by Lisa Edward
“So everyone thought your mum had given birth overseas?”
“Everyone except Prue’s mum. She knew that Mum had bribed the doctor to forge the paperwork. She was also the only one who knew that my dad had been thinking with his dick, and hadn’t found out how old Carmella was before he slept with her.”
“Oh, shit. She was underage.”
Cole’s fingers ran through my hair. “Yeah, so pretty much, Dad could have gotten into all sorts of trouble, not to mention Mum for bribing the doctor, and the doctor himself for his conduct.”
“So that explains why you said that you were your mum’s problem,” I pondered. “Doesn’t really explain why she’s such a bitch though.”
He repositioned us so I was on my back. He was resting up on his elbow, facing me.
“Babe, you don’t know the half of some of the horrible things she’s done. When I was a kid …”
His voice drifted off, like the memories were too painful to say out loud. As his fingertips absentmindedly traced around my collarbone I looked up at his face. Deep, dark pools reflected years of hurt at the hands of the woman who was supposed to be his caregiver, his protector.
“When did you find out she wasn’t really your mum?” I asked.
He shrugged. “I pretty much always knew. Whenever Dad was away, she would let me know that I wasn’t wanted, that she despised me for ruining her life. That sort of thing.” His brow drew in, his eyes became glassy.
“What did she do to you?” I was barely audible as the look on his face took my voice away.
“Well …” He continued drawing imaginary swirls on my chest. “There was always the threat that if I didn’t do what I was told, she would send me to live on the streets with my real mother. Like, one day, when I was peddling my toy car down the hallway, I crashed and knocked a vase off a pillar, straight onto my head. She was really pissed with me for breaking the vase, so she gathered up all my toys and threw them out. Told me I should get used to not having anything, because my mother was a poor whore who lived on the streets, and that’s where I would end up.”
“That’s a horrible thing to say.” I couldn’t believe someone would say that to a child.
“Then this one time when I didn’t want to eat my vegetables, she sent me to my room. I spent a week locked in there with hardly any food. Then there was this other time—” He was on a roll, now that he was finally able to talk about it. “—I hadn’t cleaned my room to her specifications, so as usual, she threatened to send me away. I must have pulled a face or not reacted the way she wanted me to, so she said I would end up living in a cardboard box on the streets, because I didn’t deserve to live under her roof. She locked me outside in the middle of winter so I could get used to sleeping outdoors.”
I could tell this was a bad one, as the volume of his voice had lowered.
“It was cold and wet, and I was so scared, being out there in the dark on my own.”
“How old were you?” I asked softly, absolutely shocked by her cruelty.
“Six years old.”
Tears prickled my eyes again, but they were tears for the little boy who had suffered at the hands of this monster of a woman.
“What did you do?”
“Well, Mum had just given away my dog, Joey, because I used to sneak him into my room at night, when he was supposed to be left outside, so I crawled into Joey’s kennel that was near the back veranda and slept in there to keep dry.”
“Oh my God. You slept in a dog kennel!” I was so furious I was shaking. I needed to sit up for this, I was so angry. “She left a six-year-old little boy outside in the cold to sleep in a dog kennel! She’s a … a …” Argh! There were no words for what she was.
“Yeah, she’s everything you’re thinking, and more. There are so many instances like those. That’s why I started hanging out more and more at my mate’s house when I was older.” He gave me a sad smile. “We all know how that turned out.”
I didn’t know what to say. I was crying again, but this time all my tears were for Cole. At face value he’d had such a charmed life, living in a mansion with what appeared to be loving parents, but his reality was nothing short of a horror movie.
“Did your dad know what was going on?” I asked, wiping my eyes to clear my vision.
Cole smiled. “No, I’m positive Dad didn’t know. Mum would always threaten to drive me to a rough neighbourhood and leave me there to fend for myself if I ever mentioned any of it to Dad.”
“So your whole childhood you lived with the threat that if you didn’t do what you were told, you would be cast out.” It explained a lot. How Cole’s need to please his mother had allowed her to walk all over him for so many years.
