by Elena Aitken
“Would you like me to do a braid for you now?”
Surprising Morgan, Ella spoke again. “Yes,” she said. “Please.”
Morgan smiled to herself. It wasn’t a big thing, but it was something. And for a child who’d been wounded as deeply as Ella, it was huge. Without asking any more questions, Morgan carefully braided her hair and by the time she finished, Ella’s tears had stopped.
~ ~
The walk from the staff residence to the row of guest suites where Bo and Ella were staying was long enough for Morgan to collect her thoughts, but not long enough for her to properly prepare for the evening ahead. She had no idea how she was supposed to make polite conversation with a man who both aggravated her and compelled her at the same time. But maybe it wasn’t too late to cancel. She could go back to the apartment and call his suite. Better yet, she could get Astrid to do it. To say she’d come down with some sort of cold or flu or something. Anything.
But when Morgan thought of little Ella and how disappointed she’d be, all thoughts of canceling were out of the question. The poor child had been through enough heartbreak to last a lifetime, and Morgan wasn’t about to be responsible for causing Ella any more pain. Even if it was just a cancelled dinner.
She stumbled along the rocky path. Heels had been a bad idea. When she tripped for the third time, Morgan almost took them off. Even if she insisted she wasn’t trying to make an effort in her appearance, she had to admit that it did feel good to put a dress on again. Paying more attention to her footing so she didn’t sprain an ankle, Morgan still managed to enjoy her surroundings.
The free-standing condo-style suites that Castle Mountain Lodge had were stunning. The sloping roof lines and cedar boards gave them a rustic chateau feel that blended into the woodsy surroundings perfectly and the imposing front doors looked as if they’d been hand-carved from old-growth trees. There weren’t many windows on the front sides of the suites, which was done purposely to give the residents privacy. All the windows were at the back, where the real view was.
Morgan approached number three, noticing how the number was created from stone and positioned into the siding. She took a deep breath and rapped on the door with the wrought iron door knocker. No turning back.
As soon as the door flew open and Morgan set eyes on Ella, her hair pulled back into a lopsided ponytail, with smudges on her dress, she could no longer remember why she’d wanted to cancel.
“Hi, kiddo. Am I early?”
“No,” Ella said. “But…” she pointed behind her, “he’s having trouble.”
Morgan tried not to laugh. “Trouble with dinner?”
“Yup.”
Morgan stepped into the suite and tried not to be too impressed with her surroundings. Just as she’d thought, there was a wall of windows along the back that offered the most breathtaking view of the mountains she’d ever seen. Somehow they looked even more impressive through the windows than they did when she was standing outside. “Maybe we should go see?”
Ella took her hand and together they went down the small hallway and into the great room with the small kitchen off to one side. Bo, unaware of her arrival, had his back turned to them and was frantically stirring something in a pot that smelled vaguely like spaghetti sauce, but she couldn’t be sure.
“Ella, you should probably go get changed. She’ll be here soon.” Bo spoke in their general direction.
Morgan opened her mouth to speak, but Ella’s giggle gave them away before she could.
Bo spun around, spoon in hand and tomato sauce splattered across the kitchen. “Damn,” he muttered.
Morgan raised her eyebrows and gestured with her head towards Ella who didn’t seem affected by her father’s language choices. “Hi, Bo,” she said.
“Hi.” He grabbed a cloth and started wiping up the spills. “You don’t have to look so amused.”
Morgan didn’t even try to hide her smile. “Do you need some help?”
“I have everything under control,” he said, returning to the pot, which was now bubbling over. “Dammit.”
“Language,” Morgan said as sweetly as she could.
“Sorry,” he mumbled.
Ella giggled again and Morgan shook her head. “Maybe I’ll take Ella and get her cleaned up.”
Bo turned around, this time without the spoon, and said, “Thank you. I’m sure I’ll have everything finished up by the time you’re done.”
“There’s no rush,” she said. “Really, I hope you didn’t go to any trouble.”
