by Emma Davies
Ned was staring at her open-mouthed.
‘I need to look into the logistics of this a little more but we could also offer an area for Pick Your Own flowers and even run a flower box scheme, a bit like fruit and veg boxes… possibly even hijack an existing company and use them to deliver for us. Being able to offer added value is always appealing.’
‘I’d never have thought of half these things.’
‘I wanted to do all this when I still had Daisy Doolittles but there was just me and it was too much on my own.’ She flicked her finger gently against the tip of Ned’s nose. ‘Now there’s all of us.’
‘There are,’ agreed Ned firmly. ‘Although with everything you’ve got planned I’m not sure just the four of us are going to be enough. We might need a whole army!’ He caught hold of her fingers, bringing them to his lips to kiss. ‘It was tough enough before even when Dad was fit. I know he’ll be back up to speed soon but how we’ll see to the cows plus everything you’ve got planned, I don’t know. We’d better get in training.’
Flora stared at the wide smile on his face, feeling a ripple of confusion at his words. Her own smile began to falter.
‘Yes, but we won’t need to do both, will we?’ she said, wondering what Ned was thinking.
He frowned. ‘Won’t we? Why?’
Her stomach began to twist with unease. ‘Because we’ll be running a flower farm, Ned…’ Oh God… The penny dropped and she realised with horror that he had completely misunderstood her. ‘Ned, this isn’t a business to run alongside the dairy farming. It’s instead of it…’
‘What?’ She could see the light dawning on his face, his body straightening in shock, drawing away from her. ‘You mean… We’d need to sell the cows, not milk them any more?’ He swallowed. ‘No! No way, Flora. We can’t do that. Jesus, what were you thinking?’
A flicker of anger began to curl around Flora’s heart at Ned’s flat rejection. What did he think she meant? And for goodness’ sake, the least he could do was hear her out, but his mouth was set.
‘Well, thanks, Ned. I thought I was thinking of a way that could get the farm out of debt, or have you forgotten about that?’
‘No, of course I haven’t,’ he flashed back. ‘Don’t be ridiculous. But I didn’t think you meant for us to give up the family business…’ He broke off, inhaling. ‘It’s a shock, that’s all.’
Flora tried to soften her own words. ‘I realise that, Ned, but I’ve done the sums and the only way you can repay the debt to Caroline’s father quickly is to sell the land.’
He rolled his eyes. ‘Can we please leave Caroline out of this for a minute? It’s got nothing to do with her.’
‘Ned, it’s got everything to do with her. You owe her father forty thousand pounds and you told me that what he wanted was our land. So let him have it, we don’t need it all.’
‘No.’
Flora shook her head. ‘Then what else do you suggest?’ She was becoming more and more exasperated by the minute. ‘Sell the land, and clear the debt, Ned. It’s quite simple. Put an end to this once and for all.’
Ned opened his mouth, and then closed it again, anguish flooding his face. He gave a small groan. And then he shut his eyes tight, his jaw clenching. When he opened them again, he looked at Flora, just for a second, before turning his gaze away.
‘It’s not that simple,’ he said quietly.
Flora felt her stomach turn to ice. ‘Why not?’ she said slowly. ‘Ned… Why is it not that simple?’
‘Because Caroline… Oh Christ…’
But Flora knew what was coming next, somehow it couldn’t be anything else. ‘So Caroline’s father lends you the money, hoping that what he’ll end up with is a prime chunk of land. Which just leaves Caroline, Ned. What could possibly be in it for her…?’ Breathing suddenly felt like she was trying to draw in lungfuls of treacle. She gulped. ‘Are you…?’ A stinging rush of tears. ‘Are you having an affair?’
‘God, no!’ Ned’s face contorted with emotion. ‘I would never—’
Flora scrambled to her feet, her thoughts darting in all directions. ‘Then what, Ned?’ She so desperately wanted to believe him.
She watched him closely for a moment, holding his look, until his gaze flickered and he looked away. His eyes closed again and he swallowed, his lips parted as he sucked in breath.
