"I know that you must despise me for what I have done. To leave you, an innocent child defenseless, it was unspeakable."
"It was," I said.
She did not flinch from my blunt manner but gazed at me with her piercing violet eyes. Eyes I had inherited from her. I had inherited her legacy and her curse. "Believe when I say, had there been another choice, I would have taken it. Everything I did was to protect you."
"How are you going to protect me in this form? You taunt me with riddles and incomprehensible images." I bunched my hands into fists. She was no more use to me than she had been in life.
"When I sacrificed my life, I joined with the first. I saw terrible things that awaited you, my daughter, and I knew this was the only way to help you. This way I can guide you. Had I not, you would still be in Keisan in the thrall of that man."
Her words stung, but I saw the truth in them as well. My mother was the one that had shown me Adair killing his uncle. Until that moment I had thought he was on my side, but once I had discovered his plot, Adair had turned on me and betrayed me. He framed me for the king's murder.
"Had you not taken your own life, I would have had a mother and a real teacher who would help me with the development of my powers," I snapped. Even if there was logic to her decision, it did not take away the hurt.
She reached out to touch me, but I brushed her hand away. "This is our fate, my daughter."
"This is our curse," I said. "If you want to help me, tell me, how can I save Johai?"
"The man, Johai, is the gateway. He will unleash the specter. Once unleashed, his power will be insurmountable. You must kill him, Maea."
"So you have said to me before, but there must be another way. Elenna told me I am the one to break the chain, the cycle ends with me!"
"Yes, you are to break the chain because the vessel has not accepted the power. Their bond is incomplete only when he is transforming. In that brief moment, you can strike at him and kill the specter for good. I know you wish it were not so, but it is the truth. No matter who promises you alternatives, there is one path, and that is his death."
"There has to be another way." My voice was weak and feeble. I had been defeated by my own destiny. At the back of my mind I had doubted; I thought we could defeat the odds. Elenna had been so sure that Sarelle held the key.
"But Sarelle's murder it is the answer to saving Johai." I balled my hands into fists at my side.
"Sarelle was the catalyst. Her death sent into motion events that have been building for a century. Her death brought together the east and the west in marriage. She was a hostage of war, one that raged since the Danhadines first landed on the shores of these lands. The powers that be are weak, a new class is rising, and the common people doubt their leaders and squabble within. The once peaceful Biski are attacking their bordering countries. Chaos is brimming to the surface, preparing for his rise. Only you can stop the utter decimation of life. The vessel must die. There is no other way to send the specter to the underworld."
I sank down to my knees. I refused to give up. I had come this far; this could not be the end. "I do not want to let him go," I whispered.
"Listen to me, daughter. These patterns you see, these signs, they have been long foretold. Generations of our blood have kept him back, have prevented his rising. You have one chance to stop this, to end the cycle. The princess' death, the marriage between the kingdoms, even the child of two crowns, they foretell his coming. They foretell the monster's rising. And now, a tide is gathering, one too large for you to overcome, and when that tide comes crashing down, he will attempt to unleash the monster within him, and at that moment, when they are about to connect as one, you must destroy them both and send it to the underworld at last. You are the circle unbroken. We must end the thousand years of pain and suffering at last."
I wanted to cry, to shout to deny it. Images of Johai flashed before my eyes, bent over and writhing in pain. Power streamed out of him like a bright light. When he was standing upright once more, his eyes had changed to that bottomless black. The specter laughed using Johai's mouth as he gained control. He waved his hand, and the forests were caught ablaze. He flicked his wrist, and the mountains crumbled. The cities burned, and the people cried out in anguish. Their laments ran through my ears, and I pressed my hands to my skull, trying to shut out the keening sound.
"You and you alone can break the chain," my mother repeated. "The king will die in three days' time, and once that happens, the dam will break and the end will be upon us at last. When the time comes, you must kill him."
