by Amy DuBoff
“You’ve also never tried.”
She released a heavy sigh. “I guess it’s time I embrace this change and start having it work for me, rather than the other way around.”
“Now, that’s the kind of attitude that I’d expect to get results.”
“You’re pretty good at these pep-talks.”
“If only the ones I gave myself worked half as well.”
Ava was about to reply, when the comm chirped with an incoming communication. She sat up to check the screen set into the wall next to the door; it was from Colonel Kurtz.
She held up her finger for Luke to hold this thought, then accepted the voice call. “Colonel.”
“Ava, we have clearance to use the Arti-Sun weapon on the Hellfire against the Dyon ship. But before we resort to those extremes, I’d like to make one final attempt at contact. Meet me at Berth 17 for immediate departure.”
“Yes, sir. I’m on my way.” She cast a wide-eyed look of surprise at Luke.
“See you soon.” Kurtz ended the call.
“The Hellfire? Holy shit.” Ava whistled.
“Fancy?” Luke asked.
“Very fancy. One of the new super-fuck-up-the-bad-guys ships, if the rumor mill is correct.”
Luke smiled. “Sounds like your kind of starship.”
She grinned back. “Doesn’t it? Man, my team is going to be so envious they don’t get to see the action firsthand.”
“I’ll be sure to document the events for their review,” Ruby said over the room comm.
“Not the same, but it will have to do.” Ava caught herself. “Shit! I need to pack.” She jumped off the bed, running to the dresser along the back wall to retrieve some undergarments for the trip.
Luke sat up and swung his legs over the side of the bed. “I know I don’t need to say it, but—”
“I’ll be careful.” She gave him a quick kiss. “Should only be observation, and maybe a telepathic, ‘You guys suck’.”
“I hope it is that straightforward. It’d be nice to put these guys squarely in the past.”
“Agreed.” Ava grabbed a spare shipsuit and shoved it in her travel bag.
>>Toothbrush,<< Ruby reminded her.
Right, thanks. Ava dashed into the bathroom to retrieve her toiletry bag.
Once it was stowed, she did a quick mental inventory. “Okay, that should be everything.”
>>Check,<< Ruby confirmed.
“I’ll see you in a couple of days,” she said to Luke, giving him a parting kiss, slow and deep. “Stay out of trouble.”
“That’s my line!” He smirked.
They exited her quarters. After another quick kiss, she jogged toward the designated berth for the transport ship.
Kurtz was already on board and running through the pre-flight checks when she arrived at the vessel. She almost laughed out loud when she saw it was the Lisbeth II—the same vessel Kurtz had commandeered while under Nox’s influence a month prior.
“Hello, sir,” she greeted. “Didn’t think I’d find myself on this craft again.”
“Welcome aboard,” Kurtz replied. “When I saw it was available, I couldn’t resist. I feel like I owe the ship an apology, after what happened last time.”
“I understand the sentiment.” Ava stowed her travel bag in a cubby at the back of the cockpit.
“Besides, we won’t need it for long. Just a quick hop to Onyx Station, and then we’ll board the Hellfire.”
She took a seat in the co-pilot’s chair. “Thank you for inviting me along. I’ve been wanting to see one of those new dreadnoughts up close.”
Kurtz flashed a rare smile. “Me too, for what it’s worth. But this mission is out of necessity, not sightseeing.”
“Of course, sir.”
Kurtz finished the pre-flight checks and then undocked the vessel from its umbilical—properly, unlike Ava’s daring flight through the vacuum in her emergency suit. She had to say, this journey was off to a much better start.
The ship glided through the black on the way to the Annex Gate at Frontier Station 7. Minutes dragged on in silence.
Am I supposed to make small-talk? Ava asked Ruby.
>>That’s up to you. It’s not like there’s a particular FDG policy written for this exact situation.<<
This is so fucking awkward. The last time we were on this ship together, I had him shackled to the floor and he was snarling at me.