‘Me,’ he said, so quietly it was scarcely more than a sigh. And then he opened his eyes. ‘She wants me.’
He held her look this time, eyes wide open, like a rabbit caught in the headlights. He had no idea how to make any of this right, and was pleading for her help. Did that make it better? Or worse…?
She had no idea what to say next. And neither did he.
They looked at one another for a moment, suddenly strangers.
‘And is she going to get you?’ Flora asked, her fingernails digging into the palm of her hands.
‘No!’ The reply was instantaneous, Ned’s voice harsh, his eyes wild and scared, pleading with her to believe him. She wanted to, but there was something else, some other thought nudging the edge of her mind that she couldn’t yet translate.
‘You have to believe me, Flora,’ Ned finally managed. ‘I’m not good with words,’ he continued. ‘But this place is all I’ve ever known. I love how I know every inch of the land around here, the way the sun catches the hill in the morning, which patch of grass always gets the first frost, and how sweet the cows’ breath smells in the springtime. I can’t lose this place, Flora, and I thought at one time I’d do anything to keep the farm…’ He rubbed a hand over his eyes. ‘Only now I’ve found out that sometimes the price is simply too high. I don’t want Caroline, I never have, not even when we…’
Flora raised her eyebrows. ‘Even when we what, Ned? Got engaged?’
His hands were lifeless in his lap and he stared at them now, swallowing hard before he could speak. ‘I wanted to tell you, Flora. But it all went wrong, right from your very first day, when you came into the kitchen and found Caroline there. It was so awkward, I couldn’t say anything at the time and, apart from that, I was worried what Caroline would say. Then Mum upset you and it was such a tough couple of days I didn’t want to make things any worse. After that, with Dad so poorly, I couldn’t seem to find the right time to tell you and later on, well, it just would have looked suspicious.’ He looked up at her. ‘I should have told you, I realise that, but…’ He hung his head. ‘I’m sorry, Flora. Something else I made a complete hash of.’
She thought back to Grace’s words of the day before. What Ned had said certainly seemed to ring true.
He was staring straight ahead, lost in the past. ‘I could never be with Caroline,’ he said. ‘She is shallow, grasping and incredibly selfish. The only thing she loves is herself.’ He gave a hollow laugh. ‘She pretends to love her horses, but even those are cared for by someone else…’
Flora thought back to the day at the stable and the ‘lowly’ stable lad to whom she hadn’t even been introduced as if he were a nothing, a nobody. She sat back down, nodding. Caroline was almost certainly arrogant, but then so were a lot of people. She was about to say something else when Ned interrupted her.
‘The only thing she loves about her horses is the access to the right kind of social life; riding around and gossiping with a load of tacky, fake wannabes whose only aim in life is to bag a rich husband who can keep them in the manner to which they’ve become accustomed…’
Flora let out a breath. ‘Blimey, Ned, that’s a bit harsh. I haven’t exactly taken to her myself, but she’s not that bad, surely?’ She looked at the disgust on his face. ‘You really don’t like her, do you?’
‘No, I don’t.’ Ned’s voice was suddenly clear. ‘I tolerate her because our families are friends, and to alienate her would only make things worse, but even though I know what she’s like, I’m so bloody stupid I’ve walked straight into her web.’
Flora’s eyes widened. ‘Okay,’ she said. ‘Now you’re making her out to b
e some sort of bunny-boiler crazy person. You should have told me about your engagement, but I guess I can live with that. Just don’t take it too far, Ned.’
He was silent for far too long. ‘You’re not getting it,’ he said quietly. ‘I grew up with Caroline, we had a relationship which I broke off, but even then… you’ve seen how it is, Flora, she’s always here. She won’t let me go. Everywhere I turn there she is, and it’s been going on for so long that no one really notices any more. When Caroline first offered to lend us the money, I thought it was just a generous gesture, I never thought there would be quite so many strings attached. But that’s precisely how she wanted it. Knowing how anxious I was about Dad and losing the farm, she wanted a hold over me that would pretty much guarantee I would do anything she said. But that was all before you arrived, Flora, before I fell in love with you. So now you’re here, and she can see her plans falling to pieces, it’s like she’s pulling out all the stops. She’s determined to have the farm, Flora, and me with it. She’s made my life a misery over the last few weeks, making suggestive comments, that kind of thing, but I’m scared to say anything because until we pay the loan off we’re on really dangerous ground. If they demand the money back straight away, we could lose the farm, Flora. And I don’t know what to do. I’m terrified of what Caroline is capable of, and what that might mean for us.’
