by LuAnn McLane
At the sound of Danny’s voice Rusty raised his head and trotted over to stand beside his master. “It’s a solid sheet of ice out there, bud,” Danny said, taking in the beauty of the ice glittering off the outdoor light shining from the roof of his workshop. “Susan and I aren’t going anywhere anytime soon,” he added and then smiled slowly. “She has to listen to me now, Rusty. She’s trapped. Now how’s that for meant to be, huh? Thank you, Mother Nature.”
21
Try a Little Tenderness
“Oh, wow.” In spite of the horrifying humiliation of declaring her love and getting a thank-you followed by a laugh, Susan had to admire the beauty of the bathroom. She gazed longingly at the lovely claw-foot tub. She tiptoed over and peeked inside, loving the soothing natural colors of the slate tile. “Amazing.” Why she felt the need to tiptoe was a bit of a mystery, but she figured if Danny didn’t hear her walking around she might be able to sneak past him and make a swift departure, unnoticed. Funny but during her high school years she’d often felt invisible. Now, she wished being invisible really was her superpower.
When she inhaled the masculine scent of his spicy body wash, a steamy image of Danny standing naked beneath the pelting spray slid into her brain and hovered there. Mmm, soapy and slippery, muscles rippling while he turned his face up to the hot water. The fantasy caused a flush to warm her skin and she cursed her vivid imagination. But her imagination didn’t care and carried on with a vengeance.
“No … stop!” She backed away rapidly and then caught sight of herself in the big shiny mirror. Dear God, that surely couldn’t be accurate. Her hair was a tangled mess, curling wildly around her bare shoulders, and she looked … well, like she’d just made wild love and then slept with her legs entwined with Danny’s while her head rested on his warm, solid shoulder.
“Well …” Susan put trembling fingers to her lips. “Because I did.” She remembered the wanton way she’d behaved and cradled her cheeks in her palms. “And then I told him I loved him.” She groaned and then leaned against the cold edge of the tiled sink. “What was I thinking?” she whispered. “This whole empowerment thing Betsy and I concocted is way overrated. I need to go back to being a scaredy-cat.”
Inhaling a deep breath, Susan looked at the skimpy bra and panties dangling from her fingers and then gazed in the mirror again. She recalled how he’d said she took his breath away and that she was gorgeous. Did he really think so? Or was that one of those in-the-heat-of-the-moment things guys say? Having very little experience to draw upon, she really didn’t know the answer, except she really didn’t think that Danny was that way. No, he definitely wasn’t.
But then how could he laugh at her when she’d confessed her love, for pity’s sake? “Who does that?” she asked her reflection hotly, but it just stared back, unblinking. For a shy, stuttering girl who’d weathered her share of humiliation, this one sure did take the cake. Susan was actually floored that someone as nice as Danny could be so callous. His lame “I love you too” only made her even angrier.
But what if he meant it?
“No, don’t even go there,” she whispered, knowing full well that as soon as she got home she’d be reduced to a really messy, noisy crying jag, cradling a big wineglass while listening to sad Rascal Flatts songs. But for now, her anger was carrying her through her emotional crisis. She seriously wanted to throw something and watch it smash, something she’d never even considered doing before. Of course, smashing something would beget instant regret and she’d had enough of that particular emotion today to last a lifetime.
After using the really cool, high tank, chain pull toilet that she was rather fascinated by, she washed up and then slipped on her panties. Her trembling fingers made hooking her bra a bit more difficult but she finally managed. Now, all she had to do was sneak into the bedroom and put her clothes on. Surely Danny had the decency to give her some privacy, but eventually she was going to have to face the music. Oh, but maybe she could find a way to slip past him, dart out the door to her SUV, and peel out? She imagined fishtailing, spitting rocks as she made her mad escape, and nearly laughed.
“Oh God, I’m totally losing it,” she mumbled and then spotted Danny’s phone resting on the sink. When the cell phone pinged and vibrated she felt a hot flash of guilt but couldn’t resist looking down at the text message. The message was from Mason: Don’t even think of coming in tonight.
