by D T Dyllin
Chapter Twenty-One
~Alexa
What the hell just happened? One minute we were talking about my teenage self’s penchant for black, and the next David was kissing me. And let me tell you, I’d never been kissed like that before. It wasn’t that he’d finally taken the initiative and taken control, no. I’ve been dominated more times than I could count, and honestly, a lot better than what David had done. It was all about how his kiss had made me feel. I’d never experienced anything—ever—like that before. The second that our lips had met, my body exploded in sensations. Goose bumps had rushed across my flesh in quick succession, and without any conscious thought I had opened up to him, on more than one level. I hadn’t really had a choice. Colors had exploded behind my eyelids, and warmth had bloomed in my chest. Not to mention that I was more turned on than I had been in a long time. Probably longer than I’d like to admit. David’s kiss had me completely sprung. I guess I was no longer mad at him.
Aunt Suzy was waiting in the living room on the couch next to a very attractive older man. If I had to guess I’d say he was in his mid to late thirties, but in very good shape. His only aging factors were some lines around his eyes and a sprinkle of grey hair around his temples. Of course the lighter hair was more pronounced in his deep brown hair. He was rather handsome, even more so because of how he was smiling at Aunt Suzy before the two of them realized I was watching them. I cleared my throat demonstratively to get their attention. I felt almost like I was intruding on a private moment even though they weren’t touching.
Aunt Suzy and Eli both stood immediately and turned to face me, matching smiles on their faces. After a nod of encouragement, Eli strode towards me in what I thought was an offering to shake my hand, but instead he pulled me into a quick hug before releasing me.
“It’s great to finally meet you, Andy. Suzy has told me so much about you.”
“Oh, well, yes,” I said, a bit thrown. I hadn’t really been expecting a hug. I wasn’t much for people touching me unless it was for sexual reasons, my Aunt Suzy was the very big exception. “It’s great to meet you. Although I’ve heard absolutely nothing about you until about twenty minutes ago. It would have been—“ I swallowed the rest of my sentence. I really didn’t want to put Aunt Suzy in an awkward situation and I also didn’t want to come off as a complete bitch—even though I actually was one most of the time.
Aunt Suzy’s eyes were focused directly over my shoulder. “Oh, David, are you staying?”
“I was just going to say goo—“
I swiveled around and grabbed David’s hand, imploring him with my eyes. “You were going to stay, right?”
Confusion played across his expression before his features settled into a polite smile, which he directed at Aunt Suzy. “Yes, Alexa invited me to stay if that’s all right with you?”
Aunt Suzy’s smile went up a few watts. “Of course. We can all have something to eat and talk. It’ll be fun.”
“MmmmHmmm… David this is Eli,” I added. I was still trying to figure out why I’d just invited David to stay, and why I was holding onto his hand like it was some kind of lifeline.
David squeezed my hand and let go, offering it to Eli in greeting. I had to fight the urge to grasp at it. “Nice to meet you.” As soon as he was done shaking Eli’s hand, David intertwined his fingers with mine again. I heaved a sigh of relief. My relief was short lived though, because my reaction to David was unsettling. What was going on with me? And with me and him? And with him?
Before I had a chance to sift through my thoughts, Aunt Suzy had herded all of us into her brightly decorated kitchen. She favored the color yellow when it came to kitchen related items. It reflected her optimistic personality perfectly, even if it did hurt my eyes a bit. When I’d been living with her, maybe my love of black had not only been stupid teenage rebellion but a self defense mechanism. Maybe I preferred the color to simply give my retinas some down time.
Eli, David and I all sat at table covered with yellow checkers and began the painful process of small talk. “So, Eli, Aunt Suzy tells me that you’re an artist? What kind of art?”
Eli immediately seemed to relax with the topic. “I paint and sculpt, but as—“
“Oh, he’s absolutely brilliant!” Aunt Suzy exclaimed. “You should see some of his work if you have the time before you leave, Andy.” She turned to Eli. “Andy used to paint. I don’t know why she gave it up, she was so talented.” I could feel David’s curious gaze on me. Not many people were privy to my artistic endeavors in my past. “I think I have some pasta salad if anyone’s hungry. I know I am.” Aunt Suzy stated brightly as she popped up from her chair. She always got like that when she was entertaining. I affectionately referred to it as her ‘hostess ADD’.
