A sense of pride washes over me at my ability to bring these boys together. I look up to see Amber staring at me. “There you go.”
“You didn’t have to do that.”
“Why not? It’s for a good cause, right?”
“It is.”
“Then it all worked out,” I inform her.
“And you can count us in, too,” Ellie adds.
And she really had to go and do that? Come on now. Because I can, I elbow her in the back.
Amber’s eyes widen. “Wow. Okay, then.”
Ellie shoos her away with a wave of her hand. “Now scoot. Go hang out with the team. They need to get to know you.”
As soon as she’s out of hearing range, Ellie turns to me. “Why in the world would you do that?”
“Why not? She looks like she needs a friend. This way, she’s got a whole team of them.” I’m not about to tell her that I did it for Spencer. I’m not sure what his relationship is with Amber right now, but this is the easiest way for me to act as though I’m not bothered by it.
“I’m talking about the charity thing?” she notes.
“Oh. Well, Spencer’s in charge as the team’s captain, so I figured I’d help him out a little.”
“Noelle Dexter, do you have a sweet spot for my brother?”
Oh, God. I shake my head no, looking away so she won’t notice the heat crawling up my face. “Not a chance. He’s got a lot of work ahead of him. Just thought I’d lend a hand.”
Ellie doesn’t look convinced.
Noelle’s Journal
Dear Universe,
I have no sweet spots. You hear me? And since you don’t recognize the word don’t, I’m going to put a positive spin on this. Ready? Okay. I want Ellie to remain oblivious regarding what’s going on with me and Spencer. Oh. Add temporarily to that. Regarding what’s temporarily going on with me and Spencer. Got it? Key words: oblivious and temporary. Thanks.
27
Noelle
Monday, November 21st
“HEY, NOELLE,” PATRICK BENNE GREETS as he comes up to the bar. “You seen Kaufman today?”
I shake my head, wiping down the bar while I wait for Lance to get the last order I put in ready. “Not today, no.”
He looks perplexed, his forehead wrinkled as he peers around. “What about Amber?”
“Nope.”
I want to ask him, “What about my sister?” but I don’t. I’ve tried twice to talk to Julie about Benne. She told me to butt out of her business. And she meant it, so I did.
“I saw them leave the practice rink together,” he rambles on, “I heard them mention they were meeting her parents. I thought for sure they’d be stopping by here.”
My arm stops moving at this news, but I quickly pull myself together, hoping Benne didn’t notice my hesitancy. Spencer and Amber? Her parents?
Oh, my God.
It’s been three weeks since Spencer came over on Halloween. During that time, we’ve spent a lot of time naked together. I continue to tell myself it’s not serious, but sometimes that’s hard to believe. I’m still working hard to ensure no one figures this out, so we can’t do much of anything that isn’t at my apartment. I don’t want someone to see us and I’ve explained that to Spencer. He agreed, and now I have to wonder if he had an ulterior reason for that.
Is he seeing Amber, too?
“I’m sure they’ll turn up,” I tell him before slipping into the kitchen to grab the food.
After making a quick delivery, I sneak to the hallway that leads to the restrooms and lean against the wall.
I can’t let this bother me. Spencer and I didn’t agree to be exclusive, but by God, he should tell me if he is going to see Amber behind my back. I mean, come on.
I take a deep breath. Exhale slowly.
Maybe I’m jumping to conclusions. Maybe this is innocent. They work together; surely they are going to talk. Perhaps have a business meeting over dinner. According to Spencer, there are more charity events coming up, and he has to be front and center. I know this is true. After all, I am the one who pulled the entire team together to help out with the food drive that’s going down in just two days.
Her parents could be here for that. We could use all the help we can get. Thanks to my offering free beer for a month, every single Arrows player is going to pitch in, but there’s still a demand for more assistance packaging it all up.
Yes. That’s what they’re doing. They’re probably nailing down the last details.
God, I hope that’s what they’re doing.
Shit. This is not the time for me to freak and go all jealous-girlfriend. I’m not either of those things—jealous or his girlfriend.
I should simply talk to him. Ask him about it. Listen to his side of the story.
Or…
I can act as though I don’t know. See if he’s willing to tell me what’s going on.
Or…
I can forget all about Spencer and go back to wishing the universe would get its butt in gear and send a guy my way. A real one. One who doesn’t hang out with his ex-girlfriend and her freaking parents.
“Hey, you all right?”
Standing up straight, I come face-to-face with my best friend. “Yeah. Just a little tired, I guess.” It’s true. I am tired. Mentally, physically … emotionally. I don’t elaborate, though.
“Why don’t you head out? I can handle anything that comes up tonight. You’ll be handling it all tomorrow night while I’m at the game anyway.”
I hate to do that to Ellie, but in order to make this look like something it’s not, I really have to take her up on the offer.
“That’d be great. A hot bath and a glass of wine are calling my name.”
“Yeah. You better hop to it. It’s going to be a long week. Thanksgiving is in a couple of days. You gonna go to your parents?”
