It was an entire day and into the next evening before my phone rang again. It was pitiful how little contact I had with the outside world when I wasn’t working. I had gone from a bustling social life outside of work, to my social life revolving around my work. Now that I had no job, I had no one to talk to. I mean, I had people I could call I guess, but no one that would understand my predicament. They were all normal. Vanilla, like me.
The phone rang when I was three glasses deep into a bottle of cabernet I had received from Damien on my birthday. I had been saving it because he told me it was a special vintage, one of his favorites and he thought I would like it. It was important to me because in my snowed over girl crush mind he was sharing something personal with me. How appropriate that I was two thirds through the bottle when his name flashed across my phone screen. He wasn’t calling from the club phone, I warranted a call on his personal cell, how fancy.
“Helloo Damien,” I drawled into the phone, liquid courage lacing my voice with all the sass I could muster.
“Amelia.” Just my name. Nothing else. I didn’t even know how to respond to that.
“Can I help you with something? To what do I owe the pleasure?” I was picking at him on purpose, because I was still angry. My heart still hurt, even after the phone call with Ash the day before. “I’m quite busy you know,” I said as I laid upside down on my couch, my legs kicking over the backrest and my hair dragging the carpet. Busy being drunk and lazy.
For the first time since I had known him, Damien sounded uncertain. “Amelia, are you…drinking?”
“Why yes! A lovely bottle of Spottswoode Cabernet that was gifted to me by a dear friend for my birthday. Too bad he died.”
“Oh, come on Amelia, why do you still have that bottle? I gave it to you four months ago.”
“I was saving it,” I spat into the phone. “It was special to me, but now he’s gone and I’m in mourning. I've suffered a loss, Damien. What do you want?” I sat upright on the couch, in my addled state I thought it would help me hear better. That didn’t make sense, but then again, I was working my way to a great buzz, and the warmth of the wine lingered under my skin. I was feeling very brave.
“I would like to talk with you.”
“We’re talking right now.” I was full of smart comebacks. This wine made me feel super witty. I wondered if Damien appreciated my humor?
“Amelia,” this time it was a warning, but I ignored it.
“Damian,” I mimicked.
“I would like to see you in person. We need to have a discussion, and then you will understand just what went wrong the other night.”
“What went wrong the other night?” I screeched into the phone like a dive-bombing bird of prey. “You would have to be a blind man not to have seen what went wrong the other night. Do better, Damien.”
“I’ll not beg you.”
“You are not my Dom, Damien.”
“That is quite clear. Because if I was, woman, I would already have you in punishment for that smart mouth!” Oh. He was irritated now.
Why did that turn me on?
I heard him take a deep breath on the other end of the phone and then he tried again.
“Amelia, I would like for you to come to the club tomorrow.”
“It’s Sunday, the club is closed tomorrow.” Another deep, steadying breath.
“I am aware of that, I would still like you to come. I wish to have a private conversation with you. Ash will be there as well, but it will just be us. I want to show you something, and then it is my hope that you will have a better understanding.
“Understanding of what?” He wasn’t using the right words to get me to do any damn thing he wanted, but I was strangely having fun with our conversation anyway.
“Amelia. Enough. Come to the club tomorrow at nine.”
“Damien, I am not submissive to you, and even as a regular person off the street, you are not going about this correctly. If you want me to be anywhere within a one mile radius of you and Ash tomorrow night, then you damn well better ask me nicely. You. Hurt. Me.” I’d been on a roll, but that last part cost me. It cost me big, and my throat closed up briefly, causing the words to come out on a whisper. There was silence on the line for several seconds, then Damien spoke again, in the smoothest, most pleasant voice I had ever heard him use.
“Amelia, I don’t deserve your time, but I would appreciate it greatly if you would do me the honor of coming to the club tomorrow night. Please.” It might have been my imagination, but I thought I heard a trace of laughter on the tail end of that please.