Ruby laughed.
Not helpful, Ava groaned in her mind.
>>Sorry. Picturing him snarling on the floor conjured an amusing image.<<
He was having a pretty bad day.
>>Certainly sounds like it.<<
But, seriously, do I just sit here in silence? How long is the voyage to Onyx Station? Ava asked the AI.
>>One hour and three minutes remain until the estimated arrival time.<<
Ava sighed inwardly. Yeah, that’s way too long to sit here without saying anything. I think? Gah, I don’t know.
>>If you want to talk, then talk.<<
But he’s the colonel.
>>You’re acting like you’ve never had to make friendly conversation with a superior officer before.<<
Not one I once shackled to the floor! Or whose mind I dug around in.
>>Admittedly, the dynamic is not ideal,<< Ruby concurred. >>Just talk to him, Ava. You’re overthinking it.<<
Ugh, fine.
She took a deep breath. “So, sir, how have you been since we removed Nox from your head?”
>>Smooth, Ava. Way to ease into it with a light topic.<<
Kurtz looked taken aback for a moment, then smiled slightly. “You know, it’s refreshing for someone to just come out and ask. Most try to dance around it.”
“Sorry, I—”
“Don’t apologize, it’s a fair question. I’ve been happy to be myself again, but I’ve had a lot of reflecting to do on what occurred while I was under Nox’s influence. You, of all people, understand what it means to be directed by a mind that’s not your own.”
She looked down. “I do often think about what it’s like afterward, for people I’ve controlled. Most aren’t a true enemy, just someone working for the wrong side.”
He nodded. “That’s a burden we carry as FDG warriors. We fight for justice and try to determine the moral right, but there are still multiple sides to any conflict. You have the makings of a true officer, with your disposition to see that our truth is not absolute. What we perceive to be the correct path might be someone else’s worst nightmare.”
“It’s amazing to think about how perspective can change so much. When I was younger and getting ready to leave Coraxa, it seemed so clear.”
“Youth has a way of making things more black and white. By the time you get to my age, it’s all shades of gray.” He chuckled. “In fact, I think that’s the real test of maturity, regardless of chronological age. When you can place yourself in the position of another person, with views opposite your own, and understand their feelings and motivations—only then are you truly ready to lead people on your own side.”
“I guess I got a leg up with that, being able to actually be in someone else’s mind,” Ava realized.
“You did, but you’ve also paid attention and learned from the experience. I knew another telepath once, years ago. Not as powerful as you, but he could glean the thoughts of others in a general sense, and also sense emotions in a way that made him excellent at detecting lies. He must have interrogated more than a hundred people by the time I met him. I once asked him if he’d noticed any trends in those interviews, and the only thing he had to say was, ‘When you have a person cornered, they’re only in it for themselves.’ I thought that was one of the saddest things I’d ever heard—that that’s all he took away.”
Ava leaned back in her seat. “Wow, that is bleak. And I have to say, I disagree with his assessment.”
“What’s your experience been?”
“Venturing inside someone’s mind is intimate. Sometimes I see the things t
hat they don’t want to readily admit to themselves. In some cases, the person never wanted to be in the position they’re in—whether it be because of crappy job prospects, a familial obligation, or even forced servitude. Those people bend easily when I request information from them. They were never invested in keeping the secret, so they give it up without much of a fight. That doesn’t mean they’re in it for themselves.”
“Lack of conviction should be an excuse to abandon duty?” Kurtz questioned.
“No, sir, I didn’t mean to suggest—”
“This isn’t about us or the FDG,” he hastily added. “It’s only a thought exercise, one officer to another.”
Ava tapped her index finger on the seat’s armrest. “Well, to that, I guess I’d argue that you can’t have complete loyalty without belief.”
The colonel nodded. “The difference between having a job versus a career.”
