I wonder how Lady Jane Grey feels.
2nd October 1553
Father came up to my little room to see how I am. He was kind, but not all that sympathetic. When he told me he would send Sal up with one of his disgusting medicines, I threw myself over in bed, and my diary fell to the floor. “Ah, the book,” he said, and opened the front cover. “I must read it when I have time – find out how my little girl sees her life.” I was horrified, but dared not let him see how I felt, in case he thought I had something to hide. I slid my book gently from his hands, and took the opportunity to ask again who gave it to him. “A lady,” he said, “just a lady.” And climbed back down the ladder. He paused at the foot of the steps and I heard him sigh, “A lady who lost her head because she angered a king.” There! Does that not prove she was Anne Boleyn? The letter must be for Princess Elizabeth.
I am going to hide my diary behind the beam above my roof hole, with the letter. It will be very inconvenient, as it is quite an effort to reach it, but that’s better than risking anyone finding it. I shall take out my diary only when Father and William are out or asleep. I do not fear Mother coming up here, and Sal only puts her head through the hatch. I have forbidden her ever to set one foot up here. If she does, I will get her into such trouble, and she knows it.
15th October 1553
Church is very different now, and I do like the statues and pictures and the beautiful stained glass windows. Looking at them helps pass the time, especially now it is colder. Sometimes my feet are so icy from the chill stone floor that they will hardly carry me out of St Peter’s. It is forbidden to say you don’t like the Catholic mass, or you do not believe in it, and we no longer use our Book of Common Prayer, which is a shame. It was easy to understand, unlike the new Latin services – they are impossible to follow and make me sleepy. Father says I can still talk to God at my nightly prayers in the way I am used to doing. But he seems troubled and says that not everyone will find it easy.
I was sitting out of the wind in a sunny corner today, watching the ravens and eating apples. Some Tower men strolled past and did not notice me. When I heard the Queen’s name mentioned, I stopped crunching and listened. They spoke of her marrying and said that she needs an heir to the throne. I cannot believe she is thinking of having a first child – she will be all of 38 in the spring.
10th November 1553
Today I saw Guilford Dudley walking with his brothers, high on the battlements of the Beauchamp Tower. It would be so wonderful if the Lady Jane was walking on the green, and looked up to see him. She cannot love him – after all she was forced to wed him – but they must have become friends. And if I were in her shoes, having any sort of friend about me would be a comfort. Any prisoner in the Tower of London must feel in danger until he or she walks out through the gates – without a guard.
Lady Jane and Guilford are to go on trial on Tuesday. Perhaps they will be able to talk to each other on the way to the Guildhall. Archbishop Cranmer and some of Guilford’s brothers will be on trial, too. I am going down to the river to watch them leave. My mother thinks that Lady Jane will lose her life, but the Queen has promised she will not, Father says. When he had left to treat Master Partridge’s wife for what he calls her “interminable aches”, Mother muttered, “King Henry was known to break promises, so why should his daughter be any different?”
14th November 1553
Mother has been out helping one of her friends who is ill after the birth of a baby. I admire her for doing that, as it is not long since – I was going to say since her own baby died, but I find myself wanting to say “my sister”. Susannah.
The trial is over. I did not see them leave – Mother knew what I was up to when I offered to go out early to buy the fish, so she sent Sal. Well, Sal saw nothing either. Halberdiers were everywhere, and they turned her away when she tried to go down to see the barge.
However, I did manage to be sitting on a step in front of the Long House of Ordnance when the Lady Jane, her husband and the other prisoners were brought back from their trial. Someone in the escort always carries an axe, and if the edge is turned away from the prisoner, he or she will live, so that is what I was keen to see. But no. The axe was turned towards the prisoners.
The Lady Jane looked even smaller than before, now she was without her finery or chopines on her feet. She wore black and carried what looked like a prayer book – it was hard to see at that distance, but she is so devout that I am sure I am right. She was unable to speak to Guilford Dudley, for they were separated by guards. How cruel. Imagine being sentenced to death when you are barely sixteen. I wonder whether Guilford will be pardoned?
17th November 1553
The Lady Jane was sentenced to be burned alive or beheaded, and the Archbishop, Guilford and his brothers were sentenced to be hanged, drawn and quartered.
Later
I am taking a chance in writing my diary now for William is thundering about downstairs, angry because Father shouted at him in front of Sal. He mixed some potion or other and got it wrong, and the poor patient was sicker than ever. Father’s potions always make me feel sick, even when he makes them. They are usually bitter.
Heard that the Queen is to marry a Catholic prince of Spain. He is Philip, the son of the Holy Roman Emperor, Charles V. I find this so strange as she has never seen him – not even a portrait.
25th December 1553, Christmas Day
I think Mother is with child again. After church today Father told me that she will need much more help than usual. That makes me cross, because I help as much as I possibly can, and I am afraid that this time Mother, not the baby, will die. It has made me realize that although I often find her unkind, I truly do love her. Sal does not know yet, but William does. He tries to act in a doctorly way with Mother, but he looks so foolish. I hope Father never lets William try to cure me of anything.
