by J. S. Scott
Sarah looked around the room. Grady was holding Emily in his lap, looking like he was afraid to ever let her go. Jared, Randi, Elsie, Beatrice, and Joe Landon were all occupying some of the other available seats. Even her medical assistant, Kristin, was here, a worried look on her face.
“If he has the energy to bitch, he must be doing okay,” Grady said hesitantly. “I’ll stay with him tonight. He’s likely to get up and leave.”
Sarah held up her hand. “I’ll stay until he’s discharged. I’ll just need some clean clothes tomorrow, if you wouldn’t mind.” She gave Emily a pleading look. Sarah had already showered and quickly thrown on a pair of light blue scrubs, but she wanted some clean clothing.
“Of course I’ll bring them,” Emily agreed readily. “I’ll even pick you up a latte at Brew Magic.”
“We’ll bring food,” Beatrice said firmly. “I had to stay in a hospital once, and all I wanted was some decent food to eat while I was there. I had to get my nephew to bring me something edible.”
Elsie nodded in agreement.
“Are you sure you can handle him?” Jared said doubtfully.
Sarah smiled at Jared. “He’s staying, even if I have to wrestle with him to keep him down in bed. He’ll sleep tonight. He’s fighting it now, but he won’t be able to keep it up forever.”
Emily wriggled out of her husband’s lap and threw herself at Sarah, Randi right behind her. Emily started to sob as she clung to Sarah, who savored her friend’s loving embrace by wrapping her arms around Emily and hugging her close, bringing Randi into their circle for a group hug. She was so relieved that they were both safe.
“I was so afraid, Sarah,” Emily sobbed.
Randi nodded her head. “I was, too. I don’t know how you managed to not show your fear when you were basically sacrificing your own life for ours.”
The three women hugged each other for several minutes, then Sarah finally stepped back to say, “I brought you both into that situation, and I’m sorrier than I can ever say. Neither of you deserved to be there, to have to experience that. I brought a serial killer to Amesport.” Sarah’s gut still rolled at the thought.
“You haven’t deserved any of this, Sarah. Everything that’s happened right from the beginning,” Emily said fiercely as she went to take the seat next to Grady, but he pulled her right back into his lap. Randi found her own seat again next to Beatrice, and the elderly woman reached out and took Randi’s hand comfortingly.
“Are you ready to talk about it, Sarah?” Chief Landon asked gravely.
Sarah nodded. “I know you want to talk to Dante, too, and we can meet you up in his room if you can wait for them to settle him into his bed.”
“No problem,” Joe agreed readily. “But we do have an issue.” He released a long, frustrated sigh as he added, “We have a real media circus outside already. The Windy City Carver has been a big mystery case for a long time. This is a huge national story. Obviously we aren’t going to let them enter the hospital or private property, but they’ll be pestering every one of you wherever they can.” He looked around at every person in the room in warning.
Sarah looked at Joe, and then turned her gaze to Elsie. “I think that Elsie should break the story. After all, she was there, and she helped get the police there quickly.” She knew the elderly woman would be thrilled, and both Elsie and Beatrice looked traumatized. It might help to get their minds on something else.
“I’d get the scoop?” Elsie’s face perked up.
Sarah shrugged. “I think it’s only fair that Amesport is the first to report it. And you were an eyewitness. Who would do a better job of reporting it?” Besides, if Elsie scooped the story, maybe the media would slowly fade away, using that information to write their own stories when nobody wanted to talk.
Joe caught her eye and winked at her, obviously understanding exactly what she was trying to do.
“Of course. I have the inside scoop, and all of you to give me the information I don’t have,” Elsie said excitedly.
“I’d say you better get to work as soon as possible and break the story by tomorrow morning,” Sarah told Elsie emphatically. The earlier the better. Sarah was hoping the craziness would die down by the time Dante was released. “I’m heading back to keep an eye on Dante. He should be headed up to his room in a few minutes,” Sarah said purposefully, knowing she needed to get back to Dante and make him behave. The poor nurses were starting to draw straws over who had to take care of him. “Joe, I’ll see you shortly in Dante’s room.”
