by Emma Davies
‘Well, Hannah did, when we were talking. It’s not definite or anything, she said she wanted to talk to Fraser first. I gather it’s something they planned to do a few years back; she explained about the cottage and what they had planned for their retirement. Even though that’s years away yet, it was a nice gesture, Ned, and it would give us a bit more privacy. I don’t know how much work needs doing on the cottage, but—’
‘Quite a bit. And we’ve neither the time nor the money for it at the moment.’ His voice was harsh as he turned to look in his father’s direction. ‘Dad knows that. So does Mum for that matter.’
‘Well I think it was more of a suggestion really rather than anything concrete…’ Flora trailed off, wondering why there had been such an abrupt change of mood. She took a step backwards, peering around Ned’s shoulder. Fraser had his back to them, one hand holding onto the lower rung of the rail, just as Caroline had earlier.
Ned turned back to her. ‘Listen, I’d better get on.’ His voice was softer now, more like the Ned she knew. ‘But I’ll try and have a chat with Dad in a bit, see what Mum’s been saying. He’s not in a talkative mood today though, so I dunno.’
Flora nodded, still staring down the length of the shed. She was about to shout goodbye to Fraser when she realised that there was something a little off about the way he was standing, leaning all his weight on his supporting arm, holding his body at an uncomfortable angle. As she watched, he suddenly bent forward and a spew of liquid splattered onto the floor.
‘Fraser!’
She touched Ned’s arm, alerting him to what had happened, and hurried down the shed, reaching Fraser just as he was gripped by a fresh wave of vomit. At her shout he had half turned towards her and she jumped backward, grimacing as the remains of his undigested lunch splashed onto her boots. She reached out a tentative arm.
‘Fraser,’ she said again. ‘Are you okay?’
His eyes tried to focus on hers as he registered her presence, but they were staring wildly, full of alarm. His forehead was slick with sweat and, as he straightened slightly, his breath came in short pants. She reached out towards him, mindful that he might well be sick again, but still seeking to reassure him.
‘I’m fine,’ he said, gruffly, pulling his arm away from her reach. ‘Just give me a minute. I’ve had bloody heartburn all morning; must have eaten something that’s disagreed with me.’
A flicker of fear shot through Flora as Ned moved past her. ‘Come on, Dad, let’s get you out into the fresh air. Maybe you’ll feel better then.’ He took hold of Fraser’s arm firmly and, avoiding the puddle on the floor, stepped backwards, trying to pull his dad with him. Flora tried to bring up the rear, making encouraging noises, but Fraser wasn’t in any hurry to go anywhere.
‘Shall I go and fetch Hannah?’ she asked Ned, thinking she probably would anyway.
But Fraser’s refusal was instantaneous. ‘No!’ He stopped dead. ‘She’ll only fuss… and will you stop manhandling me, I’ll be fine.’ He straightened up, but then his face creased into a grimace and he stooped again, clutching at his stomach, a low moan slipping from his lips.
Flora caught the look in Ned’s eye as he nodded his assent, and she took off out of the shed and back to the house as fast as she could.
She returned within five minutes, an anxious Hannah in tow, and was glad to see that Ned had managed to get his father outside. You couldn’t hear yourself think inside the shed, and what with that and the smell, it was enough to make anyone feel ill. Fraser was now leaning up against Ned, gulping in lungfuls of air. His face looked grey and sweaty.
Hannah clicked her tongue. ‘Oh, would you look at you,’ she said. ‘Whatever is the matter?’
Fraser rolled his eyes in a ‘told you so’ manner. ‘I’m fine. Just eaten something funny. Stop fussing, I’ll be right as rain again in a minute.’
‘You’ve said that several times now, Dad, and you’re not getting any better, so what do you want to do?’
Hannah motioned for Ned to step away and moved forward to take his place. ‘Come on, let’s get you home,’ she said. ‘You need to get to bed.’
Flora hovered, unsure what to do, but she caught Ned’s attention as he looked helplessly at his dad. ‘Do you think we should even move him?’ she whispered. ‘Perhaps we should call an ambulance?’
Ned’s eyes widened. ‘An ambulance?’ He turned back for another look. ‘Why? Do you really think that’s necessary?’