Princess Elizabeth has left London, so there is no chance of giving her the letter now, but I am sure she will return for the Queen’s marriage. Perhaps she will come to the Tower again then.
I glimpsed Lady Jane in the Lieutenant’s garden. She was well wrapped up against the bitter cold and wore mittens and held a small book, which was probably her prayer book. Father says she is allowed other books, and may walk outside the Tower under guard, so she is not uncomfortable. He knows this because Lady Jane has frequently been unwell recently, and Father has attended her. I think I would be ill if I were cooped up for too long.
1st January 1554
The start of another year. We began the last with a Protestant king, and we begin this with a Catholic queen who will marry soon and produce an heir for England.
Tom tells me that Lady Jane will be kept here until Queen Mary has her first child and the succession is safe. He speaks sense sometimes, although he is only a beast keeper. One of Mistress Partridge’s maids told Sal that Lady Jane is only allowed to walk in the Lieutenant’s garden now. She is probably better off inside – it’s so cold in the gardens with the snow lying thick on the ground.
3rd January 1554
Yesterday I was dozing (instead of sewing) in front of the fire when I was woken by the sound of gunfire thundering round the Tower walls. I dashed outside and found it was a salute to a great party of Spaniards, newly arrived, with marriage papers for the Queen to sign. They also carried chests full of gifts. Lucky Mary – all I received when I went back to the house was a boxed ear for leaving the boys unattended.
The marriage to Prince Philip grows nearer, but there are people who wish to remove Mary from the throne before it can take place. I suppose they are afraid that Spain will get a hold on our country, and rule us. I wonder who these rebels would put on the throne if they succeeded in removing the Queen. The Lady Jane? Princess Elizabeth? If the Queen knows of this, which I am sure she does, I would not wish to be in either of those ladies’ shoes.
Father says there will be blood spilt in the Tower before t
his is over. That will be nothing new – the Tower is a bloody place. They think I do not know what goes on in the dungeons, or in the cellars of the White Tower, where walls are so thick no screams can be heard. They think I do not know of the place called Little Ease, so tall and narrow that prisoners can barely sit, and can never lie down. William once delighted to tell me of such things, but now he is far too important to bother with me, strutting around like a black crow, carrying Father’s medicine chest.
14th January 1554
Queen Mary has overcome any plans the rebels might have to prevent her marriage to Philip of Spain. The marriage treaty was signed two days ago, so that is that. When I told William this, he said, “You speak rot. Girls know nothing of such matters, and if you had an ounce of sense you would realize that signing a piece of paper does not make angry men content.” He is a pig.
27th January 1554
I simply have to write in my diary tonight, even though Father is in the house, for William was right. There is an uprising. A man called Sir Thomas Wyatt has gathered an army of men and occupies the town of Rochester, in Kent. They are not just ordinary men – he even has the crews of royal ships on his side, and many Londoners are shouting for him, too.
Apparently Lady Jane’s father, the Duke of Suffolk, is supporting Wyatt. That must mean they intend to put her on the throne a second time. This is like a war, and Wyatt will come to London. I know what that will mean. “Matilda, do not set foot outside the Tower walls.” I shall just have to keep out of Father’s way, so I do not hear those words. If I do not hear them, I cannot disobey them!
Later
My big ears have discovered that Sir Thomas Wyatt is the son of a poet who once admired Princess Elizabeth’s mother, Anne Boleyn. Maybe he wants to put Princess Elizabeth on the throne instead. I could have a letter for our future queen – how exciting!
2nd February 1554
I have no need to be told not to stir outside the Tower. This is the safest place in London and I am glad to be here. While she was out shopping in the city, Mother heard that Wyatt was marching towards London, right this minute, with an army of more than 50,000 men! London Bridge and all the city gates are being strongly guarded. She hurried home as fast as she could (considering her condition) and says she is not leaving these walls until all is peaceful.
Sal started sobbing. “Oh, please’m,” she cried, “don’t send me out to market, the soldiers might kill me.” Mother looked at her crossly and said, “Get on with those parsnips, you silly creature,” and I said, “Goodness, Sal, what a fuss you do make,” and she glared at me through her tears. All she has done since is lurk in corners, looking whey-faced.
In truth, I do not blame her for being afraid.
3rd February 1554
I keep my diary beneath my pillow again, for everyone is so busy that it is quite safe. If Wyatt comes to London, he is sure of a good fight, because the Queen made such a rousing speech that she now has thousands and thousands more people on her side. So let him come! The Tower guns are ready, for through my roof hole I have seen ammunition being wheeled from the Long House of Ordnance down to the Water Gate, so the soldiers are well prepared.
Later
The Yeoman Warders are really angry! They have heard that Wyatt is demanding that the Queen should surrender her throne and the Tower! Ridiculous – no one can take this place from the people who love it, and that means all of us who live here. Wyatt and his rebels are camped across the river, and the whole of London is ready for battle.