“Yeah ... uh … no. They’re going on a mini-vacation for Thanksgiving,” I tell her. They do this from time to time. It’s sometimes hard to believe they aren’t newlyweds.
“Well, then you can come to Kingston’s with me and Bianca.”
I shake my head. “I can’t impose like that.”
“You’re not imposing. His brothers and dad are coming down. Plus, Spencer’s already agreed to come. The more the merrier.”
It pisses me off that I immediately wonder if Amber’s going to be there, too. I don’t want to care about that shit.
“Okay, sure.” It’s not like I can get out of this, and I really don’t want to spend Thanksgiving by myself with a TV dinner.
“Yay!” Ellie hugs me quickly. “Now go home and rest. I’ll talk to you tomorrow.”
“Is there anything I can bring to dinner?” I inquire as I start down the hall.
“Just your best jokes. You know how Heath and Scott are.”
“True.” With that, I offer a quick wave, remove my apron, and grab my keys from behind the bar.
A bath and a glass of wine does sound perfect right about now. And if I’m lucky, I’ll drink the whole bottle and forget all about the fact that Spencer is out with Amber tonight.
Innocent or not, I still don’t like it.
Which only pisses me off.
At myself.
Spencer
WHEN AMBER ASKED IF I’D give her a ride home, I didn’t hesitate to say yes. Come to find out, someone slashed her tires in the parking lot. There’s no question as to who did it, but Amber’s father insisted on having the car towed somewhere to get new tires put on, leaving her without a car until they could come get her. Since I’m heading to the Penalty Box anyway, it’s not too far out of my way.
“Thanks,” she says, wringing her hands in her lap as she stares out the window. “I’m so sorry for being such a pain in the ass.”
“You’re not a pain in the ass. And it’
s no problem.” I glance at her. “Amber, you really have to do something about this guy.”
Her head snaps toward me, her eyes angry. “Like what? You think that there’s something I can say to make him go away?”
Okay, so that’s the first spark of anger I’ve seen from her during this whole mess. I’m so startled I can’t think of anything to say.
She sighs. “He’s not going to stop.” Her tone reflects her defeat. “Not until he kills me.”
I frown. “Has he threatened to kill you?”
Amber laughs, but there’s no humor in the sound. “Only a million times.”
Holy shit.
Unsure what to say, I focus on driving, trying to imagine the hell this woman has been through.
Amber eventually breaks the silence. “It took me years to finally get up the courage to leave him. I won’t deny it, it wasn’t easy. Although it was hell, it seemed the lesser of two evils. I loved him. Or thought I did. I always found myself weighing the good and the bad. He wasn’t always an asshole, but when he was, Will was brutal. He had me so beaten down I didn’t think I was capable of having a life without him. And when I finally did scrounge up the nerve, he acted as though he didn’t care. Told me he could do so much better than me.”
I pull up to Amber’s house, not sure how to respond to that. I could build her up, tell her she’s made the right decision, but it’s not my place. Again, I don’t know the first thing about this. I’ve never felt helpless before, but I do now. She’s been through hell, obviously.
“Thanks for the ride.” She reaches for the door handle. “I’ll see you tomorrow. Then it’s bright and early on Wednesday.”
“Yep.”
Her eyes lock on my face. “Please don’t tell anyone about this. I don’t want anyone feeling sorry for me. I’m going to get through it.”
I want to argue with her. I want to tell her that she’s got more friends than she thinks, and if she’ll let them help her, she won’t have to go through this alone. Will has managed to keep her separated from people who care about her. Until she’s willing to open up and let them in, he’s still winning.
The bastard.
But I nod anyway. It’s her life. Her story to tell.
And as much as I wish I could, I can’t fix this for her.
Noelle’s Journal
Dear Universe,
How about a truce? You and me can be best buds again. I’d like that. Wouldn’t you?
28
Noelle
Wednesday, November 23rd
I HAVE NEVER WELCOMED THE presence of two ’tween girls the way I have today. This morning, when we set out to deliver food, Bianca asked if she could go with Spencer and me. I, of course, was elated. The last thing I want is to be left alone with him.
I haven’t talked to him in a couple of days. Nothing other than some innocuous text messages anyway. He’s been busy; I’ve pretended to be busy. It’s worked out well. He hasn’t mentioned Amber, and I haven’t mentioned that I know about them, either.
It took a little over three hours to deliver the food, and after dropping Bianca and Gabby at Gabby’s house, I’m looking forward to going home alone. Unfortunately, Spencer doesn’t seem to catch on that I’m not interested in being around him. We took his truck today because it was easier to load everything into the back. My car’s still waiting for me.
“You want to grab dinner?”
I glance over at him, shaking my head. “Not really hungry.” It’s a lie, but so what.
“Noelle…” He looks confused. “Is something wrong?”
“Of course not. Why would anything be wrong?”
Spencer shrugs. “We’re going to dinner.”
“No,” I bark.
Yeah, okay, so now he definitely knows something is wrong.
“I’m tired of this shit,” he grumbles.
“What shit?” Now I’m pissed.
“You wanting to keep this a secret.”
