by Bobbi Smith
James remained silent. It troubled him to realize that what his wife was saying was the truth. He sighed as he slipped an arm around Elizabeth and drew her against him. "You're right," he finally admitted. "She's growing up so quickly. I don't suppose there's any way to stop it, is there?"
Elizabeth gave a soft laugh as she lay her head on his shoulder. "No, dear, I'm afraid not."
"I didn't think so."
James kissed her. His love for Elizabeth had always been passionate, and the thought of being separated from her again for any length of time ate at him. The moment took on new and poignant meaning as they came together. His lovemaking was intense and powerful as he possessed her, taking her to the sweetness of ecstasy and beyond. They lay together in the aftermath of their loving, cherishing the intimacy and trying to avoid saying what needed to be said.
Finally, Elizabeth broke the silence. "I want Cari to have what we have," she told him gently, her left hand splayed across his chest, her gold wedding band gleaming in the soft light that shone through the window.
"I do, too," James agreed slowly, lifting her hand to his lips.
"There's so much she doesn't know . . . so much of the world she's never seen. I'll take her back to Philadelphia. We can live with my parents. She can go to school there. It'll be good for her to be with other girls her own age."
"How long, Elizabeth?" The question was strangled from him. "How long will you be gone?"
"You could come with us," she offered, hoping with all her heart that he would, and that once they were there, he would want to stay.
"I can't leave the ranch for any length of time. You know that."
She fought to keep the bitterness she felt out of her tone. "I don't know. Cari will need at least a few years in school."
"Years . . ." He said the words slowly, painfully. "Are you sure this is what she really needs?"
"What can we give her here, James?"
"We can give her love. We can teach her how to take care of herself and be independent. We can teach her the importance of working with her own hands to build something out of nothing. We can . . ."
"I'm talking about her future. She can't live with us forever. She's a beautiful young woman, and she will need to have the opportunity to meet young men. What kind of life will she have if she never gets to see the world? You love the ranch, because you've been other places and seen other things. Cari's never had that chance. We have to give it to her."
James knew Elizabeth was right, but it didn't make it any easier to accept the fact that they would be leaving and he would be alone. "How soon do you want to go?"
Elizabeth's victory was bittersweet. She pressed a tender kiss to her husband's lips. "I'll tell Cari in the morning, and if we start packing right away, we should be ready in a few days. Will you be all right?"
"I'll be fine," he lied, knowing he was going to be very lonely without their love and laughter surrounding him. "But I don't know about Cari." He knew his daughter would rebel at being forced to leave.
"I'm not going," Cari declared defiantly as she faced her mother across the kitchen table the following morning. She couldn't believe her mother would even suggest that they move back East, and her expression mirrored her disbelief.
"It's already been decided, Cari. You're going."
"I don't believe you! Papa wouldn't send me away like this!"
She turned her back on her mother and ran from the house to find her father.
"Carinne! Come back here!"
Her mother's call was useless, for Cari wasn't about to return until she'd talked to her father.
"Papa!" she cried as she burst into the stable to find him tending the horses.
James had feared that his headstrong offspring would be furious over Elizabeth's plan, and as he watched her come charging toward him, her face flushed with anger, he knew his fears had been justified. "Yes, Cari?"
"You and Mother can't be serious! You don't really want me to go back East to live, do you?" Her blue-eyed gaze was imploring as she looked up at him. She was desperate for a reprieve from the fate that seemed worse than death. She loved ranch life. She didn't want to leave her father and her home to go to Philadelphia. She didn't care about school or parties or ballgowns or boys. She wanted to stay on the ranch and ride and spend time with Silver Wolf.
It took all of James's willpower to answer her sternly. "Your mother and I discussed it last night, and we've decided it's the best thing for you."
"The best thing for me? Papa! How can you say that? You didn't even ask me what I wanted! I want to stay here. I don't want to leave you and the Circle M."
"Sometimes in life, we don't always get what we want." His reply was firm. "This will be good for you, and it won't be forever. You'll only be gone a year or so."
"A year or so! That's a lifetime!"
James couldn't help but chuckle. He recognized so much of himself in her. He reached out and took her in his arms, giving her a reassuring hug as he held her close to his heart. "It won't be that bad, sweetheart."
"Are you really going to make me go?" she asked, her face pressed to his chest.
"Yes, Cari. You go to Philadelphia with your mother and learn to be a lady like she is. Then when you come back to me, we'll run the ranch together."
Cari nodded, but didn't look up at him.
"Cari?"
She still kept her face buried against him, and so he took her chin in his hand and tilted her face up to his. It startled him to find she was crying.
"Ah, darling, I don't want you to go, but it's for the best . . ." Tears burned in his eyes, but he fought them back. Elizabeth had convinced him that this was what their daughter needed, and he'd never denied her a thing in all the years of their marriage.
"Yes, sir," Cari choked miserably, her eyes downcast. She could fight her mother, but she couldn't fight her father, too.
"That's my girl," he managed, his smile less than enthusiastic. "Now, help me feed this mare, and we'll go back and have breakfast together."
