Veronica’s heart beat like a trapped bird in her chest as they walked into the bowling alley. She was beyond nervous; she was scared. Exactly what she was scared of, she didn’t want to know, or refused to acknowledge. She barely listened while Marlene and Buck spoke to Jesse, then followed them like a puppet as they walked toward the lanes. Her bag felt like an anvil in her hand as they grew closer and the unmistakable form of a petite redhead came into view.
Patrice looked beautiful. Her black capri pants and red top accentuated her natural beauty, but her eyes were pools of dark blue.
“Hey y’all,” Patrice said as she stood to greet them.
Everyone said hello and Veronica mumbled something. She sat down and yanked open her bag, when Patrice’s hand touched her, she practically leaped out of her skin.
“I’m sorry, Patrice. I was just startled.” Veronica looked into Patrice’s eyes and saw her own lie sitting there like a turd in a punchbowl.
“You don’t need to be embarrassed or ashamed or even avoid me, Ronnie. I just wanted to tell you that.”
Veronica felt shame burning her cheeks as the honesty in Patrice’s words cut into her. She was acting like an ass. Patrice straightened and headed toward the alley, but Veronica grabbed her wrist.
“Wait. I ... I’m sorry, Patrice. My behavior has been really shitty, and I’ve treated you badly. I am an adult and responsible for my own decisions and actions. I’ve no one to be blaming but myself. You have every right to be angry with me.”
Patrice gently extricated her wrist. “I’m not angry, just disappointed. I really like you, Ronnie. I can settle for being friends if you are okay with that.”
Tight lines of stress radiated from her eyes and mouth. She was just as upset as Veronica was. She was being a lady about it though, not an idiot.
“Yes, please, since we’re a team for the next week, let’s be friends. I really am sorry for my behavior, Patrice.”
Patrice nodded. “Apology accepted. Now let’s see how we bowl together, okay?”
“Sounds good. Let me get my shoes on, and we can start.”
A huge weight lifted off Veronica’s shoulders. She had been so afraid of how Patrice would act, and yet it ended up being Veronica who acted badly. Now the air was clear between them, yet underneath it all, something lurked. A connection that happens when you’ve been intimate with someone. It can’t be broken or removed, but it could be forgotten.
Veronica would try her damndest to forget it, although something told her it would not be easy. In fact, it might be impossible.
* * * * *
Patrice felt brittle. As if the slightest event would crack her into a million pieces. Seeing Veronica again was hard, but being treated like a leper was painful in the extreme. Patrice accepted the apology and offered friendship. What she really wanted to do was head back to San Antonio with her tail between her legs and weep her way through another heartache.
That was what she wanted to do, but she told herself it wasn’t going to happen. She was a strong woman, a woman with more backbone than that. It was a one-night stand, nothing more, nothing less. There weren’t any feelings to be smashed. It was nothing.
That nothing was her partner for the next five days. God help her get through it.
Chapter Six
After the first afternoon of bowling together, the tension between Veronica and Patrice seemed to lessen. Veronica still felt weird, but not scared or nervous, just ... odd and unsettled. They went for ice cream with Buck and Marlene and laughed and talked again. That indefinable connection between them was still there, as if they’d known each other for a long time.
Veronica didn’t experience that with anyone else but Marlene, Babs, and Orin. That meant something, she just didn’t know what, or she didn’t want to know it. As she sat and watched the bees drone around the trash can, Patrice sat down beside her.
“Do you have plans for tomorrow?”
Veronica’s stomach clenched and something akin to fear raced through her. Why would she be afraid?
“I don’t think so.” Veronica didn’t meet Patrice’s gaze. She kept her eyes forward, but she could feel her next to her on the bench.
“I don’t know the area, and I thought maybe you could be my tour guide.”
Veronica snorted a laugh. “There isn’t much to see, Patrice. There’s nothing in Espejo but what you probably passed on the way into town.”