Chapter Nineteen
I AWOKE TO PRINCESS Arlene leaning over me. The chamber was back to normal. King Reynard lay motionless on the bed, a husk of a human being. My mother was gone, slipped back between the veils of time, waiting for me with her taunting riddles. I wanted to weep, but now was not the time or the place.
"What did you see?" Princess Sarelle demanded. She grabbed my shoulders and shook me. My head lolled from side to side. I was too weak to fight her off.
I want to be alone. I want to curl up in a ball and cry. I refuse to acknowledge defeat. Princess Arlene glowered at me with a stubborn set of her chin. She wants to know when her father will die. It would be easy to lie and say I do not know. She would arrest me, and if I am in chains, then I cannot kill Johai. I met Johai's gaze over Princess Arlene's shoulder. His brows were pinched with worry. I looked away. When I saw him, I saw my fate staring back at me. There is no escaping it now. I must kill him.
"I communed with the king," I said, and my voice shook. I folded my hands in my lap and looked to the king. He was still as death, but his time had not come, not yet. "He will die in three days' time."
The king's immobile figure swam in and out of focus. My cheeks were wet, and I reached a hand up to brush away the moisture. My tears had come though I fought them. I dashed them away with the back of my hand. I must appear calm. I cannot show weakness in front of my enemies.
"Is that so?" There was not accusation in her tone, only a great sadness.
"I am sorry, Your Highness."
Her head snapped up, and her scowl was back when she heard my condolences. "This vision is not truth until it comes to pass. I will wait three days, and if my father does not..." She hesitated. For the first time since I met Princess Arlene, it occurred to me that she was a woman, like me. She was prone to fear, to doubt and to love just as I was. She snarled and postured, but beneath it all she was a scared little girl who did not want to lose her father.
I laced my fingers together to stop myself from reaching out and trying to comfort her. I knew that sort of gesture would not be appreciated. What comfort can I give anyone? I could not even repay my debts to Johai and save him. The cards had fallen, and I must play my hand given. This is no gift; it is a curse.
"You should notify your council, prepare them for the king's death," Johai advised the princess. She looked at him not without scorn but neither without intrigue.
"How can I advise them of this?" She motioned towards her father. "Should I tell them I called upon the Lady of the Waters to divine my father's death?"
Johai did not dignify her question but said, "You desire the throne. What do you plan to do about the accession, Your Highness?"
"While my father lives, I control the council."
"And when he dies, so does your power. If you are your father's heir, then you must grab control now. Reach out to the allies you have, prepare to take the throne." Johai's conviction was astonishing, and I was not certain if it was him speaking or the specter with his voice.
"What if he lives?" Princess Arlene's voice was high and strained.
Johai did not reply. I, however, felt compelled to tell her the truth. "Your uncle is in league with Danhad. I believe if you do not take the throne, he will give it to the Danhadine king."
She narrowed her eyes at me. "Why would you tell me this?"
I rubbed a hand over my face. I felt exhausted, and my emotions were strung tau
t. "Because I would rather you on the throne than King Adair's puppet."
A door at the back of the room creaked open, and a woman in a gown of dark brown came in carrying a silver tray with a goblet upon it. She wore a white cap and an apron around her waist tied beneath her bosom. She saw us and drew up short.
"Your Highness." Her eyes darted to Princess Arlene and then to Johai and me. "I came to give His Majesty his evening tonic."
"Leave it. I shall give the king his evening tonic."
We had arrived in the daylight. I glanced out the window, and the night had fallen. Ink black sky limited the view to a few inches beyond the window. The woman left the tonic on the bedside table. She bowed and left us.
"You should leave. It would not do to have anyone else know you were here."
"Very well, Your Highness," I replied.
Princess Arlene showed us to the door. The same servant was waiting, and he escorted us down the same narrow passageways out of the palace. We climbed into the carriage and not a word passed between us. My mind was filled with dire thoughts, and I dared not even glance at Johai. We returned to the playhouse. I was backstage on my way to return the costume when I ran into Antoinette.