“But none of this was your fault, you were the innocent party in this whole mess. And really, people have affairs all the time. It’s not like your dad killed someone.” I grimaced. “Although she was under age so he could have gone to jail.”
Cole nodded. “Yes, and I think that was the main concern for Dad, whereas I think Mum was more worried about keeping up appearances. You know what that social circle is like, everyone pretending that their marriage is perfect. That their families are perfect, their jobs are perfect, all the while half the wives are banging the tennis coach.”
“And the husbands have a mistress on the side.” I looked up into Cole’s emerald eyes. “Was that really what you expected? That I’d be your mistress on the side?”
“I don’t know what I expected. I just knew I didn’t want to lose you.”
I needed to ask one more question but I wasn’t sure how he would react.
“Have you ever spoken to your birth mother? Do you know where she is?” I asked hesitantly.
He shook his head. “I have no desire to ever talk to her.” His eyes met mine. The hurt in them was almost too unbearable to witness. “She didn’t want me. She sold me like I was a commodity.” He frowned. “At least I had a decent education and people who cared about me, like Dad and Pops and Granny. Who knows what life would have been like if I’d grown up in Italy?”
He pulled me in tight against him and I gladly snuggled in.
“I’m glad things happened the way they did,” he told me. “It led me to you.”
It was three in the morning and I couldn’t sleep. After tossing and turning for more than an hour, I decided the best course of action was to get up and play the piano. I needed to clear my head before it exploded from everything that was swirling around inside it.
Lifting Cole’s arm from around my waist, I shimmied out of the covers and threw on my robe. The streetlights along the boardwalk illuminated the sand and waves below and I stopped briefly, mesmerised by the ebb and flow of the tide.
The apartment was in total darkness, apart from the moonlight shining in through the dining room window. Lifting the lid on the piano, I closed my eyes and let my fingers dictate what they felt compelled to play. It was a classical night tonight as the music of Rachmaninov, Beethoven and Bach made an appearance.
I was in between pieces when I heard movement coming from the doorway, making me turn my head. A tall, broad figure stood silently leaning against the doorjamb, watching me.
“Hey, didn’t mean to interrupt,” he said in a raspy, half-asleep voice as he approached. “I just woke up and you weren’t there.” He sat straddled on the stool beside me. “Can I stay, or do you want to be alone?”
Wrapping my arms around his waist, I buried my face in his chest. He smelt so good, all warm and masculine. “No, I don’t want you to leave me.”
The gravity of that statement filled me with fear, and it must have shown, as Cole kissed my hair.
“I’ll never leave you, Tara. No matter what.”
“How can you be sure?” I asked, gripping tighter. The tears were flowing again as the prospect of losing Cole weighed heavily on my heart.
He stroked my hair lovingly. “I know something happened overseas, babe, I’m not stupid. But it’s my decision to not know the
details or the extent of it. So I’m going to tell myself that it meant nothing, because that’s all I can deal with, okay?” He raised my chin with his finger. “But, baby, you need to stop crying every time you look at me, because you’re going to be looking at me every day for the rest of your life, and that’s a hell of a lot of tears.”
“For the rest of my life?”
“If that’s what you want, then, yes.” He dried my damp cheeks with his thumbs. “The past is in the past, remember? We both made mistakes, but we’re here, we’re together, and I’ll fight for what I want and protect what I love, and that’s you, babe. Always has been, always will be.”
In the moonlight I could see a tear streak down Cole’s cheek.
“I don’t want to spend another night going to bed without you to hold, or another morning waking up and not seeing your beautiful face on the pillow beside me. So forever starts now, and for me, you are my forever.”
“And you’re mine, Cole.” I touched my forehead to his. “God, I love you.”
Maybe it was talking about Cole’s childhood earlier in the evening, but I could feel the vulnerability radiating off him. All his cockiness had been stripped bare, and the lonely boy who just needed to be accepted and loved was sitting before me.
