by HELEN HARDT
“I have no intention of hurting him.”
“Then why are you bringing him here? I don’t understand.” The thought of Ryan walking into danger speared me in the heart. I had to make sure he wasn’t in any peril. Had to keep him safe. Had to get back to him—to the man I loved. “Hasn’t he been through enough? Hasn’t his brother been through enough? His whole damned family? Can’t this all just end?”
My father regarded me. Something in his eyes changed. At least I think it did. His eyes weren’t actually his eyes. They were that eerie blue fakeness.
But I couldn’t deny I’d seen something. A…softening? I blinked. Then again. Theodore Mathias could never soften. I’d imagined it.
“Unfortunately, some things never end, daughter. Even when you want them to.”
It had been a softening. My father was showing a rare morsel of remorse. I hadn’t known he had it in him.
“You’re wrong. This can end.”
“Not well.”
I wasn’t going to lie to him. “Not without you spending the rest of your life in prison. That’s true.”
His eyes went icy. “I assure you I’ll never go to prison. I’m a hell of a lot smarter than Larry Wade.”
I didn’t doubt it.
“Speaking of Wade, why did you have him knocked off? He never rolled over on you. Not once. The Steels and I offered him everything.”
“What makes you think I had anything to do with his death?”
“Just a hunch, Theo.”
“I don’t expect you to believe anything I say, Ruby, but I didn’t have Larry Wade killed. And I didn’t have Tom Simpson killed.”
“I know that. Tom Simpson committed suicide.”
“Without any help from me.”
“Without any help from anyone.” I rubbed my tight temples. “You know damned well Simpson killed himself. Jonah witnessed it and saw the coroner take the body. This one was identified, and he’s actually dead.”
“Simpson may have pulled the trigger that put the bullet in his own brain, but someone else was behind it. Someone else wanted him dead, and it wasn’t me. It doesn’t matter. You’ll believe what you want to believe, no matter what I tell you.”
“True. Because you’re a lying psychopath. That’s why I don’t believe you.”
He sighed. Or at least I thought it was a sigh. Hard to tell with him. “Would you believe I never meant for anything to go as far as it did?”
I rubbed my eyes. They wanted to close so badly. “No, I wouldn’t. Because if you’d never meant for it to go so far, you wouldn’t have raped Gina. Or Talon. Or Colin Morse.”
“Not that this will change your mind about me, but I never touched Colin Morse. He was Tom’s bitch. I was against that one. Not only is Morse’s father a loose cannon, but we have no market for adult men. Tom had acquired the taste over the years and couldn’t help himself.”
I rubbed my forehead, trying to ease the invisible rubber band around it. “Oh my God. Couldn’t help himself? Do you ever actually listen to the words that come out of your mouth?”
“Tom was worse that way than I was. It was an urge with him. A compulsion. I told you once he was an amateur and I meant it. He had no control. Murdering his nephew and then slicing him up in front of the Steel boy was Tom’s idea, not mine. He was the true monster of the three of us, no matter what you might have heard.”
“Sure, blame the dead guy.” I scoffed.
“I’m not blaming anyone. But Tom was what he was. He was convinced he was immortal, could do whatever he pleased and get away with it, all while keeping up his beautiful family life as mayor of Snow Creek. He was devoid of emotion. He was truly cold-hearted.”
Cold-hearted. Ryan and his brothers had referred to Tom as an ice man. Apparently they hadn’t been far off. I resisted the urge to shudder. I’d never meet the man, and I was damned glad of it.
“And what… Colin Morse just stumbled into his path one day?”
“Essentially, yes. Morse was in Snow Creek, trying to bait the Steel brothers one evening before Talon was due in court. Tom witnessed the exchange and followed him. He took him later that night. He figured the Steels would be blamed for the disappearance. He kept him holed up for a few weeks until Jonah Steel found him.” My father shook his head. “The man never learned. I was pissed off. I should have let Jonah Steel beat the shit out of Simpson, maybe even kill him, but I felt guilty and went back for him. I got him out of there before the cops came.”
“I have a hard time believing you’ve ever felt anything slightly akin to guilt.”
He removed his mask, and his unruly black hair fell around his olive-skinned face. “Tom was a friend. A brother. I couldn’t let him go down. Not like that. Not for something as stupid as kidnapping Colin Morse.”
“You couldn’t let him go down for torturing and raping an innocent man? That was big of you.”
“I don’t expect you to understand about our brotherhood. That’s what the future lawmakers really were. A brotherhood.”
“A brotherhood? What about Wendy Madigan?”
“She’s a different story.”
“Meaning?”
“She was brilliant, in a way. Actually, in many ways. She had a way of getting us caught up in things that we had no business being caught up in. Tom was the first to succumb.”
“Please.” I rolled my eyes.
“I’m serious. Tom was greedy. That greed was what did him in at the end. Like I said, he thought he was immortal. He’d gotten away with literally everything for so long he figured he’d never get caught. I was never that naïve. I never stayed anywhere long enough to get caught, and I used a lot of names.”
Nothing I didn’t already know. “So you were careful. And you stayed away from adult men because they weren’t part of your market. Am I really hearing this? It’s all about the market?”
