Forgive Me

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Forgive Me Page 21

by Ashley Beale


  I place my hand on my hip and give him a look that says, please! “No. I’ve never even gotten butterflies from any other guy but you.”

  He grins and pulls me close to him as we continue walking outdoors.

  Can you come over?

  I look down at the text and smile, everything inside me warming at the thought of some alone time with Zander. I have three hours before Justin will be home from school, and although Zander is supposed to be at work, apparently he is at his house, and I have no issue going over there. Today I took my first day off from work because Faith wanted me to go to her doctor’s appointment with her, as she found out the sex of the baby, and I’ve been lonely ever since I got home.

  Yup, I have a niece that’ll be here in just over four months. I am so excited for the two of them.

  I text out a quick reply to Zander, Be there in ten. I head out the door right after.

  I walk into Zander’s house and smile at the bouquet of roses on the table and the wrapped present next to it. I’m startled when he wraps his arms around me from behind, laying kisses on my shoulder. “Happy four months, beautiful.”

  “You’re such a dork,” I tell him, even though I’m melting into him.

  “I know.” He kisses my temple and I get an urge to go open my present.

  “You know, that is Christmas wrapping paper, right?”

  He laughs, “Yeah, that is all I could find.”

  “So I don’t have to wait until Christmas to open it?”

  “Go on.” He unwraps his arms from around me and gives me a little shove in the direction of the table.

  Grabbing the present, I tear open the paper to see a shirt box. I rip the tape at the edges and lift the cover off. Grinning, I pull out the three things inside, one by one. The first is a skittles box which makes me laugh softly, the next is a picture frame that says Family on it, and that makes me happier than I thought it would, the next is a rectangle jewelry box.

  Thinking it’s a necklace, I’m surprised to open it and see a key. I look up to Zander with a half-smile, a little nervous to just jump off the ledge and assume what he is saying by this.

  “What do you think?” is all I get from him.

  “I love it all,” I tell him.

  He chuckles. “What do you think… about you and Justin moving in with me finally?”

  I jump out of the chair so fast and wrap my arms around his neck, pressing my lips to his. He deepens the kiss immediately and we don’t even make it out of the kitchen before we’re both completely stripped from our clothes and making a passionately fierce love on the kitchen floor.

  With Zander still inside me, I rest my head against his chest. “I think that says it all.”

  “Welcome home,” he states. He presses his lips to my forehead and I can’t help but grin. Everything over the last five months has been near perfection, but nothing beats this moment right here.

  We head to my dad’s house and pack up some random things of Justin and mine, then we bring it back to Zander’s. When we arrive back to my dad’s again, we reload his truck with just about the last of everything Justin and I have here. He already has a bed and dresser at Zander’s, and obviously I don’t need those things, and since we don’t have much furniture, we really didn’t have to move much of anything.

  When Justin gets off at the bus stop, both Zander and I are standing there waiting for him. I tell him, “We’ve got a surprise for you when we get back home.”

  He gets excited and all the way home he has a little skip in his step. When he walks into the driveway, he immediately notices my suitcase sitting next to Zander’s truck. He turns and looks at me, a little confused. “Are we going to see Nan for Christmas?” He scratches his head.

  “Well Christmas isn’t for another week and half, what do you think?”

  “We aren’t on vacation until Friday, and I didn’t think you had time off work. So I don’t know.”

  Bless his heart, he really is confused. I smile and look up to Zander. “You want to tell him?”

  “Nope,” he says with a wink.

  “Oh, well, I guess never mind.” I start walking towards the house.

  Justin pleads, “No fair! Tell me, please!”

  Laughing I continue walking towards dad’s house. I get inside seconds before Justin comes barging in. “This isn’t fair, I wanna know.” He gives me those darn little puppy dog eyes and I can’t keep the act up any longer.

  “Fine… what do you think about moving?”

  He faces pinches and I don’t think he gets it… or likes the idea. Until all of a sudden his mouth gapes open. “We get to move in with dad?”

