by Ashley Beale
Once we leave, Avery opens my door for me and lets me climb in, closing it before running around to his side. He slides in and gives my shoulder a little punch. "Cheer up sunshine. You should be excited."
"I'm scared, Avery." I look down at my hands laying limp in my lap, nervous about admitting things to him.
His hand grabs into one of my mine and his thumb runs along the back of my hand. "Me too, angel."
"Is it wrong of me to say that I hope the baby is yours?" I close my eyes as if it would hide me from the embarrassment of admitting that to him. I really want to dig myself into a whole when there is no answer right off, but I don't open my eyes and I don't repeat myself.
Without a word still, Avery slips his hand away from mine and I can feel tears starting to well behind my closed lids. I didn't expect that reaction at all. The car purrs as he starts it up, and I finally open my eyes, just to look out the window. When Avery pulls out of the parking lot, he doesn't head back towards the apartment, instead he heads in the opposite direction. I don't bother asking where we're going, because I don't think I want to know.
I close my eyes and allow myself to hum along to the radio, trying to ease my disappointment in Avery. No, not in Avery actually, but in myself. It’s my fault. It has been from the beginning. I wanted to be a slut. I wanted the college life. Freedom, sex, fun. Well with all that, I also got the realization that karma is a bitch, and has decided to burn my ass big time. I should have stuck with my plan and never fell in love. I should have just slept around, using condoms of course- not that I regret my baby- and I should have waited until after college and a few years of a career to fall in love. I should have been smarter about things. But I wasn't, and here I am.
At some point I must've fallen asleep, because Avery pushes at my leg and tells me to come on. My body feels shaky from not being asleep long and I groan out, not wanting to move from my spot. When he laughs at me, I open my eyes at him and realize we're in a large parking lot. I sit up and look around. "Sea World, really?"
"Yeah, come on. I got something to show you."
I roll my eyes but I can't help the butterflies. Just remembering the last time he brought me here. It was sweet, romantic, fun. Its a day etched in my memory that I relive now and again in my dreams. Maybe that is what this is? Maybe I'm still actually asleep and this is all my imagination.
Avery pulls on my arm when I'm not walking his desired speed and a huff out in annoyance. "Stop it or I'm going to start calling you princess."
"I just want to go home, Avery. I don't want to watch the damn whales again."
He pauses and turns towards me, looking a little hurt actually. "What is your deal? I'm trying to do something special with you. I get you're fucking knocked up but it doesn't mean you have to a bitch when I'm doing everything to make you happy."
Ouch. I want to apologize, cry, and scream all at once. Oh the emotions of being pregnant, confused, and in love, they sure have an effect on me. "Sorry," I mumble.
He runs his hands over his face before dropping them at his side, exasperated by everything. "Look, I'm sorry, too. I should have answered you back there-"
"No," I interrupt him. "Stop right there. I don't want to discuss it. I got my answer."
I start walking towards the entrance and he keeps up his pace with me. "I didn't though."
"I said whatever." I really don't want to discuss this right now. I just want to get past it, move on, and do my best to enjoy my day. It’s my own fault, I need to stop taking my anger with myself out on Avery. He really has been good to me.
Avery has me laughing and smiling minutes after arriving, and continues to do so as we visit a few different exhibits. Two hours in, feeling exhausted, he asks if I'm ready for something to eat, and of course I am. After grabbing some pizza slices and soda, he walks me over to where the overpass is. Where I said one day I wanted to get married, and I'm even more taken aback than I was the first time I visited this glorious place.
Streamers and balloons decorate the area, and absolutely no one is around but us. Avery stands us together as the water surrounds us, sea creatures swimming above, minding their own business but giving off an even more beautiful effect. "Cassandra," he says my full name with a thick, husky tone. It grabs my attention and causes my heart to start pounding extra hard.
"Avery?" I croak out.
"I know this isn't the best timing but I've been planning this for a few days and I want to get this all out in the open."
