He left his knee where it was and gave her a long look. It was ironic really, but she had a lump in her throat and a quietness in her soul, as if peace had been restored to her world. She had forgotten how balanced she’d always felt around Jeremy. Not like Michael at all—he kept her on her toes, second-guessing everything she did. Jeremy accepted her as she was. Imperfections, moods and all.
Michael glanced their way and then turned his attention once again on Melody, but not before she saw his eyes darken with rage. Spurred by guilt she went to get up but Jeremy put his hand on her leg to stop her. “Let him come to you,” he said softly.
Mary looked distressed. “Can I get some more appetizers for the table? Jeremy, you haven’t eaten a thing.”
“We had sandwiches and chicken onboard. I’m good.”
Mary stood anyway. “I could use some of those chicken wings and mini crab cakes. I’ll bring us back a little taste of everything.”
“I’ll take one of those hamburger sliders,” John told her.
“Why don’t you help me?” She signaled for her husband to get off his fanny and give them a private moment. “We’ll bring back two plates.”
John pushed up from his chair. He was a big man, tall like his sons but with a wide girth from too much of the good life. He was retired and played golf for recreation. Nadine’s heart twinged as John took Mary’s hand and walked toward the buffet. She wanted Michael to show her affection like that. If he couldn’t do it before the wedding, what would happen after?
“It’s funny you and I…here, alone, together.” Jeremy gave her a solemn look and she had no idea what was in his mind. Did he have regrets? Did he still have feelings for her, or was she just someone from his past, now to be a friend?
“Funny, how?”
He leaned toward her, making her pulse jump with awareness. “I don’t know how you feel about me, or if you feel anything at all. But sitting near you like this, it’s like old times. Like we never really parted.”
Her pulse leapt with alarm. She moved back in her chair. “But we did. That was a long time ago. You left me.”
His jaw tightened and he swallowed hard. He nodded. “Yes, I did. Best thing for you too—I would’ve dragged you down, Nadine.”
“I should be the judge of that.”
“No, you shouldn’t.” He gently touched her hand. She snatched it away. “I’m sorry for the pain I caused you, but I wasn’t myself. I didn’t trust myself around you. I was afraid I could hurt you. The nightmares, the flashbacks…”
He’d been worried about physically hurting her? She knew he would never have done so…and in the process he’d torn out her heart rather than give them a chance. “Well, you did.”
“Yes, and I’m sorry for that. But I had serious psychological problems back then, rages I couldn’t control. It’s better, but it took me time and therapy to get to the place where I am now.”
His apology eased something inside her. “I’m glad you’re doing better.” She glanced over at Michael wishing he’d come and rescue her. Rescue her from what? Jeremy, his feelings. It was too late for them, and it didn’t help to rake up old feelings. Hell, she was marrying his brother in forty-eight hours.
Michael shot her another angry look, his fist tightening around his glass so hard she could see the white of his knuckles from across the pool.
“Are you happy, Nadine? Does Michael give you enough?”
How awful, that Jeremy knew Michael wasn’t giving her his all. “What kind of question is that?” She scooted her chair away so that their legs didn’t touch. “You have no right to ask me that.”
“I know,” he said in a low growl. “I promised myself that I wouldn’t impose myself on you this weekend. I’d keep my distance. But I can’t.” He looked over at Michael. “He’s my brother and I love him, but he’s not the man for you. Look at him. Flirting right in front of you. How could he do that to the one he loves?”
She locked eyes with Jeremy, and her insides churned. She’d been a fool to think her feelings were gone, because they’d returned in full, heart-wrenching force. Too little, too late. She was marrying his brother.
“Don’t say that,” she whispered. “Not ever again. Michael is going to be my husband. I love him, Jer. I do.” Of course the love she shared with Michael was different than what she’d had with Jeremy. She’d chalked it up to Jeremy being her first love, her first heart break. Her stomach fluttered. Was it true? Or did she just want to believe it so badly, to have a marriage like her mom’s and dad’s? She didn’t know, and she wished she could talk to her mother about this. But her mom was gone, and her dad was with Anna.
