by Linda Bridey
Tessa smiled. “Jack, we’re going to eat very soon. I don’t want you to ruin your dinner.”
“I won’t ruin it. I’m real hungry,” Jack said.
Tessa was becoming irritated. “Jackson, I said no.”
The boy’s expression became mutinous. “I say yes.”
She gave him a direct stare. “You will do as I say, Jackson.” She always called Jack by his full name when he misbehaved. It was rare he did so.
“Don’t call me that,” he said as Dean entered the kitchen.
“Then behave yourself and stop arguing with me,” Tessa said.
“I want a cookie!” Jack said. “Pa, tell her I can have a cookie.”
Dean wasn’t about to interfere. He had wondered when something like this would come up. It was important that the children learn that he wasn’t going to intercede on their behalf when Tessa was disciplining them. “You talk to your mother about that,” he said. The words were out before he could stop them.
He and Tessa exchanged startled looks and Tessa couldn’t prevent the pleased smile that broke out on her face.
“She’s not my ma, Pa,” Jack said.
Dean gave his son a stern look and said, “She is now, Jack.”
Tessa said, “No, I do not wish to be your ‘ma’, Jack. No one will ever replace your ma, but what if I were to be ‘Mama’ to you?” she suggested.
Jack gave her a critical look and said, “Only if I can have a cookie.”
“What a little blackmailer you are,” she said. “No.”
Jack said, “You can’t tell me what to do!”
“Jackson, you need to stop this right now or I will take you over my knee and you will not be able to sit for a week!” Tessa said with a fierce expression. “Do you understand me, young man?”
Jack quieted and dropped his eyes. Quietly, he said, “Yes, Mama.”
Tessa had to turn away to hide her eyes that suddenly welled with tears. “Good. Now go wash up for supper, please.”
Jack got off Geoff’s lap and said, “Yes, ma’am,” before running upstairs.
Dean heard Tessa sniff and said, “Are you ok?”
“I’m fine. I just wasn’t expecting that. It was very touching, that’s all,” Tessa said.
“Ok. I’ll go wash up, too,” Dean said and followed his son.
Geoff said, “You’re becoming a good mother, Tessa.”
“Thank you, Papa. You go wash up, too,” she said as she wiped her eyes with a handkerchief and blew her nose.
“Yes, ma’am,” he said, imitating Jack.
As he moved toward the stairs, Tessa threw him a grateful smile for lightening the mood a little.
Geoff was startled at the rowdy affair supper turned out to be. Seth had come wandering in right as they were sitting down. He’d made Marcus move to a different chair because he liked to sit facing the door for some reason.
Marcus grudgingly made the move, saying, “You’re too nosey for your own good.”
“Shut up, Marcus,” Seth said.
“He’s right. You just wanna see what’s goin’ on out there.” Dean grinned.
“Tessa, that roast looks delicious,” Seth said with a smile as he pointedly ignored his brothers. “Oh, I’m Seth, by the way. You must be Geoff.”
He reached across the table to shake Geoff’s hand. Ignoring Seth’s bad manners, Geoff shook it. “Good to meet you, Seth.”
“Same here. So you tracked your girl down, huh? Bet it’s a surprise to find her at a place like this,” Seth said as they started passing food.
Tessa always made very large meals because all of the men had healthy appetites. However, Seth ate the most. Marcus called him a ‘bottomless pit’. Much like Jack, the man was always hungry.
Geoff wanted to be truthful but diplomatic. “Yes, it’s very different from her old life, but it seems to be treating her well.”
“It is, Papa,” Tessa assured him. She watched Seth scoop up a large spoonful of potatoes and plop it onto his plate. She noticed that Geoff also watched with his eyebrows raised.
Marcus caught his expression and started grinning. He nudged Dean and motioned toward Seth, who was engrossed in his food. Dean chuckled and Marcus followed suit. Tessa tried not to laugh, but couldn’t help it.
Seth glanced up to see what was so funny and saw they were all looking at him. His brows knitted together and he said, “Ain’t you ever seen a hungry man? Mind your own business.”
Geoff laughed along with the others and Seth gave him a dirty look, too.
“Mama, can I have more taters?” Jack asked.