"Oh, illusino, are you performing tonight? It would be a good night to do so, the ambassador is here. I saw his carriage waiting outside."
I smiled. "No, not tonight, I performed a private show, and I was returning the costume."
"Oh, I see." She smiled, but it seemed wan.
I noticed that beneath her stage makeup she had dark circles, and she did not seem to be her useful energetic self. I had been meaning to ask her since I had run into her at the palace. "How is your lord; has he returned with the army?"
She looked down at her feet. "He has, but I am not sure he is happy with me anymore." I wanted to press her further, but someone called out to her from the wing of the stage. "I must go. It was good seeing you, illusino."
Perhaps her admirer had been a fickle lord who fancied himself daring to court a commoner. I felt for Antoinette; it appeared that she cared for the man. I returned the costume and hurried out back where Jon's carriage awaited us. It was meant to appear as if I had been attending a show. When I returned to the villa, Jon was in the entryway, pacing back and forth.
"Maea, you have returned. I worried since it was the princess—" Before he could finish his sentence, I launched myself into his arms.
He embraced me without comment, and I could feel Johai's glare on the pair of us. I did not care. Let him hate me. Let him despise me. That way when I drive the dagger into his heart, he will not look at me as if I have betrayed him. No matter what Jon was to me, my false husband and double agent, he had assisted me, given me the opportunity to seek the answers that could not be. He was also the sole person who would not question me. I did not realize it, but he had become an ally. I had shielded my heart, unwilling to trust, but he had been true to me. He may very well turn on me in the end. In that moment, he was the strong pair of arms I needed, a rock to cling to in my despair. I needed someone, and so I took advantage of his kindness.
"Maea, if I knew you were harboring affection for me, I would have planned something special."
I hiccupped and wiped away tears that I had been holding back. "I just need a moment," I said into his chest. He patted my hair and gently led me out of the entryway and away from prying eyes.
While Jon and I had shared a moment, Johai slipped away, and I felt worse for it. My only solace was Beau was not there to see the spectacle. I did not need his judgment on top of everything else.
Jon and I retired in his study, and after I regained my composure, I said to him, "I spoke to the king. He is going to die three days from now."
"You spoke to the king?" Jon asked. His tone did not disguise his disbelief. "He has not woken for more than a three-month."
"That may be true, but I do not need human conventions to speak."
He paled a bit and made no further comment.
"Is there something more on your mind?" Jon gently prodded.
I looked at the tabletop to avoid his gaze. "I want you to tell me the truth. What are you doing here in Sanore?"
He sighed, and I looked up at him. He leaned back in his chair, but the relaxed manner had stiffened, and he seemed aged beyond his years. "It depends on which master or mistress you speak to," he said. He pinched the bridge of his nose. "Adair sent me here to make connections for the Order. They wanted our men on the council. I delivered the requests and made the arrangements; however, everyone I contacted died shortly thereafter. I suspect someone at court has caught onto his plots and sought to stop it."
I nodded. "I think I know who that was."
"Care to share?" he asked.
I shook my head. "Not yet." Princess Arlene was killing Order members and replacing them with her own men. Does that make her my enemy or my ally? I wasn't even sure anymore.
"You are cruel, my lady, I have spilled my secrets, yet you hold your tongue."
I smiled at him. "You have not told me all. What did Sabine ask of you, then?"
He shrugged with that wicked smirk. "I shall not divulge a lady's confidence."
"Then do not ask me to divulge mine."
I stood and swayed on my feet. Jon jumped up to help me, but I waved him off. He hovered behind me and showed me to the door. He touched me lightly on the shoulder, and I tilted my head back to look at him.
"Tell me why you cried. It cannot be for the king you grieve."
Tears swam in my eyes, but I bit my lip and held them back. I took a deep breath and said, "I must kill Johai to prevent the rising of the specter that dwells within him."
"Did you not suspect as much before?" he asked, not unkindly.