They worked in silence for a few minutes, then Cari asked, "Papa, will you tell Silver Wolf when he comes back?"
"Of course I will. He'll miss you, I'm sure."
"Do you really think so?"
"Yes, I do."
Cari felt a little better then, but not much. She would rather have spoken to Silver Wolf about the matter herself, but with her mother planning to leave the day after next, there would be no time. It saddened her to think that it might be years before she got to see him again. He was her dearest friend.
The following day passed in a blur for Cari what with all the packing for the trip. It would be a long trek, and Cari dreaded the coming departure. At night she cried silently into her pillow. She'd offered up unceasing prayers to be saved from this fate her mother was intent upon inflicting on her, but her pleas went unanswered.
The morning of their departure dawned bright and clear. The birds were singing. It was a perfect day, and it seemed to Cari, as she faced it with all the bravado she could muster, that it wasn't fair her last morning on the ranch be so beautiful. It would have been easier for her to leave if it had been a rainy, horrible day, a day just as miserable as she was. Instead, her last view of the ranch was going to be a glorious, beautiful one, and it was going to tear her heart out to go.
"Papa . . . are you sure I have to do this? I promise I'll be good. I promise I won't get into any trouble. Papa, please let me stay . . ." she begged one last time as he loaded their trunks onto the wagon. She'd vowed not to cry or beg him again, but watching him put her luggage on the wagon just made it all seem so final.
James turned and swept her into his embrace. "Honey, I promise you you're going to have a good time once you get back East and settle in. You're going to spend time with your grandparents and you'll make a lot of new friends. I'll come to see you just as soon as I can manage to get away."
"Promise?"
"I promise."
"Will you give this to Silver
Wolf for me?" She glanced over her shoulder to make sure her mother hadn't come out of the house yet, then handed him the letter she'd written, telling him what her address would be and that he could write to her and how much she was going to miss him.
James started to take it from her, but then for some reason, he looked up and saw the brave sitting on his horse on the rise above the house. "You can give it to him yourself."
"What?" When Cari twisted around and saw Silver Wolf for herself, her heart lurched in her breast.
"Looks like he got my message," James observed.
"You sent word to him that I was leaving?"
"I saw Strong Eagle yesterday," he answered simply.
Cari threw her arms around him and kissed him. "Thank you, Papa."
"Go on, hurry before your mother comes," he said in a gruff voice to hide the depth of the emotions that were filling him.
Lifting her skirts, Cari ran toward Silver Wolf.
Silver Wolf had been surprised by the message from James McCord, and he'd ridden out before dawn to see if it was true. As he watched the scene below and saw the white man loading things in the back of his wagon, he knew his friend had not lied. Little Snow was leaving . . .
When Cari began to run toward him, Silver Wolf put his heels to his horse's sides and raced to her.
"Silver Wolf! I'm so glad you got here in time," Cari told him as he reined in before her.
"I received word that you were leaving. Why?"
"My mother says I need to go back East to school, but I don't want to go. I want to stay here with Papa . . . and with you," she confessed her misery.
His face was stony, revealing nothing of what he was feeling as he asked, "Your father says you must do this?"
"Yes. He agrees with my mother. We're leaving this morning."
Silver Wolf glanced toward the wagon and saw that her mother had come outside and was standing with her father. "They are waiting for you."
"I know, but I had to see you again and give you this." She handed him the letter. "Will you write to me? The address is inside."
He nodded tersely as he took the letter. He did not open it then, but remained on his horse with his gaze fixed on the scene at the ranch house below.
Cari stood beside Silver Wolf gazing up at him, trying to memorize the way he looked so she could carry that image of him with her while she was away. "I'm going to miss you."
His eyes met hers, and for a second, Cari thought she saw something there . . . a flash of some emotion she couldn't put a name to.
"Cari!"
Then her mother's distant call interrupted them, and the look in his eyes vanished. The privacy of their moment together was destroyed.
"Go. Your mother calls." Without looking at her again, he turned his horse and rode back to the top of the rise, her letter clutched tightly in his hand.
Cari's heart sank as she made her way down to the house. She felt as if something very special was being stolen from her, and she didn't know how to get it back. Fighting the despair that gripped her, she returned to the wagon where her parents waited. She climbed up and sat between them, then donned the sunbonnet her mother insisted she wear.
As her father slapped the reins on the backs of the team and they started on their journey, Cari turned in the seat to try to get one last look at Silver Wolf. Her spirits leaped with excitement when she found he had not ridden away, but had remained on the rise and was watching them. He looked magnificent on his powerful stallion.
Tears streamed down Cari's face as she waved to him, and she gave a small sob when he lifted one arm in return. Despite her mother's admonitions to turn around and sit like a lady, Cari kept her eyes on Silver Wolf and treasured the knowledge that he remained there, keeping watch until they traveled out of sight.
Three
Reverend Walter Louis, a short, heavyset, dark-haired man, was the missionary who'd been visiting Tall Shadow's village for many years. He sat opposite the chief in his tipi now, his expression serious as he tried to explain the fears he harbored in his heart about the future. "My people are coming to your land, Tall Shadow. There is no longer any way to stop them. Already you've seen the railroad cross the plains and now the towns are here and growing. I have just received word that your land is now being called Wyoming Territory, and there is much talk about it becoming a state."