Susan’s eyes widened and she put the heel of her hand to her forehead. “Mason fired Danny?” she whispered, thinking it was all her fault for pretending to fall asleep and actually dozing off. She might be angry with him but she certainly didn’t want him to get fired. But would Mason really fire his own brother? Probably not, but she looked at the phone and frowned.
For a day that had started out so nicely, it was speeding south at whiplash speed.
After finger-combing her riot of curls, she shook her head at the very little progress she’d made at taming her wild hair and sucked in a deep breath. “Just do it.” After opening the door a mere crack, she put her ear there and listened for movement. “Okay,” she whispered, and then put one eye at the opening, trying to see. Feeling silly, she opened the door with a quiet whoosh and tiptoed over to where her jeans and sweater had landed in a heap at the side of the giant log bed. She felt the heat of a blush when she looked at the rumpled covers. A couple of fringed pillows had fallen to the floor and Susan had an odd urge to straighten the bed to cover up the evidence. But first and foremost, she needed to get dressed.
With an inward groan, she wished she’d worn one of her gaudy Christmas-themed sweaters instead of the snug V-neck style she’d opted for in an effort to be more alluring. “Guess it worked,” she said with a wry chuckle. She tugged on the skinny jeans and was contemplating whether to put on her boots when she heard footsteps heading her way.
Susan froze as still as one of those silver statue guys she’d seen on the streets in Nashville. Her heart hammered so hard that she felt lightheaded. God … passing out would be even worse than crying, but she suddenly felt like doing both. Oh, Scotty, beam me up.
Susan wasn’t remotely prepared for the sexy sight of Danny standing there shirtless with his jeans slung low on his hips. He gazed at her without speaking and then reached up and shoved his fingers through his hair. The movement caused a ripple of muscle that made her want to run over to him. Instead, she stayed rooted to the spot. She gave him a slight lift of her chin but her damned lips betrayed her by trembling. She gritted her teeth, willing her body not to crumple into a heap. She wanted to say something flippant but she didn’t trust her stutter and so she just stood there, with her jutting Jay Leno chin, feeling rather silly.
“Susan?” Danny asked in a deep voice filled with tenderness that felt like pity to her. Susan always hated when people looked at her with sympathy when she stuttered.
“Yes?” she responded crisply, glad he stayed out of reach, because if he came any closer she would fall right into his arms, in spite of everything.
No … no she would not. Stay strong vibrated through her head but her body reacted differently.
“We really need to talk.”
“No we don’t.” Right, she’d professed her love and he’d laughed it off with a polite thank-you. Talking was out of the question. Clearing her throat, Susan said, “Sorry, but I’m heading out. I’m not really in the mood for a chat.”
“Luckily for me it’s impossible for you to leave.”
“Watch me.” She lifted her chin even higher but her feet refused to move forward, which was a good thing because with her chin tilted that high she’d surely run into something. And seriously, why did he have to look so … scrumptious? Having him appear so composed when she was so rumpled made her want to march over there and mess up his hair. Oh, why hadn’t she shoved on her boots so she could stomp right past him and straight out the door? And just where were her socks?
“No, do me a favor and follow me,” he said. “I need to show you something th
at will change your mind about leaving.”
“Not likely,” she said, but a tiny bit of hope blossomed inside her heart. He seemed very sure of himself.
“Susan, I get why you’re upset but you’ve got this all wrong,” Danny began, but she stopped him with a deadpan stare. She wished she could add the arch of one eyebrow but her eyebrows didn’t arch. Since sticking out her tongue wasn’t an adult option, she just sighed. He appeared ready to say more, in spite of her obvious displeasure, and her heart hammered. “Follow me.”
