by Tamara Lush
“I’m going to grab a water,” she said when Leo followed. “Anyone want anything?”
The others shook their heads, so Jessica stalked away to the bar where she could regroup.
On stage was a local band from the island that played rockabilly versions of new songs, and when the singer began crooning a sexy, doo-wop version of Miley Cyrus’s “We Can’t Stop”—in Jessica’s opinion way better than the original; she loved retro music and anything that wasn’t Top 40-popular—people glided onto the dance floor. Jessica looked at the couples wistfully, their faces soft and sensual in the fading sunlight, and for an all-too-brief moment she gave up all her concerns and forgot about everything that had happened in the past year. She loved winter in Florida. Why not enjoy this party? Why not surrender to Leo’s charms if he came after her? Why not let go and enjoy life? She was twenty-two, not eighty. It seemed as if she’d aged a hundred years since Mom died.
Or, maybe she should seduce Leo herself. Why leave it up to chance? What she wouldn’t give to dance with him, to sway to the music in his arms and feel his magic touch on every inch of her body like she had all those years ago. To wrap her arms around him and inhale the scent of his skin, to kiss that sensitive spot behind his earlobe…
She glanced over, and his smile burned into her like the brightest sunshine. Part of her wanted to soak up the attention. Another part of her stayed wary. He had disappeared from her life once. Who was to say he wouldn’t do it again? And even if she decided she wanted to sleep with him, would her body comply? Coming to her senses, she shook her head slightly and turned to the bar.
By the time she’d stood in line, paid for a water and arrived back with Catalina and Leo, another woman had joined the group. A vaguely familiar face. Catalina quickly introduced her to Jessica with a pointed stare. Megan, that was her name. She’d briefly dated Catalina’s brother, and Jessica recalled that she lived in Fort Myers on the mainland. Tall and raven-haired, Megan looked a few years older than the rest of them. She was also way more glamorous, with her black cocktail dress, sleek, pointy-toed high heels and expertly airbrushed spray tan, judging by the slight orange hue of her skin.
Jessica got a whiff of Megan’s strong perfume, something straight out of an upscale department store, and she had a sudden realization. This was the kind of woman that Leo should be with. Someone outgoing, someone happy, someone stunning. Someone tiny. Someone like Jacob had wanted. All of her old hurts and wounds rushed back, straight into her chest, and she felt like she couldn’t breathe.
“So, Megan’s opened a flower shop on the island,” Catalina said to the group.
“I would love to bring over flowers to your bakery that first week you’re open,” Megan purred at Leo, tossing her long, silky hair and shooting a blindingly white smile in his direction.
“You don’t have to go to that sort of trouble,” replied Leo mildly. Jessica gulped her water then set it on a nearby table, feeling invisible.
“It’s no trouble at all. And no charge. You can repay me another way, I’m sure.”
Megan’s eyelashes fluttered. If Jessica remembered correctly, Cat’s brother had said this woman was a notorious flirt. That certainly seemed to be the case. Jessica knew she was being ridiculous. Leo wasn’t hers, and he could flirt with whomever he wanted. But was he flirting with this woman? She couldn’t tell.
Then Leo laughed.
Jessica seethed. He probably intended to sleep his way around the island, starting tonight. Her kiss the night before hadn’t been good enough, or she’d gained too much weight, or something, and now he was moving on to the next option. That mermaid tattoo on his bicep probably wasn’t even a reminder of her; it was just art he’d inked on his arm to look cool. She would never be good enough for someone as handsome as him. Who was she to even dare think about a relationship with Leo? She could never trust him, anyway.
A deep sadness settled in her chest. She drained her beer then pasted on a smile. “Have a fun night, everyone. I’ve got a lot of guests coming in tomorrow.”
Spinning on the ball of her foot, she headed for the door, but Leo spoke, his voice more commanding than she’d ever imagined it could be.
“Wait.”
Jessica froze and looked over her shoulder.
