by Sadie Moss
The pain she must have felt…
It should come as no surprise that she put away my worldly belongings.
Nolan shoves the box into the center of the room and kneels alongside me as I open the hinged lid. “Why do you need the carving? It’s of no practical use.”
“It is to me,” I say, digging into my old clothes. The little carving, rough as it is, has always meant so much to me. It represents everything I love about Nolan. About my family. About my home. “I can’t really explain it to you.”
“You could. But you won’t.” He frowns slightly, sitting back on his heels. “It’s one of those ‘afterlife and death’ things I don’t need to know, huh?”
“Exactly.” I let out a little sound of triumph as my fingers find the carving beneath a pile of skirts. I pull it from the box, gazing down at the roughly shaped wooden horse affectionately. He’s right, in a way—it was never meant to be a practical object. But warmth and love fills me now as I look at it, and I know it’s exactly the thing I need to bind me to this world. To life.
I hold it out to my brother. “Kiss it. For luck.”
He raises an eyebrow, but bless him, he doesn’t argue. He just leans over and pecks the dark wood. “For luck,” he adds.
We both leave the bedroom and find my mother sitting at the kitchen table as my three men hover around the room, each of them seeming even larger somehow as their bodies fill the space of the small hut.
“Could I have a moment alone with my family?” I ask of them all. My hand is still in the pocket of my skirt, wrapped around the small horse.
“Of course,” Echo says immediately, nudging Paris. All three men make their way to the door and disappear outside on a cold wind.
I sit across from my mother, while Nolan takes a seat next to me.
“You look so different,” she says quietly, squeezing my hand.
“I’ve had a rough time since we last met. Though not nearly as rough as you,” I rush to add, so that it doesn’t seem as if I’m downplaying what an awful lot they’ve drawn here.
“No, sweet Sage. Not in a bad way. You look… happy. Rested. Healthy.” Her gaze moves over me from head to toe, probably noting the expensive fabric of my dress and the way my bones don’t stick out like hers do. “You’ll never know the depths of my joy to see you so happy in death.”
I feel a bone-deep need to apologize to her—and to Nolan—for my current state. My clothes are torn and ragged from the many fights I’ve been in recently, but I washed them in a stream just yesterday, and despite my time in Kaius’s dungeon, I’m healthy and hale now.
It isn’t fair that I’m clearly doing much better than they are. They know nothing of Kaius’s rage, or of how constantly I’ve had to fight for my life. They only know this small world and their role in it. As far as they can tell, I’ve transcended that world. And it makes my heart ache to sit across from them like this, so close, but somehow… so far away.
“I don’t think you’re my daughter anymore,” Mother says. At the look of horror on my face, she chuckles. “No, I mean—you are my daughter, and you always will be. But the woman you’ve become since your death? Whoever she is, she’s not the same woman who left us.”
“You’re right,” I say softly, looking at the scratched wooden tabletop so that I don’t have to meet her loving gaze. “I no longer feel like the old Sage either.”
“I don’t know what’s happened to you in your time away from us, but I have a sense it’s leading you to your greater purpose.” Her hand moves to rest over mine, squeezing gently. “So keep going, my girl. And know that I will always love you.”
Our goodbyes feel final this time.
I know that time is ticking away, and every moment I stay in this house with these two people is another moment someone somewhere else may die in Zelus’s name.
But I take my time telling them goodbye, and I take my time memorizing their faces and the way they hug me. If this is the last time I ever see them, I want the memory so firmly entrenched in my soul that I’ll never lose it.
Some time later, I step through the front door of my cabin, tears burning in my eyes. I feel as if I’ve lost this life three times over. Not just the night I sacrificed myself on the sacred altar of Zelus, but also the night I walked away after my men saved Nolan’s life. And again in this moment, with this crushing certainty that I’m never going to return.
My men all turn around on the dead grass several yards away from my house as I approach. I’m sure they can tell I’ve been crying, especially when Callum pulls me into his arms.
