He smiled harder with the sound of her voice. “The wood that was so callously plunged through my chest has nearly been removed. My workers have been removing it piece by piece. It was a gift from the black wolf. A gift he gave me many eons ago. Because of my weakened state, they have had to remove it slowly and over time. Once it has been removed, I will be strong again. I will be myself again, and afterwards, I will be able to give you back—well you.”
This made her look up again. She could care less about what he was saying but when she heard something about the black wolf it was everything she needed. Hearing something about Jimmy also made her eyes tear up again too.
Seeing her tears and reading her thoughts, it made him remember why he came in there in the first place. It was time to get back to it. “I wish that I could speak for hours about everything my dear, but I really must get back to what I came in here for.” He walked to the door and stopped just before reaching it. “I have good news for you my dear Rana.” He turned back to her. “The black wolf lives. He survived the blade. He is strong again.” He held his hands together just in front of him. He felt rather pleased with saying what he just did. He didn’t know why, but he did and just left it at that.
This time, her eyes went straight to his. “What?” Can it be true, or is he just toying with me? Everything flashed in her thoughts all at once.
Devish nodded towards her but not to her. “You have heard me correctly my dear.” He reached a clawed large hand back for the knob and grabbed it firmly.
She watched him carefully. Outwardly, she felt herself go calm, but inside she was now bursting with every emotion at once. It felt almost like she was about to explode. It felt that intense. “He’s alive?” She almost couldn’t believe what she heard, but deep down inside her, she did. She didn’t know how, or why, but it felt like the truth.
“Yes my dear Rana. He is alive.”
“How?” Tears now rolled down both of her cheeks. Because of them she now had trouble seeing him clearly.
“He is himself again. His power is growing again as well. When he is strong again, as strong as he was before, he will come for both of us.”
Hearing him, every bit of her love for Jimmy came back again. It flushed her soul with force. It even warmed her very core. “When he does, he’ll kill you.” She even felt a smile cross her face.
Seeing her smile, he smiled too. “I do hope that he will try.” He turned not saying anything else, and just closed the door.
She watched him leave, and no sooner had he closed the door, she exploded with heavy sobs. Her heart burst with a strength that overwhelmed her with every bit of the power that it had. She couldn’t help herself as she lost control. She let herself cry. She let the tears roll. She just let it all happen.
She stayed like this, allowing the tears, and allowing the very idea of his life to overwhelm her very being.
“Oh Jimmy? Thank God. Thank God you’re still alive.”
She looked back to the door, wanted now, more than ever, that he would crash through it right then and come for her again.
“Help me Jimmy. Find me and be with me again.”
10
Jimmy took a shower and cleaned up from his ordeal. He took a long time to do it too. He felt almost winded. He felt—what’s a good word to use for it—off—maybe. Yes, he felt off. He didn’t feel like himself. He felt strong again, yes, but that was all that he seemed to feel. Taking a long and hot shower made him feel right again. It helped. It brought his mind back together again and with it, he felt ready again as well.
Finished, he rejoined Robert, Sasha, and Brandon back in the living room.
They waited for him on the sofa, and when he came back, they each gave him a smile.
Robert was the first to stand up. “Feeling better?” What he went through still hurt him. He hoped that it wouldn’t last. He only hoped that he would forgive him too for everything he did. Quite frankly, he wasn’t sure if he would if he was in his shoes.
Jimmy met them at the sofa and stood in front of all of them. He slid the t-shirt that Brandon gave him on over his head. Having clothes on made him feel human again too. “Better.” He nodded while straightening the shirt. “I think.”
“It will take some time to feel right again Jimmy. No one should have to go through that. I don’t know how you did it.” Sasha felt more than just happy seeing him like himself again, she felt downright giddy. She felt overwhelmingly relieved too.
“Physically, I feel fine—better than ever—but mentally—I’m a little tired. I feel like I was just in a boxing match or something. I feel like I was never hit once, but just chased the other guy around the ring and did all of the work.”
Sasha laughed, watching him, not believing how good he looked. He should have been weak, but he wasn’t. He should have been physically exhausted but he looked stronger than ever. He was Kalima all right. He was the strongest of all of them and now, he showed it.
Brandon laughed as well. “You look good to me.” He thought of nothing else but just wanted to see his friend moving around again. He felt happy beyond words and just left it at that.
“Thanks.” Jimmy gave him a smile.
Robert smiled, but it didn’t last long. He had other things on his mind. “I’ve never seen anything like that before Jimmy. I’ve never seen any walker, moon, night, even a blood walker change while so badly wounded like that. Not even Devish himself could do that.” He thought long and hard about what he just saw, and just didn’t understand it. He had seen many things in his long life, and in all of those years, he’d seen walkers do a lot of incredible things, but never did he see anything like this. The strength he witnessed boggled his mind. As far as he was concerned about it, it was time to get to those answers. He had to know. “How did you do that?”
Jimmy felt surprised by the question. “I don’t know why I did.” He truly didn’t know. “Before I really knew what was happening, I felt Kalima come out. He just almost pushed me aside. It was almost like he wanted to get out, one way or the other. It felt weird. It was like the very first time I changed.”