"I thought—" I swallowed my hysteria. I could not lose control now. "I hoped there would be a way to save him."
Jon was pensive for a moment. "I am sorry, Maea, truly I am."
I fought a fresh wave of tears. "So am I."
I left him then and went to my own chamber, where I wept until my pillow was wet with tears and I felt as if I could not cry anymore or I would become a dried husk. When I woke in the morning, my eyes hurt and my body ached from crying. I broke my fast alone in the dining hall. Along with a serving of chilled melon, the servant brought a letter with a wax seal. I took it and broke the seal. I scanned the document and set it down upon the table. I was surprised the countess had sought me out. I had planned to reach out to her. Using her as the messenger had been only a part of my plan to reach Damara. It would appear it was going according to plan.
I called for Beau to attend me on my trip to her home. Johai was absent, and I suspected he had gone out after seeing me with Jon. I promised myself I would apologize to him when I saw him next.
Beau and I arrived at the countess' home, and Hilliard greeted us at the door.
"Welcome, my lady is glad to have you." His tone was distant and formal. He wore a black doublet with gold stitching and a stylized flower on his breast. His blank expression and the finery did not suit him. I preferred him in rough-spun cotton, leather and chainmail.
"Hilliard—" I stopped myself from continuing my statement. The time had not come for that. Not yet. "Thank you very much."
He bowed at the waist and led me inside. The countess was in her parlor, waiting for me, and she stood up as I entered.
"Oh, Duchess Sixton, thank you for coming." She smiled and waved for Hilliard to close the door.
The door clicked closed, and I did not like the sound of it. Beau seemed uneasy because I heard the scrape of his sword as he pulled it loose from its scabbard.
"There is no need for swords," Hilliard said. He stepped forward and put a hand on Beau, who scowled at him.
"We are friends, are we not, Maea?" the countess purred.
I whirled towards her. "I do not know what you mean, my lady. I am Aoife Sixton."
The countess laughed. "We know that is not true. It was my idea for Johai to take the form
of a guard to protect you. Did you think I would not see his hand on your disguise?"
I dared not believe my ears. I turned slowly this time. The countess stepped aside, and the room's other occupant stood and smiled at me. Her auburn hair was coifed on top of her head in a spiraled braid.
"It is good to see you, my dear," Damara said.
I wept and ran into her outstretched arms. Despite all our history, even though I had once distrusted her, she at one time had been like a mother to me, and I needed her now more than ever. This meeting was more than I hoped for. I knew Damara was working for the countess, but I had not had the resolve to confront them, and here they had planned together to reveal her to me.
"You've been here this whole time. Why did you not tell me!" I admonished her.
She petted my head and smiled that damnable smile. "To be honest, I did not know it was you until recently. You don't look yourself, dear."
I wiped happy tears from my eyes before removing the pearl earrings that anchored my glamour.
"You do not look yourself either." I smiled and plucked at her rough-spun gown. "You've been working as a lady's maid this entire time?"
"It was not so bad. Lorelle is an old friend of mine, and it was the ideal position to find out what I need. What I want to know is how did you manage this? I never would have thought to see you here. I thought Johai had more sense than to bring you to the city."
"I never thought we would linger, but... plans were changed."
Damara laughed high and clear, and I basked in the sound.
I turned to Hilliard, who was grinning wide enough to show his missing tooth. "Lass, we worried sick about you."
He sat on the other side of me, and I embraced him as well. Countess Lorelle sat across from us. Beau did not sit but instead hovered by the door.
"I am sorry. Things have been complicated."
"So it seems." Damara smiled.
Once I had gotten over my initial elation at seeing her again, I felt uncomfortable. Not even a year had gone by that I had despised her because I thought she wanted to control me. She had only been carrying out my wishes. I had agreed to leave my memories of Johai behind in order to prevent the union of Adair and Sabine. The spell had gone wrong, and I had turned against everyone I once loved, and failed despite it.
[fan] diviners saga 02 - diviners curse Page 23