I pretend to not know what he’s talking about. It’s the only way I can cope. “Keep what a secret?”
“Don’t be dense, Noelle. It’s not becoming.”
“Fuck you.” And there it is. My inner demon has come out, bright and shiny for all the world to see.
“This thing between us—”
I quickly cut him off. “There’s no thing. And there’s no us.”
To my horror, Spencer veers off into a parking lot and comes to an abrupt stop. He turns to me, his face a mask of fury. “What the hell is going on with you?”
“Me? What about you? And Amber? Did you leave something out, Spencer? Did you forget to tell me how much time you’re spending with her?”
I slap my hand over my mouth. I can’t believe I just said that. It’s not the way to handle things if I don’t want him to know that I’m far too emotionally invested in this thing between us.
“What the hell are you talking about?”
I narrow my eyes on him. “Don’t be dense, Spencer. It’s not becoming,” I say, mocking him. “Please, take me back to my car. Right now.”
“No.”
Is he serious? “What are you gonna do? Kidnap me?”
“If I have to.”
“I hate you right now.” I know I sound like a petulant child, but it’s true. I don’t want to be anywhere near him. He makes me feel too much. He makes me want too much. I don’t like it.
“You say there’s no thing between us, yet you’ve practically moved me into your apartment,” he snaps.
“What? Are you fucking crazy?” He has to be.
His eyebrow lifts in challenge. “An extra toothbrush. Shampoo in the shower. You even gave me an alarm clock, Noelle.”
A laugh bubbles out of me. “Oh, my God! You are so full of yourself. Those things aren’t for you.”
I lean away from him as his expression changes from irritation to pure menace. “Is there another guy, Noelle?”
Again, I laugh. It’s ridiculous, really. “Not yet, no,” I impart. “But there will be.” I hope.
“What the hell does that mean?”
“Have you heard of The Secret?”
“What secret?”
“Not what. The. It’s a book. Positive thinking. I’m letting the universe know that I’m ready for a relationship. With a real man.”
His eyebrows dart downward. “What the hell does that mean?”
“It means that this thing between us is over, Spencer. I shouldn’t have been so stupid. I’m supposed to be holding out for the right man. Not sleeping with you. It’s clearly throwing off my communication to the universe.”
He looks amused and that pisses me off.
“Take me to my car.”
“Fine.” He shoots a glare my way. “But this is far from over.”
Yeah. That’s what he thinks.
Spencer
I TAKE NOELLE BACK TO her car but only because I need a few minutes to cool down. I have no fucking clue what the hell is going on. Hearing her babble about secrets and positive thinking has twisted my brain into a knot.
Nevertheless, I let her out of my truck and wait for her to leave. I follow her right out of the parking lot and all the way back to her apartment. I have to race out of the truck to catch up before she can lock me out of the apartment. No way am I letting this go tonight. We have some shit to talk about. And it’s high time we have that conversation, because no way am I letting her send me on my way.
“I don’t want to talk to you,” she grumbles as she unlocks her door.
“Too bad.”
She only halfheartedly tries to shut the door in my face. That’s a good sign.
The woman leaves me standing in the living room. I hear her stomp to her bedroom. Screw it. I follow her. It’s time we figure this shit out. Clearly we’re not on the same page. I’m sure
that’s partly my fault, but I’m getting so many fucking mixed signals from this woman.
I find Noelle in her closet. She returns with my hockey stick in her hand. She shoves it toward me.
“Here. Take this. I don’t need it anymore. I definitely am not interested in a hockey player. They infuriate me.”
I take the stick but set it against the wall, then stalk her toward the bed. Before she can dart around me, I take her down to the mattress. With her hands in mine, I hold them above her head, straddling her legs.
“Stop,” I insist when she starts bucking against me. “Unless you want me to strip you naked right here.”
She goes completely still, her eyes glowing with fury.
I have to bite my lip to keep from smiling. I release her hands and sit up, still straddling her legs.
“Tell me more about this positive thinking thing.”
“No.”
“I can sit here all night, Noelle. I’m a very patient man.”
“No, you’re not.”
That’s true, but I don’t tell her that. I simply wait her out.
“It’s none of your business. I’d appreciate if you’d leave.”
“Not happening.”
I want to kiss her so badly my lips twitch with the need. I want to feel the warmth of her body on mine, to slide deep inside her until she can no longer deny that she belongs to me. And only me. Screw the universe or whatever the hell she’s talking about.
“Why are you spending so much time with Amber?” she asks, her voice softer than before.
“I’m not.” Even as I say that, I realize it’s not the complete truth. I have spent a lot of time with Amber. Not the way Noelle thinks, though.
“I can lie here all day,” she says, once again mimicking me.
“Good.” I grin, reaching down for the button on her jeans. “Let’s get comfortable then.”
Noelle slaps my hand away. If I weren’t so focused on her eyes, I wouldn’t notice the tears that spring up. My throat instantly goes dry.
“You’re serious,” I tell her. “You think something’s going on with me and Amber.”
Kaufman: The Season (Austin Arrows Book 2) Page 21