Sadie’s eyes held surprise when she heard what her brother had called Tessa. “’Mama’? We’re calling you ‘Mama’ now?”
Tessa said, “Only if you want to, Sadie. I won’t be offended if you don’t. I’ve always told you that I am not trying to take your mother’s place.”
Sadie swallowed hard and she said, “But you are kind of like a mother to us, right?”
“Yes, I am,” Tessa said.
“I think I like the idea of calling you ‘Mama’.” Sadie smiled at her.
“Sadie, I asked Mama a question. Let ‘er answer,” Jack said.
Tessa said, “You may have more potatoes, Jack.”
“Thanks,” Jack said and took the bowl from Marcus.
“Excuse me,” Dean said as he wiped his mouth and rose from the table. He went out the kitchen door and strode toward the barn.
“Where’s Pa goin’?” Jack asked, after swallowing a large mouthful of potatoes.
“I’m not sure,” Tessa said. She wondered what had upset Dean.
Marcus sighed. “I’ll go.”
Geoff put up a hand and said, “Allow me, please.”
Marcus had been halfway off his chair and he sat back down. “Ok.”
Geoff followed his son-in-law.
*****
Dean stood looking out onto the pasture beyond the main barn. Tears stung his eyes as he thought about Sarah. His mind conjured up her pretty face and the sound of her laughter. Dean had loved her deeply and hearing their children call Tessa a motherly name had created mixed feelings in him.
Seeing someone move into his periphery vision, Dean was surprised to see Geoff come to stand by him.
Geoff asked, “What has upset you, Dean?”
Dean shook his head. “It’s hard to explain.”
“That just means you find it hard to talk about,” Geoff said insightfully. “Dean, I can see that you are rather private about your feelings and I’ve only just met you. There are times, however, when it’s better to voice them.”
Dean sighed as he gathered his thoughts. “Geoff, I’ve seen so much death in my family in such a short time. Our parents both passed within two years of each other. I was nineteen when Pa died and twenty-one when Ma passed away. Sarah and I were married the year before Pa died. If I wouldn’t have had her, I probably would’ve gone insane with grief.”
Geoff laid a hand on Dean’s shoulder. His heart went out to the younger man. Though he made the comforting gesture, Geoff remained silent.
“Then five years after Ma died, my wife and child died during childbirth,” Dean said.
Geoff actually jerked with surprise. “Oh, Dean. I had no idea. I’m so sorry,” he said. Geoff could only imagine how much such painful grief must have weighed on Dean.
“At the age of twenty-six, I was a widower with two little kids to raise and I’d lost a child, too. I almost didn’t make it through it, Geoff. I’m not proud of it, but I gave in to the grief a lot. And then three years later, Marcus puts an ad in the papers back east for a mail-order-bride for me. Next thing I know, I get a letter from your daughter and I just had to write to her. At first, I was dead set against gettin’ involved with another woman. I was too scared.”
“I can understand that,” Geoff said.
Laughing a little, Dean said, “We wrote for about two months and then she said she wanted to come meet all of us. Geoff, I never expected t
o find anyone who would be willing to take on two kids who weren’t their own, but Tessa did. You see her with them. They’ve gotten very attached to her.”
“Yes, I do indeed see,” Geoff said with a chuckle. “And I have quickly come to be an adopted grandfather.”
Dean laughed. “Yeah, that’s Jack for you. Stubborn as the day is long. Once he gets something in his mind, that’s it. He’s like Seth that way.”
“Oh, I think he has a lot of his father in him, too,” Geoff said.
“I guess so,” Dean said with pride. “The truth is that I half hoped that the kids would want to call her Ma or something like that and the other half of me dreaded it.”
“Why?”
“Geoff, you’ve never lost the woman you were in love with and the mother of your children, have you?”
Geoff shook his head. “No, I haven’t.”
“It’s hard to let her go,” Dean said. “I have been bit by bit, but it’s hurt like hell. Finding out that I could be attracted to another woman besides Sarah was a shock. That was the first little bit I let go of Sarah. Then there was the first time I kissed Tessa and so it went. Little by little, I’m letting go of her. I think the last little bit is hearing the kids actually call Tessa a name that means she’s a mother to them. And although it makes me happy, it makes me sad, too. Does that make sense to you?”
