Michelle felt her stomach clench. After all that Madison had worked through in her teens—her issues with her body image, her feelings of being unpopular, and her disastrous relationship with Miles—she deserved to be happy. “I’ll try to talk to her,” she promised, slipping her hand into his as they began their end-of-the-day prayers together.
Madison was on the other side of their door listening to what had been said. Anxiety surged through her body. Her father was right, of course. No man wanted a wife who was always needing reassurance and bolstering up. Maybe she should be the one to call off the marriage, so Luke wouldn’t have to.
She could probably still return the dress. It hadn’t been altered or anything. And her parents didn’t seem to mind having her live here with them. She could take the job at Dr. Kramer’s office and save up money to get her own place. Plus, she’d be around to keep an eye on her brother and his search for his birthfather.
All hell could break loose when that happened. And she’d be here to be a buffer between her parents and Caleb.
Maybe this was God’s will all along. Having a long distance relationship with Luke had helped her have confidence to make it through nursing school. And he’d been able to focus on his studies, not on finding a wife or girlfriend.
Yeah. She’d talk to Luke and explain how it was better for both of them to hold off on getting married. Feeling sad, but somehow also relieved, she headed for bed. As she fell asleep, she drifted into a dream about her fiancé.
Luke arrived at their door, looking nervous. When Madison invited him inside, he turned and looked toward his car. Following his eyes, she could see a beautiful girl sitting in the passenger seat. The girl smiled and waved at Luke.
“Who’s that?” Madison asked.
“We need to talk,” he replied, pointing inside. “Can I come in?”
“Sure, yeah.” Madison stepped aside, and he walked past her into the living room. It looked different. A large, cavernous room with heavy brocade drapes, dark paneling, and crystal chandeliers. The air was cool, and Madison felt a chill. “Here, sit down,” she said, gesturing to the stiff, Victorian sofa facing the darkened window.
“I can’t stay,” Luke replied, remaining standing just inside the room. His expression was so business-like. No familiar warmth at all.
“Okay. Just say what you came to say,” Madison began. But before he could reply, she said, “No wait. Let me talk first.”
Luke glanced toward the front door and nodded.
“So, I’ve been thinking that we basically rushed into the whole idea of getting married. And, well, I think I need more time to figure things out.”
She could see his face relax. “Okay.”
“So let’s just call off the wedding for now,” she said. “I need to get a job and take care of my brother.” She’d suddenly become aware that only she and Caleb lived in this mansion.
“Yeah,” Luke replied. “That makes sense.”
“We can still be friends,” she offered.
“Okay. That’s good,” he replied.
The cool damp air hung heavy between them for a moment. Then Madison heard Caleb calling her name. “I’d better go,” she said.
“Yeah. Me, too.” Luke walked over to the door, turning and lifting his hand to wave goodbye before he headed out.
“Maddie, hey, wake up,” Caleb’s voice penetrated her sleep. Turning over in bed, she found herself in the comfort of her familiar room, her brother standing over her.
“What time is it?” she asked.
“It’s one-thirty.”
Madison struggled to focus. “In the morning?”
“What do you think, the middle of the afternoon?” he asked sarcastically.
She shook her head as if to shake off her dream. Then she sat up and leaned against the headboard. “What are you doing in here?”
“I think I found him,” he replied.
“Who?”
“My real dad.”
CHAPTER FOUR
“Check this out, Maddie,” Caleb said.
Madison leaned over the laptop and looked. It was a picture of a younger Amber on the front lawn of Magnolia Middle School with a guy sitting beside her.
“I found it by searching for yearbook pictures from Magnolia. Someone had posted the whole yearbook online. Pretty cool, huh?” he said with a grin.
“How do you know that is the guy you’re looking for?” Madison asked, peering closer at the photo.
“I just think it is. Doesn’t he kind of look like me?”
She studied the photograph closely. “Yeah. I guess.”