There was a silence only broken by cars passing by and the murmur of Marlene and Buck behind them.
“Okay, I’m going to be honest,” Patrice sighed. “I thought maybe tomorrow I could paint you.”
Veronica shook her head. “I’m not ready for that, Patrice.” She didn’t want to admit it, but a small part way down inside wanted to pose for her.
“I appreciate your honesty. The offer is still open if you change your mind.”
They rode back to the alley in the backseat of Marlene’s pickup without talking. Veronica could still feel Patrice there, and the sensation was as odd as the last few days. She didn’t want to be aware of her, but she couldn’t seem to stop herself. The next week was going to be the hardest six days of her life.
“Same time tomorrow?” Patrice asked when they climbed out of the truck. “We should practice more.”
“Sure. Sounds good.”
As Veronica headed inside to get her bowling ball from behind the desk, Patrice’s presence continued to walk beside her, even as she was driving away. Like a stubborn little auburn-haired spirit that refused to leave her.
* * * * *
Sunday’s ritual involved visiting Orin. Veronica had done it faithfully, no matter what the weather or how she felt. This Sunday was no exception. Actually, she felt the need to talk to him. She’d been avoiding her mother’s calls, avoiding Patrice, avoiding life. Again.
She drove into Park Ridge Cemetery and parked near the entrance. The walk to Orin’s grave always gave her time to think, both before and after her visit. She walked slowly, remembering everything from the last three days, most particularly the time spent with Patrice.
Veronica didn’t understand it. By the time she reached Orin’s grave, she was still confused. She’d never thought of herself as “gay” or even having any kind of lesbian fantasies. Yet, here she was, still thinking about a one-night stand with a woman that she had never intended to have happen.
Veronica spent a few minutes pulling up the weeds near Orin’s headstone, then set the bouquet of daisies down. He loved daisies, said they reminded him of her. She had a standing flower order with Melissa down at Potpourri Flowers and they were always delivered to her doorstep on Saturdays.
Veronica sat down on the bright green grass and stared at the inscription.
Orin Patrick Avery
Born June 15, 1960, died May 1, 2001
Beloved husband and son
My heart, my soul, my life
Veronica barely remembered ordering the inscription. Somehow she’d put on there her thoughts and feelings instead of a fitting epithet for him. She hadn’t realized how selfish she’d been. Monday she would contact Bernard at the monument place to see if he could change the last line. It should read something like “He brightened the world.”
He was a very upbeat man, always smiling, always tickling her or kissing her neck. Her throat closed up as she remembered how much she missed him, how much she loved him, and how dark the world had been since he left.
Until now. Until she’d met Patrice. Somehow, some way, she’d brought life back into Veronica’s world.
“O-man, I’ve really screwed things up this time. I don’t know what to do about this. I ... I like her a lot but the thing is, I can’t imagine myself having a relationship with a woman.”
She sighed and pulled one of the daisies out. “I treated her like shit, and it’s no one’s fault but my own. My mother won’t stop calling, and down here, way down in my chest, I miss her.”
After she said it aloud, she gasped. “Did I just say
that? How could I miss her? I mean, I barely know her.”
Veronica started pulling the petals off the daisy. “I mean, it’s like when we met. Kaboom! There it was, heart pounding, palms sweaty, butterflies in the stomach. All of it. It was all there.”
As the realization hit her, Veronica started weeping silently. She had found something special, something other people never find once, much less twice. Was she going to be a small-minded ass and let that chance slip away? Or would she find the courage to try something new? Something others would shun her for?
As she pulled the last petal off the daisy, Veronica made a decision. Her head said no, but her heart said yes. And her heart had done enough aching in the past five years for a lifetime. It didn’t matter if people didn’t approve. It didn’t matter if she didn’t know what the hell she was doing. She wanted a few minutes more of happiness. She meant to have it.
