian
Michigan State University Technologies Office
Brewed coffee
The job you get is important, but it’s what you do once you get there that truly matters.
Have you ever jumped off a high dive? You start on the ground and inch your way up the ladder, each rung getting you closer to the impending moment when you must leave the safety of the board for the uncertainty of the air and the cool blue water below. You’ve been waiting for this moment, preparing for it, in some ways looking forward to it, but all the mental preparedness can’t mitigate the anticipation of the fall, and the unexpected outcome the water brings.
It’s nerve-racking.
That’s what it can feel like figuring out what to do after college—jumping off the diving board into the waters of real life.
Rung one: Write a resume.
Rung two: Job fair.
Rung three: Interview.
Rung four: Acceptance letter.
When you reach the top of the ladder, you inch your way closer to the edge, knowing full well there’s no turning back. It’s only a matter of time before commencement rolls around and you’re on the edge of the board. Until then, the fear, excitement, and uncertainty mount.
Senior year is fun, but man, can it be stressful. Fortunately, as Ruben Derderian told me, the anticipation is always worse than the jump. I believe him, because Ruben Derderian has had his fair share of successful dives.
* * *
Over his career of 30-plus years, Ruben has been the President of five companies, Vice President of two, an independent management consultant, and, at present, the Associate Director of Bioeconomics at Michigan State University.
That’s an impressive track record.
After receiving a science degree from Michigan State in 1965, and then being wait-listed for the MSU Vet School two years in a row, Ruben and his wife decided to move to Baton Rouge so he could work on a Master’s Degree at Louisiana State University.
When sales at his brother’s retail store started to falter, Ruben decided to take a semester off and move back to Michigan to help out. While helping his brother get the store back in order (and sold), Ruben started working for a small medical device company, which was a rapidly growing industry at the time. He still fully intended to finish his degree at LSU; the job was just something to do in
the meantime.
However, he quickly discovered he was good in his new role. With his strong science background, he started going on calls with the salesmen. His ability to translate the mechanics of the medical device into terms doctors could understand made him a valuable asset. The problem was that he was making the sales, but the salesmen were earning the commissions. When a new sales territory opened up, he asked his boss if he could take it. His boss said no; he wasn’t about to invest in an employee who was just going to move back to Louisiana.
That’s when Ruben decided it was time to switch plans and fully dive into medical sales. His Master’s degree would have to wait.
He stayed with the company for a while before joining a new one, where he became Rookie Salesman of the Year, then Most Improved Salesman the next year, and finally, the company’s top salesman in his third year with the firm.
His success led to job promotions and work he enjoyed. That’s when he set his sights on the ultimate goal: he saw himself as the CEO of a corporation.
That vision set the tone for his career. He worked his way up through the company, learning as much as possible along the way. When he reached the point where he’d done all he could do within that enterprise, he looked for opportunities outside that corporation that would allow him to inch closer to his larger goal. Then he repeated the process.
The recipe clearly paid off: he achieved his goal of running a company (several of them) and enjoyed the successes along the way. He loves his career so much that he keeps failing each time he tries to retire. He always finds a way to go back to work.
* * *
After telling me the long story of his successful career, Ruben turned the tables and asked me about my plans for the future. I didn’t like those tables being turned. Because it’s not much fun admitting that I don’t have a clue what my next step in life is going to be.
But I told him what I thought my plans were, and how he responded was invaluable. He said I’d be just fine in the long run. While it is tough trying to find a job when you don’t have one, once you have a job, it isn’t too difficult to find a new one—especially if you’re building credibility and new skills along the way.
52 Cups of Coffee: Inspiring and insightful stories for navigating life’s uncertainties Page 5