by B. A. Wolfe
I smiled when I saw her. Just like the day I met her, I noticed her hair first. She was facing the tree, her long blonde hair falling down her back. She was wearing her favorite dark blue dress which only made her eyes appear more beautiful.
She didn’t hear me come up behind her so, with a sneaky grin on my face, I snaked my arms around her waist and pulled her to me. Her back settled against my chest and she released a deep breath.
“We’re really doing this?” she asked, hope coating her voice.
My smile deepened. “We’re really doing it, Sweetheart.”
“I love it when you call me that.”
I did too.
Our first year together I had bought her a box of Sweetheart candies for Valentine’s Day. I took her to the diner for dinner and instead of giving her the box, I made a sentence out of the candies over the table. Something like she was mine forever. Sam ate them up and then leaned across the table and kissed me. She tasted like the candies. Ever since then I called her my sweetheart.
I’ll never forget when Mom heard it though. . . She said that’s what Uncle Jase used to call her. She looked sad but told me it was a happy sad.
I knew all about Jason, my mom, and my dad. Their love story was a legend in this town. I had a lot to live up to.
I let Sam go and pulled the knife from my front pocket. Sam circled the tree and found us the perfect spot. It was right underneath my mom’s C and my dad’s A.
I etched a big heart and then a J and an S inside of it. I wiped the shavings from the bark and tucked my knife back in my pocket.
Tears coated Sam’s eyes and she covered the heart with her hand. I kissed the top of her knuckles and then laced her fingers in mine and held it to my chest. “Forever now.”
“Forever,” she repeated, her eyes drifting toward the grass.
I swore if she didn’t look at me I’d lose it. I wanted to stare into her eyes for the last few minutes we had. Who knew when I’d get to see her again? ”I’m up here, Sam.”
“If I look at you, I’ll cry, Jase.”
Throat tightening.
So there we stayed, our hands locked together between our hearts. Sam staring at the grass and me staring at her. Time flew because it felt like only seconds later that my dad’s truck drove up beside us.
My lungs suddenly forgot how to work. I tried to fill them with air but my chest was caving in. “It’s . . . time,” I murmured.
“I know.” Her voice cracked. My heart ached worse. We pulled back from each other a bit and she looked at me. I finally got the breath I needed.
“I’ll come visit you,” she promised and before I could say anything, sobs broke from her mouth.
“Don’t cry. Please,” I begged. I couldn’t take it. I’d drag her in the truck with me and make her go to college at CSU.
“I’m sorry, I’ll just miss you so much, Jase. For the past two years, not a single day has gone by that I haven’t seen you.”
I tilted my head and kissed her cheeks, catching the tears with my lips. “It’s only four years.”
“You’re right,” she paused and stole a shaky breath. “It’ll be fast,” Sam told me, but we both knew it was a lie.
“I have to do this,” I added, hoping to make some sense of my decision. I was young, I had to build my future. That meant college and football for the next few years. That meant doing what my dad didn’t get a chance to.
“I’d be mad if you didn’t.” The tone of her voice told me she was serious.
Sam always supported me. She never missed a game, a family Sunday dinner, or a moment to tell me she was proud of me. It still didn’t help ease the pained expression she wore.
“But you’re going to be sad if I do.” I was sad if I did.
Her brows pulled together and she inhaled deeply. “Yes, I’m sad okay? I love you Jase Bradley. I love when you kiss me and when you hold my hand so tight it goes numb because you know how much I hate a loose grip. I love when you call me sweetheart and I love more than anything the way you look at me.” My whole body went numb. “I’m sad, because I don’t want to see your back when you walk away. I’m proud of you, but this is hard when the guy you love and spend every day with is suddenly not going to be just a mile away anymore.”
This changed everything.
“I can’t do this.” I let my head drop and rest on her forehead. “I can’t leave you.”
“I’m sad, Jase. But I’m not gonna let you give up your dream. If we’re meant to be you’ll come back to me. We’ll find a way. Just like you’re mom and dad.”
“We’re leaving this in fates hands?”
“I guess so.”
Without questioning, I stole a kiss. I stole a minute. I stole a memory.
Our lips connected and my heart for the first time all week, beat like it was normal again. We kissed like it was our first kiss, like it was the best day of my life, like it was all going to be okay.
After one last peck to her lips I whispered in her ear, “I love you too, Sweetheart.”
She sucked in a sharp breath and her mouth quivered.
“You ready, son?” My dad’s voice came up behind us. The hair on my neck stood on edge. I wasn’t ready to let go.
But we had no choice. We broke our hold and stepped back from each other.
My jaw clenched but I had one more thing to say, “Don’t go gettin’ married without me okay?” It’d break my heart . . .
She forced the tears from her face with the back of her hands. “You either.”