Bo shrugged his shoulders. “It’s all trouble when it comes to cooking. But I’m learning. Slowly.” He smiled then, and Morgan could feel some of the tension leave the room.
She returned his smile and had the undeniable urge to reach across the eating bar that separated them to wipe a drop of sauce off his cheek. Thankfully, before she could make a fool of herself, Ella tugged on her hand.
“Okay,” Morgan said slowly, trying to regain control of her senses. “We’ll be back in a few minutes then.”
Chapter Nine
“Do you talk about her mother?” Morgan asked.
The question was so unexpected that Bo almost spat out his coffee. They’d finished dinner, which had been pleasant enough and actually much more palatable than Bo had expected. While they ate, Bo actually found himself relaxing around Morgan and he’d enjoyed watching Ella light up when Morgan spoke about some of the activities she’d planned for the Cub’s Club. It still surprised him every time Ella spoke—she did so little of it with him. But the sound of her voice was enchanting, and he’d be happy to hear it all day.
Bo swallowed his coffee and glanced to where Ella was watching television. “No,” he said answering her question, “I wouldn’t know what to say.”
“You could talk about the things she liked, what she did for fun, and maybe even what she looked like,” Morgan said. “It’s good for Ella to keep her memories fresh and she needs to know that it’s okay to talk about her, and of course to cry if she needs to.”
They’d been getting along so well, it even seemed to Bo that Morgan might actually like him, or at the very least, not find him completely irritating. But Bo had a sinking feeling that she was going to change her opinion of him once again when she heard the truth about his relationship with Tessa. He took a deep breath. There was no point hiding it. He needed this woman’s help. “I can’t talk about her mother,” he said.
Morgan raised an eyebrow in question, but waited for him to continue.
“I can’t talk to her about Tessa, because I didn’t really know her.”
“But she’s your daughter’s mother. How could…oh,” Morgan said as realization dawned.
He was sure she’d make a smart comment about his reputation or about how he should be ashamed of himself. He looked down at his mug and waited.
“That’s sad,” Morgan said. Her voice was quiet and her comment so unexpected that Bo jerked his head up. “For Ella, I mean. It must be incredibly hard to lose your mother and then not be able to talk about her.”
Bo’s stomach dropped and for a second he thought he might be sick. He’d been so concerned about how Ella’s presence was going to fit into his life that he’d barely given any thought to what she must be going through.
“I can’t believe it,” he choked out the words. “I haven’t even thought about it.” He ran a hand through his hair and looked over at his daughter again. He still hadn’t gotten used to the idea that she was his daughter, but that was the reality of it and no matter what the long-term plan was going to be, that would never change.
“It’s okay, Bo,” Morgan said. “You’re new to this, too.” She reached out and put her hand on his. The warmth of her touch permeated him and he looked up into her eyes. “It’s going to be okay,” she said. “I can help.”
He stared at her for a few moments. Her blue eyes drew him in. He was a drowning man, and whether he deserved it or not, she was extending him a life raft. “Thank you,” he said. “I’d really apprecia
te it.”
Morgan smiled and withdrew her hand. Instantly, he wanted it back.
“The first thing you have to do is take care of her clothing situation.” She looked him straight in the eye and for some reason, he felt chastised. “The poor thing doesn’t have the appropriate clothing, and she really doesn’t have much of it at all. Are her things being sent?”
Bo glanced around the room before answering. “As far as I know, that’s everything she has,” he said, and as he spoke he realized how little he really did know. “That’s all she had when, well, when I got her.”
“No toys? Nothing?” Morgan’s brows were furrowed as she questioned him. As if she were making mental notes.
“Nothing,” Bo affirmed. “And I’ll be honest, I don’t know the first thing about what she might need. I realize she doesn’t have everything, but I don’t really know how long—“ He’d been about to tell her that he still wasn’t sure that having Ella live with him was the best solution, and that he’d been in touch with Social Services again, but something stopped him. “I don’t know how long the weather will be cool,” he finished lamely.