Joe nodded. “I’ll be up.”
“Sarah?” Emily called just as Sarah was ready to head back to the ER.
Sarah turned back to her friend. “Yes?”
“Are you okay?” Emily asked nervously.
“I’m holding up,” Sarah said, trying to reassure her friend. At the moment, she was functioning on autopilot, trying not to think about anything except Dante’s care.
“I hate to mention this, but you’re in a hospital. I thought . . . I guess I was worried . . . oh hell, I just wondered if you were doing all right with that,” Emily said breathlessly.
Sarah stopped and gave Emily a blank look. And then it dawned on her. Emily was the only one except her mother and Dante who knew the whole story about her past and her panic attacks.
I am in a hospital. I’m not freaking out. I’m not having panic attacks. Everything just feels . . . familiar.
She slowly grinned at Emily. “Your brother-in-law has made me so crazy that I didn’t even think about it.” Sarah shook her head in amazement. “And yeah, I’m doing just fine with it.” Strangely, she was doing well in a hospital setting. She’d been so worried about Dante that she hadn’t had time to be afraid.
Emily gave her a tremulous smile, and Sarah turned around and went back to the ER with an amazed expression on her face.
Dante woke up feeling unnerved and in a place he hadn’t wanted to see again for quite some time.
Another fucking hospital.
It was still dark, no light coming through the window blinds.
What the hell time is it?
He leaned forward and squinted at the clock on the wall, barely able to see the hands with only the dim light near the door to illuminate the room.
It’s after three a.m.
He’d fallen asleep soon after he and Sarah had spoken with Joe to give him a statement of what had occurred at the center.
Sarah?
He froze up anxiously for a minute until he saw Sarah near him, asleep in the recliner next to the bed.
Thank fuck!
His eyes caressed her lovingly, damn grateful she was still alive. He collapsed backward again, letting out a small groan as his head hit the skimpy pillow.
“Dante?” Sarah’s sleepy voice called out, and she sat up immediately. “What happened?”
Dante grinned at her sheepishly as she hovered over him. “Nothing. I forgot that I hit my head.”
Damn! Even exhausted she looks beautiful.
Close up, he could see the dark circles under her eyes, and her hair was tousled, but at the moment she was the sweetest sight he’d ever seen. She was here. She was breathing. And she was breathtaking.
“Are you okay?” she murmured quietly, running a hand lightly though his hair, avoiding the injured areas on his scalp.
The anxious look on her face floored him because he knew it was all for him. She’d been through hell in the last sixteen or so hours, but her every thought was about him. She hadn’t shed a tear over what had happened, or talked about almost dying. Every thought, every action, had been for him. She had surrounded herself with a veneer of calm to take care of him, just like she’d done to protect Emily and Randi.
“I’m lonely.” He flipped back the covers and scooted to the left, making room for her in the small bed. “Come sleep with me.”
He was wearing a pair of what almost looked like surgical scrub pants. He’d gotten rid of the annoying patient gown and just kept the drawstring pa
nts on to cover his junk. They’d disconnected him from his intravenous fluids, so he didn’t have any lines going into him—just an irritating port in the top of his left hand. Probably the only reason he’d slept for a while was because they’d stopped pumping him full of the fluids that had sent him to the bathroom to piss every five minutes.
Dante watched Sarah’s face as a moment of indecision passed over her features. He took her hand and pulled her forward. “Don’t analyze it. Just crawl in here.” He was afraid if she thought about it for too long, she’d scurry back to the recliner, and he desperately needed her close to him. She’d been so busy taking care of him that she hadn’t dealt with her own trauma. She needed comfort, and he wanted to give it to her. She’d been strong for long enough.
“Okay,” she whispered, crawling gingerly into the space he’d made for her.