“That was beautiful Damien, I hope that didn’t hurt too badly. I’ll come tomorrow, but I can’t promise how long I’ll stay. It all depends on how you treat me, to be honest.”
“That’s all I ask,” he replied, sounding like he had gotten exactly what he wanted, which irritated me all over again.
“Well, until tomorrow, have fun drinking to your dead friend.”
“Prayers lifted,” I said, and I hung up the phone.
4
I stood outside that damn club for almost ten minutes trying to figure out how I was supposed to get in. Did I knock on the front door? But there was a vestibule, and since the club wasn’t open who would even hear me knocking if they weren’t near the door? Likewise the back door was way at the back of the club by the offices. If no one was waiting at the rear of the club, I would be standing in the back of the alley knocking on a door no one had a hope of opening. It was really something I should have thought of, and I was saved by the ringing of my phone.
“Amelia, I thought I should tell you I have the front door unlocked for you. Just lock it behind you when you come in.”
“Did you see me standing out here?”
“What? No, I just thought you might not know which door to come to and didn’t want you running around the building. Damien didn’t think about it when he asked you to come, and to be honest it just now crossed my mind.”
As we were talking the door opened and Ash poked his head out. He smiled when he saw me and opened the door wide, beckoning me inside.
“Hi.” I walked into the vestibule but he didn’t back up to give me room to go through. I stood in front of him, about two inches shorter than his five foot eight and looked up at his questioning eyes. This was mildly awkward.
“Hi.” Well, at least I tried to say hi back. It was lost in an “oomph,” as I was crushed to his chest, my nose smushed into the thin cotton of his charcoal t shirt and Ash’s arms locked tight around my back.
Hesitantly I reached my arms around him, awkwardly patting until I felt his body relax a little, and I relaxed in turn. I let my palms rest on the smooth planes of his back as he hugged me tight, rocking back and forth ever so slightly. He smelled fresh, like clean skin and soap.
I’d never hugged Ash before, but somehow, after the traumatic events of the previous week, it just felt so good and right. I wanted to burrow even deeper into the comfort and safety of those arms, lose myself in the warmth and the nice clean smell of one of the men I wanted and couldn’t have, when a throat cleared behind us. We hadn’t moved from the vestibule but Damien had come in looking for us, and didn’t he just look like a wet dream standing in the doorway?
He was wearing a purple shirt and black slacks. That particular combo would normally sound plain, almost mundane, but it couldn’t be farther from the truth. The purple was so dark it was almost black, a sheen of eggplant only visible under direct light. The top few buttons unbuttoned to show the long line of his throat and the cuffs rolled up to his elbows. And the glasses. Where were the glasses? I felt like I was looking at the souped up version of Clark Kent with his glasses gone and dark hair freshly messed by some unseen hand.
I could hold my own against normal Damien Stockton, I could fight the waves of my tender heart crush on a normal day, and get the apology from him that I needed. I could not fight against the tsunami of lust that crashed over me as I looked at this off duty Damien, leani
ng against the open doorway, watching Ash and I hug it out with a cocky little half smile on his face. If I let him get the upper hand I would be ruined.
It was totally unfair.
“Are we done snuggling?” His proper British tone making a mockery of our hug. He might not have meant it that way, but I bristled anyway.
“We, weren’t snuggling. We, were saying hi. Hello, Damien.” I didn’t offer him a hug, and he didn’t offer one in return. I simply walked past him as he held the vestibule door open for me, catching a whiff of his signature spicy scent, and getting aggravated at myself for melting a little inside when I did. He didn’t stand aside to give me more room to walk, so I had to squeeze against him to get by. I thought I saw a flash of white teeth in the dark and heat crept up my cheeks. Whatever they wanted to show me, it had to happen soon because it seemed like Damien was taking pleasure in my discomfort. I should be the one with the upper hand here; I was the one who’d been wronged.
