by B. A. Wolfe
Before she could answer, there was a brief knock on the door and the doctor who administered her tests today entered—the same doctor who performed Jason’s last surgery. If the procedure was a go, he would be the surgeon for the transplant as well.
My body grew numb and my mind foggy as the doctor stood before us. His expression seemed calm, yet unreadable. My thoughts battled with themselves. Be a match. Don’t be a match. What-ifs circled my mind and I needed an answer from him before I lost it or even worse, passed out.
“Well . . .” the doctor paused for what felt like hours. For fuck’s sake, just get on with it. My fingers gripped Cassie’s so tight, both of us could lose circulation. “You’re a match for Bart, Cassandra.”
Damn it. My eyes closed, my stomach tightened and my hand gripped Cassie’s with all that I had.
“We’ll set a date for the surgery, Cassandra, if you still want to go forth.”
My eyes shot open. She could still back out. Her golden eyes traveled to the door my parents sat behind. God, they needed this. My family needed this. But I needed her. Her eyes found mine moments later. I couldn’t help but smile at the sight of her. Lines formed around her eyes, her lips spreading wide. “Yes, I’m ready to do this, Dr. Mathews.”
His aged face grinned and my heart broke.
“Please don’t do this,” I muttered.
Her thumb rubbed across my fingers. “I’m doing it for your dad, for your family. Please. Let me.”
“I know why. I do. And for that I can’t thank you enough. But damn it, Cassie. I just got you back. I-I can’t lose you again.” My voice trailed off, making the last bit of what I said barely audible.
“You’re not going to lose me. Everything’s going to be okay.”
I knew it would be. I’d been through the same damn surgery myself. I remembered being in this same spot at the age of nineteen. Fear had traveled through my young self as we waited for doctor to give us the results. I recalled praying, hoping that I was a match for my brother. I didn’t give two shits about the surgery. I just wanted my brother to be given the same shot at life that I was.
“It’s a procedure they do every day,” she added in her sweet voice.
She was right; they did. But this was different. This was Cassie. My heart and soul, and I’d be damned if something happened to her. Cassie’s hopeful eyes peered into my less than agreeable ones and she smiled. “Let’s go tell your parents the good news.” She grabbed my numb hand and tugged me behind her.
My parents hugged Cassie. Their hopeful faces were relieved and thankful. God, deep down I was too; I just wished it were anyone but Cassie.
My dad held Cassie by her shoulders an arm length away. “I know now why we never had a daughter, Cassandra.” His voice grew shaky. “It was always supposed to be you who came into our lives.” A loud sob escaped her, and my mother’s arm wrapped around me. I hugged her back, letting the few tears that escaped the corners of my eyes roll down my cheeks. Nothing I could say would stop her. The surgery was a go.
Jase cooed in his car seat on the floor beside my mother. I unhooked him and cradled him to my chest, then whispered a silent prayer, holding Cassie’s precious son tight in my arms. Please don’t take away his mother. Please don’t take away the love of my life.
Jason, help me.
Forty-Seven
Cassandra
“ARE YOU SURE ABOUT this? I mean really sure?” Mel asked as she stacked a few of my folded shirts into my luggage.
It was the night before the kidney transplant and between her and Aidan, I wasn’t sure who was more on edge.
A nervous laugh escaped me as I folded sweat pants. “I’m sure.” The most selfless thing a person could give was a piece of themself. I understood why Aidan was so quick to do it. Not just because Jase was his brother, but because he could do it.
I had decided to stay in Keaton after the transplant and Aidan said he wasn’t leaving my side. He would stay wherever I was to help with baby Jase and myself. He’d never know how grateful I was for that. Trish, Moose, and Mel would be there to lend a hand as well.
A single thought occurred to me as I ran through the list of all the people helping, and the people who weren’t . . . namely my parents. Their daughter was about to undergo major surgery and they didn’t have a clue. Their perfect lives would continue without as much as a second thought about their daughter. The other part of me knew that family didn’t need to consist of matching DNA. As far as I was concerned, my hands were washed clean of my parents.