Sal heard that poor Tom was sent to buy meat for the beasts and was unable to find any, for all shops and market stalls are shut up, and the streets are quiet and still. He has to hunt for rats instead.
4th February 1554
All that talk of 50,000 rebels was just tittle-tattle! Wyatt had scarcely more than 3,000 men, a Chief Yeoman Warder said. We are well guarded. There is nothing to worry about. But I know one person who must be crazed with fear – Lady Jane Grey. If Wyatt should not succeed, then surely her father, Suffolk, will be put to death. He has been a wicked, unfeeling father to her, I know, but she must care something for him. This is a bad time for her. Father says she keeps to her rooms, and I do not blame her. She has not yet been pardoned.
6th February 1554
The city is safe! Wyatt has gone. There is now no sign of his men on the south side of the river, so it is all over. The sight of the Tower of London with cannons lined up on the wharf, and our strong, determined soldiers ready to defend us, must be enough to scare anybody. The Tower has been here for nearly 500 years and will, I hope, be here for 500 more. By then the city will be bigger, as even now there are so many people coming in from the country to live here. And perhaps more people will have houses of their own, who knows?
7th February 1554
We were wrong in thinking we were safe. Wyatt had not returned to Kent. He went west and crossed the river on the other side of London. Then he marched his men, who were rather tired and hungry, into London early this morning. There was much fighting with the Queen’s men on the way, first at St James’s, and then at Charing Cross. We could hear it from here! By then, Wyatt did not have so many supporters, as lots had deserted. The Chief Yeoman Warder had reports of fighting and terror at Whitehall Palace.
It must be so hard to be queen when you are threatened by others, for you must appear to be strong, so that others around you do not lose heart and flee. And Mary was strong, for she ordered everyone to start praying. God certainly answered their prayers, because Wyatt gave himself up not long afterwards, and just two hours ago, he arrived here in the Tower! Not in the way he imagined, of course, but cold, tired, and miserable. One of the soldiers who handed him to the Tower guards had a slight arrow wound in his leg, and Father was called to tend him. Sal, as usual, went white at the sight of the blood on Father’s cuff, so I had to scrub it, but that is how I heard all the news and how I know that Wyatt is in the Bell Tower. He will not sleep tonight. If I know the warders, they will make sure he doesn’t. A man who threatens to invade the Tower is not a welcome guest!
8th February 1554
There is no pardon for Lady Jane.
9th February 1554
Lady Jane Grey and Guilford Dudley should be executed today. But I do not feel sad – because they are still alive! The date has been changed to the 12th.
Guilford will certainly die, but there is still hope for Lady Jane. Queen Mary has been merciful, and yesterday sent her own confessor, Doctor Feckenham, whom Father knows well, to reason with her and to get her to renounce her faith and become a Catholic. As I see it, if she does change, the Protestants will no longer wish to put her on the throne, so she will not be a threat to Mary. Changing will surely be no problem. She is not, after all, being asked to give up God.
10th February 1554
Doctor Feckenham is still with Lady Jane. There is no news.
11th February 1554
Doctor Feckenham visited Father today. He looks exhausted and aged, although he is not quite as old as Father. I sat by the window with some breeches I am mending for William, who is as careless with his clothes now as he was when he was a boy playing round the workshops and stables. I listened carefully, and this is what I discovered. Suffolk has been captured and brought to the Tower. He was discovered hiding in a hollow tree! What a ridiculous way to behave, when I remember that he was for nine days the father of the queen. He will surely die, Doctor Feckenham said, and is in such a poor state that Father may be visiting him soon.
It became difficult for me to hear the conversation then, for Doctor Feckenham dropped his voice as he spoke of his talks with Lady Jane. Luckily, Father called for more wine, and I poured it very slowly and carefully, and could hear much better. It seems Lady Jane will not change her faith. She debated her beliefs with Doctor Feckenham, and was solid and resolved and would not be moved. He will not give up either, he says, and is to visit her again tonigh
t. Then I realized with a shock that the good Doctor is not here to save Jane’s life. The Queen sent him to save her soul. Mary sees Jane as a heretic – someone of the wrong faith. So, come what may, the execution will take place tomorrow. Poor, poor Jane.
12th February 1554
Through my roof hole I am watching the final touches being put to the scaffold on Tower Green. It is draped in black, and straw has already been strewn around the block to catch the blood. There is no axe yet. The executioner will bring that. I wonder if Mother will let us watch. We usually do, on Tower Hill, but this is the first execution within the Tower walls since I was about one and a half years old. Mother says that was a double execution – a queen and her lady – and tomorrow is the twelfth anniversary of those deaths. I do not remember them, of course, but I will certainly remember this. There have only been five executions on Tower Green, but there have been many, many deaths in other parts of the Tower – some we never hear about. This bloody Tower.
Bloody Tower Page 5