  I nod my head, grinning at him. “Only if you want.”

  “Yes!” he screams. He runs over and wraps his arms around my waist. “I just knew one day we’d be a real family, I just knew it.”

  My eyes immediately water, with both sadness and happiness, and I realize that I’m so much more blessed than I could have ever imagined. Justin too. It was a rough ten years, but they were worth it to be where we are now. I still would give anything to go back and change a few things, but then again, we may not have ever ended up in this situation if so.

  Maybe you have to know the darkness

  Before you can appreciate the light.

  -Madeleine L’Engle

  “I don’t know, I think I like the yellow one better.”

  Zander glares at me. “We’re not painting that damn barn yellow.”

  I pout my lips at him. “You’re not very nice. What do you think Justin?” I turn to face Justin who is shaking his head.

  “I still vote red, like a normal person.” I smile at his response.

  “I like red,” Zander says with a chuckle. I’m reminded of when he admitted to why that was his favorite color, so I roll my eyes and agree the dang barn can be red.

  We fill the cart with the supplies needed and continue walking around the store. Once we’re finished up there, we head home. Pulling into the driveway, I look over to the barn we built over the course of this summer, and it looks spectacular. Just as I’ve dreamed, even without being painted yet. I cannot wait to have horses roaming through the fenced in yard, or in the barn being groomed and fed.

  I started begging Zander about three months after we moved in together to have horses and a barn. He pretended that he didn’t want any of it, but I knew deep down he did. And he made me overjoyed when he came home with supplies to start building, which was the week Justin’s school let out. Giving us a summer project.

  Sadly ‘ol man Jones passed away, but with that Zander got the Plantation to himself, where he hired Gunner back on for help, and gave him a great salary as well. He needed it too, since Magnolia became pregnant with their first child just weeks after he started working there. She is currently five months pregnant, and I’m happy to have a second niece on the way.

  With Clay having a little one already, and Gunner having one on the way, I’ve been overjoyed. Being an aunt is almost as wonderful as being a mom, and this time around, I can enjoy the benefits of having a baby in the family. When asked by Faith if I were going to have another, Justin’s ears perked up and he seemed way too excited about the idea of it. Zander and I both looked at each other like the idea of it was ridiculous, but I have to admit, ever since being asked, I’ve thought a lot about it.

  I finally asked Zander two days ago what his thought was on it and he said he’d like to work on us a little more first, but with time he could see us most certainly having a child or two. That made me happy, so in the meantime, I’m focusing on our barn, our home, and our family.

  I honestly think what convinced Zander was when I mentioned that he could be there for all the firsts for this child, and that we could raise him or her together. He acted like that didn’t thrill him, but I knew it did. We already have a crib and some nursery supplies for when I have my niece, Dixie, overnight. It wouldn’t take much to turn it into a nursery, and I may have mentioned that once or twice as
well.

  We climb out of the pickup and Justin helps Zander unload while I grab a couple of paint buckets, heading in the direction of the barn. I place the buckets down when I get inside and pull my tee-shirt off, having only my tank top on. Even will fall approaching, the weather has been perfect, and doing something like painting outside certainly calls for minimal clothing.

  Justin and Zander manage to bring all the supplies over in one load, and we prep to start painting the barn. I turn the radio on and am happy to hear one of my favorite songs, Rain Is A Good Thing by Luke Bryan. Zander chuckles and says, “Oh, whiskey makes you frisky huh?”

  I wink at him while belting out the lyrics. When the song ends, I tell him, “Well that is what I was drinking the day I showed up and put a stop to your wedding.” My cheeks blush and he looks over at me a little wide eyed but not completely shocked.

  “You’re kind of like a shot of whiskey,” he says randomly. It makes me grin and at the same time, I’m reminded of a silly quote I saw on Facebook one day- you know, after I joined like I promised Kenneth I would.