She tipped her head, looking at him quizzically. “Well, maybe I can help you make a list of things she might need. Can you have them shipped to the Lodge?”
He nodded. Regardless of how long Ella stayed with him, or if she stayed with him, she would still need some new clothes. It was the least he could do.
“More coffee?” he asked in an effort to distract his thoughts. She nodded and Bo stood up.
Ever since he’d made the call to Clara Kersey, he’d tried not to think about what he’d done. Clara had said that she’d try to get ahold of Tessa’s brother on the East Coast again. Maybe he was in a better situation to take care of her. He’d tried to assure himself that she’d be fine with a family member. And maybe her uncle did have a more stable home. There had to be a better situation for her than living with him. Bo shook his head clear of the thoughts that continued to plague him. The truth was, he couldn’t be sure that he’d made the right choice by calling but every time he thought about it, he was sick to his stomach. He grabbed the coffeepot and returned to the table.
“There’s one more thing,” he said as he poured her a fresh cup.
“What’s that?”
He watched as she poured cream on to her spoon before tipping it into her mug. “How do you get her to talk to you? She barely says anything to me.”
Morgan swirled her spoon in her coffee and put it in her mouth for a moment before resting it on a napkin. Bo had to look away.
“It’s complicated,” she said. “When it comes to children who’ve experienced a trauma the way Ella has, it’s very common for them to retreat within themselves as a coping mechanism. It can take a while for kids to process what’s happened to them, and to accept that their lives have changed. Especially with a child like Ella who has been thrown into a completely different situation with a stranger.” She hesitated over the word, but Bo nodded his head in agreement. He was a stranger to Ella.
“So what can I do?” he asked.
He followed her gaze as she turned to look at Ella, now curled up in a ball, watching a cartoon. He should probably get her to bed, but he hadn’t been keeping to any kind of bedtime schedule and it probably wouldn’t hurt if she fell asleep on the sofa.
“You’re lucky,” Morgan said, when she turned back to him. “Ella’s a smart and sensitive kid. I think she really wants to form a relationship with you.”
He shrugged but secretly the idea both thrilled him and scared him. He wouldn’t be able to have any kind of relationship with her if she left. “I don’t know about that,” he said. “But she really seems to have bonded with you.”
“It’s probably because I’m a mother figure for her. I’m assuming that I’m roughly the same age that Tessa was?”
Bo nodded.
“And I’m in a position of authority, and I take care of her. It’s not unusual that she’s bonding to me.” Morgan lifted the mug to her lips and took a tentative sip.
“Still,” Bo said. “It’s a good thing. Ella needs that right now.”
“She needs you, too, Bo.”
“I don’t—“
“She does.” Morgan set her mug down again. “You want to know how to get her to open up? Talk to her. Ask her questions. And not ones that she can answer with a nod of the head. Spend time with her—she needs you. And more than that, she wants to be with you.”
Bo looked down. Morgan would have no idea how her words had just knifed into him. The thought that Ella needed him in any serious way unsettled him. To be in charge of another life was a huge responsibility. Particularly when you were as ill-prepared as he was.
“Okay,” he said after a moment. “I’ll try.” He looked up into her eyes. They were soft and kind, and for the first time, Bo felt as if he really did have some support with his crazy situation. There were still so many unanswered questions and still so much he wasn’t sure of, but for the first time Bo felt as if he might have a shot at raising Ella and maybe, just maybe, with a little help, he’d be able to tell Clara Kersey he had everything under control.
~ ~
They sipped their coffee for a few moments, enjoying the quiet companionship. Morgan broke the silence. “So,” she said, looking up from her mug. “Maybe if I help you out with Ella, you could help me out with something?”
Bo’s mind immediately flashed to all kinds of things he could help her out with, none of which was appropriate to discuss at the table. He tried to push those thoughts from his head and focus on what she was saying. “Of course. But what could you possibly need help with?”