Mary, plate of appetizers in hand, stopped next to Michael, and bent down to whisper in his ear. Reluctantly it seemed, he got to his feet, sending her a petulant look.
Jeremy stood to leave. “I’m sorry, but you deserve better.”
The knife inside her twisted. “So do you. Be happy, Jer. Please?”
He didn’t answer, but stepped aside when Michael came up to the table. “I kept your seat warm,” he told his brother with strength behind the words.
“Thanks, bro.” He bent to kiss her, and made it a good one, then sat down, taking her hand in his.
Jeremy left with a snort of disgust.
Mary and John delivered extra plates of food on the table and sat down. “Eat up, you two, and then I’m sure you lovebirds have something better to do than hang around here with us.” His mother’s mouth tightened, and John made a harrumphing noise in his throat.
Michael snagged a slider, and bit into it with a smug expression. He made no apology for his actions, and neither did she expect to get one. Michael was Michael. All charm, all play, a take it or leave it kind of guy.
For better or worse he was the man she’d picked and would marry on Friday.
CHAPTER NINE
After they’d eaten their fill, Nadine suggested that they go for a walk. Two mudslides had gone down easily, but she felt a little tipsy as she stood up and grabbed his arm.
“The sunset is so beautiful. Let’s find a place on the beach to sit and enjoy it. Besides I haven’t had you alone all day.” She imagined her life would be like that–always fighting for his attention, some alone time together.
He got up, stretched, and yawned. “I know, sugar. It’s been a long day for me too. A walk will do me some good, then an early night.”
As they walked away, she bumped his shoulder. “With me, right? I have wine and beer back at the cabin.”
“I don’t think I could get it up if I tried. Fishing all day was more physically draining than two rounds of golf.”
She tried to bury her hurt, but it was hard to swallow. “We don’t have to do anything. You can just hold me, and sleep with me. I missed you today.”
“You had fun with your friends, right? Melody was telling me all about your day. Said you were bent out of shape about some house you’d wanted to see.”
“Melody? Well, since you know everything already I guess there’s nothing else for me to say.” She stormed off and he caught up with her, just past the mangrove bush.
“Wait a sec. That’s not what I meant.” He swooped her into his arms and carried her down to the edge of the water. “Say you forgive me or I’m going to toss you in.”
She pounded on his back. “Put me down, you fool. You’re not getting away with dunking me twice.” Even in jest, a sliver of trust was gone.
“Why not?” He put her down but kept an arm slung around her neck. “Let’s go find a deserted part of the beach, and have a little fun. Then a swim.”
“It’s not dark enough to do that, and I’m really not in the mood.”
“Why aren’t you in the mood?” he asked, his confident grin fading.
“You embarrassed me tonight. Hanging around Melody the way you did. Even your mom and dad picked up on it.”
“You and Jeremy seemed overly chummy, but I didn’t say anything, did I?”
“No, but it if bo
thered you at all, why didn’t you just come over and interrupt. I was hoping you would.”
“You were?” His eyes searched her face, and she saw something in his that surprised her. Uncertainty. His look of arrogance was gone.
She melted a little. “Yes—I’m marrying you, idiot, not your brother.”
“Well, if my talking to Melody bothered you, why didn’t you come over and take me away?”
“That shouldn’t be necessary! What happens when you’re on tour and I’m not around? If you can’t simply walk away from some pretty girl then we’re in deep trouble.” She stepped back, on guard again. Knowing they were in for a rocky beginning no matter what.
“I didn’t say I couldn’t walk away. That’s the easy part. I wasn’t sure that you wanted me too.”
“Are you crazy? Of course I did.” So that was the reason. He was more insecure than she’d thought, especially when it came to her and his brother. Now his actions all made sense. And because she’d felt the return of those feelings for Jeremy, she was guilty too.