Flora didn’t know what she thought. She didn’t want to be alarmist but she had to say something. ‘I don’t know. It just… It just seems as if this came on a bit quick, and it’s obvious your dad’s not letting on, but I think he’s in a lot of pain.’ She thought back to their conversation of a few minutes ago. ‘You said he hadn’t been particularly talkative this morning…’
‘Yes, I know, but nothing like this, Flora, just a bit quiet, that’s all. But my dad’s often a bit quiet.’ She could see him trying to remember if there had been anything else unusual. ‘What do you think it could be?’
Flora wasn’t a doctor but she knew that there were several things it could be – some more serious, some less so – and she prayed that she was wrong; he could just as easily have a stomach bug. But from what? He hadn’t eaten anything different from the rest of them, it didn’t make any sense. She smiled reassuringly.
‘Possibly just a bug, I don’t know, but if he’s in that much pain…’
At that moment Fraser stood up slightly, a tentative expression on his face. He looked around him, almost as if he were listening for something. ‘There, see,’ he said triumphantly. ‘It’s eased off now.’ He shrugged off Hannah’s arm, standing straighter. ‘See, I’m fine now.’
Ned exchanged a look with his mum. ‘Well, let’s give it a few minutes,’ he said. ‘Just to make sure. Maybe you should go back to the house and have a sit-down?’
‘Or I could just get on with milking the cows,’ replied Fraser, pointedly.
‘Yeah all right, Dad,’ muttered Ned. ‘I’ll get back in there in a minute. I just want to make sure you’re okay, that’s all.’
‘Well I am, so stop making such a fuss, all of you.’ He all but glared at Ned, but just as he turned his gaze away, Flora caught a flicker in his cheek, a quickly covered flash of pain.
‘Maybe you should have a break for a few minutes, Fraser,’ she said. ‘It wouldn’t hurt, surely? Ned, can you finish the milking by yourself?’
He nodded. ‘Course. Go on, Dad, she’s right. We’ve been at it since early morning, it wouldn’t hurt you to take a break.’
Flora thought he was going to argue again but, with a nudge from Hannah, he relented and began to move towards the house. As she watched, she wondered if she was the only one who could see how gingerly he was treading.
She loitered for a moment with Ned, giving Hannah and Fraser a little space, before she nodded back over her shoulder towards the milking shed.
‘How much longer do you think you’ll be?’ she asked.
‘We’re on the second batch of cows,’ replied Ned. ‘So, another half hour perhaps. But I’ve got to clean down the parlour and the holding area afterwards.’ He gave her a worried look. ‘I’ll be as quick as I can. Do you honestly think he’s okay?’ he asked.
‘I’m sure he’s fine,’ she said, trying to keep her anxiety from showing. ‘It’s probably just like he said and he’s eaten something that didn’t agree with him.’
‘Yes, but what? We’ve all had the same things today, and we feel fine.’
‘I don’t know. Perhaps it was the infamous beans on toast that did it.’ It was meant to be a light-hearted comment but, as soon as she said it, she realised that Fraser hadn’t felt right after eating them, he’d complained of heartburn then too. Which meant that he’d been suffering from it all day…
‘I’ll get back to the house,’ she said. ‘And I’ll let you know if he gets any worse. Just come back when you can.’ She stood on her tiptoes to kiss him. ‘I’
ll see you soon.’ She waited until he had disappeared back inside the shed again, and then she pulled her mobile from her pocket and peered at the screen, checking for signal. She opened her Internet browser and typed quickly, fingers held against her lips as she waited for the page to load. Then she absorbed the contents and hurried back to the house. It didn’t tell her anything she didn’t already know.
By the time she got there the kitchen was already deserted, and she could hear Hannah’s voice from the hallway, speaking in a steady, soothing tone as she led Fraser up the stairs. Flora dithered about, crossing to put the kettle on to boil before changing her mind and taking it off again. She fetched a glass from the cupboard and filled it with water. She might not gain access to their bedroom, but she could at least give it to Hannah.
She caught up with them on the landing, waiting until they had turned the corner before following so that Hannah at least would catch sight of her. Fraser was still walking steadily, but he looked like he was holding his breath, as if the slightest jerky movement might trigger another episode of sickness.