It took another two days of soul searching, but Veronica finally realized she didn’t regret what she’d done with Patrice. She regretted what happened afterward, when she froze like a deer in the headlights. Veronica was so incredibly stupid. She had the smallest bit of something special, something rare, and she’d let it go because of her stupid prejudices and her mother’s influence.
The quick fuck in the bar did nothing but reinforce the fact that she had made a huge mistake. Not in having sex with Patrice, but in doubting it.
Veronica had spent the last five years living in the shadow of her marriage, protecting her heart from anyone that dared come near her. She wore her black clothes like a suit of armor. It worked; oh, how it worked. It worked too well. She was so alone that the first time she wasn’t alone, she ran like a scared rabbit back into her hole.
The hole was a lonely, cold place to be. Even the heat from the hot shower couldn’t alleviate the cold. Veronica stood in the shower until the water turned tepid and she started shivering. She toweled off in the steamy bathroom and padded naked to her bedroom.
In the large cheval mirror, she studied her reflection. Not bad for forty-two. Her breasts were still sort of perky, with deep pink nipples that stood proudly in the air-conditioned room. She was round, not too round, but curvy as a woman should be. There was nothing wrong with her physically. All the shit resided in her head and in her heart.
Veronica picked up the pillow Patrice had used. She picked it up and held it to her nose. It still had a faint scent. It smelled flowery, but not like perfume, more like a shampoo. Sweet and enticing, like Patrice.
Veronica sighed and set the pillow down. She was pitiful, just pitiful. Sitting there on the bed sniffing a pillow. Instead of doing nothing but regretting her actions, she needed to do something to correct them.
She went out to the living room and found her cell phone on the table by the door. She flipped it open and found Patrice’s number that she’d stored in there four days ago.
Had it only been four days? Seemed more like four months.
She closed her eyes and pressed Talk on the phone. It rang twice before Patrice’s voicemail answered.
“Hi, this is Patrice. I’m either on the phone or in the studio. Leave me a message, and I’ll get back to you.”
Beep.
Veronica pressed End.
Coward.
She didn’t know what to say, truth be told. What could she say? “I was an idiot, please forgive me?” That was lame and leaving it on her voicemail was even lamer. Patrice deserved respect not bullshit.
Veronica stood there staring at her phone, trying to figure out a way to make it up to Patrice, how to salvage the mess she made of things. Inspiration struck, and she dashed into the bedroom to get dressed and dry her hair and plan what she wanted to do.
* * * * *
It was Wednesday afternoon and almost time for the team competition in the tournament. Veronica pulled her bowling ball out of the trunk of her car and hurried inside. She was late and knew Babs would be on her about it. More than likely, Marlene had been practicing for an hour already.
The last three days, she’d practiced each afternoon with Patrice. Twice they even had lunch together beforehand. Veronica was getting to really know Patrice and knew that her decision had been the right one.
Veronica walked quickly inside the Starlite, surprised by how many people were milling around the lobby. There were literally hundreds of people in their little bowling alley. Most were team members, grouped together in their colorful matching shirts. She didn’t hear any bowling, which meant she was in time for practice.
She waved at Jesse, who stood behind the counter, watching the crowd with dollar signs in his eyes. Jesse waved back with a huge grin. Good for him. He deserved something special, and this tournament was his shooting star.
She knew they were bowling on lanes thirty-two and thirty-three, so she made her way through the crowd, nodding and saying hello to the people she’d met or whom she knew. Marlene was standing in the corner, very close to Buck who nearly blocked the view of her completely. Veronica stopped and looked at Marlene with her eyebrows raised. Marlene finally noticed her and shook her head.
“It’s okay,” she mouthed.
Veronica wasn’t sure it was okay, but figured Marlene, who was twenty-six-years old, knew what she was doing. She made it to their lanes and sat down to pull her shoes on. When the flowery scent teased her nostrils, she closed her eyes and inhaled.
Patrice.
She turned to find the auburn-haired pixie sitting next to her at the table.
“Hi.”
Patrice sighed and set her elbows on the table. “It’s been a long couple of days.”