“I wanted to dance with you at least once,” he said, stepping forward and pressing his hand firmly on the small of her back. Propelling her in a half circle, he steered her back to the floor before she had a chance to protest, and he scooped her up in his arms as the band struck up a slow, acoustic version of a Radiohead song.
The female singer’s voice was ethereal, a sensual croon as Leo drew her close. Because he was so big, she felt small in his arms. She loved that about him.
God, he felt good. Too good. Her stomach and everywhere below tensed into a tight coil, and she wondered again whether her body would betray her if she tried to have sex with him. Was it worth the risk?
“Remember when we last danced, on the hotel roof?” Leo whispered.
She nodded weakly. She remembered everything: the stars and the rustle of the palm trees and how she’d clung to him, thinking she would die if he left her. Maybe part of her had died.
Her nose was a few inches from his neck, and tonight he smelled like limes and spice and, faintly, burnt sawdust. As if he had spent the day in a lumberyard. It was a heady combination, and she inhaled, resisting the urge to kiss his skin.
It was as if he could read her mind. He drew her even closer, sending waves of nervous energy thrumming through her body. Her lips feathered against the skin of his neck and she wondered if he could feel her out-of-control heartbeat. Then again, his heartbeat seemed pretty wild as well. She could detect his pulse in his neck near her mouth, which rested lightly on his skin. It was erratic, maybe even more so than hers.
She felt his hands span her back, and shiver after shiver rippled through her. One dance. That’s all she would allow. Indecent fantasies of Leo invaded her mind as they swayed, however. She remembered one of their last times together, when she’d been on top of him…
God. She needed to get out of there. Otherwise she was perilously close to kissing him and would make a fool of herself in front of every business owner on Palmira.
“I love this version,” Leo murmured into her ear about the Radiohead cover, and Jess nodded in agreement. His voice was so sexy she could do nothing else. Somehow, her brain and her mouth were unable to form cohesive sentences, and it was tough to resist the primal urge to stroke the back of his neck. Nope, she couldn’t fight it. With an errant finger, she traced his neatly trimmed hair so softly that she hoped he didn’t notice.
“I saw you ride up on your motorcycle,” she murmured. “What kind is it? I remember you talking about bikes five years ago. You’d always dreamed of owning one.”
“A Harley,” he said. “If you’re good, I’ll give you a ride.”
Well, that made her melt all over the place. She grinned into his neck.
Leo’s hands splayed firmly across her back, one finger riding her spine, the others low, just above her butt. He felt so right that she pressed harder against him, seeking more contact with his body. Shifting his head so that his lips brushed her ear, he groaned a little.
So, she did have an effect on him. Good.
The song ended and blended into a fast, bouncy tune Jess didn’t recognize. She leaned back a few inches, captivated by Leo’s slate-colored eyes and the way he was staring at her. Like he wanted her. Like he wouldn’t take no for an answer.
He settled his hands on her waist, and she didn’t squirm away. Couldn’t. “Still wanna leave?” he asked.
She was about to answer in the negative when Megan appeared.
“My turn,” she said to Leo, grabbing his arm and tugging him to the middle of the room. His eyes were wide, and he cocked his head as if in apology to Jessica. But she didn’t understand the searching looks he gave her while the two of them danced. Why didn’t he just walk away?
&n
bsp; No. She couldn’t handle watching them dance. It was stupid and juvenile, but she gave Leo a little wave and quickly spun around and walked out of the party. Something about seeing them together conjured all the memories of her previous relationship, and it was all she could do not to cry out of frustration on the drive home. The happiness of being in his arms had evaporated.
Jessica hated feeling envious of another woman, and the shame of jealousy stung her as she stomped through the hotel and unlocked the door of her apartment on the building’s first floor. She hadn’t felt that green-eyed monster since Jacob. Still, seeing Megan with Leo had triggered all those old feelings.
Jacob had told her he’d screwed other women because she wasn’t able to please him. Would the same thing happen with Leo? Would it happen with every man she ever felt attraction to for the rest of her life?