‘Come on now, let’s get you into bed,’ said Hannah. ‘Best place for you, and you can sleep off whatever has got hold of you. And don’t look at me like that, Ned will be just fine – he can certainly manage without you for a few hours.’
Flora was torn. She could see the sense in resting so maybe it was a good idea, but if she was right about what she believed to be going on, then Fraser shouldn’t be lying down at all. The trouble was, how could she convey that without alarming either one of them? She looked down at the glass in her hand – it wasn’t the perfect solution but the best one she could come up with at short notice. She hung back, letting Hannah guide Fraser into their room.
She heard the sound of boots being pulled off and a discussion over how best to get him out of his overalls, but after a few moments more, Flora decided it was time to interrupt before any further clothes were removed.
‘I thought you might like a glass of water, Fraser,’ she said, entering the room.
He was perched, somewhat hunched, on one side of the bed, while on the other, Hannah was trying to turn down the heavy eiderdown that covered it. It was the first time Flora had been in their bedroom and she was not particularly surprised to find that it was an almost exact replica of the room she shared with Ned. The same heavy furniture, similar wallpaper decorated with small flowery sprigs, and an old-fashioned brass bedstead. She had never asked, but the eiderdown was so similar to their own that she had a sudden vivid mental image of Hannah sewing them in front of the fire on long winter evenings. And fortunately, in one corner of the room, was a small pink Dralon-covered armchair.
‘I’m not sure that’s wise,’ answered Hannah. ‘He’ll just be sick again.’ She looked up, a set expression on her face. ‘Food poisoning… that’s what this is. Probably best if there’s nothing in his stomach until it passes.’
Flora ignored her.
‘You could just sip it, slowly, and it might take the nasty taste out of your mouth.’
Fraser nodded gratefully, a sheen of sweat still showing on his upper lip.
‘Come over to the chair,’ she added. ‘You might be a bit more comfortable, and you can take your time then.’
She was almost certain that Hannah was shooting daggers at her, but she couldn’t bring herself to meet her eyes and, instead, put out her free hand to Fraser’s arm. To her relief he let her take it, and allowed himself to be supported into an upright position.
‘Aye, I might be better sitting.’ He stood taller, pulling in a deep breath as he tried to push his shoulders back. He winced slightly but nodded as if to confirm he was okay, and slowly made his way across the room, where he sank into the chair with an audible sigh.
Flora handed him the glass of water which he cradled in his lap for a moment before taking a sip. He smiled a thank you.
‘I might just go and put the kettle on,’ she said, desperate to remove herself from out under Hannah’s disapproving gaze. ‘I don’t know about you, but I could do with a cup of tea.’ At least in the kitchen she could pace without an audience as she anxiously awaited Ned’s return.
It was a full forty-three more minutes before Ned finally arrived.
‘Oh thank God, you’re back,’ she said the minute he entered the kitchen. She hadn’t meant for it to come out quite as bluntly as it had, but then again, perhaps she did.
Ned’s concern was instant. ‘Is he—’
‘There’s no change,’ interrupted Flora. ‘But, honestly, trying to get through to your mother…’ She took hold of his arm and led him to the far side of the kitchen, as far from the hallway door as she could.
‘I’m sorry, Ned, I’m probably just being alarmist, but I can’t get your mum to listen to me. She’s convinced it’s food poisoning, but I’m really not sure it is and, try as I might, she just brushes off my concern and says that he simply needs time to sleep it off.’
Ned looked towards the door. ‘Is he asleep now? I’ll go up and see him.’
‘I’m not sure. He was dozing in the chair, and Hannah’s with him now but, Ned, I really think we should call an ambulance, or a doctor at the very least.’
He stared at her, his mouth working but no sound coming out. His eyes narrowed. ‘You mentioned calling an ambulance before… you’re really worried, aren’t you?’
Flora nodded quickly. ‘I’m sorry, Ned, but yes, I really am.’
She saw the question form in his eyes, but she answered it before he could speak. ‘I am really worried,’ she said. ‘Because I think your father’s had a heart attack.’