“Well, there is a market for adult men. But the company we provide for isn’t interested in that particular commodity.”
“Commodity? These are fucking people, Theo! God, what made you so sick in the head?”
“Everyone needs to make a living.”
“Seriously? Making a living is one thing. Why the torture? Why the rape? Why not leave that to someone else?”
He had no answer for me. Or if he did, he kept it to himself. I eyed him. His features went slightly rigid.
“You know what it is? You fucking enjoy it. You enjoy exerting power and control over those weaker than you are. That’s why the women, the little kids. It’s not sexual at all for you, is it?”
He didn’t answer again, and I was just as glad. I didn’t want to know why he did it. I didn’t want to get any more inside his twisted head than I already was.
“There are things you don’t understand.”
“These are things I don’t want to understand.”
“None of this was ever planned.”
“I don’t believe you.”
“We were forced into a lot of it.”
“Still don’t believe you.”
“At times, we were stuck between a rock and a hard place.”
This was going nowhere fast, and my eyelids were drooping. The old velour couch was beginning to feel soft under me. God, what I’d do for a bed. “Just tell me why you brought me here.”
“I already did. You will lure the Steels here, right into my trap.”
“Damn it! You said you wouldn’t hurt them.”
“I won’t. Not if they play their cards right. Their father owes me something. And I intend to collect.”
Chapter Nine
Ryan
Raj showed up around four a.m. to relieve me, but I had no intention of going anywhere. I filled him in on the GPS coordinates and our new route.
“If there’s land there, it’s probably privately owned,” he said. “Have you looked at a map? If the island’s a decent size, it will show up on a map of the area.”
“We haven’t looked at a map. But whether anything shows
up or not, we’re going.” I scratched the back of my neck. “There’s land there. Owned by Mathias or some other degenerate, no doubt.”
“How can you be so sure?”
“It’s a clue. Left by my father. It has to be.”
He shook his head. “Don’t get your hopes up until we get there.”
I wouldn’t budge. Those coordinates had been planted in Ruby’s apartment for a reason. They would lead me to her…and to something more. I was sure of it.
“You need to get some sleep, mon,” Raj said, interrupting my thoughts. “You won’t be any good without it.”
“I can’t.”
“Listen to me. Go to your cabin. Try. You won’t be any good to anyone if you’re not well rested.”
As he finished his sentence, a great yawn split my face.
“See what I mean?” Raj said.
“Fine. I’ll go. But I won’t sleep.” I headed down to my cabin and slid the key card through the slot.
I collapsed on my bed and closed my eyes.
Ruby, I said in my mind. Ruby, please be there when I get there. Please help me find you. I love you. I need you.
I’m here. I’m right here, Ryan.
I jerked my eyes open.
I’d actually heard her voice!
I stood abruptly and started pacing around the cabin. Of course it hadn’t been her. I was just exhausted, overwhelmed with fatigue. I lay down again and closed my eyes. I had to get some rest. Raj was right about one thing. I’d be no good to Ruby without some sleep.
* * *
“He’s beautiful, Brad.”
I was lying in bed. I shared a room with Talon. Our house was big. Bigger than any of my friends’ homes. But I liked sharing a room with Talon. I liked hearing him breathe.
I opened my eyes and found a woman staring down at me. I’d seen her before. She was a friend of the family. She did stories on TV. I couldn’t remember her name, but she was pretty. She had brown hair—lighter than my mother’s—and blue eyes.
“Go back to sleep, buddy.”
My father’s voice. Deep and stern. That was Daddy. I always obeyed him. So I shut my eyes.
“I want so much to hold him,” the woman said in a whisper.
“You can’t,” my father whispered back.
“Please, Brad. Just once. I haven’t held him since—”
The whispers stopped suddenly, and footsteps faded away until I heard my door close quietly.
I opened my eyes and sat up in bed. Then I got up and walked to my door, placing my ear against the wood.
Nothing.
Then, “I’m his mother!”
Weeping. My mother cried a lot. But not like this. My mother’s sobs were big and bountiful. These sobs were soft and weak.
More whispers…my father’s stern whispers. I pushed my ear into the door, but I couldn’t understand his words. I heard only hissing, like two snakes talking. Then one word.
Bigger sobs. “You promised!”
“She’s my wife, Wendy.”
Wendy. Yes, that was her name. The lady who did stories on TV and newspapers.
“Never. I’ll never believe that. You’ll pay for this, Brad. I swear to God you’ll pay.”
* * *
I jerked up in bed. Damn! I’d fallen asleep. And I’d been dreaming. It had the feeling of a long-lost memory. Had my mother come to see me when I was a little boy? Just that time, or were there others? As much as I never wanted to see the bitch again, I had so many unanswered questions. I also had no way of guaranteeing she would be truthful with me.
I closed my eyes and concentrated, and the vision came back to me in muted colors. It had been dark in my room, and I hadn’t opened my eyes until they’d left. I’d looked toward Talon and found him sleeping soundly. Then I’d gotten up, gone to the door, and listened.
Remember, Ryan. Remember.