“Come into the living room,” I coaxed, standing and taking his hand.
I led him to the couch and waited for him to sit before straddling his lap.
Cole’s fingers ran through the sides of my hair, holding my head gently while his soft lips scorched my forehead, my cheeks and down my neck. I could feel him getting hard beneath me and I subtly moved my hips, making him moan as his lips found my earlobe and tugged.
“I can’t even begin to tell you how much I missed you, baby,” he whispered before the tip of his tongue traced the shell of my ear. “But let me show you.”
“No,” I whimpered, as his hands opened the lapels of my robe and found my breasts. “Let me show you.”
Sliding off his lap, I planted kisses down his neck to his chest as I knelt between his legs. Cole’s hand ran through my hair as my mouth found his nipple, licking and sucking it until it was hard. I continued licking down his abs, kissing each ridge of his six pack. The waistband of his boxers was sitting low on his hips, with his erection poking through the top.
“We don’t need these anymore,” I told him, peeling them back so his hard-on sprung free. Kissing along the V over his hip, I finally reached his length, softly licking the underside until my tongue flicked his piercing.
Cole’s hand fisted gently in my hair, encouraging me to do it again. I did, over and over, teasingly running the tip of my tongue around the smooth head while he moaned appreciatively every time I worked back around to the piercing.
As his breathing started to quicken, I looked up at his face. A small smile tilted the corner of his mouth as his thumb ran over my bottom lip, opening it, then moving in to my mouth. I knew what he wanted and I raked my teeth over his thumb as he pulled it back out, never taking his eyes from mine.
With a long wet lick up the length of him, my mouth wrapped over the head, taking in as much as I could.
Cole drew in a sharp breath before letting it out in a groan. As my hand lovingly stroked his shaft, my head moved in time, all the while Cole’s hand rested lightly on my head. I swirled my tongue around the circumference then sucked hard again as Cole dropped his head back, his fingers working in my hair in time with the motion.
“So good,” Cole mumbled. “That feels … so good.”
I kept going, increasing the speed and intensity. The noises Cole was making spurred me on, and sent an ache through my core. God, I was so turned on. Cole’s hips started rising up in time with my action, and my hand pumped in time as I clenched my thighs together.
“Babe, come up here.”
I raised my eyes to see Cole’s face.
He licked his bottom lip. “I want you to climb on.”
My kisses trailed back up Cole’s amazing body until they found his lips. With his hand still tangled in my hair, he held my head firm as his tongue flicked into my mouth, dancing with my own. I climbed back over Cole’s lap, untying my robe and slipping it from my shoulders. His mouth left mine, finding its way to my breast where he sucked in my nipple, rolling it between his lips. Gently rocking, I rubbed against Cole’s piercing as it hit on just the right spot, making me moan softly.
“Climb on,” he instructed quietly, his mouth finding my other pebbled nipple. “I want to feel you slide over me.”
Rising up, Cole held himself positioned under me. I slowly lowered myself onto him, feeling every inch as he filled me. I lifted back up, then lowered myself again, until my weight was resting on his lap.
“Ah God, babe, you’re so fucking wet,” He lifted his hips, pushing into me. “So wet.” His hands grasped my hips, pushing them back onto him and circling his hips. “Unbelievable,” he muttered.
I wanted it slow and deep, so it would last as long as possible. As Cole pushed into me, groaning at every thrust, I ran my hands over his chest, feeling the contours of his muscles under his smooth skin. His body was a work of art, so perfectly proportioned. I could spend the rest of my life exploring every inch of him.
Cole’s eyes were dark pools as he watched my face with parted lips. They were too tempting; they needed to be kissed. Leaning forward, I claimed his mouth with mine, sighing into it as his tongue circled the rim of my lips.
“You feel amazing,” I murmured, clutching onto Cole’s broad shoulders for support.
His hands ran up my sides, caressing my body from hips to breasts, making me feel like a goddess.
“Turn around,” he instructed. “Face the other way.”