However, as I followed the boys through the empty club area and around the corner to where the private rooms began, I started to get the sneaking suspicion that I was in way over my head. I had never been in any of the private rooms before, never had a need to. In my entire almost year of working at the club I had managed to steer completely clear of the private places where people played their games. And now, as Damien opened the door to the first room on the right and switched on the light, my heart beat wildly in my chest and my pulse raced like mad. That one quick glimpse I got before Ash’s body blocked my view was enough to send my thoughts racing into overdrive.
Why the hell had they asked me here?
What were they going to do?
“What are we doing in here?” I asked, trying not to let my nervousness show even though my heart rate was escalating rapidly. I had never been in one of the play rooms before, and to be honest the air of mystery around what happened behind closed doors in this club made me uncomfortable. “I thought you wanted to talk?”
“The look on your face right now confirms that my concerns were correct, and I was right to schedule our session tonight. You look terrified, Amelia. You have no reason to be afraid of Ash and I.”
“I am not scared of you and Ash,” I leveled a stare at Damien, who had one eyebrow cocked, disbelief written all over his face. “But I don’t think much talking goes on in these rooms, if you know what I mean. And I thought that was why you invited me here in the first place.”
Ash grabbed my hand, his warm palm pressing against my skin as he laced his fingers through mine and tugged, pulling me through the doorway and fully into the room. “This is one of my favorite places Amelia, I want to share it with you.” He said, and the smile on his face lit up every corner of my dark shrouded mind. I had absolutely no reason not to trust Ash, my sweet, sensitive Ash. He was the warmth of the sun, while Damien embodied the coolness of the moon.
Damien regarded me with a shadowy expression, his eyes hooded and unreadable. “Why do you treat Ash so gently, and yet with me I get obvious disdain? It didn’t used to be that way, Amelia. Up until last week you treated me like you might actually like me as a person.”
“First of all,” since we were apparently letting it all hang out right now I started without pretense, “I did like you as a person. Or do? I don’t dislike you. I hate how you treated me, in public even. And that was before I found out that you were Ashes Dom.” He frowned hard.
“Why should it bother you that he is submissive to me? We have a relationship, and I thought you didn’t have issues with kink? I’m a little disappointed in you Amelia. But no matter, that’s why you are here tonight. We want to show you.”
“You both have said that, but I don’t understand, show me what? Also, I don’t have a problem with what other people do in their free time, but I would be lying if I said it didn’t bother me that you two specifically have that sort of relationship. It makes me wonder if you kicking me out of the club was for professional reasons, or if you just got off on making me cry.”
There. I said it. One of the things that had hurt me the most. My eyes stung from the effort of holding back tears that threatened to spill down from my own admission. I don’t care about subs and Doms, and I didn’t pretend to understand the dynamic. I did care though, that someone I respected and yes, had a crush on, had treated me so poorly. And maybe enjoyed being cruel.
“Oh, Amelia,” Ash’s arms circled me from behind and he laid his chin on top of my shoulder. “That’s not how it works, Honey. Damien I told you I should have followed her out.” Ash was a very touchy person, it seemed. I wasn’t normally, but it was nice to have the reassurance when I was feeling so vulnerable.
“This isn’t your fault Ash, it’s mine,” Damien said, and the look on his face was so fierce I thought he was going to start yelling at me. But he didn’t. He just ran his hand through his hair impatiently, like he was having a hard time making up his mind. Then he crossed the few feet to where I stood, Ash’s arms still around me, and before I could blink he kissed me.
It wasn’t a gentle kiss.
It was a kiss of frustration. It was quick, and it was hard, and if I would have had my wits about me I would have held on for dear life. But no, he was there and he was gone before I could even register what had happened, and he was across the room and pulling things out of a bag and placing them on a table before I could even find my words again.
“What was that for?”
Ash’s arms tightened around my waist before slowly letting go. “You’ve got him frustrated,” he whispered in my ear, and I thought I heard a smile in his voice but I couldn’t see his face to know for sure.