  “I’d rather be someone’s shot of whiskey than everyone’s cup of tea.”

  He pulls me into a hug, kissing my forehead gently. “You’re my whiskey in a teacup.”

  “And you’re my cowboy that needs to get my barn painted.” I pull back and look at him.

  “Yes ma’am,” he says, deepening his southern drawl, tipping his hat at me.

  I’m pretty sure that just turned me on greater than anything ever has, but with our son just a couple feet away from us, I sadly ignore my yearning.

  The three of us go into the early evening painting the barn, only finishing half of it. Knowing we can’t get it finished, we pack up the supplies and put things away. Justin heads in early, asking if he can take a shower, and I let him.

  Just as Zander and I start to head back to the house, he stops me and points up to the hay loft. “We got a few minutes, what do you say? While there is no hay up there.”

  I’m immediately wet and ready for him as I nod my head. I climb the ladder and he comes up after me. Looking around the hay loft, I see that its not going to be a comfortable place to have sex. The floors are wooden and I’m nervous about getting splinters, and the ceiling is shaped like an ‘A’, so we can’t do it against the wall.

  I turn to face Zander, ready to tell him this, when I notice him down on one knee. My heart stops immediately, then speeds up so fast, I’m surprised it doesn’t come fly out of my chest.

  “When you walked back into my life, Lexi, I wasn’t sure if I could ever forgive you. And that was before I even knew about Justin. When you left me all those years ago, you had broken my heart in a way only a true love could, and I never knew I’d be able to feel love again. But when I laid my lips upon yours, the spark inside me ignited and I knew deep down, one day, we’d up end together. I tried to fight it, but really there was no use. You’re the love of my life, Lexi, and you always will be. Will you please do me the honor in becoming my wife?”

  Sobbing at his words, I start nodding my head frantically. I don’t even notice the ring until he is sliding it onto my finger. I don’t know much about jewelry, but what I do know is he knows exactly what I like. The ring is silver, and has a large, single diamond. Its stunning, but not as stunning as the man kneeling before me.

  “Get up,” I tell him once it’s on. He smiles up at me larger than I’ve ever seen, and we wrap our arms around one another. “I love you so much Zander Fields.”

  “I’m pretty sure I love you more, the future Mrs. Fields.”

  The barn has hanging lanterns coming down from the different beans throughout the barn, all lit with tea lights. The shimmering of the lights against the wall looks so beautiful, I stare at it in awe. I can hear the sweet melody of music in the background along with everyone outside having conversations with one another.

  Bray walks over and gives me a large hug, bringing me out of my daze. “Ready?”

  “I’ve been ready most my life.”

  She grins at me before adjusting a piece of my hair. “You are the most beautiful bride I’ve ever seen. And that is saying a lot, because I’ve been married twice.”

  I glare at her as she smiles, but then we both laugh a little. It eases my tension a little. “Thanks, I think I needed that.”

  “You don’t need anything besides to walk down that aisle and marry the man of your dreams.”

  I take a few deep breaths then nod my head. “Okay, I’m ready.”

  “Yay,” she says with a small clap. “I’m going to get your dad and tell Zander you’re ready.”

  She takes off and it isn’t three minutes later that my dad walks into the barn. He looks so handsome in his charcoal gray tux and white tie. He adjusts the knot at his neck before he smiles warmly at me. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen someone more beautiful than you.”

  I actually blush, between him and Bray both calling me beautiful in a matter of minutes. I know it’s the right thing to say to a bride, but it still feels awkward. “Thank you,” I tell him.

  His eyes moisten as he takes me in completely. “I feel like I just got you back and I’m already losing you.”

  “Aw, dad.” I walk forward and wrap my arms around him. “Don’t say things to me like that, you’ll make me cry. You’ll never lose me again. I’m less than ten minutes away, where I’ve been the last year.”

  He sighs and I feel him rubbing at my shoulders. “Okay, we don’t need you crying, lets get you down this aisle before I change my mind.”

