Shock froze her with her mouth dropped open. June never raised her voice. Ever. Not even when Sonya deserved it.
“I let them.” Her eyes narrowed with anger. “I always let them.”
Sonya didn’t like seeing her mother’s anger directed at herself. “Mama, it’s not your fault. You were scared. They hurt you.”
June hugged herself harder. “Don’t you get it? I’m always afraid. I’m always hiding.”
Sonya closed the distance and rubbed her hands up and down her mother’s arms. “It’s okay, Mama. I’ll make sure they never come back. Security won’t let them in. When you go out, one of the guys will go with you.”
“So I’m to be a prisoner again.”
Sonya tilted her head, surprised by her mother’s statement. “You can leave here whenever you want. Say the word, I’ll move you out of here immediately.”
“It’s not about this place. Though I know you disapprove and hate it here.”
Sonya chose her words carefully because the last thing she wanted to do was shame her mom. She’d done that as a child and had grown to learn it only broke her mother’s heart to think her only daughter thought so little of her. Sonya loved June with everything inside her. Her mom had sacrificed and always put Sonya first. Maybe there’d been times they’d gone without, but Sonya had always been loved.
“They kept me prisoner as a child. Now they keep me prisoner here. I’ll only be free of them when I’m dead.” June’s gaze darted around the room like she was looking for a way to make that happen.
Scared and unsure about June’s state of mind, Sonya tried to see just how far her mother was willing to go to be rid, once and for all, of her uncles. “That’s not true. You know what you need to do if you want to keep them away for good.”
June shook her head. “Everyone will know.” Her voice shook and her lips trembled. Fresh tears poured from her eyes.
Sonya gentled her tone, because shouting at June only made her feel worse. “If you truly want to be free, stop hiding, stop lying, stop worrying about what people will think. The truth is on your side. You did nothing wrong. Others will have compassion for what they put you through.”
Her mother reached out and brushed her hand over Sonya’s head and pushed a lock behind her ear before cupping her face. “I never wanted what they did to touch you. If I tell, people will know how I got you.”
Sonya had always assumed her mother was too embarrassed and ashamed to come forward. She’d never imagined she stayed quiet to protect Sonya.
She held her mother’s shoulders. “Above all else, I want you to be happy and free of them no matter the cost. I don’t care what anyone else thinks about me, you, or what happened. I love you. You have always loved me one thousand percent. As long as I have you and my sisters, that’s enough, Mama. Please. Don’t let them get away with this again. Once was too many. It’s grown to too many times to count. Maybe they stay away longer this time. Maybe they never come back. But do you want to spend every day wondering when? I don’t want that for you, Mama.”
June kissed her on the forehead and hugged her close. “I’ll think about it, Angel. I’m upset. I need some time.”
“The longer you wait the harder it will be.” The more likely the chance her great-uncles would return because they believed they’d get away with it.
They always got away with it.
And that bitter thought spawned a million ways she’d like to hurt and kill them.
June let her go and went back to her seat by the window. “Come. Sit. Tell me about this project you’re doing with Roxy.” Her mother rolled her eyes. “You know, Roxy’s mom is impossible now that Roxy owns this place. Candy thinks she can do whatever the hell she wants.”
Sonya didn’t have to imagine how impossible Candy had become. June and Candy had little in common. Yes, they both worked at the Wild Rose Ranch, but Candy loved it in a way June didn’t. Candy was up for a party and a good time. June wanted to pretend someone loved her, even if it was for an hour or two.
June had created her own fantasy world here. She played it out day after day, happy to immerse herself in the illusion because then she didn’t have to deal with the pain in real life. She could live the lie so she didn’t have to face the truth.
“You know Roxy and Noah run the ranch in Montana together. Well, Noah’s best friend, Austin, inherited this huge piece of property from his grandfather. His father wanted the land, but Austin refused to sell it to him.”
“Why does his father care, so long as it stays in the family?”
“Exactly, but Austin’s father seems to believe it should have gone to him. When Austin refused to sell, his father fired him from their family ranching and mining businesses and kicked him out. Austin spent every last dime he had to pay off his grandfather’s debts and the taxes on the land so he could keep it. He’s been sleeping on the porch and in the stables when it’s too cold because his grandfather had turned into a hoarder and the house was too overcrowded and disgusting to live in. Land rich and cash poor, Austin fell on hard times and started drinking.”
June frowned, even as she listened intently. “Not a good way to solve a problem.”
“He was too proud to accept help from his friends.” She eyed her mother for having that in common with Austin. “Roxy wanted to do something good with the money she inherited, so she went to Austin with a proposition. He dreams of turning his grandfather’s old place back into a prosperous ranch.”
June’s eyes brightened with the idea of dreams coming true. June wished for her own monster-free fairy-tale life. “So she gave him the money.”
“They created a partnership. Roxy fronts him the money, Austin runs the business, and they split the profits.”
June’s eyes filled with admiration. “She’s such a good girl.”
“Roxy hired me to oversee the partnership. I’ll do the books for the business once it’s up and running. Right now, I’m helping Austin renovate the house and stables so he can live and work there.”