The whispers. One word. One word…
Then it whooshed into my head as if it had always been there. Pregnant.
That was when my father had told Wendy that my other mother, Daphne Steel, was pregnant. Pregnant with what would become our baby sister, Marjorie.
Chills coursed through me. Daphne’s pregnancy had been the reason Wendy had Talon abducted and tortured. Starved and beaten. Raped.
To punish my father for sleeping with his wife and getting her pregnant.
She’d admitted it to me the last time I saw her.
Repugnance swept up my throat. This wasn’t new information, but every time it crossed my mind, it was still just as difficult to digest.
How could I come to terms with this? Having a mother who was such a cold-hearted bitch?
I pulled on a T-shirt and jeans and went up on deck.
“You’re supposed to be sleeping,” Talon said when he saw me.
“I thought Raj was keeping watch.”
“He was, but I couldn’t sleep. I told him to get lost.”
“You did?”
“Not in those exact words. But I wanted to be alone.”
“Oh. Sorry.”
“No, you’re fine. I just didn’t want to be with him, and I didn’t want to sleep, so I told him to go to bed for a few hours. What are you doing up?”
“I had a weird dream. Or rather, a flashback. I think.”
“I’m the king of flashbacks. You want to tell me about it?”
I quickly explained, stumbling over some of the words. Though Talon swore he didn’t blame me for my mother’s part in his horror, I still felt terrible about all of it. But it wouldn’t do either of us any good for me to continue apologizing. He’d just have to continue saying it was okay.
“I feel like there’s something I’m missing,” I said. “Like there’s more to the memory, but I can’t quite access it.”
“You were a kid. It’s funny. We keep some memories and can recall them in living color like it was yesterday, and others…” Talon sighed.
I knew what he was thinking. He’d worked hard for many hours with Melanie to recall some of the things he’d forced far into his subconscious.
“Is it painful?” I asked. “I mean…you know. Remembering.”
“I doubt you have anything too painful to remember.”
A knife cut into my heart. “I didn’t mean—”
“I know you didn’t, and I shouldn’t have said that,” Talon said. “I’m sorry. I know you’re battling your own demons. I don’t mean to minimize them.”
“They’re nothing compared to yours.” I meant those words with all my heart.
“So you want to know if you can access the rest of that memory. I get it. Melanie can help you.”
“Melanie’s not here. I need you to help me.”
Talon twisted his lips. “Are you crazy? I’m not qualified to do that.”
“Just do what Melanie did with you.”
He shook his head. “It’s not that simple. She has training in guided hypnosis. She knew how to bring me out if it got too tough. I wouldn’t be able to do any of that.”
“Please, Tal.”
He shook his head again. “I won’t. I won’t risk hurting you. Not ever.” The look in his eyes was pained.
It was enough for me to stop this inquiry. “All right. I understand.”
“When we get back, talk to Melanie. She’ll be able to help you.”
I had no doubt he was right. Problem was, Melanie wasn’t here, and I had the distinct feeling that I needed to access this memory now.
Before we got where we were going.
Chapter Ten
Ruby
I’d heard that song before. Simpson and my father had said something similar to Jonah when Wendy Madigan had kidnapped him. That his father owed them something. Then it had been my uncle, Rodney Cates, who had told us that Brad Steel had been the future lawmakers club’s financial backer.
Interestingly, the last time I’d talked to him, Rodney had also told me that Brad Steel was the one person my father had trusted.
I doubte
d Theodore Mathias felt that way now.
“What exactly does Brad Steel owe you?” I asked.
“None of your business. The less you know the better. Trust me.”
“Trust you?” I shook my head vehemently. “Not going to happen in this lifetime, Pops.”
A knock sounded on the door.
“Come in,” my father said.
Another black-masked goon entered with a covered tray. “Best I could come up with on short notice.” He set the tray on the desk.
“Thank you. Now leave,” my father said.
The man walked out, shutting the door behind him.
I inhaled. Smelled like chicken. Not roasted chicken or anything, but the fake kind that came with ramen noodles. My stomach gurgled.
My father uncovered the tray. “I thought you might like some better food.”
The platter held a bowl of some kind of soup and a plate containing what might be a brownie. Or a slab of shit. I couldn’t tell.
“I’m fine.” My stomach again betrayed me.
“Eat, Ruby. I know you’re hungry.”
I sighed and pulled the tray toward me. I took a spoonful of the soup. Yup, ramen. Still, I hated to admit it, but it tasted good, and the warm broth was heaven on my dry throat.
“I don’t usually eat here.”
“Why am I not surprised?” I said, my mouth full of noodles. “But don’t change the subject. What do you think Brad Steel owes you?”
“I said I’m not going to talk about that.”
“Then maybe you’ll talk about this,” I said, swallowing. “Rodney Cates told me that Brad Steel was one of the only men you ever trusted.”
He said nothing, his features betraying nothing.
“When exactly did that change?”
“Believe it or not,” he said, “Brad Steel is actually one of the most trustworthy people on the planet.”
Though it went against every instinct I possessed, I truly felt he was telling me the truth. Everything that Ryan had told me about his father indicated that he was a good man with good ethics.