Susan stood there for another agonizing moment, but she figured she couldn’t remain in the bedroom forever, and so with an added shrug she scooped up her socks and boots and slowly followed him, trying very hard not to admire his very nice, denim-clad butt. So what? So he’s got a nice butt. Shania Twain’s song, “That Don’t Impress Me Much,” started playing in her head. She knew she was trying to mask her humiliation with a display of anger but she could not stop her peevish behavior, even though it was making her feel worse.
How could it be that just a little while ago he’d carried her down this hallway and made wild love to her and now she wanted to scurry out the door in total humiliation? Still pondering her predicament, she reluctantly followed Danny over to the window. Rusty trotted over with them and sat on his haunches right beside her, seemingly oblivious to her inner turmoil. When she didn’t pet him he looked up at her with sad dog eyes and so she leaned over and scratched him behind his ears. Rusty made a doggie sound of approval and tapped his paw on the floor for more.
“Look.” Danny pointed outside.
“Oh my goodness.” Forgetting her anger for a second, Susan stared out at the frozen world of jagged ice and gasped. “It looks like someone took big buckets of water and tossed it everywhere and then it all froze. When did this even happen?”
“While we were sleeping.”
For a moment she admired the stark, glittering beauty and then it dawned on her that she was stuck here with Danny. “Is … is it supposed to melt anytime soon?”
“Nope, freezing rain changing over to snow overnight,” he said without an ounce of the wild panic that was welling up in her chest. In fact, he sounded cheerful.
“Snow?” Susan put a hand to her chest. “How much snow?” she asked with an edge of panic.
“Five to eight inches, which means they really have no idea. But one thing’s for sure: We aren’t going anywhere anytime soon,” he said, and seemed rather pleased at the current situation. “Don’t worry, I have plenty of bread and milk and some excellent craft beer.”
Susan swallowed hard, thinking this was an insult to injury kind of situation. She gave him a scowl that suggested that the weather was all his fault. “What am I going to do?”
“Hunker down.”
“I don’t want to hunker down. And I have the Christmas Walk tomorrow.”
“Susan, it will be cancelled. You know the drill. Ice and snow pretty much shuts Cricket Creek down. Just enjoy the unexpected break from all of the holiday madness.”
“I want to go home.”
“You can’t drive anywhere,” he said gently. “The roads are impassable.”
Susan nodded while thoughts started to explode like mini fireworks in her brain. “So now what?”
“Now do you believe me when I tell you that I love you?”
Susan looked at the floor and inhaled a deep breath. Finally, she swallowed and gazed up at him. “I want to believe you,” she said softly.
“Well, I have all weekend to convince you,” Danny said with a smile.
Susan’s emotions were bouncing around like a ball in a pinball machine and she didn’t know whether to laugh or cry. If she laughed she’d probably end up crying and he would think she’d lost her marbles and so she dug deep to gather her wits. Finally, she cleared her throat. “So what do we do now?”
“We could hike into the woods and chop down a tree if you like.”
“It’s dark.”
“I have a heavy-duty flashlight. The ice will be crunchy but we can walk through it before it starts to snow. Are you up for a little adventure?”
“No!” Susan shook her head, picturing herself slipping and sliding. She suddenly wanted to be in the safety of her loft, curling up in her bed reading a good book.
“Where’s all of this Christmas spirit you’ve been bragging about?”
“Um, it’s pretty much been busted. And that’s really difficult to do,” she added with an accusing little glare. “Congratulations.”
“We need to rescue your ornaments at the very least.”
“I think I’ll go with the hunkering down plan if it’s all the same to you.” Susan shook her head again, wondering if there was a spare bedroom and if he had any romance novels lying around. She gave him what she hoped was a nonchalant shrug. “I think the ornaments are probably toast.”
Danny sighed. “I wish you would drop the attitude and talk about this misunderstanding. You’ve got this all wrong, you know.”
“I don’t have an attitude!” she sputtered with a definite attitude and almost jutted her chin again but thankfully refrained. God, she sounded like she was ten.
It was his turn for a deadpan stare and it made her bristle.
