by B. A. Wolfe
I wasn’t sure how else to respond other than to do as she said. “Love you too Mel.” I snapped the phone closed and absorbed her words. I somberly walked back to our picnic in the grass and handed Jason back his phone.
“You okay?”
“Yeah.”
“What was that all about? You know I could have left if you wanted to gush to your friend about me and my awesome picnic,” he said, as if he knew exactly why I walked away.
“Were you eavesdropping?” I asked, teasing him.
“No, but you did come back looking upset. Talk to me.” He patted the open spot next to him on the blanket. I sat down next to him, noticing he cleaned up our empty lunch containers.
“Okay. Can I ask you a question?”
He looked over at me with a raised eyebrow.
“No not like the game. It’s a question about life.” I said.
“Go for it,” he said.
“Do you ever go over in your head how someone will react to something you tell them, you know, like a conversation playing out?”
“All the time, but only because I’m scared... I’m scared that I’m going to get hurt, so I reason with myself by saying it’s okay not to tell the person because I already know the outcome, but I don’t. The future is unknown; you can’t pre-plan in your head how life will play out until it does. Conversations included. I learned that a while ago, Cassie. If you never take the chance to let things play out, then how will you ever learn how to trust in other people? You’re just assuming you know, and remember what you told me about assuming,” he said, flashing me a wink. “Does that answer your question Sweetheart?”
Between him and Mel, I wasn’t sure who was more spot on with how I’ve been acting lately, but it took Jason’s reasoning for me to realize how much I’ve been doing what I was always told not to… assume. “More than you’ll ever know.”
He grabbed his socks and boots and slipped them on. I looked at him, waiting for him to say what he was doing because I wasn’t ready to leave yet.
“Come here. I want to show you something. I know you already left your mark on the tree but I want you to leave another one,” he said with a devilish smile.
I shook my head and laughed. I slipped on my socks and boots before grabbing his hand as he took us across the street.
When we got to the tree, the visible damage that I did to it could have been seen a mile away, but up close, it was far worse. “Damn. I didn’t think I hit it that hard,” I told him as I grabbed onto the tree trunk.
“I tried to tell you,” he told me. “Over here, this side.”
I followed him around to the other side of the tree and saw initial after initial carved into the tree. Some were inside hearts, and others were alone. “Wow, is this like a town thing or something?” I asked, intrigued with all the letters engraved in the tree. I saw too many letters. I tried to find Jason’s but I didn’t see a J or a B next to each other. I did see a J next to an A that wasn’t in a heart, but I wasn’t sure whom the A was for.
“The town legend says that it brings you good luck,” he whispered as he came up behind me, “if you believe hard enough.”
I could feel the goose bumps trickle down my skin as I felt him breathing on my shoulder. “Is that so?” I asked, turning my head to the side to meet his gaze.
“That’s what they say.”
“Why are there initials inside the hearts then?”
“Couples that want good luck. Are you not romantic, Cassie?” he asked me as he walked to my side, leaning up against the tree.
“I guess I just haven’t found the right person to make me believe romance like that exists,” I said truthfully. I believed it had to be out there somewhere, but wherever it was, I had yet to find it, or him.
He took a pocket knife out of his back pocket and flipped it open. “Well I guess we’ll just have to give you some luck then, won’t we?” he asked as he took the knife to the tree.
“Oh really? And whose initial is going next to mine?” I asked curiously. My heart started racing the moment he started carving. I knew there was something with Jason, but I wasn’t ready to admit it yet.
He made a heart and put a letter C inside of it. “You’ll have to leave it open until you find the guy. Then you can come back and put his initial next to yours.”
“And where will I find this guy? I seem to be looking in all the wrong places,” I said. I rested my hand casually over my stomach as I thought about the worst place I ever looked, the place that caused the growing seed inside me. I was most definitely looking in all the wrong places.
“I don’t know where, but I have a feeling he’s close by,” he said as he slid the knife back in his pocket.
I was sure my heart skipped more than a beat; try ten. I was more off base than I realized. He had to feel it too. A person just doesn’t make a comment like that. Mel was right.
“You ready to head back?”
“Yeah, I guess so,” I replied. Not ready to head back just yet, but not knowing if I was going to be able to keep my feelings to myself the longer we stood here talking about romance and guys.
“You seem unsure of that?”
“No, I’m fine.”
“Okay see, there’s that word. ‘Fine.’ It does not mean what it sounds like. It’s obviously not fine, so are you trying to figure out in your mind what we are going to do next? Is that what’s bothering you?” he asked. God, he was too much. I couldn’t believe he was a guy who knew the word fine meant anything but what it sounded like.
“You’re good Jason, too good,” I told him. “I really had a good afternoon with you and I’m not ready for it to end.”
“Who said it has to end?”
I could see the blush coloring his cheeks again. Damn, he looked too gorgeous with the rosy cheeks that I caused. “You’re blushing again,” I said.
“That seems to happen a lot around you.”
“So what’s next then Mr. Rosy Cheeks?”
His cheeks became an even deeper shade of pink. “We were doing so well too, with the grass and all. I really thought you were catching on Sweetheart,” he said. “I’ll figure out something to do, but you won’t get to know what it is until I say so.”