He rests his chin on my head, his heart beating against my ear. “I wish we could make this easier for you, little soul.”
I sniffle and pull away from his grasp, though all I want to do is stay in his arms until the end of time. The wooden horse weighs heavy in my pocket, and I know we need to proceed with our plan, as dangerous and possibly hopeless as it may be.
Sadness touches Callum’s gaze, and he reaches out to wipe away my tears. “Is there something we can do to help you? To make this hurt less?”
I’m about to tell him no, but something stops my mouth. Is there?
I stare at him, my mind working fast. I can still feel the points of my mother’s bones against my body. For all I know, she won’t survive the winter. And if she doesn’t, what happens to Nolan? He’s hardly a child anymore, but could he survive on his own? Would someone from the village take him in when they can’t even feed their own families?
Food. It all goes back to food.
My family is starving.
“Maybe there is something you can do to help me,” I whisper, straightening my shoulders. My gaze slips from Callum, to Echo, to Paris. They’re all facing me, waiting for my next words with not a hint of doubt on their expressions.
“Speak the words,” Callum grunts. “And we will do our best.”
I steel my gaze and catch his eye. “Will you hunt with me?”
8
Armed with the weapons we brought from the men’s house and a few from the storehouse that haven’t been confiscated by soldiers, my three messengers and I walk into the forest, taking the familiar path to the fairy circle.
Even Callum hasn’t protested this delay. I know it’s a risk for us to stay here too long—the longer we take to enact our plan to reach the third realm, the more humans may die in Kaius’s war. And the more likely his hounds will be able to track us down.
But this may be my last opportunity to do something for my village and my family. If we can’t escape extinguishment in our quest to find the Weaver, then I won’t ever have another chance to do something to help. While I have the power within reach, I want to provide for my family. One last time.
The overgrown path opens into the fairy clearing, and I step into the hallowed circle, taking a deep breath. Crisp autumn air has replaced the summer scent of wildflowers and grass, and everything green has begun to turn to fall browns and reds.
“This is where it all began,” I tell Echo as he pauses beside me. “The pixies in this clearing told me to sacrifice myself to Zelus to save my people. So I did.” I turn to him and study his face, my gaze running over the strong line of his jaw and the slight crook in his nose. “That’s what led me to you.”
Callum steps up on my other side, scanning the clearing around us as he says, “You were a frightened soul when we found you.”
“But fierce, even then,” Paris adds from over my shoulder. He often seems to be behind me, as if content to always have my back in any situation. Either that, or he just really likes the look of me from behind. “So fierce that you seemed certain you could take us on.”
“I could still take you on.” I arch a brow, shooting him a look over my shoulder, and all three men laugh.
“Where should we go?” Callum asks, looking at me to lead.
Perhaps I ought to be getting used to it by now, but I still find myself a bit taken aback by his question and by his willingness to let me dictate ou
r plan. The Callum I met all those weeks ago when I passed from this realm into the afterworld was like a block of granite.
Unmoving. Unshakeable.
That man barely seemed to think I was capable of walking on my own, let alone leading. He would’ve found every reason not to listen to me or follow me.
We’ve all come such a long way since that day.
“We’ll head deeper into the woods.” I jerk my chin, pointing south. “We can use the weave to go farther than my people are able to go in one day of hunting. I’m hoping if we go to the most remote areas of the mountains, far from any human settlement, we’ll find animals.”
Callum nods. “I think that’s a brilliant plan.”
I reach out and grasp the weave without any further discussion, though my cheeks are hot from his compliment. I’m definitely still not used to it.
We don’t go far—just a few tugs on the magic, then we exit into a thickly forested wood.
My feet freeze on the bed of crushed leaves and undergrowth as I open my senses to the forest around us. I hear birdsong, light and distant, and somewhere close by, the soft swish of a creature walking over the debris of the forest floor.
