Feeling the tears welling in my eyes, I took the couple of steps back up to my aunt and gave her a hug. Her face, so much like my mom’s, yet different, had been a constant reminder of what I’d lost. At first that resemblance had been difficult for me, but I knew I’d never have been able to survive without her gentle care and unconditional love.
“Thanks, Aunt Rachelle. I love you, and thank you for being here for me.”
Squeezing me harder, she whispered so softly, I could barely hear it: “I love you too.” As I turned away, I could see a tear as it slid down her cheek.
~ Savannah ~
I walked through the McKenna house and noticed Collin’s cell phone charging on the counter. I knew no one was around, and I stepped carefully to it, listening for anyone approaching. Picking up the phone, I saw the text from Bailey. With only two nights left here, I was determined not to lose another night where Collin was out with Bailey. Glancing around to make sure I was still alone, I quickly sent a text to Bailey.
change in plans, not sure when I’ll be free. I’ll text u later
I didn’t have to wait long until a message came back. I smiled as I read the reply:
ok just let me know
I deleted the last two texts and unplugged the charger from the wall, leaving the cord attached to the phone. Walking quickly away, I felt amazingly better.
~ Collin ~
I was sitting on the front porch swing with Savannah; we had been hanging out most of the day talking about old times. It was a nice change of pace. I’d always had a connection with Savannah, but for me it was just friendship. My mind drifted to some of the things Bailey had mentioned that day at the beach about Savannah wanting more than friendship from me. I was sure Bailey was just reading into things. Looking at Savannah, all I could see was my childhood friend, someone who was like a sister to me. Savannah would never be more than a friend; my heart belonged to another.
My mind was never far from Bailey, and I wondered why she hadn’t texted me yet, but I brushed it off. I was sure Eileen must have been running late, but even then Bailey usually would let me know; this just wasn’t like her. Absently, I felt Savannah’s arm brush against mine. Her touch didn’t scorch me like Bailey’s did. I could feel my phone in my pocket and willed it to ring or signal a text.
I tried to focus on the story that Savannah was retelling. It was another one of our crazy adventures when we’d been kids. I had totally forgotten about this particular escapade. I laughed as I sifted details from my memory; we were always getting into some sort of trouble. I looked over at Savannah, and something in her gaze made me uneasy. In that instant, I felt that Bailey just might be right. There was a different sparkle in Savannah’s eyes I’d never noticed before. Her cheeks were flushed a slight pink, and she had moved closer to me. I was usually more aware of girls’ reactions, and I was kicking myself for not picking up on this sooner. I hadn’t been paying enough attention, and now I realized Savannah’s face was just inches from mine. She put her hand on my cheek and leaned in closer, her lips brushing mine. The kiss stirred no feeling in me; it was like I was kissing my sister. As I was pushing her away, I caught movement in the corner of my eye that made my heart sink.
~ Bailey ~
Pacing my room, I wondered why Collin wasn’t returning my texts or calls. I had been home for over two hours now. Now that I thought about it, after this morning’s texts, I hadn’t heard from Collin all day. Since I’d been busy baby-sitting Riley, it wasn’t unusual not to hear from him, but having him not return my calls or texts though was just weird. Picking up my phone, I dialed his number, but again it went to voice mail. Hanging up, I tossed the phone back onto the bed. I had already left two messages. A sickening fear washed through me and my heart started to beat faster. He could be hurt, or he could be with Savannah. Both of those options made me violently ill. It felt like my stomach had just shot up to my throat. I couldn’t stay here any longer waiting, wondering. I grabbed my keys off the desk and decided I was going over to Collin’s house.