David jumped in, eager to help. “We can make time for Alexa to see some of Eli’s work. We could probably fit it into the documentary which, I don’t know, may give you some exposure, if you want it.” The problem was, I forgot to tell David one very important thing. It was the real reason why I hadn’t wanted him to come with me to my Aunt Suzy’s house to film. She had absolutely no idea what I really did for a living. I hoped I already hadn’t said too much before when I was angry at David. I hadn’t exactly been thinking clearly.
“What documentary?” Aunt Suzy asked with her face in the refrigerator.
Eli merely lifted an eyebrow and studied me with new interest. I started to sweat because I knew what was happening. He was trying to place me. As ludicrous as it seems, hiding my porn star status from my Aunt Suzy hadn’t been that difficult over the years. She thought I was a personal assistant for a porn director. I’d told her it was good money and that it was my stepping-stone into the general film industry. She’d easily accepted that, especially because she was one of those rare people who are trusting and genuine. But the chances of a guy, especially Eli’s age, not at least seeing my picture somewhere, those percentages were pretty slim.
I kicked David under the table to get his attention. His confused cerulean eyes snapped to meet my mine. “Can I talk to you…in private for a minute?”
“Ummm…yeah?”
I grabbed him by the arm and tugged him roughly out of his seat. “We’ll be right back.” When I had David safely out of ear shot I started to freak out. “David, you can’t say anything to Aunt Suzy or Eli about the documentary! They can’t know anything! You have to promise me! And you need to come up with some lie about what you just said! Or you should probably just leave.” I went behind him and started pushing him towards the front door.
“Hey, hey, hey! Wait, what are you talking about?” David dug his heels in and he stopped right were he was.
Still in freak out mode I flew around to stand in front of him. “You don’t understand! She can’t know!” I hissed. “She just can’t know! Please, David! I’m begging you! I’ll do whatever you want!”
David took me by my shoulders and shook me slightly. “You need to calm down so you can explain what the hell you’re talking about.”
“I’m talking about the fact that my Aunt Suzy doesn’t really know what I do for a living.”
I watched as David’s jaw went completely slack and his mouth quite literally fell open. “What?” He blinked rapidly at me. “You need to explain. Now.”
Chapter Twenty-Two
~David
Alexa stared up at me with desperation in her eyes. “It’s just like it sounds. My Aunt Suzy doesn’t know what I do for a living.”
I was having trouble wrapping my mind around what she was saying. “How is that possible? You’re famous.”
“I’m a famous—“ Alexa glanced around as if someone had snuck up on us. “—porn star,” she hissed. “Aunt Suzy doesn’t exactly partake in that kind of entertainment. She thinks I’m a personal assistant for a porno director at the studio I work for.”
I was still finding it hard to believe, especially since her Aunt was still living in Alexa’s hometown, that someone hadn’t told her. It seem
ed so outlandish that she didn’t know. Impossible even, except for that fact that it clearly wasn’t. “Are you sure she’s just not patronizing you? Letting you think she doesn’t know because it’s obvious you don’t want her to…” I let my voice trail off as I watched Alexa’s nostrils flare with annoyance.
“She doesn’t know. So you need to keep your big mouth shut. I could tell by the way Eli was eyeing me though that he’s one step away from figuring it out. Plus you called me Alexa, which isn’t helping the situation. Only call me Andy in front of them.” She scrunched up her face in consideration. “Although now I’m wondering if I should tell Aunt Suzy about her new man’s porn addiction. But how would I tell her about him without giving myself away?” she mused.
I snorted. “Listen to yourself. You do porn for a living. You keep telling me that you love what you do, are even proud, and yet you’re embarrassed to let the only family you have know about it. Not to mention that suddenly it’s bad if Eli watches porn. I thought you said all men watch porn.”
Alexa finally pulled away from me, leaving my hands feeling bereft without her silky skin under them. “Not the man who’s with Aunt Suzy. She deserves a special kind of man. A man better than all the rest.”