“The bummer is that there’s no name beside the picture. Not even Amber’s. It was just a random fill photo,” Caleb said.
“What are you two up to?” Michelle asked, as she poked her head into the room.
Caleb quickly shut the computer. “Nothing, Mom.” He looked over at Madison, shooting her a warning glance.
“Sorry we woke you up,” Madison added.
Michelle hesitated for a moment, and then said, “You guys need to get to bed.”
Maddie wandered through the house the next day, her stomach in knots. Luke would be arriving home anytime now, and she and her family were invited over for dinner to welcome him back.
“You’re wearing a path in the carpet,” her mother commented with a smile.
Madison glanced over and sighed. Sinking into the couch, she plopped her feet on the coffee table. “Why hasn’t he called yet?” she asked herself aloud.
“He’s probably not home,” Michelle replied. “I’m sure you’ll be the first one to hear.”
Madison nodded reluctantly. “Do you think we’re doing the right thing? I mean getting married right out of college like this?”
Michelle put down the catalog she’d been flipping through and looked Maddie in the eye. “Where did that come from?” she asked.
“What?”
“That question.” Her mother leaned forward in her chair and seemed to be studying her.
Madison’s heart began to pound. Why did I have to go and open my big mouth? she wondered. “Nothing.”
Her mother didn’t seem satisfied with her answer, eyebrows raised in a skeptical look.
Hedging, Madison added, “I was just thinking about how young we are and everything. Like maybe we should take a little more time to be sure.”
“So are you questioning whether or not you want to marry Luke? Because I thought you were gung ho to jump into marriage right out of high school.”
Madison sucked in the air around her. “I was. And I still am. It’s just…I don’t know…maybe it would be better if Luke had some time to kind of get settled into his career and everything…”
Michelle didn’t respond right away. Her penetrating stare was making Madison nervous. “Quit it, Mom.”
“Quit what?”
“Quit staring at me like that.”
Her mother sat back into her chair, resting her elbows on the armrests and steepling her hands together at the fingertips. “Has Luke been saying something that makes you think he’s not ready yet?” she asked.
Madison shifted uncomfortably. “No. Not really.”
“Not really? But kind of?” Michelle probed.
“I don’t know, Mom. He just seemed really distant when I talked to him on the phone. And he said that we needed to talk.” She paused and then added, “It sounded serious.”
“Okay, well, let’s not jump to conclusions, honey. I’m sure it’s not about the wedding. He’s probably just got a lot on his mind, trying to figure out plans for the future.”
“Yeah. Maybe,” she replied, wishing her voice sounded more convincing.
Just then Madison’s cell phone rang. Glancing at the screen, she saw Luke’s photo. “It’s him,” she said, standing up and walking out of the room.
“Madison? Are you ready?” she heard her mother call out from downstairs.
“Just a sec. Be right down,” she called back.
&
nbsp; Just then Caleb stuck his head in her room. “Come on, Mad. Let’s go. Lover boy is waiting,” he teased.
Madison picked up a shoe and threw it in his direction, watching it bounce off the door he’d closed just in time.
“Guess this is it, Lord,” she said softly, tossing her brush into her purse, making one final check in the mirror, and heading downstairs.
As their van pulled into the Johnson’s driveway, Madison could see Luke sitting on the top step of the porch talking to his sister, Lucy. He looked up and stood as they parked the car.
Madison’s insides were doing somersaults. She was excited to see him but suddenly felt overwhelmingly nervous at the same time.
Caleb bounded out of the car and gave Luke a high five. “Welcome home!” he said with a grin. “Hey, Luce, where’s Logan?”
“He’s out back helping Dad with the barbecue,” she replied as she pushed up from the stairs and waved at Madison.
Michelle and Steve both greeted Luke. Then Maddie saw her mother elbow her dad and point to the house. “We’ll be inside,” she said to no one in particular as she took a hold of Steve’s hand and started toward the front steps.