The chief spoke in disgust. "So it is not enough that we have touched the paper with the pen and that we want to be left alone to live in peace."
"You know as well as I do that as long as one man has something another man wants, there can be no peace. Greed is an ugly thing, Tall Shadow. There are many who try to take what they want no matter what the law says or who it belongs to."
The two men regarded each other in silence.
"I have an idea that might help you and your people," Reverend Louis offered, and at Tall Shadow's questioning look, he went on. "You know I've been teaching Silver Wolf for many years now." He waited until the chief nodded, then continued, "Well, I've taught him everything I can. He's smart and quick, and I want him to go East to school. If he learns how to deal with the white men on their terms, he'll be able to help you with those who are sure to come."
"Why do the white men not send their young to us so they can learn our ways?"
"Because most whites have little respect for other people's ways. They think their way is the only way. That's why it's important we convince your grandson to do this. He has a sharp mind, and since his father was a white man, he'll have insight into both sides. It would be good for the tribe if he were to do this."
Tall Shadow regarded the missionary in silence for a moment, knowing he was right. Tall Shadow had watched as the whites crossed the Cheyenne land, first in their wagon trains, then in stagecoaches, and now on trains. He had seen the destruction they wrought on the land. "I will speak with him."
When Reverend Louis had gone, Tall Shadow sent for Silver Wolf. As he waited for him to come, he thought about the reverend's advice. Tall Shadow knew he was a good friend to his people. He agreed with him that Silver Wolf was a quick learner, but he wondered how his grandson would do, completely surrounded by whites. In spite of his mother's urgings, Silver Wolf had never fully embraced his father's heritage, and the chief worried that he would balk at the idea of leaving the only home he'd ever known. At the sound of a horse coming into camp, Tall Shadow looked up to see his grandson riding toward him. He knew he would soon have his answer.
The chief's summons had surprised Silver Wolf, and he'd hurried back to camp quickly. He reined in before him and dismounted quickly. "You wanted me?"
"I have spoken with Reverend Louis. He thinks it would be wise if you learned more of the white man's ways."
Silver Wolf frowned. "Why? I am Cheyenne."
"It would make you stronger to defend our tribe."
"I will defend our tribe with my bow and lance as my grandfather does!"
Tall Shadow lifted his gaze to the east. In the distance, dark clouds stained the horizon. He suddenly felt old, his insight to the future sapping his strength and spirit. "The whites are no longer just crossing our land. They are as many as the stars in the sky, and they are coming to take what is ours."
"Then we will fight them," he stated with the boldness of youth. "We will drive them away."
"They are too many, Silver Wolf." He put a steadying hand on his grandson's arm, understanding his eagerness to fight and wanting to temper it. "We must find a better way. You could do that if you went to the white man's school."
"Why do you say their way is a better way?"
"I do not. I only know that they will not turn back and that we must do what we can to survive. You alone among our people, have the power to help."
Silver Wolf frowned. Tall Shadow had always treated him as a true Cheyenne, but now, suddenly, he was appealing to his white side, and it troubled him. He was Cheyenne, not white! Still, he knew his chief and the missionary were wise men, and he valued their co
unsel. "I will speak with Reverend Louis."
Silver Wolf left his chief to seek out the missionary, his teacher for many years. He found him sitting at the edge of the village, a group of happy, laughing children gathered round him. Standing off to the side for a while, he watched him with the little ones. The reverend was kind and gentle. Silver Wolf thought a great deal of him, but he had his doubts about this new idea of his.
The missionary glanced at him and smiled. "I'm glad you came, Silver Wolf. I was hoping to talk to you." He turned to the children. "All of you can go play now. I'll see you later for your lessons."
Excited over getting out of their schooling, the youngsters ran off laughing.
Reverend Louis had known Silver Wolf long enough to gauge his mood, and he saw the shadow of uneasiness in his eyes. "Did Tall Shadow tell you what we talked about?"
"Yes."
"It would be a good thing for you to go East to college."
"I see no reason to go. This is my home. I belong here, not with the whites."
"There is much you could learn there that would help you here."
"How can learning from books help the Cheyenne?"
Reverend Louis stood and went to put his hand on the young man's shoulder. His expression was earnest as he tried to explain. "I'm not talking about book learning. I want you to go so you can learn more about the white ways. I want you to come to know their hearts, how they think and how they act. If you do this you could become a bridge between two worlds. You would have insight to both sides and be able to resolve conflicts between them. I know you have the strength and intelligence to succeed. But I wonder if you have the courage."
Silver Wolf looked deep into the missionary's imploring gaze. He saw the goodness there and the hope he harbored for a peaceful future for all men. "I do not lack courage, but I do not want to go," he said slowly. "I do not want to be white."
"I know, and I won't lie and tell you it'll be easy. It won't be. But if you agree to try, I will travel with you to the school in New York and see you settled there."