I inhale a large breath and prepare myself for what Avery is about to tell me. I think I'm going to be very happy, but there is no guarantee. Those seconds of waiting for him to continue his speech feel like hours and I'm feeling the sweat start to accumulate on the back of my neck.
"When I came back here, I have to admit, it wasn't all for you. I put in for a few colleges and got accepted to them all. I thought about NYU for a long time but I felt bad leaving my family that far behind. Then I knew they might follow and didn't want them moving across the US just for me."
My body starts to shake but I don't interrupt, I let him go. I see the struggle he has telling me this, so I continue to be patient, even as the tears threaten my eyes.
"San Diego stuck out the most, and I kept thinking about you. I wanted to know if you grew up to be beautiful like I always knew you'd be. I wanted to know if you were tall or short, if your hazel eyes stayed more brown or green, if you were going to remain smart or let peer pressure take you over. I remembered kissing you for the first time, and your lips tasted like oranges from that stupid Chapstick stuff you were obsessed with.
So I finally asked my dad to check in with your dad, to see if you were going to school there. When I found out you were, I thought I'd give it a shot as well. I was glad I'd have a friend, and I had plans to catch up with you. What I didn't plan was to be stopped in place at the view of you. Cassie," he pauses, placing his hands upon my cheeks and wiping at the tears with the pad of his thumb. "I almost stopped breathing when I saw you."
More tears fall but he doesn't stop. His eyes look directly into mine and they tell me he is being completely honest with everything he is saying. "I wanted to stay away, knowing I wasn't the best for you, knowing you weren't the best for me, but when I kept seeing you with Carson, I got so jealous. I couldn't do it. I couldn't stay away. Then I fell so fucking hard for you, Cassie. So damn hard."
My lips start to shake as I'm about to speak but he shakes his head at me. "Wait, Cassie, just wait. We say a lot of things to each other that is just wrong. We hurt each other so much, and I get it, I really do. We both are trying to save our hearts and egos, but its too late. Its dumb. We're both ridiculously in love with one another and we need to stop bringing the other one down. I want to support you, no matter what, and I can only hope you feel the same way."
"I do, Avery," I interrupt.
"I don't care if this baby is Pierce's, or if this baby is mine, because you're the mother. That is enough for me. Cassie, I want to spend forever with you. And no, I'm not asking you to marry me right now, because damn we have way too much to work out, but I want to ask you to try with me. Once and for all, I want it you and me, forever."
I have to nearly beg my lungs to take a full breath as I practically hyperventilate over everything Avery just said to me. I really have to be dreaming, right? This cannot be real. After everything. After almost two years of the uttermost craziness, this cannot be real right now. Can it?
His hand dips into his pocket and he pulls out a gold band that looks to be from a fifty cent machine. I blink away the blurriness in my eyes and smile down at the ring between his finger and thumb. "Cassie, until we figure this out for real, I want this to be a stand in. I promise you, no matter what, you're it for me. You're mine and only mine. Forever. For always."
I start to sob as he slides it onto my hand. It barely goes over my knuckle, which has me laughing between he sobs. I know its not real, and I know he didn't ask me to marry him, but really, I think every
thing he just did is so much better.
"Avery, I promise you in return that I love you, and you're it for me as well." I wrap my arms around his shoulders and bring my lips closer to him. "Thank you, Avery. For telling me the truth, for being there for me, for not giving up. For loving me. For letting me love you."
Our lips collide and I can feel the electricity flow right through me. Everything is right in the world.
All the ciaos, all the craziness, all the tragedy. Everything we've been through. Everything finally makes sense.
There has been some issues with the companies merging together, more so than we thought, and no one can figure out the reasons behind it. However, I already know some of it has to do with the tension between Miah and me. We've both done everything to be professional but every time we're in a room together too long, everything becomes a mess, and the companies are starting to pay for it.