Geoff cleared his throat against the constriction there and said, “Yes, Dean, it does. If I ever lost Maureen, I’m sure that I would feel the same way. After hearing all you’ve said, there’s a question I need to ask you, Dean. Do you love my daughter?”
It was the question Dean had been wrestling with for some time now. Dean looked deep within himself and thought about Geoff’s question some more. He smiled as he found the answer. “Yes, Geoff, I do. I never thought I’d fall in love again, but I have.” Now I just have to tell her. That is, if I can get her to talk to me.
“I’m glad to hear that, Dean. I want my daughter to be happy and it seems like she found happiness with you when she couldn’t find it with any of the men back home,” Geoff said.
Dean asked, “Why is that? I mean, she’s smart and beautiful and full of pluck. Who wouldn’t want her?”
“It wasn’t they who didn’t want her. It was her who didn’t want them. She found the men in our social circles boring and phony. Tessa wanted someone exciting and a man with substance.”
“I guess she thinks I’m exciting enough if she married me,” Dean said with a grin.
Geoff chucked. “Yes, I can see how she would. And you are a man with substance. You’re a hard worker who has come through the most horrible things life could throw at you and you’re still here. I’m sure one of the things that attracted Tessa to you was your fortitude to be able to go on after something like that.”
“Thank you, sir. That means a lot coming from my father-in-law,” Dean said. “Look, I’m not rich, but I’m a good provider and I’ll make sure there’s food on the table and clothes on everyone’s back. My brothers and I are working to make this place start to turn profits and I’ll do anything to make Tessa and the kids happy. You need to know those things about me.”
Geoff felt respect for Dean grow inside as he looked at the younger man. “As one father to another, you understand how much hearing you say that means. Before I go back to Pittsburgh and leave my daughter here, I need to know that she’s in good hands. From what I’ve seen in just one day, I’m inclined to believe that she is.”
Dean nodded and said, “Yes, sir, she is.”
Geoff smiled and walked away, leaving Dean alone with his thoughts once more.
Chapter Sixteen
Bedtime came and Dean couldn’t sleep as he lay on a bedroll on the floor. The thought of Tessa’s warm, shapely body only a few feet away tormented him. He tried everything to get to sleep from thinking about cattle prices in the fall to actually counting sheep. Nothing worked.
Tessa heard him tossing around and knew the feeling. She’d never understood what true passion was before marrying Dean and she longed for her husband. Sighing, Tessa rolled onto her back and looked at the ceiling.
“You can’t sleep, either,” came Dean’s voice from below the bed.
He'd startled her. “No, I can’t.”
“Tessa, how long is this gonna go on? Aren’t you as miserable as I am?” Dean asked as he rose and sat on the bed.
Her hands itched to touch his broad, muscular chest. The moonlight shone on his hair and turned it from golden blond to silver. His eyes roamed over her and there was no mistaking his desire for her. Tessa’s body reacted and she was sure he could see the same thing in hers.
Dean asked, “How long do I have to sleep on the floor and not beside my wife where I belong?”
Tears pricked the backs of her eyes. “I don’t know, Dean. Do you understand why I am hurt so much?”
Dean looked away for a moment and his jaw squared. “Do you understand how angry I am at you for not telling your family about marrying me?”
Tessa rolled back over. “I guess there are things that neither of us understands about the other. Goodnight, Dean.”
Dean made a sarcastic noise. “I guess so.”
Slow tears made their way down Tessa’s face as she felt Dean leave the bed and heard him lay down on the floor again.
*****
Tessa and Dean avoided each other the next day and it was apparent to everyone but the children that there was something wrong between them. Geoff tried to figure it out, but couldn’t. No one seemed inclined to fill him in, either. Finally, in the afternoon as Seth was showing him around the property, Geoff asked about it.
Seth said, “Geoff, it’s not exactly my place, but I don’t think you’re gonna get an answer from either of them at the moment, so I’ll tell you.”
“All right.”