The short drive seemed to take ages. My mind flipped through so many scenarios; none of them were good, and my imagination was running wild now. I pulled my car up to the curb, and there on the front porch swing were Collin and Savannah, sitting far too close for my comfort. Immediately the anger, the feeling of betrayal, burned inside of me My heart was beating so fast it felt like it would explode out of my chest. I sat there for a minute trying to understand how Collin could do this to me. Before I really knew what I was going to do, I was striding up the sidewalk, my anger stronger with every footstep. They seemed oblivious to my approach; Collin’s back was to me, so he didn’t see me. I reached the front yard just as they kissed. I could feel my arms shaking with a violence I had never felt before. I wanted to rip Savannah into tiny pieces.
“Sorry to interrupt. Guess if you’d had the decency to return my phone calls or texts I wouldn’t be here to bother you,” I spit out, the anger and hurt boiling inside of me.
Collin turned quickly toward me, shock evident on his face. He got up from the swing and was headed in my direction fast. “Bailey, wait. What are you talking about?”
“I’ve been home for over two hours waiting for you. I’ve called, I’ve texted, and you never responded.”
“I never got any phone calls or texts.”
“Yeah, whatever. I’ve seen enough. I’m not stupid. Go back to Savannah.” The words ripped from me with raw anguish. I turned quickly and started running back to my car, the tears already burning my eyes.
Reaching the safety of my car, I jumped in and quickly drove away, tears now flooding down my face. Collin was just a blurry image on the sidewalk as I sped away. Sobs were racking my body, and I tried to calm them, brushing the tears aside so I could see out the front windshield. Trying to focus on the road, I drove through the streets not knowing where I was going, only that I wasn’t going home. I needed to regroup, to think.
All that kept running through my head was why? Why would he lie about his feelings for Savannah? He should have just told me. It would have been hard and hurt badly, but at least it would have been honest. But the dragging it on, telling me that I was the only one, that he was falling for me, that’s what hurt me to the core.
Before I realized where I was going, I found myself at our special lookout. I pulled over and just sat there, my hands still gripping the steering wheel. I bent over and rested my head against the cold hard plastic between my hands. The tears were flowing unstoppable now.
I don’t know how long I sat there, my chest and my stomach aching from the crying. The haziness of the past two years was rapidly surrounding me. I could feel the numbness returning. How could I have been so dumb? Savannah and Collin had history, a lot of history, and she was so beautiful. Why wouldn’t he want her? It only made sense. I would never be able to compare to her. I stared out the front window of my car; some far corner of my brain noticed the breeze picking up outside. My thoughts drifted back to the many times I had been here with Collin: our first kiss; the shooting star; sharing our pasts, our fears, what we hoped our futures would bring. The memories only fueled a fresh round of tears.
~ Collin ~
I stood frozen on the sidewalk as Bailey’s car sped away. I was still completely baffled. What was she talking about, not returning her calls or texts? I felt for my phone and removed it from my pocket. Was it on silent? Was it off? It was then that I realized that my battery was completely dead. Looking up from the phone, I saw that Bailey’s car was already gone. Running to my Camaro, I jumped in and raced after her.
I drove by her house first, but her car wasn’t out front. I wasn’t sure where she was going, but since she wasn’t home, I had a pretty good idea where I might find her. It would have been where I would have gone to find some quiet.
Driving to the edge of town, I turned onto the road that would take me to the lookout. I had driven this street so many times that I knew every twist, every turn, every bump like the back
of my hand. Finally, the last turn brought her car in sight, and I could see her shadow in the driver’s seat.
Pulling my car behind hers, I cut the engine, stepped out, and quickly covered the few steps to her car. I could see her shoulders shaking and knew she was crying. Watching her like this shattered my heart.
Quietly I opened the door and crouched down so that I was at her eye level. Opening the door startled her. Bailey’s head turned, her usually light eyes dark and red-rimmed. Tears were still streaming down her cheeks. I couldn’t stand to see her so upset—all I wanted to do was take her in my arms and hold her.
~ Bailey ~
The movement as my door opened scared me so badly, the scream got caught in my throat. I hadn’t even heard another car approach, much less stop. I turned and was staring into the blue depths of Collin’s eyes.