She might as well give up now. The presence of other women would be a common scenario, she was sure. Especially if she tried to be with Leo. Obviously others would want him, and she’d forever feel like she was competing. No, she didn’t want to deal with that. Better if another, more confident woman claimed him. That way she wouldn’t get her heart broken again.
Jessica flung her purse on the kitchen counter then fell onto the sofa. Tears pricked her eyes. But then a new thought popped into her head: She was being weak, acting like a child for no reason. What the hell was wrong with her? Had Jacob left her so broken? Damn. Leo didn’t deserve her drama or her anger. He’d simply danced one dance with a woman who’d asked him, and she and Leo didn’t even have a formal relationship such a dance would betray. If Jessica was interested in him, she should make her feelings known. If he wasn’t interested, she’d just have to deal with rejection like an adult.
She paused. Maybe Leo’s return was perfectly timed. Maybe she was ready to set aside all of the old hurts, all the ancient history and her worries, both physical and emotional. Maybe she should do what Catalina suggested, set everything aside and freefall. Just let go and see where she landed.
Her mom’s journal was on the coffee table, and she turned to it with hope. Unfortunately, burying herself in the past didn’t improve her mood, because Mom’s writing only reinforced Jessica’s feelings about men. Her father Brendan had been a drinker and permanently disappeared when Jessica was small. And Jessica learned that Mom and Brendan—she couldn’t bring herself to call him Dad—had been on-and-off again for years before she was born.
NOV. 22: I tried calling Jerk-face again tonight to see if he wants to see his daughters. No answer. What kind of man would avoid these girls? On Thanksgiving, no less? Today we had a great feast, first with the hotel guests and then again with the grandparents. Nicole ate a huge piece of pumpkin pie, but Jessica only wanted the whipped cream off the chocolate cake. It was a perfect day, I just wish their dad had been around to see it.
Jessica slammed the journal shut. When had her mother had time to write? She searched her mind and vaguely recalled that her mom often sat at her desk late at night, reading glasses perched on her nose. But Jess thought she was doing hotel paperwork. If only she’d paid attention or showed some interest. Had she, maybe her mother would have shared the details of her father’s abandonment instead of keeping everything to herself. It wouldn’t have changed anything about Jessica’s life, but somehow it might have helped her understand her mother more and maybe get a clue about her own life, why she sometimes acted so afraid and hesitant.
It seemed there were a lot of good reasons.
CHAPTER SIX
Leo stood on the wide porch of The Beacon, balancing a large box of pastries in his left hand. The night’s darkness was warded off by a turquoise glow from the neon of the art deco lettering on the hotel exterior, and he could hear the waves crashing on the beach across the street. A little sign indicated that the front door was locked after ten, and to ring the bell if needed.
He pressed the buzzer with his right hand.
He’d been worried when Jessica left the party abruptly, finally extricating himself from Megan’s chatter. As he walked to his bike, intending to give chase, Catalina caught up with him to explain that Jessica was having a difficult time because of her mother’s death and a situation with her ex-boyfriend. So now all of her behavior made sense. Jessica had suffered two big losses in one year. Catalina told him the whole story, how Jacob had cheated on Jessica repeatedly, and how Jessica had been blindsided and devastated, and just when she was getting over him, her mother passed away.
Leo almost spat when he thought of Jacob. What kind of a man would do that—to Jessica, especially? If he ever met the asshole, it might be difficult not to punch him.
Waiting, Leo peered in through the glass panel in the hotel door. He could see the light from a lamp, then a form in silhouette. He knocked softly on the glass, and Jessica eased open the door with a surprised look.
He smiled. “You left the Iguana so quick, I didn’t say goodbye. I wanted to tell you I’d be over with the pastries you asked for.”
She had changed out of her sexy red dress and was wearing a bulky, fuzzy white bathrobe belted firmly at the waist. Her tawny hair was wet, and from her delicious soapy smell he guessed she had just gotten out of the shower. Barefoot, her toes sparkled with red glittery polish. Was she wearing anything underneath that robe? He wanted to undo the tie that wrapped around her waist and find out.