Chapter Eight
Ned stared at her for what felt like an eternity as he grappled with the impact of her words. She knew he was thinking about the farm, his mother, Fraser, of what to do, who to call, and all of it wrapped up in the sudden shock of realisation that his father could die. Flora didn’t know Ned’s past well enough yet to know whether he had ever been faced with such a crisis before, but she guessed from his reaction that he hadn’t.
She was on the verge of gently repeating herself when he gave a sudden start, looking deep into her own eyes.
‘Yes, of course,’ he said suddenly, as if coming to. ‘I’ll ring them now.’
She watched as he hovered on the threshold between the kitchen and the doorway to the hall where the telephone stood on a small table.
‘So, you’re sure?’ he asked, turning. ‘It couldn’t be something else?’
‘It could be any number of things, Ned. But I think we need to find out. Let someone who can be certain make the judgement, that’s all I’m saying.’
He nodded. ‘Right… I’ll go call them then.’
‘I hope it’s nothing,’ she replied, but there was no point hiding her fear; it was a shared thing now, a thread tethering them to each other.
She waited while he phoned, and only then, as he came back into the room, did she take him in her arms, wordlessly laying her cheek against his. ‘Go and see him,’ she said and pulled away slightly as she felt his answering nod.
‘What do I say?’ he asked. ‘And then there’s Mum.’ His eyes widened. ‘Oh God, what do I say to her?’
‘I could come up with you?’ she volunteered. She had no idea what to say either, but she knew Ned needed her.
‘Would you?’ he asked.
But what if she was wrong about Fraser? In her head, the prolonged heartburn, nausea, dizziness and cold sweats could only mean one thing, but she might be making a huge fuss and drama over nothing and they would never forget it. She hesitated, but she had said it now and there was no taking it back. Besides… she had seen it in Fraser’s eyes when she handed him the water, she knew she had; a silent cry for help, a pleading. His nod of thanks hadn’t simply been for the drink he had received, he had been thanking her for what she’d been about to do…
She nodded, swallowing. ‘Come on then,’ she said, taking his hand.
They had almost got to the bedroom do
or before Flora pulled back slightly, causing Ned to look at her in alarm.
‘I’m just thinking,’ she whispered. ‘I don’t want to upset your mum, but I wondered if it might be an idea to get her to pack a bag for your dad, just in case the paramedics want to admit him. It would give her something to do?’
Ned nodded grimly. ‘Whatever you think,’ he answered, followed by a loud exhalation of breath. ‘I haven’t got a bloody clue.’
It would give Flora something to do as well.
Fraser was still sitting in the armchair. He’d been dozing when Flora last checked on him, but now he was looking much more alert, a little more like his usual self in fact. She saw Ned pause as he caught sight of him, obviously expecting to see him in a far worse state.
‘Hiya, Dad,’ he said cheerily. ‘Glad to see you taking it easy while I do all the work. I should have known you were just after a crafty kip.’
Hannah looked up sharply, but Fraser just smiled.
‘Cheeky bugger,’ he replied. ‘You’ll be wanting the chair next.’
‘That’s not such a bad idea. A slice of cake and a cup of tea wouldn’t go amiss either.’
Flora smiled. ‘Dream on,’ she said, catching Ned’s eye as he looked at her, an unspoken question in his eyes. She nodded. Yes, it’s time to tell him.
‘Hannah,’ she said, as brightly as she could. ‘Can I have a word for a minute? I just wanted to ask you something.’ From the corner of her eye she could see Ned kneel on the floor beside Fraser’s chair, and she moved forward to intercept Hannah, leading her away to the other side of the room to where a large chest of drawers stood. And then, standing so that their backs were to the chair, she swiftly and calmly explained the situation.
‘Oh, don’t be so ridiculous. Fraser’s a fit man. There’s not many who could work all day the way he does. And he eats like a horse, there’s nothing wrong with him.’
‘But there is, Hannah,’ she said gently. ‘And I’m not saying that this is what has happened, all I’m saying is that it’s a possibility given the pain in his back and tummy together with his other symptoms. He hasn’t been well all day, in fact I don’t think Fraser’s felt right for a day or two, he just hasn’t let on to anyone. He’s short of breath too but he’s trying hard not to show it. And if that’s the case, it’s because he’s scared. So, if nothing else, let the paramedics come and put his mind at rest.’ Then you can all blame me, she thought, but didn’t say.