Luke came up to Madison and putting one hand on her shoulder, bent down and brushed his lips over hers. “Hi.”
“Hi,” she replied.
Lucy laughed from the porch. “I’ll see you two inside,” she said.
“So how was your flight?” Madison asked.
“Too long. It’s good to be home.” After a kiss, he draped his arm over her shoulders and gave her a little squeeze. “We should go inside. I think the dinner’s about ready.”
Madison felt nervous throughout the meal. It seemed like all Luke’s parents could talk about was the wedding plans. Every once in a while, Madison caught Luke staring at her. He looked so serious, although he would flash a smile when they made eye contact.
After dinner, Luke stood up and helped his sister clear the table. Then he came over, rested his hands on the back of Maddie’s chair, and leaned down close to her ear. “Let’s go for a walk,” he said softly.
She nodded and rose from the table.
“We’ll be back in a little while,” Luke said as he took her hand and led her to the front door.
“Everything okay?” Luke asked as they walked down the front porch steps.
“Yeah. Why?”
“I don’t know. You just seemed kind of quiet during dinner.”
“I did? I guess it’s all the wedding talk.” She hesitated, not sure how to put it, and then added, “It feels kind of surreal. Know what I mean?”
He laughed softly. “Yeah.”
They were almost to the street when Luke asked, “Wanna go down to the shore?”
Something about the beach always gave Madison a feeling of peace, like everything would be all right. “Sure. Sounds good.”
“Be right back!” Luke dropped her hand and sprinted toward the house, returning a minute later with keys in hand. “We’ll take Dad’s beater,” he said, pointing to an older truck parked at the curb.
Madison tried to picture her attorney father driving a vehicle like that. What a contrast to Pastor Ben. Both men were hardworking, but Luke’s dad’s rewards were definitely not monetary.
Ben seemed perfectly happy driving an old pickup with faded paint and evidence of having traveled a ton of miles, while her father zipped around in a sleek new BMW. She didn’t think the worse of her dad, but it made her realize her life with Luke would be very different from the one she’d had growing up. Not that she minded.
As she was about to slip into the passenger seat, she noticed a stack of papers on the seat, along with one of Lucy’s sweatshirts and a pair of tennis shoes on the floor.
“Dad doesn’t travel light,” Luke said apologetically, leaning over and grabbing the shoes and sweatshirt and tossing them into the back. He picked up the stack of papers. “Looks like some sermon notes,” he added, shaking his head. “Mom keeps telling him to get a briefcase or something.” Opening the back door, he placed them on the seat.
Then he gestured to the empty spot. “Okay, it’s all yours.”
She slipped in and they took off.
Pulling away from the curb, he patted the middle seat. “Scoot over, you,” he said. “There’s a perk to this old tank.”
Maddie smiled and slid across the bench seat. Luke’s body felt warm next to hers, and her heart soared as he draped his arm over her shoulder and pulled her close, kissing her head.
“I’ve really missed you, Maddie.”
“I missed you, too,” she replied, leaning her head into his shoulder. For a few moments, she was at peace. It felt so right being with him. Maybe everything would be okay. She really did want to marry him. “So have you decided about asking Caleb to be one of your groomsmen?” she asked.
“Let’s not talk about the wedding anymore tonight, okay?” he said, seeming to stiffen a little.
Madison’s heart sank. Fears and doubts rushed in to replace her brief moment of peace.
Caleb and Logan were shooting baskets out back. “So what are you doing this summer?” he asked Luke’s brother, who was two years older than Caleb.
“Work as many hours as I can get at the Coffee Stop. How ‘bout you?”
Although Caleb’s parents paid for Maddie’s college and would also pay for his, he knew the Johnsons couldn’t afford to foot the bill for all six of theirs. That meant full-time summer jobs. Seemed a shame to waste an entire vacation like that. Part time was one thing. But full-time ate up the entire summer. On the other hand, Caleb really respected Luke and Logan for how hard they worked.