“Okay,” she said cautiously, looking up and down the beach. “We both made a mistake, and I won’t let it happen again. Now, let’s go find a spot and have some fun. We have some making up to do.”
He pulled her to him and gave her a hot and happy kiss. “Now you’re talking my language.” Taking her hand he said, “Let’s leave our shoes next to the path by the mangroves and take a walk. It’ll be dark soon. We can watch the sunset, fool around a little, see what happens.” He nibbled her thumb knuckle, his eyes twinkling again.
She giggled. “You are a bad boy but that’s part of your charm.” Nadine removed her sandals.
After he kicked his loafers off, they made their way back to the water’s edge, walking along the cool sand, the waves lapping at their feet, fingers entwined. This was the happiest she’d felt all day.
Jeremy was wrong. Michael loved her with everything he had and was going to make her happy. She loved him too.
“What?” he asked, noticing a shift in her mood.
“Nothing. But I love you like this. Us. Being together. We never seem to be alone anymore.”
“Don’t start with that. You know how busy my life is,” his tone was angry, not what she wanted at all.
“I know—I’m sorry I brought it up. But this is so lovely. Just you and me. I want our wedding to be perfect. A wonderful start for our amazing life together.”
He laughed. “You are such a romantic.”
“And a realist. Love and happiness are attainable—marriage is what two people make of it. It needs to be cherished and cared for, not taken for granted.”
“Yeah, yeah, yeah. I’ll cherish you as soon as we find a suitable spot.” He drew her hand to his mouth and kissed it, then lowered it to the bulge in his pants. “I’m getting hard right now, thinking about having you on this sandy beach.”
“It’ll be grainy and rough, won’t it? Don’t want to be missing any skin on my wedding day!”
His eyes glittered. “I won’t let that happen. You can be on top.”
They were far enough away from the cottages, that they couldn’t hear anyone or see the lights. The next resort was just within eyesight. She headed for the mangroves at the far end of the beach. “This place looks quiet enough. What do you say?”
“Take your clothes off. I want to see you standing here on the beach naked.”
Her pulse raced. She was frightened. What if somebody came by and saw them? The sun was dipping low on the horizon, the sky a blur of pinks, purples and dark swirls. The beach was deserted. Should she, or shouldn’t she?
Seeing the challenge in his eye, she lifted her halter top over her head and dropped it in the sand.
“Your turn. Remove one piece of clothing.”
He took off his shirt, and eyed her breasts. She was wearing pink lace—bra and matching panties. “Now your bra.”
She unhooked it, and let it fall.
“Your shorts,” she told him.
He undid his buckle and let his pants fall down his legs, kicking them free.
“Now yours,” he said in a husky whisper.
“Your jockey shorts too,” she said sliding out of her snug jean shorts, being careful with her pocket which contained the cabin key.
He took his off and his cock sprang free. Then he pushed her down in the sand, rolled her on top, and looked her in the face, cupping her bottom. “You missed me? Well, baby here I am. All yours.”
She bent and kissed his mouth. She rubbed her nipples over his chest, hoping to get turned on before he noticed she wasn’t. Worry about being caught killed her natural desire.
“Nice,” he murmured, using one hand to tweak her nipples.
She let her breasts sway towards his mouth, wanting him to get her nipples hard, and her wet.
“The condom? Where is it?” she asked.
“Oh fuck!”
At his angry tone, she pushed herself off of him, the energy between them shriveling her budding desire. “What? You don’t have one?”
“No. I left it in the room. Didn’t expect to need it at happy hour.”
“Well, I guess we could do without it this once.” She traced his bare abdomen and watched the muscle tense. “After all, we’ll be married in a day or two.”
He jumped up and grabbed his jockey shorts, stepping into them. “No. I can’t take a chance. There isn’t time for a baby. Not now. My career is just getting started.”
She stared at him, feeling like a puppy that had just been kicked. He knew how much she wanted a family of their own.