I’d be out for four to six weeks, or even longer depending on how the surgery went. Winter break and finals were fast approaching and I’d probably miss them, but my professors were very understanding. They gave me a chance to bust my ass and turn in work ahead of time. My boss Shelly said she’d give me time off until I decided it was okay to work again. Since I worked from home, I’d be able to begin sooner rather than later.
My ducks were all in a row. Everything but Aidan. He was expected to be in Dallas within a week. That was the original plan, but once he spoke with the school there and explained what was going on, they agreed to give him a few extra weeks. He still didn’t talk about it, though. His stubborn ass said we needed to focus on getting over this hurdle first. Something inside told me he wanted to go, but was holding off telling me until after I recovered. My heart wanted to be with him, but my body wanted to remain in Colorado. Keaton, to be exact.
“How’s it coming in here?” Aidan wore a nervous grin as he leaned against the door frame.
“Great!” Mel answered. She placed the last folded night shirt in my bag. “Cass has enough stretchy pants to last her a lifetime.”
“Don’t forget the oversized sweaters and fuzzy socks,” I added, trying to make light of the situation.
Aidan sucked in a deep breath and stalked toward me. “As long as you’re comfortable, that’s all that matters.” His arms snaked around my waist and pulled me against his chest.
“That’s my cue. I’m out of here before you two make me sick with all that mushy love crap.” Mel flashed me a wink and then shut the door behind her as she left.
With a soft giggle, I relaxed into his hold. “Is Jase still sleeping?”
“Like a baby,” he said with a smirk. “Are you done packing?”
My eyes drifted to the floor. “Yeah.”
A finger hooked under my chin, lifting it until my eyes met his. “Hey. Talk to me.”
I swallowed back the lump in my tight throat. “It finally feels real. Putting things in my bag, knowing I’m not coming back to my apartment for a while. The butterflies are having a heyday in my stomach.”
A soft smile replaced his once anxious one. “It’s okay to be nervous.”
“It’s not, though. I have to be strong. We can’t all be nervous.”
“If you weren’t nervous, I’d be worried. Surgery’s a big deal. Can I tell you a secret?”
“Yes.” My heart palpitated with anticipation.
Aidan took my hand and planted a tender kiss to the middle of my palm. A soft whimper escaped me. “I’ll be with you the whole day. Even when you’re in surgery, I’ll be in with you. In here—” He pressed his lips to my chest over my beating heart. “And here—” His lips kissed my forehead. “Don’t be afraid. I’m always with you, even when you think I’m not.”
A single tear escaped the corner of my eye. It created a path down my cheek all to be swiped away by the pad of Aidan’s thumb. “I don’t want you to be scared. Give me all your worries. Let me be nervous for both of us. Just let them go, Sweet Tea.”
I couldn’t hold back the rest of the tears. I closed my eyes and without warning or notice, his lips claimed mine. Instantly, I felt myself giving him all of my fears, my worries, my doubts. He was right. He went everywhere I did. My heart held him and my mind never stopped thinking about him.
I hooked my arms around his neck, bringing him closer against me. Our kiss ended but he still continued to hold me. Moments later, he r
eleased me and told me to sit on the bed. Curiously, I sat and waited for him as he stalked off toward my dresser. He returned carrying a shirt from a drawer he used. With gentle hands, he stripped me down like a child and placed his shirt over my raised arms, letting it slide down my body. “I love you in my clothes,” he murmured.
I lifted the blankets and snuggled into my bed. He turned the lights off, undressed to his boxers and within seconds was by my side. I grazed my fingers along his cheek as we faced one another.
“What’s going to happen tomorrow?” I asked.
“The surgeon already went over this with us, remember?”
“I know,” I said with a small voice. “I want to hear it from you, though. Please?”
He drew in a long breath as he swept loose strands of hair from my face. I could tell by the way his features went from soft to hard, he wasn’t happy about going over it again, but I needed this.