She thought about his words. How Caroline had made herself out to be Flora’s friend, and yet she had done things that no true friend would ever do. And Ned was right, she was always at the farm, always popping up by his side, asking him questions, just like she was on the day when Fraser had his heart attack and Ned had looked so agitated. Clearly there had been things going on behind Flora’s back, but she’d been so preoccupied with her own anxieties about fitting in that she couldn’t even see what was happening. And Ned, doing his best to protect her, hadn’t said anything either…
And what she could see was how Caroline thought she had the perfect plan. To generously bail Ned and the farm out of trouble. To make herself indispensable to them, Little Miss Sweetness and Light, and then bag herself a man and a chunk of prime land into the bargain. Flora had to hand it to her, it was a pretty much flawless plan until she turned up. But Flora was not about to let Caroline get away with anything; she’d be damned if she would.
Ned looked up at her as her mouth tightened. ‘I told you you’d hate me,’ he said.
She looked at his weary face. He was an idiot at times, that much was true. But a well-meaning one, and a sudden surge of anger flooded through her.
‘Do you know what makes me really mad in all of this?’
Ned opened his mouth to answer but Flora carried on, all the anger she felt towards Caroline suddenly rushing to the surface.
‘That Caroline has even used Fraser’s heart attack to try and further her own aims and that really is low, even for her. I’m getting heartily sick of her telling us we’re going to fail every minute of the day, although now of course I understand why it’s been “poor Fraser this”, and “poor Fraser that”, or “Do you think you’ll have to sell the farm?”’ She mimicked Caroline’s cut-glass accent, which was just as fake as the woman herself. ‘Sounding all innocent, when she’s nothing of the sort. Innocent, my arse… Well, I’m sorry, but it’s obvious that she’d like nothing more than for your dad to become the frail old man she’s all too eager to tell us that he has become. And Fraser has done nothing to deserve this. He’s a hard-working, loving man. Bluff and a bit scary at times, but a good man all the same, and one who is now hurting very badly and terrified of what his life has become.’
Her voice rose steadily as she spoke, her thoughts gathering pace as they began to tumble from her mouth. ‘That’s why we need to sell the land, Ned. We need to do something that gives Fraser back his life, but not the old one that was all about debt and failure, but something new, something with promise. In fact, what angers me most about Caroline’s involvement in all of this is not what she’s threatened you with, or the fact that she hates me – we’re young and fit and can stand up for ourselves – but Fraser can’t. There are more important things in life than holding onto a lost dream of how this bloody farm used to be, and Fraser’s health is one of them. And if it isn’t, then somewhere along the line someone’s got their priorities very wrong indeed.’ Flora sat back, eyes flashing.
There was silence for a moment as Ned held her look. ‘I see,’ he said finally. ‘And that someone would be me, would it?’
Flora looked up, startled. Shit. That wasn’t what she meant at all, but somehow, in her rush to get her point across, and with the anger she felt towards Caroline spilling over, it hadn’t come out quite the way she had meant it to.
‘No, God, Ned, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean you… I just meant in general, I—’
Two blooms of colour had appeared on his cheeks. ‘Well, that’s easy for you to say when it’s not your livelihood at stake. When you don’t have to worry about earning money to put food on the table. Have you any idea what it costs to run this place?’
She stared at him. ‘Who says I don’t? Jesus, Ned, credit me with some intelligence. Have I not just proven how much a part of this family I am? Or maybe not… Thanks a million, Ned. I think you’ve just made it very clear how you view me. And I am not your mother…’ she hissed. ‘That old-fashioned nonsense about it being the man’s responsibility to earn a living is bullshit as far as I’m concerned. I’m just as capable of earning money, but I’d rather do it here, working alongside you, than somewhere else.’