“Bailey, sweetie, please stop crying. Nothing was going on.”
“Please, just leave me be. I know what I saw.” My voice was shaky; I could barely get the words out.
“Really? What exactly did you see?”
“The two of you on the porch swing engrossed in each other and kissing.”
“Bailey, we were sitting out there talking about old times, but that was it. She kissed me, it wasn’t the other way around.”
“But you still kissed her!”
“Yeah, my fault. I wasn’t paying attention because I was thinking of you. I didn’t realize until too late what she was intending. There was no feeling to it, honey. It was just a kiss like I’d give my sister.”
“On the lips? You really kiss your sister on the lips? I highly doubt that!”
“No, I wouldn’t kiss Lacey on the lips. What I meant was it didn’t mean anything. It was like a handshake, okay? It’s not like when I kiss you and I feel it burn all the way through me.”
“I’m sorry, but kissing means more to me than something casual. Watching you kiss her killed me, like a knife being stuck into my back.”
“Sweetie, I’m sorry, okay? I didn’t mean for that to happen. We were just sitting there talking. I was waiting for you to text me or call, wondering what was taking you so long.”
Looking into his eyes, I felt like I was drowning and he was throwing me a lifeline. I ached to grab on and believe him. Could it really have all been as simple as that? His fingers gently wiped the tears from my face.
“You were waiting for me to call you? But I did, several times. I texted you too. Why didn’t you ever answer them?”
He fished his phone out of his pocket and handed it to me.
“Battery is dead. I’m not sure how; I had it charging this morning. I was waiting for you. I was getting worried but just thought Eileen was working late.”
I looked at his phone still clutched in my hand and flipped it open. It was dead, completely dead. Relief flooded me as all the pieces fell into place. Collin was not ignoring my phone calls or texts; it was all a huge misunderstanding. But I was not pleased about him kissing Savannah. The visual of that still stung, and I wasn’t sure if I’d be able to get that horrible sight out of my head. His hands gently extracted mine from the steering wheel and pulled me out of the car. Once my feet hit the ground, he folded me tightly against his warm, strong chest. My head settled just above his heart. I could hear it beating strong and steady. Standing there in his embrace, the tears started again.
“I’m so...sssorry,” I stuttered.
“Ssshh, it’s okay, sweetie, it’s okay.” His hand stroked the top of my hair, brushing the tear-soaked strands away from my face.
Standing there in my own personal heaven, I was able to let go of my fear and the pain that had so utterly consumed me. I could feel him as he began to pull slowly away. His hands held my face firmly just a few inches from his, one hand on each of my cheeks. As I stared into his eyes, his gaze burned into my soul, melting me as I stood there. He leaned down to brush his lips against mine, lightly, tenderly, then deeper and stronger. I was lost in the tingling that flooded my body and shot through my limbs. Nothing mattered at this point but Collin. He pulled back gently, his hands still cradling the sides of my face.
“Bailey, sweetie, I love you. You have completely invaded my soul and consumed my heart. I have never felt like this with anyone before.”
“I love you too, Collin. I have felt so broken and you’ve healed my heart. I thought it would be broken forever, but you brought the joy of every day back to my world. You’ve given me something to look forward to again.”
My world had righted itself, and I leaned against Collin, relieved. I was a little ashamed that I had totally blown the whole situation out of proportion. Savannah’s presence had severely undermined my confidence. I felt so plain next to her and couldn’t wait until she was gone.
The laughter started then from deep inside me, a low rumble at first, then becoming full-blown hysterics. Collin looked warily at me, not sure what to make of this new turn of events.
“I’m sorry. Wow, I guess I acted like a crazy person, huh?”
Pulling me back against him, he chuckled a bit. “Well, maybe not a crazy person, but you sure scared the heck out of me.”
He leaned down, grabbed my keys out of the ignition, and then closed the door. With his arms wrapped around me, we walked over to our bench and sat down, watching as the lights came on in the valley below.