Her mother clasped her hands at her chest. “Wonderful. You’ll help him get back on his feet.”
She’d planned the project and lent him a hand and sympathetic ear, but . . . “He’s doing that all on his own. I’m just there to oversee the contractors and painters and make sure the plans Roxy and I came up with are done right.”
“Well, I have no doubt you’ll have that place in order in no time.”
“Thanks, Mama. He really loves it there. He has so many happy memories of being with his mother and grandparents. I can’t believe his father turned his back on him. He’s mean and vindictive for no reason. It’s not like he needs the land. He’s got a thriving business of his own.”
“For some people, there is never enough. They always want more.”
The pieces of her mother’s soul, the money her great-uncles stole, no, it was never enough. Her great-uncles were always coming back for more.
“I want you to want more for yourself, Mama.”
“I have you, Angel. You’re all I need.” And that right there showed how sweet, kind, and loving her mother remained even after all the trauma and heartache she’d suffered.
Her mother leaned forward, elbow on her knee, chin cupped in her hand, eyes locked on Sonya. “Now tell me about you and Austin.”
The blush heated her cheeks instantly. She’d never been able to hide anything from her mom. “You’d like him. He’s really nice. Truthfully, after Roxy told me about the drinking, I didn’t expect much. But from day one, he stepped up and has worked harder than any of the people I hired to help. I can feel how much he wants the ranch to be a success, but more than that he needs it. No one will ever take something from him again. He won’t let it happen because he knows what it’s like to have nothing and he’s not going back.”
“He sounds tough.”
“With a big heart. He blames himself for not helping his grandfather when he spiraled and the house became too much for him to fix. Austin lost his
mother several years ago. He found a letter from her. The grief and love I saw in his eyes . . .” Even now, her heart ached for him.
“Are you sleeping with him?” Sex had always been an open subject, especially after they moved here to the Ranch. Her mother simply thought making sex a secret or something that should be whispered about only gave power to those who used sex as a tool or weapon.
“No.” Sonya held back some of what she felt from Roxy, but with her mother, she opened up because June didn’t judge others since she knew how much it hurt to be judged. “But it’s been hard to keep my hands to myself. Sometimes, I just want to hug him. Most of the time, I want to rip his clothes off and lick him.”
Her mother gave her a knowing smile even as she wrapped her arms around her middle and sat back.
“I know it’s not a good idea. We have to work together. But the pull I feel is different than what I’ve felt for other men.”
“You learned what you didn’t want from them. He shows you something different.”
Sonya nodded. “I want something different for you, Mama. Would you consider talking to someone? A psychologist or counselor. Maybe if you talked about what happened, you could heal and decide what you want to do.”
“I wish you had a family like the ones you see on TV.” June grew up dirt-poor. No TV. She only knew the world inside the walls of her home and the boundaries of her small town. She thought all little girls grew up the way she did, until she left and TV showed her what a family could be like.
Sonya laid her hand on June’s knee, careful not to touch any of the angry bruises. “I need you to be safe and happy and loved.”
June found a smile for her. “You love me.”
Sonya wanted her to have more. “Do you ever think about getting married and growing old with someone?”
“I dream about it all the time.” Her gaze drifted out the window to the garden she loved, then snapped back to Sonya’s when she slid her hands over her thighs and winced. “But reality is a harsh reminder that some dreams aren’t meant to come true.”
“It could happen. If you didn’t work here . . .”
June shook her head and turned to stare out the window, unwilling to listen to a bunch of if-onlys she’d been cruelly taught were not for her.
Sonya laid her hand on her mom’s arm. “I believe you can do and have anything you want, Mama. You deserve to be happy.”
June didn’t turn from the window, but smiled softly and whispered, “Seeing you grow up happy and loved and living your life the way you want to makes me happy. I didn’t want you to have a life like mine.”
“You don’t have to live this life anymore, Mama. I know you’re brave and strong. You don’t have to do it alone. I’ll help you.”
June placed her hand over Sonya’s. “I’ll think about it.” She settled back into the chair and watched the world outside. “I’m tired.”
Sonya wondered if her mother meant far more than physically.
Had her great-uncles finally broken her mother?
Sonya hoped not. She wanted her mom to use the strength that had gotten her away from them and saved Sonya from a life of poverty and abuse and finally stand up for herself.
She wanted her mom to want more for herself, to believe that any dream she imagined could be a reality if only she reached for it. Her mother had instilled that in her, even if she didn’t believe it herself.
Sonya wished for a way to show her mom she could have it, too.
Chapter Twelve
Austin and one of the crew shouldered a heavy beam into place above the new case opening between the kitchen and living room. He loved how it opened up the space, but his back protested the heavy lifting. Four construction guys lifted the other end into place, secured it, then came to brace and secure his side. Sonya’s great ideas were taking a toll on his body. And when she got back, he hoped she’d help ease some of his throbbing pains.
He missed her.
The ache in his chest flared. Nothing but Sonya coming home would erase it.