“They’ll admit you and my dad into the hospital. You won’t share a room, but you’ll be on the same floor. You’ll be hooked up to an IV and get to wear one of those sexy hospital gowns.” He winked. “I’ll be sitting right next to you until they wheel you into the operating room.” His Adam’s apple bobbed as he gulped. I hated seeing him like this.
“Once you’re there, they’ll give you anesthesia. You won’t even remember falling asleep. While you’re out, they’ll make an incision on the side of your stomach. It’ll go from here—” he lifted my shirt and traced a line about five inches long down my side, my stomach contracting under his touch—”to here.” He drew an X at the end of his line.
A kiss. I smiled. “Let me see yours again.”
He lifted his shirt. A faint scar stared back at me from the same spot he touched on my skin. “It fades over time.”
“I can hardly see it.”
He lowered his shirt and caressed my face with his fingers. “Once you’re open, they’ll go in and remove the kidney from you. It’ll go straight to my dad, who will have it put inside him. The surgeon will then put you back together, take you to recovery where you’ll wake up, and then, my beautiful woman, they’ll take you to your hospital room, where I’ll be waiting for you.”
My smile couldn’t be any wider. “I can’t wait for that moment.”
He sucked in a sharp breath. “You and me both.”
My hand caressed his stomach, over his incision. “We’ll have matching scars.”
Pain swelled behind his eyes, but before I could reach for his face, his lips were kissing the part of my stomach where my incision would be. I brushed his hair back as his lips remained over my stomach. The kisses were protective, loving, and caring. Seconds later, he removed his mouth from my stomach and peered up at me with distressed eyes. “It will be a beautiful scar.” In silence, he returned to his spot in the bed and smoothed my shirt back over my tummy. “Let’s get some sleep. Tomorrow’s a big day.”
I nodded. “‘Night, Aidan.”
“Goodnight, beautiful.”
“I love you.” I inched up and positioned myself so my lips hovered over his.
“Have I told you how much I love hearing those words come out of that gorgeous mouth of yours?”
He had no clue how special he made me feel. I closed the distance between our mouths and pressed mine onto his. His hand moved to the back of my head, deepening the kiss. It wasn’t our last kiss, but I’d be damned if it didn’t feel like it as his tongue entered my mouth. A moan erupted from deep inside of me. I pressed against him, unable to get close enough. Minutes later, he ended the kiss and touched his lips to my forehead.
“I love you so much. I do,” he whispered against my skin.
A soft breath escaped me as his words sank into my heart. As long as he was by my side, I knew nothing could go wrong. I was safe in his arms. With those last words, I cuddled next to him and let myself drift into a deep sleep. Tomorrow would be a day that changed this family’s life.
***
Dan
Cassie . . . Cassie . . . No! Wake up! Come back to me . . . Please!
My body jolted upwards. I was covered in sweat, gasping for air. Everything around me was dark. Where in the hell was I? I gulped in a breath and gazed around. My hands tugged at something soft. It wasn’t the hospital tile underneath me; it was a sheet. I was in bed. In her bed. Thank God.
My chest continued to heave.
I turned my head and couldn’t believe my eyes as they soaked in the sight of her next to me. Her blonde hair was fanned out on the pillow and her small hand was curled near her face.
Nightmare. It was only a nightmare. I frantically scooted next to her, leaned against the headboard, and scooped her in my arms. She stirred and moaned as I held her. “Shhh. It’s just me.”
“‘Kay,” she mumbled back.
My mouth tasted of salty tears. It had felt so real. Her hand cold and limp in mine, her body lifeless on the bed. “Don’t go tomorrow,” I begged in her ear.
“Aidan . . .” Her voice was slow and tired, but her hand on my chest was meant to reassure. Shame slammed into me, gutting me and chasing away any remnants of my dream. I was here for Cassie, to comfort her. To be her courage. She had plenty to worry about already; she didn’t need to worry about me too. It was my job to protect her.
I tightened my arms around her and got comfortable. She’d be safe in my arms tonight. I’d hold her and watch her sleep the rest of the night. I pressed my lips to her head.
Jase, I need you to help me watch her tomorrow. I need you. Don’t let them take her away.