“Yeah, exactly. Unlike the people who’ll cave at the first sign of pressure, there are also true believers,” she continued. “Anyone of true conviction will stand by their mission and the greater purpose. Those are the people where I really have to dig, and they’ll fight me every step of the way. When someone is convinced that their mission is the only right way, they will do everything within their power to see it through.”
“Those are the kind of people we try to cultivate in the FDG.”
“And it shows,” Ava agreed. “I’ve never questioned that anyone here has doubts about the work we’re doing.”
“Except those moments when one wonders if the career is what they were meant to do.”
The statement caught Ava off-guard. “Sir?”
Kurtz smiled. “I’ve been there, too, Ava. That decade mark is a funny thing—makes you wonder how many different directions your life could have gone, had you made other choices.”
“I want to be here, sir.”
“I know you do. But I also recognize that look you got in your eyes when you learned that your home system was in danger. As loyal as you are to the FDG and as much as you have made it your life, you can never sever your allegiance to your home—not completely.”
“These recent missions have affected me in a way I didn’t expect,” she admitted.
“Not to mention a new companion, offering even greater reminders of those times past,” Kurtz added.
Ava’s brows drew together. “I would never allow my relationship with Luke to compromise my performance as an officer.”
“I didn’t mean to imply that it would. In fact, I think it’s those kinds of personal ties that make a person work even harder. It’s people that have no love, no home, nothing bigger than themselves, that concern me. When someone is really only in it for themselves—that’s cause for worry.”
“So, that telepath you knew, was he only interrogating those kinds of people?” Ava asked.
“Hell, maybe he was. But I still think it’s sad that he generalized those impressions and applied them to everyone.”
“I agree, but…” Ava faded out, second-guessing her thought.
Kurtz raised a questioning eyebrow.
“Well,” she continued, “I was going to say that telepathic reading isn’t an exact science. It’s actually quite subjective. As much as I try to get a clear, accurate impression, I can’t help getting some overlay of my own emotions.”
“Makes sense.”
“So, with a person like your old friend, I can’t help but wonder if it was him who was dissatisfied with his work—that his bleak view of other’s people’s motivations stemmed from having no passion or conviction in his own life.”
“An astute observation,” Kurtz replied. “A month after we met, he up and left one day, no explanation. None of us ever heard from him again.”
“Wow.”
“I like to think he did eventually find something fulfilling in his life. What he was doing certainly wasn’t it.”
Ava nodded. “I can see how this line of work could bring a person to the edge. You can’t only be in it for yourself.”
“No, you can’t. I’m glad that Luke came back into your life when he did. It’s funny how the universe has a way of delivering what we need, even when we don’t yet realize anything was missing.”
She laughed. “I’ve had that thought, myself, more than once over the past six weeks.”
They made small-talk for the remaining hour, including Kurtz recounting a tale from years before, when he had worked with Colonel Terry Henry Walton himself. His daughter, Marcie, headed up Kurtz’s and Ava’s division of the FDG, while Terry Henry—or TH, as his friends called him—ran the infamous Bad Company, an elite black ops group.
Such tales always reminded Ava how young she was compared to some of her colleagues. With modifications and enhancements thanks to Kurtherian technology, a person could live for hundreds of years without aging. Many of Ava’s colleagues who looked close to her own age were, in fact, decades older. Her own teammates, for that matter, were her senior, in terms of their age and time in the FDG. It was only her unique telepathic skills that had landed her in charge.
Not that telepathy was everything, but being able to read minds and control people’s actions did have its perks.
The Lisbeth II passed through the Annex Gate and completed its voyage to Onyx Station. With numerous Annex Gates, the station was a convenient hub for transit to almost anywhere in the galaxy. Ava hadn’t spent much time on the station itself, but its reputation as a gathering place for all sorts was widely known.
After docking, they gathered their travel bags and then wove through the pedestrian traffic to the docking location of the Hellfire. Windows on the outer wall of the concourse provided a view of the vessel as they approached.
“Holy shit,” Ava whispered as she took it in.