He couldn’t look anywhere in the house and not see her. Though he hadn’t moved any furniture back into the house, the empty kitchen now had a brand-new hardwood floor that matched the rest of the house. A wall of cabinets hung on each side of the window. She was right, the lighter color made the room feel brighter and bigger.
The tile guy put up the backsplash with the green accent tiles Austin requested. And even that made him think of her and how she’d chosen every little thing but had no problem incorporating what he wanted. She made it easy because she’d made some excellent choices and coordinated everything. If he’d done it, he’d have gone with the most basic choice and not thought to tie the tile to the countertops to the cabinets. It probably would have looked bland as hell.
She’d picked out a soft, light beige that wasn’t really yellow or tan but somewhere in between for the rest of the house. Neutral, she called it. He had to admit he liked it better than sterile white walls. The dark floors and warm walls gave the place a cozy feel and they hadn’t even brought in any furniture yet.
Noah walked in the front door and stood in the entry. “I can’t get over the transformation.”
“It takes some getting used to, but it’s going to be amazing when it’s done.” Austin stepped down the ladder and joined Noah in the living room. They stood back and watched the dozen men working on different aspects of the house in choreographed chaos. Everyone had a job and worked around the other men.
Noah tapped him on the shoulder. “The kitchen. The island and bigger opening . . . Man, that’s nice.”
“Sonya added that once we cleaned out the house. It changed the feel of the place.”
“How are the bathrooms coming?”
“We gutted them yesterday. Showers and drywall are in. Tilers are finishing the floors. They should be done tomorrow.”
Noah gestured behind them with his thumb. “Way better than the portable restroom outside.”
“Tell me about it. But I’ve been roughing it a long time.” Austin sighed and took a moment to really appreciate how his life would change in the next few days. “I can’t tell you how excited I am to finally sleep in a real bed.” He stretched from side to side, easing the persistent ache in his back.
Noah cocked up one eyebrow. “Will you be alone in that bed?”
Austin walked out the front door to the porch and pulled out two sodas from the cooler. He handed one to Noah, cracked his open, and took a long swallow.
Austin eyed his best friend, knowing where this was going, but asking anyway. “Something you want to say?”
Noah eyed him. “She’s Roxy’s sister. You work together.”
“You didn’t seem to have a problem making things personal between you and Roxy when she came to work with you at the ranch.”
“That’s different.”
Why did people say that to justify them doing essentially the same thing?
Austin spoke the truth. “Why? Seems to me, it was more complicated than Sonya and me because of what was at stake if you two didn’t make it. She’d have lost her share in the ranch and your sister Annabelle would lose a guardian. You both thought it was worth the risk to see what happened. Sonya and I want a chance to do that. Sonya and I don’t work out, she goes back to Vegas and never has to see me again.”
“Why her? Why now? You’re starting from scratch. Is it a good time to start seeing someone?”
“Is that your way of saying I’m dead broke and have nothing to offer her?”
Noah huffed out a frustrated breath. “I didn’t say that.”
“Not in so many words. You’re right, though. I have nothing but myself to offer her. Is that enough? Probably not. She deserves a hell of a lot more. But I like her. She’s different. Direct, honest, insightful, smart as hell. And tough. She pulled a shotgun on my father.” He tapped his fingers to his chest. “I can’t tell you how damn sexy that was and how it hit me deep. Just like Roxy did at the ranchers’ dinner, So
nya sized him up, didn’t back down from his threats, and stood up for me and this place. Like me, she sees the potential here and in me. She sees the man I want to be.”
“It’s not potential, it’s who you are, Austin. Up until your father fired you, you were a damn fine rancher and businessman. That’s what Roxy invested in. Not this place. She believes in you, and so do I.”
His chest tightened with those heartfelt words. He appreciated his friend more each day, because in the past he’d taken Noah for granted. They’d been buddies forever. That’s just how it was and how it would always be. And having lost everything, he came to realize what was really important in his life. Noah topped that short list.
Austin conceded. “And because I owe Roxy everything for what she’s done, I know what’s at stake with Sonya.”
“You like her that much.”
He didn’t really know how to explain it. “When you met Roxy, did it just hit you?”
Noah reluctantly nodded. “I knew there was something there.”
“When Sonya dumped that pitcher of water on me, she woke me up in more ways than one. The second I saw her, something sparked inside me. I thought it was just attraction, a good healthy dose of lust, something I’d felt with other women all the time. But it’s quickly turned into something different. I can’t explain it. And I sure as hell don’t want to screw it up. I don’t know . . . I don’t want to hurt her. I want to take that sadness she hides so well I see deep in her eyes and make it disappear.”
Noah held out his soda can. “Good luck, man.”
Austin tapped his can to Noah’s. “Thanks. Lord knows, I need it.” Austin drank with Noah. “Did Roxy send you here to warn me away from Sonya?”
“No. From what I gathered, Sonya told Roxy to back off.”
“Well, that’s something.” And eased his mind, because the last thing he wanted was for Sonya to take a step back before this thing ever really got started. “When are they coming home?”
Restless Rancher Page 11