I shook my head. “Never.”
She sniffled and nodded. “Let’s turn around at the same time.”
I knew she didn’t want to see me walk away, and I knew with everything I was I couldn’t let her watch me walk away.
“Okay,” I agreed.
“On the count of three we’ll both say ‘see you soon’ and then turn around and leave.”
“Deal.” My heart pounded as she clamped her hands together in front of her. “One,” I said. I’d remember her pretty oval face and those baby blues that always said they loved me before her lips did. “Two.” I’d miss those tiny hands in mine. “Three.” I’d miss her sweet voice.
“See you soon,” she whispered and I shook my head causing her to pause for a beat.
“See you every day in my heart,” I answered, patting my chest.
We both turned on our feet. Her cries echoed behind me, slowly killing me with each step I took away from her.
I sat in the back seat of the Ford, my dad driving, my mom holding his hand as she stared out the passenger window, sniffling.
“You’ll have a mail box at school son. She can write you,” My dad said, and my mom sniffled louder.
“Dad, there’s this thing called the phone.” I took my cell out of my pocket and stared at the blank screen. Nothing. I put my phone back in my pocket.
I crushed her.
Hell, I crushed me.
My elbows rested on my knees and I dropped my head into my hands.
What in the hell did I just do?
I told her I loved her and I just left her. I glanced up as if it just hit me. I. Loved. Her. It wasn’t a question. I knew.
“Stop! Stop the truck,” I yelled.
The truck came to an abrupt stop and two concerned sets of eyes were dead set on me. “What? What’s going on? You forget something?” Mom asked in a panic. Her teary-eyed gaze ping-ponged between me and my dad. He shrugged and I nodded.
“Yeah, I forgot something. A big something.”
“Okay, we’ll go back and get it.”
I laughed at his words. “I don’t want to leave. I want to stay. I don’t want to go to CSU and play football. I want to go someplace close to home. I want to see Sam everyday. God, I love her. I know this now.”
I gripped the edge of the seat, preparing for a lecture of a lifetime from my parents. But it never came. Mom’s eyes crinkled as she smiled and Dad grinned as he looked at my mom.
“I have to
go back. I’m sorry. I don’t want to let you guys down, but I’m a small town guy. I want to be with my girlfriend. This is where I’m meant to be.”
Dad’s eyes found mine and his grinned widened. “Life is about the memories that shine brighter than Friday Night Lights, son. I’m proud of you no matter what you do, but right now I’m proud that you made this decision for you.” He flashed a wink. “Looks like you found the answer to your question.”
“Thanks, Dad. I’ll meet you guys at home.” I opened the door to the truck and I ran. I pushed my legs harder with every thought I had of Sam.
This wasn’t the end. My life wasn’t just about me. It was about everyone around me. And maybe I was young and dumb, but my heart was happy when I was with her. She was it. She was the one worth taking this big risk.
I skidded to a stop when I saw her crouched next to the tree, her shoulders bobbing. I made her cry. Never again.
“Sam!”
Her shoulders froze and her neck twisted toward me. Her red eyes locked on mine and she bit down on her lip as she jumped to her feet. The next few seconds were a blur. All I remember was catching her in my arms and her head tucking into my neck. I never wanted to let go.
“What are you doing? You have to go! You promised you’d turn and leave. I can’t say goodbye again.”
I smiled. “Then don’t.”
She sniffled and lifted her head, glancing up at me. “What?”
“I’m not leaving. I can’t. This is what I want. This, right here, right now. I don’t want to play for college or the NFL.”
“You’re crazy!” Tears still flowed as she giggled. “But I like crazy.”
“I love crazy,” I said. I didn’t care what I was as long as I was with her. “I don’t know what life’s gonna have in store for us. But I’d kick myself if I didn’t try. Life isn’t anything if you’re here and I’m there and we don’t get to make memories together.” Her smile was worth the decision I had just made. “What do you say? You ready to do this?”
“I was ready the moment you caught me in your arms.”
“I think coaching is definitely in my future.”
Sam kissed my cheek and then my lips and I wasn’t going to make her stop. This was it. My life was just beginning and I was ready.
They say you’ll know when you’re in love. Dad was right, getting here was the hard part, but falling, that was easy.
The End.
About the Author
B.A. WOLFE IS A girl with a passion for reading and writing, and lives in the good ol’ state of Colorado with her husband (her biggest cheerleader), and her two crazy min pin fur babies. These days, her life is anything but calm, and there isn’t one thing she’d want to change. B.A. spends all her free time either furiously typing stories on her laptop or happily reading through her endless TBR on her Kindle. Her list of favorites would be long enough to fill a book, but most would likely fall under the romance category. She is a sucker for a good love story that makes her cry, and an amazing book boyfriend who will melt her heart.