It's really not just us though. I can't figure out what else is going on that is causing everything to fault. The outlines, the charts, all of it, it flowed. So tonight we're having a meeting with the board of directors, my father, Evan, myself, Miah and oddly enough, her brother.
Now that our companies have connected, he has had a more leading role in everything. Although his services are still in the administrative assistant field, its not answering phones and booking appointments anymore. Hiring someone this time around was much easier though, and I enjoy his replacement. Plus, I don't see him nearly as much.
On the way into the meeting, my phone vibrates in my pocket and I see a text from Cassie. It's as if she is even too afraid to call me now, ever since we swapped belongings a few weeks ago.
Friday the 18th at 2pm if you can be there. Hope all is well.. *C.
I sign and slide the phone back into my pocket without responding. I can't wait for this appointment to be over with. As heartbroken as I'd be, I want to hear the words "Avery is the father." Then I can fully disconnect myself from the situation, focus on my career, and eventually I can piece my damn heart back together. Yeah, like that'll ever happen.
Kal is the only other one in the room when I walk into the room. He smiles at me and rubs his hands on his pants as if he is nervous. "Hey Kal," I say, being respectful, even if he still irritates me. I don't know what it is about him that annoys me, but I can't seem to get past it.
"Hey," he says back with a nod of the head. He looks around the room, focusing on anything but me.
I open my folder up and take a quick look at my notes. As far as finances go, everything is wonderful. Marketing is fine, production is great. Its as if the only problem at all is with one another, yet we put on our faces and pretend its all okay. I can just picture how this meeting is going to go.
I look up with I hear Evan talking. More like laughing. I haven't seen him laugh much, so it surprises me a lot actually. He hangs up the phone when he walks in, says his greeting to Kal first, then to me. The three of us talk, even though I can feel the awkwardness there already, until the room slowly fills up. Of course the last one to walk in is Miah, dressed like a damn hooker.
I didn't know you had to wear a red skirt, heels and a way too tight blank tank top to a meeting where half the members are your family. I swear she is trying to drive me insane on purpose. The worse thing about it is the fact its working.
The meeting starts and it takes over a half hour before everyone starts to get frustrated by the fact we can't figure out what’s the most frustrating. Yeah, its really that annoying. Eventually I close my books, lean back, and watch it all take place. The arguing, the blaming, the... seduction?
Fuck.
Miah glares at me from the other side of the table, the top of her pen between her teeth as she turns it about. The edge of her tongue flickers out for just a quick, teasing moment. I can feel the strain against my zipper but since its concealed, I don't bother to adjust myself yet. I continue to watch her hooded gaze, wondering what she is trying to pull with me right now.
And dammit if I'm not even more turned on as her fingers go up and run along her collar bone before fixing the placement of her hair, tucking some of the short strands behind her ear. Her eyes never leave me. Mine never leave her either, but they wander, especially to the top of her cleavage. Those breasts. Dear god, I want them in my mouth again.
Wait. I need to stop this.
I clear my throat, adjust myself, then do my best to pay attention to what is being said. It takes all my effort not to look over at Miah again. I can feel her watching me and I can't quite figure out if I like it or not.
My thoughts start to wander even more, thinking about Miah laying there handcuffed on her bed, ready for me to fuck her with both my mouth and my cock. Then I'm brought back to the here and now when Evan flies out of his seat and starts screaming in my father's face. Shit, I really should have been paying more attention.
I get up out of my chair as well, and pull my brother away from my father, not even knowing what is being yelled right. He tries to fight me off at first but I eventually get him out of the room. Slamming the door closed, I shove at my brother, letting his arms go. "Office. Now."
His nostrils flare in irritation as chest heaves. He is royally pissed and I really don't have a fucking clue why. Without arguing, surprisingly, he walks towards his office and starts pacing once he gets inside. I close the door a lot quieter than moments ago.
"What the fuck?" I snap at him.