I quickly turned so my back was to Cole before carefully sliding back on.
“I thought I wasn’t a ‘from behind’ kind of girl,” I reminded him, as Cole’s piercing rubbed inside me, making me shudder.
“I know you like it this way,” he said huskily, pulling my body back so I was leaning against his chest. “Especially when I do this.” His hand wrapped over my hip to rest between my thighs. Nimble fingers found their mark as I started rocking back and forth against him. “And I like you any way I can get you.” Cole’s other hand ran over my stomach until it found my breast, kneading the weight firmly.
Resting on Cole’s shoulder, I turned my face towards his. It felt divine, every part of me totally at the mercy of this gorgeous man as he lovingly brought me to the edge.
I was so close so I leaned forward, changing the angle. Ah, that felt good, with Cole’s hands positioned on my hips controlling the movement. I bounced more rapidly, feeling the titanium balls rub against me.
Cole groaned, his fingers gripping my hips tighter. “That’s it, babe. Argh, God … keep going.”
My head dropped back, my eyes closed as our bodies instinctively moved as one. Cole’s hand left my hip and ran up my back until it rested on my shoulder, his hips lifting from the couch as he pounded into me.
It was too much, as my thighs tightened, squeezing Cole’s legs. He knew I was just about to explode. His grip went back to my hips, fingers digging in almost painfully.
“Come on, babe,” he growled. “I can’t hold on …”
My body shuddered as every muscle clenched in unison, sending a shockwave through me. I cried out, that fine line between pleasure and pain teasing me as wave after wave coursed through my body.
I felt Cole tense, his grip tightening even more as I struggled to keep moving for him, my body not wanting to budge. Finally, he grunted some expletives as his grip loosened and I felt his body relax.
When I thought my legs would support my weight again, I went to climb off.
“Stay here,” Cole said as he laid us down on the couch, still joined together.
Reaching up, he pulled the blanket from the back of the couch over us, then wrapped his huge arm around me, pulling my body against his.
“This is where you belong,” he sigh
ed, “right here with me.”
Going into Songbirds the following afternoon was interesting. I went in first and took a seat at one of the tables with Nicole while Marcus made coffee. We talked about Nicole moving in with Marcus. Every time Cole was mentioned, I changed the subject.
Fifteen minutes later, Cole sauntered in and the mood changed as Nicole’s hackles went up, ready to side with me whatever the outcome. But she didn’t need to. Cole walked straight over, sliding onto the chair behind me. He wrapped his arms around me, nuzzling his face in my hair.
Nicole’s expression was priceless as she watched Cole, waiting for me to react in some way.
I did. Turning in my seat, my arms went around his neck, pulling him in to a deep, passionate kiss.
“You rotters!” Nicole exclaimed. “Why didn’t you tell us you were back together?”
“This is so much more fun.” Cole laughed, before kissing me again.
There were so many questions from Marcus and Nicole, and we filled them in on the non-engagement and our reconciliation.
“Tars, can you give me a hand for a minute?” Nicole asked with a frown. “Upstairs.”
I followed her up, still distracted by Cole’s shining emerald eyes watching my every move.
“What the fuck?” she exclaimed, slapping my arm hard. “What about the whole Riley thing? Did you tell him? Because I don’t want to let it slip if he doesn’t know.”
Indicating to a table and chairs, we sat down, leaning in close to ensure no one could hear.
“He knows, but he doesn’t want to know.”
“What does that mean? Did you tell him or not?”
“Not exactly, I didn’t need to. From my bursting into tears and repeatedly apologising, he kinda figured it out for himself.”
She sat back, frowning. “Oh, crap.” She leaned forward again, puzzled. “So he knows and he’s okay with it? That’s … wow, that’s just …”
“That’s Cole. He has the biggest, most forgiving heart of anyone I’ve ever met.” I suddenly grabbed her wrist. “You didn’t tell Marcus, did you?” I asked, panicked. “You’re the only one who knows, and I’d like to keep it that way.”