“You really know how to get my anxiety going don’t you?” I teased him.
“Just as much as you know how to get me to blush.” He smiled back.
Eighteen
“SO THIS IS YOUR IDEA OF FUN?” I asked as we sat on the sofa in his room.
“I said I had something in mind, give it a chance before you cross it off as not being fun,” he told me as he walked over to his closet.
He came walking out, carrying the board game Scrabble. “Alright, I got it, let’s go.”
I gave him a questioning glance as he left his room and headed back upstairs stopping at the kitchen table. Trish and Bart were already in the kitchen when we got up there.
“Hi Trish, Hi Bart,” I said to them as we made our way through the kitchen to the table.
“Cassandra,” Bart said. “Good to see you again.”
“You too,” I replied.
“I see Jason has been keeping you busy this week,” Trish said, sounding all too excited.
“Mom,” Jason said quietly to Trish as he put the game on the table. “Not now.”
“He’s been a great tour guide this week,” I told her.
“Good,” she said.
“Alright, let’s get this game started shall we?” Bart asked as he took a seat at the table.
I felt Jason come up behind me. “You’re in for a fun night,” he said so quietly only I could hear him. My arms and neck erupted in goose bumps. “You cold?” he whispered in my other ear. No, they’re from your soft sexy voice Jason… I thought to myself. “No, I’m good.”
I could see him smile as he walked by me. I had to get a grip.
“Have you played before?” Trish asked, bringing my thoughts back to the game.
“Yeah, all the time,” I lied
. I had never played Scrabble before, but honestly how hard could it be? I was really good with words and English; I had to be good at this too.
“You’re totally lying,” Jase said as he laid out the board on the table.
It didn’t matter; I was going to win this game. “Are you prepared to lose?” I asked him with full certainty that he would.
“I think you might have met your match son,” Bart said.
“Alright Sweetheart, let’s see what you’ve got,” he said as he passed out the letters to each of us.
I laid out my letters, and already had a word, it was small, but it would do. Trish started, then we were to continue clockwise, which meant Bart and Jason had to go before it was my turn. I watched as Trish put down her word and then Bart exchanged a couple of tiles. I wasn’t that familiar with the game, but it didn’t take long to catch on.
Jason bit down on his lower lip as he put his tiles down for his first word.
“A double word and that makes twenty two points for me.” He looked over, giving me a shrug with a slightly cocky grin. He wasn’t normally cocky about things, but I actually enjoyed seeing this side of him. He was more competitive than I thought.
Trish broke my thoughts to let me know that it was my turn.
“Hmm, I guess I’ll just have to play this word, which just so happens to tie me up with Jason.” I looked over at him after I was finished laying out my tiles for the word ‘MAKER’, giving me exactly twenty-two points. “I tried to tell you, Jason,” I said teasingly.
“It’s not over yet Sweetheart,” he said, batting those perfectly long eyelashes over his green gems.
“Not even close,” I whispered to him as Trish took her turn.
So, this is what a family night felt like. It was more than refreshing to see parents like this, parents who showed affection and who had fun with their kid. I would have never guessed a night of Scrabble would have been just the ticket for a fun evening. Normally family nights for me were awkward and uncomfortable, especially the older I got. Now I realized what I’d really been missing. It made me sad, but also happy that I had the chance to experience it, even if it was only for this one time.
The game continued for over an hour. Bart was the first one out, Trish followed him, leaving Jase and me to finish for the winning spot. This was a true cowboy showdown, or so Bart told me. You’d have thought this was a national contest on television as intent as they sat with their eyes on the board, waiting for Jase to make his move.
If I wasn’t able to connect my letters to his next word that he laid out, I would lose the game. I sat fidgeting with my hands on my lap as I waited impatiently for him to take his turn.
He finally put down his last letter and glanced over at me. ‘LUCKY’.
I could tell by the way he looked at me that there was more meaning behind the word than anyone could ever know. I felt the same way too, but right now, this time, I had to put my letters out for a win that Jason just made possible.
“Fourteen points, Jason,” Trish said, keeping score for us.
I started grinning ear to ear, knowing the word I was able to spell. He was either going to laugh or get pissed, and if I knew him as well as I thought I did, he was going to do exactly what my word spelled out.
I laid out all my letters, spelling the word ‘BLUSH’. I sat back in my chair after I finished placing all the tiles. I looked over at Jason immediately.
“Seriously?” he asked, shaking his head as his cheeks started to turn that color of red that I loved seeing.
“Oh you better believe it. I couldn’t have worked it out more perfectly if I had planned it myself,” I said.
Trish and Bart were now laughing hysterically along with us.
Trish lifted her head up after putting the score down even though I already knew my numbers. I was unfortunately too good at adding in my head. “Our new winner is Cassandra,” she gushed.
“What? That’s impossible,” Jason said as he grabbed the score sheet.
“Read it and weep mister. Triple word and my H landed on a double letter score. Correct me if I’m wrong but that puts me twenty-four points over you. I win, I win!” I realized after saying it out loud.