He continues pacing, shaking his head, mumbling different things under his breath. When he finally looks at me, he starts shaking his head. "I don't know what to do! I'm sorry for fucking blowing up in there," he points towards where the meeting room would be, "but fuck!"
"Dude, Evan, I have no idea what is happening."
He throws himself down in the chair and covers his face with his hands, groaning against his palms. I can hear him mumbling again and decide to give him a few moments to settle down. It's around three minutes later when he finally drops his hands from his face and I stare into his bloodshot eyes.
"I'm leaving Alyssa. I feel like a fucking douche for doing it, but I'm in love with someone else. All my anger, guilt, confusion, I don't know, its kind of taking a toll on me. I just kind of... snapped." He shakes his head again, and drops it. Me, well, I'm just fucking stunned as shit. I know him and Alyssa haven't been doing well in quite some time, in fact, since she was pregnant this last time I believe, but I didn't expect my brother to be in love with someone.
I clear my throat as I think of something to ask. "Does she know?"
"That I'm leaving?" he asks without looking up.
"Yeah. Have you guys talked about this shit yet?"
He slowly nods his head. "Yeah, man, she knows. We officially separated three days ago. We want to get along for the kids, and damn I love the kids, and I know I'm confusing them. I'm confusing me. Dad is already disappointed in me, and now he is going to be worse. Is it bad I'm scared of my father's approval and I'm almost thirty?"
He looks up at me like a damn lost dog and my heart hurts for my brother. I know how it is to love someone, and to hurt those people you love. I've never been married and I don't have kids, so I don't understand that aspect, but the rest of it, yeah I get it.
"Maybe, but its dad. I know how it is." I grab the other office chair and place it next to my brother, sitting down so we can have a conversation. "Don't worry though. After the disappointment of the situation, he'll get over it and focus on the fact you're a good guy. You're a great father, a great son, and a great businessman. Whatever dad doesn't agree with, he'll get over."
"Not this time." He looks over at the door and completely ignores me. I've never seen Evan this way and I'm not sure what to do about it.
"Evan?" He still doesn't look at me and I can see it. There is something more. Something he is really terrified of. "I'm sure you're terrified but..."
His head turns in my direction and his eyes well up with tears. I think the last time I saw my brother cry, besides when he held his
children for the first time, was when he broke his ankle at sixteen. It's very strange and cuts me off mid-sentence.
"Pierce, this is different. I've only told two people, one being Alyssa. I thought telling her was hard, but telling you and dad and mom. This isn't easy at all. You're my family and I only want you guys to support me." A few tears start to fall and as he wipes at them, he lifts his head to the ceiling. I'm so damn confused, I just sit here speechless, completely baffled. "I'm in love with Kal."
Kal?
Kal.
As in my old secretary Kal? Wait... my brother is... my brother is gay? My brother is gay. Shit. Out of all the things he has told me since we've been in this room, that is the very last thing I expected.
I have to sit and think about it all for a second. Not just the fact that my brother is married with two kids and is leaving them for another man, but also the fact we just merged with his family's company. His family- which means Miah, too. This is a large prescription of fucked up.
But am I disappointed? Well... no. Confused? Most definitely. Sad for my brother? Yeah, incredibly. Do I still love my brother and support him? Tell the end of the world.
"Evan," I say, noticing my voice is hoarse, so I clear my throat. "If you're happy, I'm happy, man. I don't think any less of you." I'm not sure what you're supposed to say when someone comes out of the closet- congratulations just doesn't seem quite right.
Apparently what I said was enough, because Evan actually looks at me again, apparently surprised. "You're not ashamed of me?"
"Fuck no," I tell him, which causes him to smile some. "Never in a million years expected it, so don't get me wrong, I'm shocked, but never ashamed."
He nods his head and smiles a little larger than before. "Thanks Pierce."
I stand up and look towards the door. "Think we should head back in there?"
He snorts out a laugh. "Yeah, let’s get this shit over with. Once you admit your feelings for Miah, I bet this company will run just smoothly."