by Sarah Banks
Will and the boys began to bring in their trunks as it quickly grew dark. Lamps and hearths were lit and they began unpacking. She was pleased to see that the house was fully furnished including plenty of sheets and towels and everything one would need to cook with. The only thing they needed was food.
The cellar was near empty. She knew that Will rarely ate at home. That would all change now that they were married. Elizabeth enjoyed cooking and considered herself somewhat accomplished. That evening she managed to put together a tasty stew, big enough to feed all of them along with two sheets of biscuits.
At the supper table when she mentioned the lack of food supplies Will said, “I’ll take you to the mercantile tomorrow morning and introduce you as my wife. Put anything you need on my tab.”
“Margaret and I are very good working within a budget, but we’ll need more than usual to get started,” she warned him, trying to draw him into conversation. He had barely spoken a word to her since the saloon.
He nodded. “I’m not worried. Besides, Mr. Evans, he owns the mercantile,” he explained, “he wouldn’t hesitate to tell me if he thought you were overspending.”
He gave her a teasing smile and her heart hitched. It was the first sign of affection he had shown her in the few hours since he had learned she was the ‘Black Widow Bride.’”
The smile slid from his face as if he had just remembered. Elizabeth looked down at her bowl and made herself finish her stew.
Chapter Five
It was late. Most everyone was in bed, if not already sleeping. Every trunk had been unpacked and the dishes were done. She and her siblings had learned nothing over the years if not how to be industrious and she thought Will looked impressed as he moved empty trunk after empty trunk into the spare bedroom.
Afterwards Elizabeth didn’t know what to do with herself. She wasn’t sure where Will had gone off to and she desperately wanted to speak with him. Now that he knew most of her secrets, she wanted to confess all. She wanted his forgiveness. She wanted a second chance.
She went into the bedroom they were to share. The dark wood four-poster bed centered the room and was topped with a blue and cream coverlet that looked brand new. She fingered the lovely, soft fabric and wondered if it was purchased especially with her in mind. She looked around the room in awe. Two matching nightstands, two large armoires and a small table with a single chair, the seat covered in dark blue fabric. Never had she lived somewhere so nice and the sight of it brought tears to her eyes. She sat down on the bed with a sniff.
Refusing to cry, she grabbed a book from her nightstand and flipped through the pages without really seeing any of the words. She wasn’t sure how much time passed before the door finally creaked open and her husband appeared. She closed her book with shaking hands.
“Oh, I thought you’d already be in bed,” he said, standing frozen in the doorway.
“I was waiting for you.”
He closed the door with a nod. They stood looking at each other in silence for a few long moments before he finally sighed. He grabbed the only chair in the room, placed it in front of her and sat down. “Okay, let’s have it.”
She bit her lip. “I don’t know where to start.”
“How about the beginning?”
“Alright.” She forced herself to meet his eyes. He didn’t look angry nor particularly agreeable, but rather neutral and distant. She hoped to change that in time. She didn’t expect him to love her, she was practical about her marriages after all. But she did hope to gain his affection in time and that they would have an amiable marriage. She found herself already starting to care about him a great deal. She took a deep breath. “You know about my mother and father,” she began, “from our letters.”
Will nodded.
“And my first marriage to Sam. I traveled west from the New York coast to marry him.”
“Daniel’s father.”
“Daniel was born after Sam died.”
“That was the marriage I knew about.”
Elizabeth flinched but managed to answer, “Yes.” She hadn’t been in love with Sam. They had only been married a short period of time, just shy of six months before he died. She had been fond of him though. He was a kind, educated man. But he had had a drinking problem. That was what almost made her dismiss the idea of marrying Will, when she learned he owned a saloon. She knew not every man had trouble with alcohol, but she hadn’t been sure she wanted to take the risk. In the end, she didn’t feel like she had much of a choice. They didn’t have enough money left to last them through the year. Every day she woke up and felt as if she could hear the ticking of a clock. She had to make a decision and made the best one she could.
“How did he die?”
Elizabeth closed her eyes. It wasn’t something she wanted to relive. But Will deserved to know everything.
“He fell off the roof.” She shuddered. She still remembered the sound his body had made when it hit the ground outside the kitchen window. The whump that shook even the floor underneath her feet. She hadn’t known at the time what the noise even was, until she and Charles went outside to investigate.
“How’d he managed that? Was he fixing the roof?” Will asked.
Elizabeth shook her head. “Sam was smart but I’m not sure he would know one end of a hammer from the other,” she said with a hollow laugh. “But he loved stars and constellations. It wasn’t uncommon for him to go on the roof and stare at the night sky. He could spend hours up there.” He ventured up there so often the ladder never left its space against the side of the house. Perhaps she should have put her foot down and tried to discourage him from going up there after he had been drinking, which was unfortunately every night, from the moment he stepped through the door after work. “He had been drinking.”
“Ah, I see. So people thought you killed him.”