“Amelia, we have two different issues to discuss today. The second one is going to take longer to explain I think, so I will need you to be patient while Ash and I set up. The first though, is a misunderstanding that needs to be rectified immediately. Will you take a seat? Ash, can you help me with the gear check?” Damien gestured to one of two chairs in the room. One, being in the center of the floor, and the other being in the corner. The one in the center of the room had hooks connected to the back, so I sat in the one in the opposite corner. It looked the most normal. Harmless.
I gingerly sat, my back to the door, facing the two men who were calmly pulling items out of a bag and placing them on a table. I tried not to pay too close attention to what the items were, but my eyebrows shot up when a length of blue rope was casually placed next to a pair of black leather wrist restraints. I glanced nervously towards the door, hoping no one saw me.
“Relax, those aren’t for you.” Damien gave a long suffering sigh.
“They’re for me,” Ash said cheerfully, completely oblivious to my obvious discomfort. I would be less uncomfortable if they would just tell me what they hell they are doing, I thought to myself.
“What are the three die hard rules of the club, Amelia?”
I answered without thinking, “Respect, consent, and no violence.”
“Good girl. Now, you wonder why I treated you so harshly but those are the three most important keystones that the club is based around. It’s a safe place. For everyone. And you, as an employee, broke one of them without pause.” What was he talking about?
I must have looked as confused as I felt because Ash broke in. “You picked up Gregory by his shirt and almost hauled him over the bar, Amelia. It looked like you were going to punch him in the face any second.” If Damien hadn’t gotten involved I probably would have.
“You didn’t hear the things he was saying to Ash,” I countered, but Damien cut off any further argument with a motion of his hands.
“But that doesn’t matter. He was merely speaking. Words of nonsense, of course, and he would have been dealt with as a matter of course. But instead, what everyone saw, everyone in the entire club, Amelia, was a club employee manhandling a patron.” I didn’t really have a response to that.
“You also told me, during our…interesting phone conversation,” Damien paused and I remembered th
at I had been half blitzed when I gave him a hard time, “that you were not submissive to me. That is not entirely correct.”
“The hell you say,” I muttered, my cheeks heating up at the reference that I would ever be at his mercy. I don’t know what it was about the concept that had me so irritated, but the thought of Damien Stockton pushing me around and treating me like a slave did damage to my heart. That was not the kind of relationship I wanted from him, and finding out that was what he was into was just, devastating.
“I am your employer, Amelia, and as such I have a responsibility to give you direction, and trust that you will follow the rules. That is the truth of our relationship.” He walked away from Ash at the table and stood in front of where I sat. From my seated position he towered over me, his dark eyes flashing as he look down, his mouth set in a grim line. “It is my duty to the other employees and the patrons of the club that I deal with disturbances and I punish rule breakers—no matter who they are.”
“So you kicked me out of the club? You fired me because I wouldn’t get on my knees and beg forgiveness from someone who was baiting another employee, making him incredibly uncomfortable I might add. You wanted me to humiliate myself in front of all those people, so that you could maintain your status of being in charge? Is…is that what I’m supposed to take away from this?”
“Absolutely not, Amelia, and I can’t believe that is what you choose to take away from what I just said.” Damien looked appalled at my deduction, and crossed the room to stand just inches away from me. “I did what I did to cleanly bring the situation to a halt before it escalated into something ugly. Well, uglier than it had already gotten. I’m a business owner, Amelia, and I am responsible for everything that happens inside the doors, even if I’m not present, do you understand?” I nodded to show him I did understand, even though I didn’t. Not really. “I didn’t want to make you leave, but I did have to do something, to appease the man who had been manhandled by an employee, before he decided to sue. That is a very real danger, Amelia, especially in the line of work that we have. Our type of club, we have to toe the lines of the law very carefully, or we can be shut down in an instant.” I sucked in a deep breath, realization dawning.
Vanilla_Little Black Book Club Page 3