“Okay, so I have a bit of an attitude going on. But I didn’t get your reaction wrong, Danny.” She considered telling him that she didn’t mean it when she’d said she loved him, that it had just popped out of her mouth in the heat of the moment. But honesty was important to her and so she refrained from saving her wounded pride with a great big lie. She loved him and him not loving her back didn’t change the fact. “An amused thank-you wasn’t the response I was going for.”
“You absolutely did get it wrong,” he said with just enough heat in his words to give her pause and capture her full attention. “My laughter was from relief, Susan. Look, you got all weird on me and I thought—” He paused to shove his fingers through his hair. After sucking in a breath, he said, “I thought you had regrets … you know, and honestly I worried that you were about to maybe break up with me.”
“What? Are you serious?” Her heart pounded while she tried to make sense of what he was telling her. “Break up with you after … after we just …” She shook her head in disbelief. “That would have been some seriously bad timing, to say the least.”
“I didn’t say what I was feeling made a lick of sense. Falling in love is really damned scary and is messing with my brain.”
“You’ve got that part right,” Susan admitted, with a slight return of her humor. Her own brain was still reeling from this sudden roller coaster ride of emotion. And she’d never been fond of roller coasters. She hated that stomach dropping feeling …
Wait, did he really love her?
Her legs started to tremble. God, she really needed to sit down, and so she sort of slithered to a sitting position right there on the floor in front of the window. Rusty flopped down and rested his head in her lap and she petted him absently. He gave her an it’s-about-time-you-paid-attention-to-me doggie look.
“Okay.” Danny sat down beside her with the graceful ease of an athlete, close enough that their shoulders touched. She wanted to scoot away … okay no, she didn’t. “Yeah, my stupid, ill-timed laughter was from relief that you weren’t dumping me.”
“The fact that you even thought that blows me away.” She shook her head and then looked at him.
“I really do love you, Susan. And the fact that you had the courage and honesty to say it to me … well it’s just a beautiful thing.”
Susan closed her eyes and swallowed. “It was like it just bubbled up inside me and I had to tell you or burst.”
“Well, I’m sure glad you didn’t burst.” Danny chuckled and then took her hand. “That would have been quite a mess.”
“Me too,” she said with a slight smile and a heart full of hope. “I’m sorry I flipped out on you, though. I’m not really like that, you know.”
“Oh, trust me, I realize that.
” Danny kissed her hand. “But I have to admit that I found it kind of sexy when you were storming all around in the bedroom.”
“You did?” Susan felt the heat of a blush in her cheeks. “Well, it did feel … I don’t know, like I guess, maybe an adrenaline rush to get that fired up. But Danny, surely you must understand how humiliated I felt.”
Danny nodded slowly. “I’m so sorry.”
“Help me understand what’s going on. I’m totally confused.”
“Ah … it’s just … I don’t have my life together. You know that. I was honest from the beginning about my struggles with finding direction. I thought that things would go slower with us so I would have the time to figure some things out.”
“You’re one of the most grounded people I know,” she said. “You’re much more together than you think.”
“Susan, you know I work three different jobs. Sometimes I feel pulled in too many directions.”
“There’s nothing wrong with that. You’re a hard worker and help so many people, Danny. I find what you do for people to be commendable, even though you know how I feel about you needing something of your own too.”
He smiled. “Thank you. But I feel like I’m juggling too many balls in the air and I’m afraid of dropping any of them.”
“Oh Danny,” she said. She finally had more of an understanding of what he must be going through. The unfairness of it all jabbed like tiny daggers at her heart, making her want to help him in the same way that he looked out for everyone else. But what could she possibly do?
“Hey, I love my siblings and I’m really proud of what Mason and Mattie have accomplished. Of course, I still enjoy working at the marina, but you’ve been right all along. I want something I can call my own.” He patted his bare chest. “And it might sound trite but it just feels like I’m trying to swim upstream, you know?” He shook his head and then looked up at the high-beamed ceiling. “You deserve someone who is invested in a solid career, not a jack-of-all-trades like …” He paused again to sigh. “Like me.”