Grinning, I glance at the men and place a finger to my lips. With my other hand, I draw an arrow from the quiver slung over my back, then I swing my borrowed bow around and nock the arrow. I’m almost certain we’ve come far enough away from any human settlements, and if I have anything to say about it, we won’t be returning to my village without food.
I race into the thick trees on light feet, clutching my bow and arrow in a firm grip, ready to take aim and fire at the first sight of prey. I’ve become adept at hunting and fighting with the weave on my side—using the magic to strengthen my senses, to put on bursts of speed to pursue animals. I utilize the things Echo has taught me, and my messengers keep up at my back with their own weapons at the ready.
Even as I run, I reach out with my senses, and it doesn’t take long before I pick up hints of an animal in the distance.
At first, all I have is a vague sense of the animal. I hear it crashing through the undergrowth up ahead, and I catch a few glimpses of it, shadowy and indistinct amidst a sea of trees.
Then, with another grasp of the weave, I zip forward at high speed. I circle around the creature in a flash and appear on the ground ahead of it while my men flank its rear.
It’s a wild boar. A big, thick male with a dense winter coat and dangerous tusks. I fight the urge to shout in triumph—this beast will feed the whole village for a week.
The boar skids to a stop and backs away from me, only to realize he’s been surrounded. His survival instinct kicks in, and with a fierce snarl, he leaps at me.
I fall backward to my ass and let my arrow loose at the boar’s doughy underbelly as he hurtles through the air. Before I can even see the arrow hit its mark, I roll out of range of the beast’s cloven hooves.
He lands, and I swear I can feel the ground tremble beneath his weight. I scramble to my feet as all three men jump into action with their spears, then I whip around and take aim with another arrow, aiming for the beady black eye.
But I’ve gotten too farsing cocky.
My arrow flies wide and deflects off the creature’s tusk. With a bone-chilling snarl, he dodges Echo’s spear and runs at me.
I don’t even think this time. The boar is charging for me full-tilt, all powerful bulk and vicious tusks that could spear right through my torso. The dagger at my side and the borrowed bow aren’t a match for this thing.
So I reach for the weave instead.
Like I did with the guards back in Kaius’s dungeon, I toss my strand toward the boar’s legs. The magic loops around his hooves and draws all four limbs together, sending his massive weight crashing to the forest floor at my feet. Dropping the bow, I rip my dagger from its sheath and jam it into the creature’s neck, ripping upward to open a fatal gash.
His body jerks, then goes still.
It was a quick death.
I stand over the boar, breathing hard from the exertion and adrenaline. His blood seeps out in a puddle beneath him, his life force returning to the forest through the dirt.
Callum stoops down and flips the creature over, admiring my handiwork. He yanks the arrow out of the boar’s underside and hands it to me. “Nicely done.” One corner of his lips tilts up. “You hardly needed us here.”
“I hunted for my people for so long, it’s become as innate as walking.” I shrug, wiping my blade on the boar’s hide to get the blood off. “And now that I have the weave to help me…”
Echo joins us. He’s grabbed a thick stick from the undergrowth, and he slides it between the boar’s legs. “You’re a natural.” He winks at me as Paris leans over and ties the boar’s hooves together with leather straps we borrowed from the storehouse as well. “It’s an honor to hunt beside you.”
Callum and Paris heft the trussed up boar on the stick over their shoulders, and we take the weave back to my village. It looks less empty and abandoned this time, which gives me a small burst of hope. Several women are out and about, doing chores, hanging laundry to dry, or just congregating on the dirt road to discuss current events. When my men and I emerge from the forest with the massive dead boar carried between us, everyone races to meet us.
I receive hugs and thanks all around, while my men earn awkward handshakes and somewhat wary nods. My mother and several other women waste no time putting together a large bonfire to cook the creature.
“Stay and eat with us,” Mother insists. “Please, stay. Fill your bellies and get a good night’s rest before you return to complete your business. The Dalton cabin is available for you.”