“You’ve done that before?”
Jimmy nodded. “When I was still at Ravenswood, the security there was beating me. Kalima came out then too. He just pushed me out and took over. I changed and he fought back.”
“Have you always done that? Have you always been able to change when you were injured?”
Jimmy shook his head. “No. It always takes me a little time to heal, but to be honest with you; I’ve never been injured like that before.” He bowed his head. “I was shot once. I don’t remember what happened after I was.” Rachel crossed over his mind. “Your sister was able to remove it. She removed the bullet.” With her face there again, the feelings of missing her came back strongly again too. With it, it took everything he had to keep himself calm. He did manage to. He did stay calm.
“What kind of a bullet was it?”
“Silver.”
“Where were you shot?”
“The shoulder—the left shoulder actually.”
“You lived?” Robert heard this and doubted it instantly. He truly didn’t understand what he heard. It didn’t make any sense with everything he knew.
“Obviously I did.” Jimmy chuckled some, slapped his hands to his hips as he did.
Robert nodded. “That’s not possible Jimmy. I’ve never seen a moonwalker hit with a silver shot and live like that. It should have killed you.”
Jimmy again chuckled some before answering him. “Well it didn’t. I’m right here.” He shrugged too.
This Robert did understand, so he nodded. He then looked at Sasha. “You’re a black wolf—have you ever seen one of your people do that before? Have you ever seen a person take a silver bullet and live?”
Sasha shook her head. “Never. Silver, no matter where it hits us, will kill us.”
He had to continue with his thoughts. “Can you heal like that too?”
She shook her head. “
It takes me a day or two to heal from any wound completely.” She looked at Jimmy. “And I have been injured badly before, and that took me almost a week to heal from it—maybe even longer than that.” She gave him a smile.
Robert nodded. He looked back to Jimmy. “I’ve only ever seen one moonwalker that could ever survive a silver strike like that and that was Kalima. He was also able to heal from great wounds too. I know I’ve seen him do it. One time he was hit hard directly in the chest and just stood right back up like nothing ever happened. I guess you inherited more from him than I ever thought was possible before.” He smiled again. It felt like a slim one at that and it showed.
Jimmy nodded. “I guess?”
“This is going to be interesting then.” He motioned for Jimmy to take his seat on the sofa with a slight wave of his right arm towards it. At the same time, he stepped away from it. “We should begin with this. I have to see who, or more importantly, what you are.” He nodded to the same spot.
Jimmy suddenly felt nervous. Do I want to go through with this? He suddenly felt the need to ask himself. At first, back when Robert first told him about doing this, reading his mind like he wanted to, it felt like a great idea, but now, he wasn’t so sure. He would finally learn more about himself, more than he ever thought he would, but now, the idea of learning something that you might not want to know about yourself, came back at him stronger than ever. After all, he might not want to know any of it. It may be painful. It may just be something that he might regret in learning about.
Robert saw the look in his eyes. He could never read Kalima, and here Jimmy was being no different, but he didn’t need to, to know how he felt. The worry of what he might learn was written all over his face. “This isn’t going to hurt Jimmy. If you’re worried about it, I can understand your feeling afraid, but trust me, it will not hurt you.” He gave him another full smile. “If anything, you will know yourself better than you ever have before. It will free you. It will give you strength.”
“I’m just worried that I might not want to remember everything. What if I was an asshole or something? What if I don’t like what I see?”
Robert smiled again. He even chuckled some under his breath. “We all have those memories Jimmy—the ones that we don’t want to have. They are what makes us—well—us. Without them, we are not who we are.” His smile left his face. “Without your memories you will never be able to know who you really are.”
“What if they’re bad?”
“Even the bad things make us up. Even the bad things make us who we are.”
Brandon listened to every word, and when Robert said what he just did, he suddenly needed to come into the conversation with thoughts of his own. “He’s right Jimmy. You have always acted like you didn’t know who you were. Maybe you were like that because you were missing something about yourself. May it was because you were missing these memories.”
Jimmy listened and suddenly every memory he had, the memories of his, Jimmy Walls’ life, flashed before his eyes. Seeing them, feeling the obnoxiously shy man he once was, flared through him like a flash of lightning. The way that he acted with Sally, the way that he let people treat him was all there. Suddenly his whole past life made sense.
Robert nodded. “If you lack the memories of your past Jimmy, you will never be the person that you are supposed to be. If even Brandon can see this, then you should too.”
Brandon felt rather shocked with the tones in Robert’s voice. “Even me?”
Robert smiled at him. “I didn’t mean anything bad by it, just that you were right.”
Brandon nodded. “Cool. I’m happy to help.”
Jimmy nodded too. “And with you doing this, I’m going to know everything about who I am. Who I was and who I am supposed to be.” He exhaled as he spoke.
Robert nodded again. “Yes. You will find yourself again. You will be you again as you were meant to be.”
Jimmy nodded again too. Thinking about everything, it all calmed him instantly. He felt warm again as well. “So what are you going to do?”