“No! Nobody thought that. It was an accident.” She hesitated before sharing, “Everyone knew he had a drinking problem.” She might not have loved Sam but she did care for him and she didn’t want to betray his memory by speaking ill of him, even if it was the truth.
“I’m sorry,” Will said, his brown eyes filled with concern in the lamplight.
She wasn’t sure if he was saying he was sorry because Sam died or because he had a drinking problem, or maybe both.
“Did he ever…take anything out on you or your brothers and sisters?”
“What? No! Sam was a kind man. He was a happy, sloppy drunk,” she said with a roll of her eyes. “His worst offense would be oversleeping the next day. Charles and I had to practically roll him out of bed and dress him for work every morning. We would ply him with an entire pot of coffee until he was almost normal again.” She hated the effect his drinking had on her siblings, but he had never once raised a hand or his voice to them. “If he had been violent, even a little, I wouldn’t have hesitated to disappear at first opportunity. I deserve better than that and I would never subject my brothers and sisters to violence of any kind.”
“And what about your second husband?”
“His name was John. He lived in Colorado. I didn’t plan on remarrying. Sam left us with a little money once we sold his house and paid off his debts, but it wouldn’t last. We needed a steady income. Charles wanted to get a job, but I refused. I told him schooling was more important. He didn’t speak to me for a week. I finally relented and both he and I got jobs. It was just enough money to survive on. We lived on top of each other in a boardinghouse by then. George and Alice attended school fulltime and Margaret just in the mornings, she was so far advanced.”
“What about Daniel?”
“Daniel changed everything. I realized that I would need to marry again. John was more of father than a husband, maybe even grandfather. He was almost three times my age,” she admitted.
Will’s brows drew together and she straightened her spine. He had no right to judge her. She did what she had to do for her and her family’s survival, not to mention Margaret’s terrible situation.
But that wasn’t her secret to tell.
“John was just a lonely old man. All he wanted was companionship and a family under his roof and around his table again. He was wonderful to me,” her voice cracked, “and with my brothers and sisters, so kind and loving. His wife had long since passed and he only had one daughter who was grown and married.”
“How did he die?”
“He died in a fire,” she whispered.
“And no one else got hurt?”
“No, we were at church. John was a God-fearing man, but he didn’t attend church with us. I don’t know precisely why. I do know that some people judged him harshly, including his own daughter, for marrying a much younger woman.” And us, she silently added, remembering the many times they had been snubbed in the small town. “But I don’t know if that had anything to do with it and I didn’t want to pry. I frequently caught him reading the Bible so I wasn’t particularly worried for his soul. He was a good man, inside out.”
“And people think you killed him?”
“Some people did, including his own daughter. However, there wasn’t enough evidence to support such a claim. John was in his mid-sixties and seemed in good health given his age. He did smoke a pipe every evening by a cracked window, but I’ve never seen him smoke during the day. That was why it was so strange when they found him sitting in his usual chair and said the window was closed. Nor were they able to locate his pipe in the rubble near where he was found.” A tear leaked from the corner of her eye and she quickly wiped it away. “I don’t know what happened and I probably never will. I pray that he died in his sleep while smoking but I don’t know, I just don’t know.” She gripped the fabric of her dress tightly, trying desperately not to be sucked into the past. She was only so strong. She had to focus on now.
Will’s fingers touched hers on her lap and she looked up startled.
“I’m sorry to bring up such painful memories but I need to know everything before we can move past it. Do you understand?”
“Yes.”
“So they proclaimed you a suspect in his death?”
“They never said those exact words, but they conducted an investigation and interviewed all of us, me, my siblings, his daughter and our neighbors. It was finally ruled inconclusive and accidental.”
“How long were both of these marriages?”
“Almost six months with Sam. Four with John.”
“I see.”
“The rumors began before I started to correspond with you. The articles after.” She remembered feeling backed into a corner. “We lost every possession except the clothes on our back in the fire. John had some money in the bank but it wasn’t much and certainly not enough to move and start over somewhere else on our own.”
“So that’s where I came in?”
She hated the way he made it sound, as if she was using him. It wasn’t like that. They both wanted things out of this marriage. Love would come if they were lucky but probably not. It was a marriage of convenience, for both of them.
“Yes. We stayed with a benevolent neighbor until the investigation was complete and John’s funds were released to me. We repurchased the necessary belongings and I started looking for another husband. I didn’t know what else to do.”
She was still looking at her lap as she had been through most of her story. His fingers touched her chin, gently tilting up her head until she was looking at him.
“So that’s everything?”
She forced herself to nod.
He sighed before dropping his hand. “Well, here’s what I suggest we do. Start fresh. No more secrets. I may not like that you didn’t tell me the truth from the very beginning, but I understand why you didn’t. While I would have still married you despite two husbands who died prematurely, I probably would have hesitated had I known the rumors regarding the circumstances of their deaths. I know that you’re protective of your siblings along with your son. I see the fierce motherly gaze not only when you look at Daniel but every single one of your brothers and sisters.”