He covered them both with the blankets, and then brought her head to rest on his chest, trying to make her comfortable. “You put on a brave face all evening. Do you want to talk about it?” he asked quietly, knowing she’d eventually have to break in order to heal.
Sarah shook her head, but her arm curled around his abdomen and she clenched him tightly.
Dante’s heart swelled as he held the vulnerable Sarah in his arms, the side of this woman that few people ever saw. “Do you want me to tell you how I feel?”
She nodded jerkily.
“I feel like I never want to let you out of my sight again. Not for any damn reason. I think every time I close my eyes for a long fucking time all I’m going to see is the sight of you with a gun to your head. I think I’m going to hear Thompson’s voice in my head, talking about how he wants to carve you up, until I can finally clear it away and fill my mind with other memories. I think you have to be the bravest and smartest woman in the world to have kept him talking for so long, and manage to get your two friends out of that room.” He paused for a moment. “And I think I’m the luckiest bastard in the world to actually be holding you in my arms right now.”
“I’m not that brave,” Sarah whispered in a rush. “I was scared. I was afraid for Emily and Randi, petrified that I’d brought them into the situation and I was going to get them killed. Then, once they were out, I was hoping I didn’t literally get sick and vomit just from the thought of him touching me. All of that fear was there, Dante. I just couldn’t let it out. He wanted me to be frightened, and I couldn’t let him see it. When I saw you get hurt, my fear turned into rage, and I wanted to hurt him somehow. That’s why I kneed him in the balls. I didn’t want him to get away. I was glad you shot him. I was relieved that he was dead. If I had had a gun, I would have done it myself. After that, I was in a panic that you were injured, so afraid that you wouldn’t be okay.” She started to cry, her voice tearful. “So I’m not very brave at all. I was scared, so very scared the entire time,” she cried in a distressed voice, the dam breaking as she sobbed into his chest, her arm clutching him even tighter.
Dante wrapped both of his arms around her shuddering body, rocking her as she cried, the sound of her fear and pain nearly splitting his heart in half. He’d never seen her sob like this, and if he never heard it again, it would be too soon. But she needed this, she needed to let everything out, and his heart swelled because she was doing it with him. “I know, baby. I know. I was scared, too. I was afraid he’d hurt you,” he said soothingly, running his hands over her hair and back, holding her until the storm of tears had finally ceased. Finally, he said, “You’re here in the hospital. Christ! I forgot how you react to hospitals.” Dante was angry at himself. He’d been so wrapped up in everything else that he’d forgotten about her panic attacks.
“I’m okay. I was so worried about you I didn’t think about it. And then, it didn’t seem to matter. I actually feel comfortable being back. I missed it. I guess I just needed to get myself back through the doors. Or maybe it’s because my attacker is dead. Either way, I’m doing good.”
Dante breathed a sigh of relief. “Jesus. You really have been through hell, sweetheart.” No matter how much she denied it, she was the bravest woman he’d ever know. And she was his.
“I can’t believe he was really the Windy City Carver.” She sniffed wearily.
Dante couldn’t believe it either. “Even in Los Angeles, law enforcement talked about that case.”
“The media is everywhere. You’re a hero,” Sarah sighed.
“I don’t want to be a hero. I just wanted you alive. But I’m glad he’s dead. The women he killed needed some kind of justice. It used to bug the hell out of every homicide detective in the country that he wasn’t caught and didn’t pay for those murders,” Dante told her thoughtfully. “I hope the media doesn’t become a pain in the ass.” He’d worked a lot of high-profile cases, and dealing with the media wasn’t exactly one of his favorite parts of his job.
“They’re all about to be scooped,” Sarah told him, her voice slightly amused. “Elsie is breaking the story in the morning. I’m sure it will all die down.”
Dante chuckled, the thought of the curious elderly woman finally getting her big news article amusing him. “Your idea?” It was actually brilliant. If Elsie scooped the story, the media would die down.
Sarah shrugged. “It’s big news. Elsie will be talking about it forever. I’m sure it will go syndicated.”