Forty-Eight
Cassandra
I PULLED THE BLANKET higher on me. My nose cringed every time I inhaled. Everything smelled so sterile, just as Aidan had warned me. I was lying in the hospital bed, hooked up to an IV and now I waited to be taken away for surgery. Aidan sat with a bouncing knee in a chair on the side of the room, his eyes were everywhere but my direction.
“Are you watching the clouds over there?” I grinned as I thought of the time when he caught me staring off, claiming to be watching the clouds. There wasn’t a cloud in the sky that day either. His sad eyes lifted and met mine.
Uh-oh. “What are you thinking about?”
“You don’t want to know.”
My stomach dropped. “Tell me.”
His jaw muscles worked overtime as he released a heavy sigh. “I’m thinking in about ten minutes I’m going to wheel your ass out of here and not let you go through with this. I’ll make them take my kidney instead.”
“Aidan, you only have one left.”
He dropped his head in hands yet again. “That’s what you mean to me. I’d give my last to make sure you’d be okay.” His voice was quiet.
“Don’t, Aidan,” I warned. I already had to battle my own set of nerves; watching him freak out wasn’t helping. “Let’s do anything but worry right now. Let’s play five for five. Ladies first, right?”
He lifted his head slightly. “Beautiful, I can’t play a game right now.”
“I don’t care. We’re playing.” His brows arched at my words. “What’s the last book you read?”
Moving back into a sitting position, he smirked. “Yours.”
I’m sure. “Give me a line from it, then.”
He shifted in the chair. “I wanted someone to tell me life wasn’t ending, and that everything would be okay.”
I remembered that quote as if I had just written it. I sniffled. “Life’s not ending, it’s only just started. Everything is going to be more than okay. It’s going to be great.”
“Because in the end, everything will be okay. It has to be.” By the end of his sentence, a small smile played on his lips. It was another quote from my book, a special one from Jase.
“No more worrying okay?”
He nodded. A tap at the door broke our stare. Mel stood with a pathetic smile stretched across her face. “Can I have a minute with her?”
“Of course.” He rose from the chair, closed the distance between us, a
nd placed a soft kiss on my forehead. “I’ll be back.”
Mel took his seat and dropped her chin to her chest.
“I’ve never seen you this upset.”
A loud breath escaped her. “I’ve never had a friend go into surgery before.” She lifted her head. “Forgive me if I’m not taking it so well.”
“I need you to do me a favor, Mel.”
“I can’t handle sad shit right now, Cass. I can’t.” Tears swelled in her eyes.
“Please?” I begged. Her eyes shut tight as she nodded. “Come here,” I told her, patting the spot beside me.
Without hesitation, she climbed on the bed and lay next to me. “Make sure that if something happens to me . . .” I paused as Mel seized my hand. “That Jase isn’t taken from this family.” Mel nodded slowly.
“One last thing. You have to be there for Aidan. In my heart, I know I’m doing the right thing, but if something happens to me . . . I don’t know what will happen to Aidan, Mel. He’ll be so alone and I don’t want him to be. You have to keep him afloat. Make sure you tell Moose too. You both have to keep him together.” I let the tears pour out as I held onto her.
“I promise, Cass,” she cried.
“He’s being so brave today, Mel. If I don’t make it out of this, I can’t even think of what’ll happen to him. I feel so torn about what I’m doing.”
“You’re doing the most selfless thing a person can do. He knows that. He did it once too. I’ll watch him. I promise.”
“Thank you.”
“Bad time?” Moose’s voice broke our hug.
“Can’t you tell we’re having a moment here?” Mel asked in a teasing voice.
A small smile broke across his face. “I can come back,” he said, turning around.
“No. It’s okay. You can stay and cry with her next.” Mel laughed and scooted off the bed. She wrapped her arms around me and whispered she loved me. I fought the tears that threatened and told her I loved her.
“Thank you, Mel,” I shouted as she reached the door. Warmth spread across her once-sorrowful features. “You’re welcome, mama.” Those were her final words before she left.