Veronica wanted to touch her, but knew she’d screwed things up royally before and wanted to make it right without acting like a lovesick ass.
Lovesick?
“For me too. Patrice ... I’m sorry for any hurt I’ve caused you. I’ve acted like an ass.”
“No worries, Ronnie. I told you.”
“Bullshit.”
Oops. Well, she hadn’t meant to let that pop out.
Patrice’s eyebrow rose. “Bullshit?”
“I mean, it’s not ‘no worries.’ I hurt you, and for that I have been kicking my own butt since Sunday. You are the first, well, person in a long time who touched my heart, and I pushed you away as quickly as I could when adversity stood in front of me.”
Patrice’s blue eyes softened slightly. “I’m listening.”
“I --”
“Time to bowl, Veronica. You’re going to have to talk to your friend later.” Marlene appeared next to her, already wearing her wrist brace and her hair back in a ponytail. She looked fierce, like an Amazon warrior about to do battle.
The lanes turned on and the pins dropped into the setters. The sound was like an army getting ready for battle.
Veronica looked at Patrice, then took a chance and reached out to touch her hand. “I want to talk later. Please.”
Patrice nodded. “Okay, we can talk later.”
“Will you stay and watch?”
Please stay and be here for me.
“Sure. That’s why I’m here.”
Veronica couldn’t stop the wide grin from spreading across her face. She leaned down and gave Patrice a light peck on the cheek. The surprise in Patrice’s eyes was immediate. When Veronica stood up, she bumped into the Japanese man who had been flirting with Babs earlier that week. She excused herself and he smiled. Veronica grabbed her ball from her bag and headed down into the alley for practice. The knowledge that Patrice sat there watching her bowl made a warm spot deep inside her, giving her strength, courage, and what she needed most, hope.
* * * * *
Marlene bowled like a tiger, pulling their team to a smashing victory over the other team. They had no idea who actually won the team competition, however, since there were eighty teams bowling. The jubilation over their victory, and watching Babs kiss the Japanese man, Jimmy Tanaka, made the mood even more celebratory.
Veronica pulled off her bowling shoes
and tucked them into the pockets in her bowling bag when she sensed someone standing near her. She glanced up to find Patrice with a beer, leaning against the table.
“Good games. Y’all bowl well together.”
“Thanks. We complement each other, I think. I’m the wussy girlie-girl on the team, but my high handicap can help sometimes.”
Patrice chuckled. “You are not a wuss, maybe a girlie-girl though.”
Veronica’s heart stuttered when Patrice smiled at her. She was such a beautiful woman, and Veronica knew what lay beneath the orange top and white capri pants. She was surprised to see a butterfly tattoo on her ankle. She had the insane urge to kiss it.
“Can we have dinner together? I really do want to talk to you. And I have something for you.”
Patrice nodded. “I want to talk to you, too. Do you know a nice quiet place, no jukeboxes or rednecks?”
Veronica laughed. “I can’t promise no rednecks, but I know a nice quiet place. I can drive.”
“Sure. Are you ready or do you have to do anything else?’
“I’m ready.”
Yes, indeed, Veronica was ready.
Chapter Seven
Patrice took a plastic bag out of her car, then joined Veronica for the ride over to her house in the Chrysler. She left the Toyota at the bowling alley. Veronica was nervous, butterflies-in-her-stomach nervous. She wasn’t scared of the unknown anymore, more like she was scared of Patrice’s reaction. Veronica knew she was taking a chance and hoped that tomorrow she wouldn’t regret it.
There was an awkward silence in the car. Veronica hadn’t felt any kind of awkwardness with Patrice up until that point, and it felt unnatural.
“You and your team bowled well.”
Patrice’s voice was like a shotgun in the quiet car. Veronica squeaked in surprise, which made Patrice laugh.
“I didn’t mean to scare you.”
The Perfect Score 2 Widow's Weeds Page 5