It was late when he walked me back to my car, kissing me goodnight. I didn’t want to leave him, but knew I needed to get home. I started my car and drove home under the blanket of stars.
~ Savannah ~
Sitting on the porch swing, I enjoyed the interchange between Bailey and Collin. This was even better than what I’d hoped for. I never really thought Bailey would show up, but the timing couldn’t have been better. I had just wanted to spend some one-on-one time with Collin, and with Bailey around, that wasn’t going to happen. Trying not to smile, I watched as Bailey drove away, but when Collin raced after her, my heart sank. I really didn’t understand how she could be so important to him! From what he’d told me, they’d only been going out for a few short weeks. It just didn’t make any sense.
Several hours later, I was lying in the bed that I was sharing with my sister, unable to fall asleep. For what seemed like the hundredth time, I glanced at the clock’s illuminated green numbers across the darkened room. One a.m., and still I hadn’t heard Collin’s car drive up. I could only hope that he hadn’t found Bailey and that he was just out driving around. The thought of Collin finding her and making up drove me to madness. In an attempt to stay sane for the moment, I was not going to think in that direction.
Finally I heard the rumble of his car coming down the street. Bolting out of bed, I went downstairs wearing only my skimpy satin short pajamas and matching cami top. I had just reached the bottom of the stairs when Collin entered the house, shutting the door behind him. He looked up as he entered the house; he seemed a bit surprised I was standing there.
“Savannah.” Collin’s voice was cool, almost icy.
“Hey, Collin, I’m glad you’re back okay. I’m sorry about Bailey. I can’t believe she’d overreact like that.”
I moved over to Collin and reached out to touch his arm in a comforting gesture. Collin shrugged my hand off of his arm, like he couldn’t bear my touch. I was offended but tried to keep my temper under control.
“Savannah, you’re a good friend, you always have been. We go way back, but let me be clear here. There is nothing going on between us. Not now, not ever, okay? You are like a sister to me, and that’s all it will ever be.”
I gasped but struggled to regain my composure and defuse the situation. I couldn’t believe he was so angry. “Collin, I have no idea what you are talking about. Of course I know we are just friends. What makes you think I want us to be more than friends?”
“I’m leaving it at that. You know exactly what I’m talking about.”
Collin brushed past me as he walked into the kitchen. I stood there in complete disbelief. It was not
supposed to be happening like this. I wasn’t giving up, though; I was just going to have to come up with a better plan.
~ Collin ~
Walking past Savannah, I was still upset with her games. I guess I couldn’t blame her for trying. Next time, though, I’d be paying more attention and not get caught off guard. I mean, this was totally not typical for me. It was very troubling that one little slip of a girl could cause me to be so oblivious to everything else around me.
Placing my dead cell phone on the counter, I plugged it into the charger, but nothing happened.
“What the heck?” I mumbled to myself. As I tugged on the charger cord, the plug ended up in my hand. That was odd; I knew for sure this morning it had been plugged in.
Once my phone got some juice, Bailey’s texts and voice mail messages came through. Reading through them and listening to her voice, I could almost feel her sense of urgency, as the texts got shorter and more abrupt. I was so sorry I had put her through that agony. All because of my damn phone battery. I’d learned one lesson, though. When my instincts were telling me something wasn’t right, I needed to follow through. All it would have taken was for me to have picked up the phone and tried to call Bailey when I felt something was off. I would have known right then that my phone wasn’t working. Electronics were great when they worked, but when they didn’t, they sure could cause serious issues.
* * *
The next morning, the kitchen was full when I came down for breakfast.
“Morning, Collin, have a seat. I have something exciting to share with you and Lacey.”
“What’s up, Dad?”
“We’re moving to Las Vegas right after your graduation.”
“We’re what? Dad, we can’t leave now, we just got settled here. I like it here, Lacey likes it here. Why? Why now?”
A Healing Heart Page 10