He glared at her. ‘That wasn’t actually what I meant…’
‘Then what?’
‘I meant that when you’ve got a nice little stash of money safely tucked away you can afford to think things like money don’t matter.’ And then he stopped, a startled expression crossing his face as if someone else had just said the words.
‘Of course money matters, don’t be so bloody ridiculous…’ She glared back at him. ‘Anyway, who says I’ve got a pot of money?’
He didn’t answer and a suspiciously guilty look crept over his face.
‘Ned? Who says I’ve got a pot of money?’ Her demand was met with a stony expression. ‘Oh… of course, Caroline. I might have guessed. She just happened to drop that thought into conversation, did she? Another little seed she planted inside your head.’
He ignored her statement, but she could see the guilt written across his face. ‘It’s obvious, isn’t it? You sold your business, Flora. Or had you forgotten that?’ He sucked in air through his teeth. ‘Jeez, it was bloody killing me, the thought of having to ask you whether you might be prepared to use that money to pay off the loan. Thinking that I’d failed you too, even though I hoped you’d see it as part of an investment in our future life together. Well, now you’ve made it perfectly clear where you stand by denying the very fact that it exists—’
‘I don’t have any money,’ she broke in, holding his look defiantly. ‘If I had, I would have given it to you without you even having to ask. I would have offered it. Do you really think that little of me?’ She practically spat the last words.
The little voice in her head was screaming at her to shut up, but she took no notice, so wound up that she was incapable of stopping. She could see the chance of saving themselves slipping further and further away from her, but somehow she seemed powerless to alter the course she was on. And then Ned opened his mouth and she felt the precipice under their feet.
‘So where did it go then? I might have been a bit naive in the past, but I’m not stupid. You had a business, Flora, with a flat attached to it, that you owned. And I know your business wasn’t exactly flourishing but even by the time you’d paid back any mortgage or debt, there must have been something. So what happened to it?’
A wave of heat washed over her. ‘I can’t tell you,’ she said softly, feeling the life drain out of her. ‘So please don’t ask me.’
She felt physically sick. How could she possibly tell him no
w what she’d done? She’d accused him of keeping secrets in the past but she was no better than he was.
She could feel Ned’s eyes boring into the top of her head as she sank back into her chair.
‘So you did have money from the sale,’ he argued. ‘Caroline was right…’ He stopped, realising what he’d said but in his anger unable to stop himself. ‘And what about the other money too, from the sale of your paintings? More money that I’m not supposed to know about. Makes me wonder what other secrets you’ve been keeping,’ he said, the disgust in his voice plain to hear.
She stared at him in confusion. What money from the sale of the paintings? And then she remembered Grace’s words from the day before. She’d said she had good news about the paintings and some not so good news. So Grace must have sold them and somehow Caroline must have found out that she had asked Grace to keep her earnings a secret between the two of them. And of course she had hotfooted it to tell Ned straight away.
‘I think you need to make your mind up, Ned, about who you believe; Caroline or me. You tell me how much you despise Caroline and yet you’re quite happy to listen to her lies. Why are you doing that to yourself? Why are you doing it to me?’
His face softened for a moment but then he pinned her with a look.
‘Just tell me, Flora. Have you kept the money a secret from me?’
How could she possibly answer that? She had done just what he had accused her of, but it wasn’t what he thought. She was damned either way.
He took her silence as his answer.
‘And you accused me,’ he said bitterly.
His words were like knives, but she deserved them. She should have told Ned what she’d done right from the start, but she’d had a hard time admitting it to herself. Her future was just opening up in front of her – a glorious, magical, whirlwind romance that she could never have dreamed of. She’d been scared that if she told Ned what she’d done, it would have killed them stone dead, and so she had kept it to herself and, if there was ever a moment for coming clean, it had long since passed. And now her secret had destroyed them anyway because she would have offered the money if she’d had it, of course she would… and now Ned had practically accused her of hiding it so that she didn’t have to give it to him.