  I step away and smile with a raised brow. “You change your mind?”

  “I don’t have to give you away. I can fight this.”

  I point a finger at him. “Don’t you dare. I don’t think your grandbabies will be too impressed.” I pat my growing belly, where our second little boy is on his way, and cock my head to the side, daring my dad to argue.

  He laughs. “Alright, lets get this shotgun wedding on the road.”

  I smack his arm and walk towards the sliding doors. Bray peeks her head inside. “Ready for real this time?”

  “Yes, Bray, we’re ready.”

  She turns back around seconds before the music starts. I peek out and watch as first Torin and Rease make their way down the aisle, side by side, then Magnolia and Faith, and lastly Bray. At the other end of the aisle stands both my brothers, Justin, and finally, my handsome husband to be.

  Step by step I make my way towards him and it feels as though we’re the only two in the world. I can feel my dad aside me but he is non-existent right now. No one is in my vision besides the love of my life. And in just a handful of minutes, I’ll be Mrs. Zander Fields.

  I think there comes a time when you meet someone and

  You just want to make them smile for the rest of your life.

  -unknown

  First and foremost, thank you to my fans! You all are incredible. I’m always becoming more and more amazed by the support you all give me!! The love you all share is a feeling I don’t think I will ever get used to. I couldn’t be here without any of you- and I really hope each of you understand how much I appreciate everything. Thanks!

  My family- my biggest supporters. I truly have the most amazing family a girl could ask for! When I say family- that goes far beyond just my children, siblings, and parents. A family isn’t always blood, it’s a special bond that is irreplaceable.

  My “Bray’s” … Chelsea D, Felicia B, Amanda K, Patricia J. I have so many friends beyond you four- but you are by far the four best friends I could ever ask for! Thank you for always being there for me, and for simply being you! Love you ladies so much!

  My editor, Amanda. I pushed this novel on you so fast and you rocked it! Thanks for always putting up with my craziness ;)

  My beta reader, Felicia. Thanks for jumping in and taking this on, especially last minute! I’m glad to have you on the team now and am looking forward to working with you more. You certainly helped in making this story
better!

  All authors, at all different stages in their dream- it’s been wonderful connecting with you all! I love the support we can give one another, the questions asked & answered, the friendship developed! This journey is certainly so much better having you all in my life. Cannot wait to meet more of you.

  Last but most certainly not least- those wonderful people we all call bloggers! Your dedication, encouragement, and over all support is beyond remarkable! People don’t realize how hard you all work to help support us authors. I appreciate every minute spent helping me not just during my blog tour(s), but in general!! Each and every one of you rock!

  The following blogs/pages were either part of my blog tour:

  Book Lover Tells All, Two Eyed Girl Editing, Author Groupies, Reading Books and more Books, Read and Share Book Reviews, K&S Book Blog, Three Chicks and Their Books, Honesty About Books, Wicked Witches of Pimping, Reading Drinking and Relaxing, Momma’s Secret Book Obsession, Books Over Bro’s, Dusk til Dawn Book Blog, Love Books Love Romance, Romance Obsessed Book Blog, 2 Friends Promote Your Books With Us, Paranormal Romance and Authors That Rock, Shakuita Johnson, Between the Covers Book Blog, Sweets Books, Triple T Nerds, Midwest Book Lover, Chicks Looking For A Book Fix, Books Are My Friends, Penny for My Thoughts Book Blog.

  Ashley Beale is an indie author and self-publisher from Maine. During the day, Ashley is busy entertaining her two young children. Together they spend time with family and friends, going on adventures, shopping, or just having fun. At night, Ashley enjoys a glass of wine, along with a movie, addictive TV series, writing, or of course, falling in love with a new book boyfriend.

  To find out more about Ashley, or her plans for upcoming book releases, please visit any of her official pages:

  Facebook fan page- www.facebook.com/ashleybealeauthor

 

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