She looked down again and swallowed.
“You’re like a mother to all of them.”
She nodded.
He touched her chin again and she looked up with watery eyes.
“Hey, none of that,” he said softly, brushing away her tears. “Let’s start over, from this moment. I believe you and I can have a happy marriage if we both work at it, don’t you?”
“Yes,” she sobbed. She wanted to throw herself into his arms, to thank him for his understanding and acceptance and to feel the comfort of his embrace.
“Okay then, that’s what we’ll do.” He stood up and replaced the chair to its proper place at the desk. “There is one more quick thing I would like to talk about.”
She followed him around the room with her eyes. “What is it?” She asked tentatively.
He leaned back against the door. “Er, intimacy.”
“Intimacy?” She repeated in a whisper.
He nodded. “I just wanted to let you know that I’m not expecting it, at least not right away. But that I would eventually like to be, and um, have children with you.” His cheeks turned pink.
“Of course.”
She was intimate with her first husband, but not her second. Her second husband had been seeking companionship and for her to be living in his house respectably, that had required marriage. She wasn’t blessed with children in her first marriage for whatever reason, whether it was him, her, or perhaps they just hadn’t been married long enough. She wasn’t sure if it was a good or bad thing she hadn’t conceived, as despite her many siblings, she did want children of her own. But considering Sam died young, perhaps it had been for the best because had she truly been pregnant, her child would have never met its father.
“And even if we wait, I’d like to share a bed with you.”
“I would like that too,” she said softly. There was no reason to wait. She had had marital relations with her first husband and she went into this marriage fully expecting to do the same. Yes, she was nervous about it, but putting something off didn’t make those feelings go away, it only made them worse. “We don’t have to wait. I would like children too. More children,” she corrected herself.
“I think we should wait. Not long. Just until we get to know each other a little better.” Before she could reply he asked, “How long do you need to get ready for bed?”
“Not long. Perhaps ten minutes.”
“Then I’ll be back in ten minutes,” he said, leaving the room.
She sat on the bed replaying their conversation in her head for a few minutes before realizing that he would be back soon. She wasn’t afraid to share a bed with him but that didn’t mean she wanted to undress in front of him. She quickly changed into her nightgown and unpinned her hair. Giving it a few hasty strokes with a brush, she twisted it into one long braid down her back, dimmed the lamp and slipped under the covers.
He returned in promptly ten minutes and she couldn’t help but smile, her lips slightly hidden underneath the covers that she had drawn up past her neck. She noticed him frequently looking at his pocket watch throughout the day. She wondered if it was a gift and if so, from whom? He seemed rather attached to it and very attentive of the time. Seeing how upset he had been with himself earlier when he missed meeting them at the train station, she had immediately forgiven him. It must have driven him crazy to be late to the preacher’s as well, although he had given the busboy at the restaurant a coin to run a note to the church while they enjoyed a relaxed meal.
Will put out the lamp first and she listened to him undress in the dark. He joined her underneath the covers but since the bed was so large, they didn’t touch.
“Goodnight Elizabeth.”
“Goodnight Will.”
She didn’t immediately fall asleep, just listened to the sound of his breathing and wondered if he snored like Sam. He didn’t. He eventually fell asleep and she only heard the deep, even sounds of his breathing. It was a comforting sound
and lulled her to sleep.
Chapter Six
When Will woke he knew without checking his pocket watch that it was late. He was used to sleeping well into the morning because of his late hours at the saloon but he hadn’t worked yesterday. It had been his first day off since he had inherited the bar. He had, however, gotten married.
He turned and was surprised to see Elizabeth still sleeping beside him. He took the opportunity to study her. She was laying on her side facing him, with both of her hands tucked underneath her head. The position made her look younger, not that she was old at all, but despite being only twenty years old, she had already lived through so much: losing both her parents and two husbands, raising her siblings along with her son and marrying a third time.
His eyes moved across her face, down her silky black hair that had been drawn into a braid, to the white lace of her nightgown when she shifted underneath his gaze. His eyes immediately darted back up to hers.
“Good morning,” he said.
“Good morning Will,” she murmured sleepily, turning onto her back and stretching. Her eyes went to the window and her brows drew together. “What time is it?”
He retrieved his watch from the nightstand, flipping it open. “It’s just past ten.”
She flew upright into a sitting position. “It is? I’ve never slept so late in my life!” She put her hands to her cheeks. “What you must think of me!”
He gave her a gentle smile. “I think that you must have been tired from traveling. Now me, I’m used to keeping late hours at Hank’s but even so, I’m usually up by nine. I slept incredibly well,” he told her, especially considering this was the first time he had shared a bed with anyone for an entire night. Plus, they had had a long conversation, finally clearing the air about her past. After all that, he was surprised he had fallen asleep so easily let alone slept for so long.