“Oh. Thank you.”
She stood aside and allowed him to enter the hotel’s reception area, which was illuminated by a wan desk light. Leo set his box on the desk as he watched her worry her bottom lip between her teeth. Why was she acting so nervous?
“Does your sister live here as well?” he asked.
“No, she’s married and lives a few blocks away. Technically we co-own the hotel, but I run the business most days.”
Nodding, Leo opened the top of the box and explained what each pastry was. “You should try one now. Here, I’ll split a chocolate croissant with you.”
Jessica shook her head. “No. Thank you.” She paused. “I actually wasn’t sure if you were going to come through with these, you seemed so occupied at the party.”
Leo frowned. “Occupied?”
“Yes. You and what’s-her-name, Megan, seemed to be getting along well.”
Oh, God. Jessica had misinterpreted his southern manners. Or maybe she was jealous? He hadn’t been flirting with and certainly hadn’t wanted to dance with that woman. He thought it was glaringly obvious that he’d wanted Jessica, but she’d practically sprinted off even though he sent those imploring looks toward her, hoping she’d cut in or wait while he extricated himself politely.
His mouth quirked upward. “Jess, I’m sorry. I wanted to keep dancing with you, but when she ambushed me I couldn’t be impolite.”
She shot him a stony look.
Unable to help himself, Leo laughed. Hard. “If you think I’m interested in Megan, you’re crazy. She’s so not my type.”
“I guess I don’t know what your type is, Leo. I thought I did, once.”
He couldn’t help but recognize her pointed tone, but there was nothing to be done if she refused to believe him. His type was a tawny-haired girl in a fuzzy bathrobe with sparkly red toes.
Deciding to ignore her frostiness, Leo walked around the room, looking at the seashells and the photos that lined the walls and shelves. “Am I interrupting you from something?”
She shook her head and stared. “I was reading. Just going to bed. I need to be up early.”
He glanced away from her, unable to hold her intense gaze. “What were you reading? Do you still like manga and anime?”
Jessica nodded. “Yeah. But I was reading a non-fiction book on the Everglades.”
“That was the one thing I didn’t get a chance to do when I was here last—see the alligators there. It was something I always wanted to do.”
She smiled. “I remember. So we should go.” She paused then stammered, “I mean, you should go.”
“I�
�d love to—with you. We could go on my bike. Gotta get you a helmet, though. I’ll take care of that.”
“I’d…I’d like that,” she finally said.
He perused a shelf, feeling hopeful. She’d apparently gotten over her annoyance about Megan enough to spend time with him. For a second he imagined them on his bike, her arms wrapped around him as they sped down the road. The very idea made him grin.
“This brings back memories,” he said, eyeing the contents of the lobby shelf. He glanced over at Jessica, who was standing by an overstuffed green velvet sofa, strumming her fingers on its arm. What was she like, the real adult Jessica who wasn’t racked with grief? Was she silly and funny? Serious and bookish? He wanted to find out.
“It looks exactly the same as it did five years ago. Amazing,” he continued. He ran his finger over the smooth, pink lip of a large conch shell. “I actually remember this shell. This was here back then, wasn’t it? I remember my dad picking this up and putting it to his ear and pretending it was a telephone.”
Jess nodded. “How is your dad?”
Leo released the shell and shrugged. “Fine, I guess. The same. He still worships money. And women.”
Jessica frowned. Back when they were kids, he hadn’t talked about his dad in those terms. Maybe because he hadn’t been old enough to see his father for what he really was.
“I don’t think he knows about your mom, though. I was going to tell him the next time we talk.”
“You didn’t tell him during your conversation last night?”
Oh, right. He was supposed to have called his father last night, and she’d remembered. He apparently couldn’t expect to slip anything past her.
He shook his head, then ran his fingers over some shells and framed photos of Palmira Island.
Jessica puffed out a small laugh. “Your dad. He was a piece of work. I liked him, though. I remember him being funny. He really made my mom laugh.”