“WOOHOO!” I screamed. I might have also done a little dance as I got up from my chair, cheering myself on. I looked over at Trish and Bart who were still in hysterics at my word and for my pure enthusiasm for winning. It had been awhile, but I finally did something without failing. Baby steps, Cassandra, baby steps. I couldn’t help but giggle at myself. I had just compared not failing at life to winning at Scrabble. I really must have been getting too much fresh air this past week. I sat back down before I took my excitement any further.
Jason sat forward in his chair with a sexy look on his face, not at all the face of a loser. That was probably because he was not even close to being one. He was winning me over every day.
“I’ll let you have this win, but only because,” he paused as he leaned over closer to me, “you look so happy right now and I like seeing you like this.”
“Or, how about because I actually really did win,” I said, leaning in closer to him. “I also am really happy right now.”
He shot me another grin before getting up from his chair.
“I don’t think I’ve ever had that much fun playing a board game before,” I told Trish and Bart as we started cleaning the table up.
“We play once a week, but never has it been this competitive or exciting,” she said.
We finished cleaning up our board game, putting the tiles in the bag they came in and the board back in the box.
“Okay who’s ready for some dinner? I was thinking of grilling tonight.” Bart announced as he grabbed a pack of chicken out of the refrigerator.
“Sounds good Dad,” Jason said. He made his way closer to me. “That okay with you, Cassie?”
As much as I loved home cooked meals now, I was just too exhausted to stay up any longer. I had a hunch because of the pregnancy that I was starting to feel more tired than usual. “I think I’ll pass, I’m actually really tired and was going to head to bed.”
Trish came up to me as though she was trying to keep it between us. “Are you sure Sweetie? You really should eat something. Do you feel sick? Do you want a pack of crackers?”
She was too kind. “I have a pack in my room. I think I just had too much fun for one day,” I told her.
She nodded her head and went back into the kitchen.
Jason had a worrisome look in his eyes as he made his way over to me, making my stomach feel guilty for lying to him. I knew I had to do as Mel said and give him the chance to respond in his own way, but I was just too afraid. I was protecting my feelings from being hurt beyond repair.
“Night Bart, night Trish,” I hollered over to them as they started preparing dinner.
“Hey I have somewhere to take you tomorrow.” He nudged his head toward me.
“Where to?” I asked.
“Moose wants me to bring you in to see your car.”
I wasn’t ready for my car to be done yet. I couldn’t place the feeling, but I wanted more time with this man standing in front of me. I wanted to see what these tingles and goose bumps really meant. I just needed more time. I never thought I would say that, as much of a hurry as I was to get away from my life or from Keaton, but my heart was telling me to stay. Mel could tell there was something going on, but I needed to know if he did too.
“You don’t seem happy about that?” he asked, inching closer toward me. “We don’t have to go look at it. I mean it might be hard for you since it’s not done yet, the parts just came in.”
And exhale. I looked up at him. “No, we can go. That would be good. Well maybe not good to see the way it is, but to see it progressing, I guess is what I meant,” I said, stumbling over my words.
He shook his head and chuckled. “You sure you’re alright?”
“Yeah I’m just really tired, I will probably be asleep the minute my head hits the pillow.
”
“Do you want me to keep you company?” he asked, his eyes looking me over as though he was looking for signs of illness.
Yes. I do want you to stay.
“As much as I would like that I don’t think I’ll be much company.”
“Get some sleep then. Night Cassie,” he said quietly.
“Night Jase,” I said to him, mirroring his tone. He lingered, his lips parting open. He looked like he wanted to say something else but he didn’t. He shut his mouth and left.
As I got into bed, the only thing I could think about was Jase and the tingles he gave me. One I hadn’t ever experienced before and goose bumps that weren’t because of being cold. I suddenly smiled as I thought about how it was good to have these feelings.
Nineteen
THE NEXT DAY WE WALKED into the garage and it was nothing like I was expecting. It wasn’t like the shops back in Denver, but it certainly wasn’t awful like I envisioned and I was glad for that.
A sudden gasp left my mouth as I saw my car sitting there. “Oh my God! She looks terrible,” I said, pointing to it in disbelief.
“Well you did do a number on it, Cassandra,” Moose said as he rolled out from underneath the car sitting next to mine.
“I know, but I wasn’t expecting to see this. It’s been a week and she still looks so...” I paused, trying to find the right word.
“Rough?” Moose suggested as he came walking over to us in greasy coveralls and a baseball cap.
Rough was exactly the perfect word.
“I think you were so shaken up from your accident you didn’t realize the shape your car was in. Now you see why I wanted you to go to the hospital to get checked out,” Jase said as he stood next to me, both of us taking in the shape of the metal before us.
“I definitely get it now.” I hadn’t understood the severity of the situation before, but I did now.
Moose walked over to the front left of the car, pointing to various places explaining to me in gibberish what he had already done and what was still left to do. “We had to pull the door off. The windshield will have to be replaced. We also had to pull your hood off, your front bumper, the left fender, and that don’t even cover the frame damage underneath, the radiator, the radiator core support, the alignment it will need, or the tire and wheel that will have to be replaced too,” he finished.