Before he answered Logan’s question, Caleb weighed how much he should share. “Don’t know. I might go out to Arizona to see Amber,” he replied, wondering how his parents would respond to him visiting his birthmother.
As if reading his thoughts, Logan asked, “So does that freak out your mom and dad?”
“Nah. They’re cool about it,” he hedged. Taking careful aim, he lobbed the perfect swish into the basket.
“Nice one,” Logan said. “So your parents are totally cool about you visiting Amber.”
Caleb hesitated. Should I tell him what I’m doing? He paused and thought about it. What the heck. I can trust him. “Yeah. They let me stay in touch with her and they said I could go out there sometime. But they’d probably freak if they knew why I want to go now.”
Logan stopped bouncing the ball and turned to look at him. “Why? What’s up?”
“You can’t tell anyone, okay?”
“Fine. But I hope you aren’t planning to move out there or something dumb like that.”
“No. It’s nothing like that.” He knocked the ball out of Logan’s hand and bounced it over to the hoop, easily making another basket. “I’m trying to find my dad,” he said.
“Whoa. Seriously? I’m guessing that really would freak them out.”
“Yeah. So that’s why you can’t say anything. I mean it, Logan. Not to anyone.”
“No one else knows?”
“Only Mad. She promised she wouldn’t tell them.”
“Are you sure this is such a smart thing to do?” his friend asked.
“I need to know.”
“But why? You already have a great dad.”
Caleb shrugged. “Yeah, but it’s not the same. And lately things haven’t been so great between us. I mean sometimes it seems like he’s never satisfied with me.”
“I know what you mean. Dads are like that sometimes. They want their sons to be better than they were.”
Nodding, Caleb added, “Plus, it’s totally possible my real dad is still in Sandy Cove somewhere. It seems weird that I might see him at the beach or somewhere and not even know he’s my dad.”
“Yeah. That is kinda weird,” Logan agreed. “But I don’t know…I’d really think about this, Caleb. You might never find him, and you could really hurt your parents by trying.”
Madison and Luke stood at the
edge of the water hand in hand. The full moon lit the beach and reflected off the liquid horizon. “It’s a beautiful night,” Luke observed.
“Yeah.” Madison shivered slightly.
“Are you cold?”
“A little.”
Luke dropped her hand and wrapped his arms around her. As she pressed her head against his chest, she could hear his heart beating and a muffled, “I love you, Maddie.” She held him tight, suddenly feeling like she was going to cry. What’s the matter with me?
They stood clinging to each other for a few minutes, the sound of the waves breaking on the nearby rocks filling the air.
Then Luke pulled back and looked into her eyes. Without saying a word, he bent down and kissed her.
Madison melted and she felt a yearning that almost scared her. As Luke’s kiss deepened, she found herself pushing away.
The hurt in his eyes was clear. “What’s wrong?”
“I can’t do this,” she replied, a tear escaping her eye.
CHAPTER FIVE
Luke stared at her like he couldn’t believe his ears. “What do you mean you can’t do this?”
“I’m scared, Luke.”
“Of me?” he asked incredulously.
“Of us.” She looked like she was groping for words.
“Do you still love me?” he asked. She could see the muscles in his jaw tighten.
Madison sighed. “Yes.”
“Then what’s the problem?”
“It’s just that when we’re together like this, I get scared.”
He searched her face. “You know I’d never do anything to jeopardize our relationship, right? I’m not like Miles, Madison. You get that, right?”
Madison flashed back to Miles, her high school fling that had ended with her losing her virginity to a guy who had no problem taking off as soon as she put the brakes on their physical relationship. Ever since then, she’d wrestled with feelings of shame and regret.
Then on a short-term mission trip, Luke had surprised her with his own confession—his realization that he’d loved her for years. And that had started what Madison thought would be the fairytale ending to her story.
Above All Else (Sandy Cove Series Book 7) Page 3