“It wouldn’t affect your career. You could still go on tour. I’d be the one at home having your child.” Tears came to her eyes, and she grabbed her clothes, holding them in front of her naked body.
“No. And don’t cry!” He turned from her to put on his clothes. “You’re being unreasonable about this.”
“Yeah, right. I’m unreasonable. I asked you to come to the cottage with me, to sleep with me—the beach was your idea.”
“Not a very good one, as it turned out.”
“You can say that again.” Trembling, she straightened her top and patted her pocket to make sure she had her key. To lock him out.
“You’re turning into a nag.”
“I am not.” She hurried down the beach, just wanting to be alone. Michael quickly caught up with her and grabbed her arm, making her almost trip in the surf. She hid her tears and tightened her jaw.
“Don’t be mad,” he cajoled, boyish brown eyes filled with sorrow. “You know I love you.”
For however much he was capable… “I know.” Was it enough? “I love you too.”
* * *
He walked her back to the cabin but didn’t stay—saying that his buddies wanted to hit a few bars in town. He didn’t invite her along.
Nadine was tired and didn’t argue. It had been a long, active day that had ended terribly. She took a warm bath, then turned on the TV, wondering what her friends were up to tonight. Had they been invited to go out on the town with the “boys”? Massaging a spot between her brow to fight the onset of a headache, she realized that is was just as well she stayed home.
There was fresh fruit and microwave popcorn on the counter, so absentmindedly she picked off a few grapes and nuked the popcorn. She’d had too much to drink today and little to eat. The realization that Michael didn’t want her pregnant right away caused more hurt and trepidation.
He’d made an immediate decision for himself when he’d forgotten a condom. She had a strong hunch her entire marriage would be like that—and come to think of it, so had their relationship. She better get used to it, because if his career continued to climb, she would be even lower on the totem pole.
Feeling blue, she decided to text her friends to see what they were up to. Not that she wanted to go out to play but she’d like one of her gal pals to keep her company.
Ashley replied right away. “We’re at Lorelei’s. Place is hopping. Why don’t yo
u and Michael join us? All his friends are here.”
“Uh-huh. Sounds like you’re all having fun. So which one are you interested in?” she asked, ready for some girl talk.
“Uh…nobody. They’re good looking, but kind of full of themselves, ya know? Not really my type.”
“Awww… I thought Devon seemed sweet, and since you’re my best friend in the entire world, I’d like you to fall madly in love with a golfer too, so we could hang around the golfing world together.”
Ashley laughed. “Keep dreaming my friend. The guys have a swarm of girls around them as we speak. Guess they’re like celebrities or something.”
“Well, that’s a pain.”
“I guess so, but there’s a cute guy at the bar making eyes at me. Things are looking up. So come join us.”
“No, I’m exhausted. Didn’t get a chance to rest today.” Nadine didn’t want to share with her best friend about the recent fight. Ashley would take her side, but Michael would look bad.
“Is Michael with you?”
“No. Said he was meeting up with his buddies. Let me know if he shows, okay?”
“Sure, but the fact he left you alone seems kind of wrong to me.”
Nadine felt that way too, but her pride made her defend him. “His single days will be over soon, so cut him some slack. As long as he behaves it’s fine by me. I’m beat and we have a full day tomorrow. Remember, Anna booked us for a snorkeling trip in the morning and then the afternoon at the spa for our mani/pedis.” She yawned. “Have fun, but not too much.”
“Okay, but Michael just walked in. Sure you don’t want to get your ass over here? He’s gorgeous, and the ladies notice.”
“I’m sure.” She closed her eyes, picturing the girls swarming all over him. She spoke with more heat than she intended. “Hell Ashley, if I can’t trust him now, then I shouldn’t be marrying him, right?”
“If you say so, but there’s a lot of gals here shaking their booties. I think you should have Michael on a short leash.”
Right Man/ Wrong Groom: Paradise Cove Series - Destination Wedding Book 1 Page 8