“Media or not, I’m going home in the morning,” Dante grumbled.
“You’ll go home when Dr. Samuels says you can go home,” Sarah retorted sharply.
“Bossy woman,” Dante replied grumpily.
Sarah lifted her head to look at him. “I can actually go back to my cottage now. I didn’t think about that.”
“No. Not yet.” Dante couldn’t stand the thought of Sarah not being with him, and he tightened his grip around her reflexively. Hell, he was even getting fond of her pathetic little dog. “Coco?” He hated the thought that the dog might be at his house with no food and no way to get outside.
“She’s with Emily. No doubt she’s spoiling her with human food as badly as you do.”
“Stay with me for a while,” Dante demanded. It was going to take him a long damn time to reassure himself that she was okay.
“I have to go home eventually.”
No, you don’t.
Dante had a hard time keeping that thought to himself. As far as he was concerned, she belonged with him. He stayed mute but was determined she wasn’t going anywhere. She needed to be someplace safe, somewhere that she could get over the trauma that she’d been through. And that place was with him. “Not now,” he settled for saying. They hadn’t talked about the future because they’d been too busy trying to survive in the present. But they would be talking about it. Soon. There was no way he was going to live without her.
Dante heard her sigh softly. “Not now,” she agreed sleepily.
He held her, satisfied for the moment, still running calming strokes over her back and hair until she finally slept.
CHAPTER 18
Dante was discharged the following afternoon, much to the relief of every person working on his unit. It hadn’t been long enough for the town to settle down, and much of the media still remained, hoping for an interview. But Jared and Grady managed to get him home without incident, and the gates to the peninsula were locked and guarded by some of the local police force. After dropping Dante and Sarah off, the men headed back to the gate to make sure no one could enter, and to let the press know they weren’t doing any interviews. They were going to make an official and brief statement, hoping it would satisfy the reporters enough to just use Elsie’s account for their story.
Sarah and Dante were greeted at the door by an excited Coco, Emily having returned the dog earlier in the afternoon.
“Damn dog,” Dante grumbled as he reached down and scooped the canine up and held her gently in his beefy arms, giving the pup more than a token amount of affection. He stroked Coco’s quivering body and scratched the top of her head.
Sarah tried not to smirk as
she watched the exchange between dog and man. Coco had made Dante’s home and its owner part of her territory. Coco adored Dante, and Sarah knew her big, tough guy loved the little dog, no matter how much he tried to deny it.
She’s going to miss him so much when he’s gone.
Her little dog had gotten as attached to Dante as Sarah had. Now they were both going to pay the price for loving a man who didn’t belong in Amesport.
I love him. I really do love him.
Although she’d probably fallen for Dante way before today, admitting it to herself made her feel shot through the heart. She couldn’t go on denying it. She’d fallen completely and irrevocably in love with this strong, dominant man who was also capable of such gentle tenderness that it made her want to weep.
He’s going back to Los Angeles. I knew he wouldn’t be here forever.
She had known. Still, it hadn’t kept her heart safe. Dante Sinclair had been an irresistible temptation for a woman like her, a man who made her feel safe and adored after a lifetime of being alone. He’d held her tightly while the dam had broken and her emotions had overwhelmed her last night, something that had never happened to her quite like that before. Now that everything had escaped, she was fairly certain she’d never be able to put every feeling she had back in a safe place again, buried beneath logic and reason. But honestly, she didn’t really want to. Living a life without emotion might be easier, but it would never make her happy.
I’m going to be alone again.
That thought made her want to run back to her own little cottage, where she could nurse her broken heart in private.
It isn’t going to help.
Sarah sighed as she walked to the kitchen and leaned back against the counter, needing a minute to sort out her emotions. Even though seeing him go was going to be unbearably painful, it wouldn’t make it any less painful if she parted from him now, or a week from now. Right now Dante didn’t seem to want to discuss anything, preferring to live in the moment.
I’ve never really done that before.