My heart clutches at the hope and happiness in her voice. I wonder fleetingly if I’m only making our ultimate goodbye harder and more painful by dragging this out. Like pouring alcohol in an open wound over and over.
But I can’t regret our decision to stay and procure food for the village.
And now that the adrenaline of the hunt has worn off, I’ve come to realize how tired I am. Those awful days and nights in Kaius’s prison are finally catching up to me. We’ve already lost several hours though, so when I turn to Callum, I make sure the resolute expression on my face says I won’t argue with whatever he decrees.
But the tall warrior shrugs. “A warrior fights best well-rested and well-fed.”
I bite back a broad smile and look back at my mother. “All right. We’ll stay. How can we help with dinner preparations?”
“We can handle it.” She shakes her head, squeezing my shoulder. “Why don’t the four of you go get cleaned up and join us in an hour to eat?”
I follow my mother’s instructions, knowing she won’t budge from her stance even if I argue, and lead my messengers to the Dalton cabin along the outskirts of the village. The Daltons have been gone for some time now, an entire family destroyed by the state of the realm. Their homestead is small but comfortable, and once Echo gets the fire roaring in the hearth, it warms up fast.
We take turns washing in the single wash basin, using cold water instead of trying to heat it up pitcher by pitcher. The men let me go first while they clean their weapons—and mine—from the hunt. By the time I finish and pull on one of my old dresses, I’m shivering from the cold.
I move to the fireplace and stand close to the hearth with a threadbare blanket wrapped around my shoulders. The men gather around the wash basin, talking low as they clean up, and though I don’t listen to what they’re saying, just the drone of their voices eases the tension in my shoulders.
We’re all here, together.
We’re alive and unhurt, even after all the pain and suffering we’ve survived in recent days.
The fire warms my skin. I wrap my arms around myself and close my eyes, letting their voices melt into a kind of beautiful background melody. I don’t know how long I stand here, lost in the sound of them and the steadying warmth of the flames, before Callum joins me.
“Al
l right?” he asks softly from behind me. He grips both my shoulders and gently squeezes, then his hands slip to my elbows and he spins me to face him. The firelight reflects off his bright green eyes as he studies me.
“I’m fine.” I give him a small smile. It’s not a lie—I am upset that I’ll have to leave my family soon. I think maybe I made a mistake in agreeing to stay, and that dinner will just be reopening a fresh wound on my heart. But I am fine, even with all that on my mind. I reach out and adjust the crooked buttons on his tunic. “I’m fine because I’m here with you. We’re all safe and alive. I couldn’t ask for more.”
His gaze drops to my lips, and his eyes grow hooded. The metamorphosis sends my heart racing, and I slide my hands up the front of his shirt. Hard muscles tense beneath the fabric, responding to my touch.
Callum tugs on my arms, pulling me in to him as he leans down to kiss me.
I’m still not quite used to this easy, open affection from him, and it makes butterflies flap in my stomach. Something shifted between us the day we escaped Kaius’s dungeons, and I don’t think it will ever go back to the way it was.
All the walls have come down between us, and they’ll never go back up.
The large, stoic warrior is still the same man he always was—but now he allows me to see more of him, to see past the hard exterior to the gentleness that lives beneath.
When he touches me, I feel precious.
When he kisses me, I feel loved.
“We will never leave you, Sage,” he murmurs in the moments when his lips break from mine, in between kisses that make my head swim. “Ever.”
I wrap my arms tighter around him, going up onto my tiptoes to bring our bodies even closer together, answering him without words.
I’m so lost in the connection between us that I almost forget we’re giving the other two messengers quite a show until soft hands brush my hair away from my neck. I feel the warmth of Echo and Paris behind me just before their lips find my skin, and I hum into Callum’s mouth.
A moment ago, when Callum pulled me into his arms to kiss me, I thought I was complete.