Smiling Seth said, “As you can tell, Dean and I are not all that book smart. Pa was, but we’re not. Letter writin’ isn’t exactly our strong suit. Marcus, though, he’s sharp as a tack. I’ve read some things he’s written and only understood half of it. So, Dean had Marcus help him answer Tessa’s letters. I’ve never read any of her letters and it’s none of my business what’s in them. I’m curious, but I wouldn’t read them.”
Geoff chuckled. “That’s only human nature, Seth.”
“No, I got a bigger dose of curiosity than most people. Anyhow, Tessa didn’t know Marcus was doin’ this and her feelings are hurt because she feels like she doesn’t really know Dean. Thing is, everything that was in the letters is true, but it’s not how Dean would say it. You see what I mean?”
Geoff could indeed see what was wrong between them. “And now he is angry that she didn’t tell us about marrying Dean. I could tell that yesterday when I arrived.”
“Yeah. I get why she didn’t send a letter back to your family, though,” Seth said.
“Why?” Geoff asked.
“C’mon, Geoff. Be honest here. If Tessa had told you where she was right away and that she’d run away to the west to marry a rancher she didn’t know, what would you have done? Just what you did. You’d have come here and tried to stop the wedding,” Seth said with a direct gaze at the other man.
Geoff sighed. “Yes, I would have. Tessa was sneaky all the way around and I’m very angry with her about it, but I also understand why she did it. I’m afraid I didn’t listen to her like I should have,” he said.
Seth’s curiosity got the better of him. He intended to keep Geoff talking until he got the full story. “Oh? What about? I’m sorry. It’s none of my business…”
“No, I’d like to tell you,” Geoff said.
“Ok. If you’re sure,” Seth said.
“Yes. Truthfully, it’ll be good to get an objective opinion about it all,” Geoff said.
“Geoff, then how about we sit down in the barn out of the sun?” Seth said and led the way.
Once they’d settled on a couple of hay bales, Geoff said, “Women in our society are expected to
perform certain duties.”
Seth arched an eyebrow. “Like what?”
“Attending parties, making their husbands look good by being pretty and obedient. Charming guests and always being a lady,” Geoff said.
Seth frowned. “That sounds boring as hell.”
Geoff laughed. “That is just what my daughter kept saying, but no one really heard her, I’m afraid.”
“Why?”
“Because we thought we knew what was best for her,” Geoff said.
Seth didn’t want to appear critical but he said, “So you don’t want women who know their own minds? You’d rather have some kind of a puppet that you can make dance whenever you want to?” Seth heard what he’d just said. “Hey, that was pretty good. Sounds like something Marcus would say.”
Geoff smiled, despite the sting he felt from Seth’s words. “I think you’re smarter than you think you are, Seth.”
“Maybe I am,” Seth said doubtfully. “But I meant it. It sounds to me like you didn’t want to hear what Tessa was sayin’ because it went against what you thought she oughta want.”
“I didn’t think I was that kind of father, but now perhaps I see that I am. You see, our youngest daughter, Claire, is very intelligent and enjoys anything to do with education. I see nothing wrong with that. In fact, she has actually been helpful to me in business dealings. Sometimes she sees things that I have not. She’s only just turned sixteen, by the way.”
“Holy smokes,” Seth said. “I guess, too, she’s smart.”
“I allow her to go to the office with me and there are times when she is smarter than some of the people who work for me and it makes me very proud. This is why I thought I was more… tolerant of women who were intelligent and who perhaps didn’t completely fit in with societal norms for women,” Geoff said.
“But?” Seth said.
“I failed Tessa in that regard. Part of my anger is directed at myself because I didn’t listen as carefully as I should have. We didn’t really consider her feelings,” Geoff said.
“Geoff, this’ll sound funny, but I’m glad in a way that you didn’t.”
Geoff raised an eyebrow at Seth.
“Dean has hurt for a long time and Tessa makes him happy. I know they’re fightin’ right now, but I have faith that they’ll work it out. A lot of people don’t know this about me, but I have a romantic streak, at least where other people are concerned,” Seth said. “I haven’t seen Dean this happy in I can’t remember when. So at the risk of you sluggin’ me, I’m glad Tessa ran away and came here. Dean’s not the only one who’s happy she’s here. The rest of us are, too. Make no mistake about it, we all appreciate your daughter.”