The dreadnought lived up to both the size and ferocity of a ship in its classification, with sleek lines that managed to be both breathtaking and menacing. Substantial artillery was positioned around the ship above its heavy plating. The gem, though, was the Arti-Sun weapon mounted in a hidden recess below the bow—a beam weapon with enough oomph to level a fleet or destroy a planet.
Considering that they had a planet-sized problem, it was the correct tool for the job.
“Have you ever had field command of a dreadnought before, sir?” Ava asked while they approached the gangway.
“No. But, between us, I always wanted to.” His eyes were bright with the kind of excitement a child might display before receiving a long-awaited birthday present.
Were it anyone else, Ava might have mistaken his enthusiasm for being power-hungry. Having glimpsed inside Kurtz’s mind, though, she had no doubt that this was a dream come true for him—a career aspiration finally come to fruition, even if only for a few hours.
“I can’t say I’d want the responsibility of being in command of all those people’s lives,” Ava replied.
“I wouldn’t want a ship full time,” Kurtz agreed, “but I don’t think anyone who works for a space fleet hasn’t fantasized at least once about captaining a ship for a day.”
She smiled back. “All right, you have me there.”
In Ava’s case, her fantasy had begun at the age of seven. At the time, her fantasy ship had been purple, and also included a cocobera petting zoo. She had never shared that with a soul, and she wasn’t about to start now—especially with Edwin on the prowl for new blackmail material, after her stunt the prior month.
At the top of the gangway, a sentry was standing guard.
“Colonel Tyson Kurtz, reporting for duty,” Kurtz stated.
The sentry saluted. “Sir, the captain is expecting you. Take the lift three meters to your left up to the bridge.”
Kurtz and Ava saluted back, then headed down the corridor to the lift the sentry had specified.
The interior was a significant step up from the utilitarian furnishings on the Raven, with the Hellfire sporting recessed lighting along the coved ceiling, blue accent colors along the bulkheads, a
nd even the occasional nebula photograph.
They entered the lift, which was sized to hold eight people. Kurtz selected the bridge from the interior control panel next to the door.
“If you never have another dreadnought command, sir, at least you can say this one was super fancy,” Ava said.
He chuckled. “And I have a witness!”
The lift doors opened into a lobby area with a bench and potted plant. To the left was a set of double doors marked as the bridge.
Kurtz took a deep breath and strode toward the doors, which opened automatically as he approached.
Ava followed him inside.
The bridge was every bit as sophisticated as the rest of the vessel, with the added component of having an expansive viewport wrapping around the far wall of the room, overlooking the bow. The starscape beyond was visible through a holographic overlay displaying the ship system status.
A middle-aged woman with chin-length, dark hair pulled into a half-ponytail rose from her chair in the center of the bridge when Kurtz and Ava entered. “Colonel Kurtz, you made good time.” She stepped toward the entry door and extended her hand.
Kurtz shook it. “Captain, it’s a pleasure to meet in person.” He released her hand and turned to Ava. “Captain Edith Vera, I’d like to introduce you to Lieutenant Ava Landyn.”
Vera’s eyes widened for a moment. “The Lieutenant Landyn from the Gidyon incident?”
“You heard about that, ma’am?” Ava asked, extending her hand for a shake.
The captain grasped it and looked in her eyes. “You destroyed a dwarf planet using only your mind. News about that sort of thing gets around.”
Ava blushed. “Oh.”
>>It’s good attention,<< Ruby commented, breaking her long silence.
Why didn’t you mention people were talking about me?
>>You didn’t ask, and you also seemed distracted enough as it was. You didn’t think that no one would take notice, did you?<<
Ava shrugged in her mind. I dunno. Gidyon is the middle of nowhere. What happens there doesn’t really impact the rest of the galaxy.
>>Some actions are more important than where they take place.<<
What’s that supposed to mean?
>>That you’re no longer an anonymous telepath working with a small team in the FDG. Some members of the broader Etheric Federation have taken notice.<<