She smiled, and there was a flicker of shyness peeking through her normally confident demeanor. “You’re going to laugh,” she said.
“I promise I won’t.” Bo reclined in his chair, enjoying seeing her so relaxed.
“I was hoping to take the Cub’s Club out for a nature hike. The weather’s beautiful and I hate to keep them cooped up indoors all the time.”
“That doesn’t sound like a problem.”
“Well,” Morgan hesitated. She grabbed a strand of hair and twisted it around one finger. “The thing is…I’m used to taking kids out to a park where there are fences, and the worst thing I have to worry about is a few scraped knees.”
“And you’re an expert with those,” Bo interjected.
“Thank you.” Morgan blushed. “But I’m kind of a city girl and I don’t know the first thing about the outdoors. Truthfully, the thought of taking children anywhere near the forest terrifies me. So I really need your help.”
Bo tried not to laugh. She looked so cute when she was flustered and he got the impression that Morgan didn’t ask for help very often. “I’d love to show you some trails that are good for kids.”
“Oh…”
“What?” He eyed her, waiting for the rest of the favor.
“I was kind of hoping you could come along.” She twisted her hair around another finger. “Kind of like a miniature guided hike. You could point out some of the plant life and maybe any other things…”
“Like wildlife?”
Morgan blanched.
He couldn’t help it, Bo laughed. “Don’t worry. If we’re lucky, we might see some squirrels and maybe a deer or a rabbit.”
“But no…you know?”
“Bears? Cougars?”
Morgan’s face turned an even paler shade of white, if it were possible.
“No,” Bo said quickly, trying to end her panic. “It’s not likely that we’d run into any major wildlife if we stick close to the Lodge and make lots of noise. Which probably won’t be a problem with a group of children.” He smiled, trying to get her to relax. “But the big animals are definitely out there. And not really all that far away, so it’s important to use common sense.”
“But we’d be safe?” Morgan asked. “I can’t take a group of children out into the woods if there’s a real danger.”
&nb
sp; “We’d be safe,” he assured her. “You really haven’t been into the woods before?”
She pressed her mouth into a firm line and shot him a look. “There’s nothing wrong with that.”
Bo suppressed his grin. “No,” he said. “Nothing. But you don’t know what you’re missing. And I can’t wait to show you how amazing the outdoors can be. So much better than the city.”
As Morgan relaxed into her chair and picked up her coffee mug again, Bo realized that he, in fact, couldn’t wait to show her the outdoors. Anything, if it meant spending more time with her.
Chapter Ten
For the second time that afternoon, Morgan checked her list. She had only five kids in the Cub’s Club today, and one extra staff member to help. The season was still gearing up, so it was a good time to try out the trail hike.
“Don’t forget to stock up the first aid kit, Lisa,” Morgan called to her staff. “We don’t want to run out of bandages.”
Lisa smiled at her, but Morgan didn’t miss the eye roll as the other girl looked away. So what if Morgan was being extra careful? She’d done a lot of things with children before. Taken them on field trips to the zoo, painted clay pottery, and even gone to a swimming pool. But she’d never ventured out into the wild with them. If she were being a little paranoid, well, that was better than not being prepared.
Ever since Bo agreed to help her with a hike, Morgan had spent her evenings thinking of creative and fun ideas that they could incorporate into the day. She’d also spent a great deal of time thinking of all the potential things that could go wrong. She’d tried not to listen to the other residents of staff housing when they were telling stories of their own run-ins with the wildlife around the Lodge, and she’d done her best to ignore Astrid, who thought it was hilarious that she’d never been on a hike before.
Everyone else seemed to think it was funny that she was like a fish out of water when it came to anything remotely outdoorsy, but she was trying. And even if she hadn’t wanted to be in charge of children, Morgan had enough pride to do the best job that she could. Even if it meant venturing way out of her comfort zone.