“I will join with your soul. In that moment I will see everything that you are. I will know everything inside you. I will be able to access everything that you’ve ever done, every memory that you ever had. It will be like I was living your life with you.”
Jimmy understood everything he heard and like it or not, he knew that he was going to have to do it. He needed to know who he was. He wanted to know who he is. He had to know everything. He looked at Sasha as he sat down next to her.
“It’s going to be okay Jimmy.” She took his left hand into her right and squeezed him firmly. As for herself, she didn’t understand anything, but with that said, she did understand how Jimmy felt. All she wanted was to show him that she understood that much.
He nodded to her and smiled. “I know.”
She returned his smile, let go of his hand, and stood up.
Brandon watched her and then looked back to Jimmy. “We’re going to be here Jimmy the whole time.” He patted Jimmy’s left shoulder with an open palm. “We’re here for you.”
Jimmy nodded to him and watched him stand up too.
With Brandon with her, both he and Sasha moved away from the sofa and stepped behind Robert.
With them there, Robert joined Jimmy on the sofa and turned to him as soon as he sat down. “This will feel really very strange.” He nodded to him.
Jimmy shrugged hard and deep. “Let’s do this.” He felt as ready as he was ever going to be. After what he just felt, after what he just went through, he knew that he could do this. Nothing could ever feel as bad as having your chest cut open with a knife.
Robert faced him and took him by the shoulders with both hands. “Look at me Jimmy.”
He did and turned with him.
“Think of nothing. Look at my eyes and take a deep breath.”
Jimmy did everything that he asked him to do. He took the deep breath and suddenly felt his mind drift off some, turning from that of concern to something that seemed closer to a heavy fog. He watched Robert’s eyes suddenly turn to a bright blue that seemed to sparkle from within. Thoroughly his own eyes began to burn, slowly heating from behind them. They felt like a hot coal was now blazing his face. His mind began to wander until he no longer saw Robert’s eyes but instead he found himself standing in a clearing, and closer towards his right hand side, a large and tall fire was burning brightly, illuminating the entire area with a deep and heavy glow.
He turned towards the fire. He listened to it crackle and pop. The heat of it flashed to his face and only added to the heat from his own eyes.
Suddenly behind the fire, someone was now standing there, and that someone was looking back at him. He noticed that it was Robert.
“Welcome home Jimmy.” Robert left his side of the fire and walked towards his left. The orange glow of the flames caressed his face. Even with this said, his eyes still burned with the deepest blue sparkle that seemed to light up his soul. They looked as bright as the clearest sun quenched sky. “Welcome to your past. Welcome to the person that you were before.” He stopped and turned to the fire. “Is this the place that you saw before?” He turned back. “Is this the same fire that you saw before?”
Jimmy watched him come to him and when he was there, standing with him, he looked back to the flames. “Yes it is. I’ve been here twice before. It’s the same place. It all looks the same, except I was dead then.” He turned back to Robert. “Does this mean that we’re both dead now?” After all this was the same place, he was sure of it, and being that it was when he knew that he was dead, it made sense to ask.
“This is the place where all of us Wanderers go in between life. This is the fire that burns within all of us. We live within the flames. The flames live within us. Do you understand this?”
Jimmy nodded. “I’ve been told this already.”
Robert felt surprised by this. “Who told you that?”
“A friend. He was here the first time with me. So was
Kalima.”
“Kalima was here too?” Robert had trouble grasping this. “Why was he here?”
Jimmy shook his head. “I don’t know. I only saw the wolf.”
Robert nodded, figuring that he would learn everything soon enough. “This is also the place where we finally see who we really are.” Robert looked around both of them as he talked. When he finished, he looked back to Jimmy. “This is our home.”
Jimmy listened. He already understood what this place meant. Kenny told him that much, but the last part of what he heard stuck in his mind. “What do you mean about finally seeing who we really are? What do you mean about coming home?”
Robert grinned with a subtle smile. “Memories are like a mist Jimmy. They are like a fog. Sometimes they are thick and we are able to grasp them firmly, but at other times, they are whimsical and not quite there. They slip through our mind almost like we are trying to grip water with our hands. When we come here, when we come to this place, which all of us can do whenever we wish to, they shine to us out from the darkness, and rise up to where we can see them clearly.” He looked at the flames and then back to Jimmy again. “Do you understand what I’m saying Jimmy?”
Jimmy nodded. That does make sense. Why? I’ll probably never know the truth of it, but I have to take it as such. “I can see why you didn’t want to do this when I was injured. Being here like this again is like being dead.” He nodded again. “It is death.”
“It is a place of solitude between lives only. Without the body to go back to you may not be able to go back at all.”
Jimmy continued listening to every word, and continued nodding with all of them. “So coming here is like living. It allows us to see what our lives meant.”
Robert smiled. “Somewhat, yes. It is where the memories live so we can never forget them.”
“And if I lift the darkness, if I see through it, I’ll see my memories. I’ll see who I was.”
Robert nodded. “That is what we are here for. We have to raise the darkness of your past and shine the light on you in order to see who you were.”
A Werewolf's Saga Books 4, 5, & 6 (A Werewolf's Saga Boxed Sets Book 2) Page 26