“Oh I see.” And I did. Alexa was being a hypocrite. But she was being one out of love for her Aunt. At the same time I wasn’t going to aid and abed her with outing Eli when it came to something as natural as watching porn. That would make me a hypocrite as well. I would help Alexa keep her secret though. It was her choice to lie about her career. “I’ll say that I’m filming a documentary about porn, because I am, but you’re helping me out in the personal assistant capacity.” I shrugged. “I don’t know, since you said you work for the porn studio then it sounds somewhat believable. You would know the industry a bit. Also I could say you’re helping me on your time off. But you may have to do one thing that I know you’re not going to like.”
“What?” Alexa snapped.
“You’re helping me because we’re dating.”
“Fine.” She agreed faster than expected. She grabbed my hand and led me back into the kitchen.
She pasted a fake smile on her face. How did no one else ever seem to notice when Alexa wasn’t being honest? To me it was as obvious as the nose on her face. “Sorry about that. I just wanted to talk to David about something in private. “
Her Aunt Suzy narrowed her eyes at Alexa as she pushed her blonde curls behind her ears. “Andy. You’re not still giving poor David a hard time, are you?”
“No!” Alexa exclaimed. “It was about something totally different, I swear.”
“Don’t worry.” I smiled. “I’m used to Al—Andy always giving me a hard time.”
Both Eli and Suzy’s attention shifted to me. “I hope I don’t cause any trouble, but this is the first I’ve heard about you, David. How long have the two of you…been dating? If in fact… Are you dating?” Suzy asked hesitantly, but with obvious curiosity.
“Yes, we’re dating. I didn’t want to jinx it by telling you too early and then we kind of had a little bit of a tiff earlier today. I was too mad to bring him here but he followed me anyways,” Alexa responded smoothly. “It looks like we both kind of left out some pertinent information about our current love lives,” Alexa added. She glanced at Eli and then back to Suzy.
“Well yes.” Suzy blushed. “I can understand where you’re coming from. I guess we both have a lot to catch each other up on.”
I was completely surprised how easily Suzy bought what Alexa was selling. I’d meant to tell them that we’d just started dating. If Suzy had really been paying attention to what was said when I’d first come to her house, she’d have noticed the gaping holes in congruency with everything Alexa was telling her. The fact that she didn’t…well…now her not knowing what Alexa did for a living seemed a lot more believable.
“Well that wasn’t so bad.” I reached over and tried to take Alexa’s hand, but she shirked away from me.
“We’re not pretending to be a couple anymore. You don’t have to hold my hand,” she muttered while staring out the window as the scenery flew by.
I nodded and kept my mouth shut. I wasn’t about to tell her that I’d enjoyed pretending to be her man, and that I wanted to hold her hand. Instead I asked her an inane question. “Your aunt didn’t seem to think it was odd that I called you Alexa even though you told her I went to school with you… why?”
“I told her that I started going by Alexa in L.A. because I wanted to start over fresh. She can’t break herself of calling me Andy though. And I wouldn’t want her to, she’s always called me Andy. Plus you only called me Alexa when you first got there, then you switched to Andy. She was so focused on Eli that it worked well with that distraction. Normally she’s much more observant.”
I nodded again but didn’t know what else to say. Alexa seemed to have fallen into a kind of morose mood. What I actually wanted to do was to talk about our kiss and what it meant…if anything. Things were very odd between us at the moment.
“Are you happy, David?” Alexa’s voice cut through the silence sharply, before she turned her watery blue gaze on me.
“Yeah, sure I’m happy.” Where was she going with this?
“No, I mean are you really and truly happy? Aren’t there still things in life that you want?”
I was looking at one. I wanted her. “Ummm…sure. There are still things I aspire to do and things I want to acquire. I want to get married one day and have kids. And there’s still a lot I want to accomplish with my career.”
Alexa’s lower lip trembled. I fought the urge to take her in my arms. “Kids. And a husband. I used to want those things.” She turned her face back towards the window.
“And you don’t want them anymore?”
“It’s just—“ Her voice cracked. “That kind of life isn’t in the cards for me.”
“Says who?” She lifted her hand and let it fall loudly onto the leather seat. “Everyone.”
I was suddenly angry. Without thinking I grabbed her by the shoulder and swiveled her around so I could look into her eyes. “I’m someone, and I say you can have those things. You just have to want them enough to go after them.”
A single tear escaped the confines of her left eye and trickled down her cheek. I wiped it away with my index finger and Alexa sighed softly. “If only that were true.”
I’ll give you those things! I screamed in my mind. I’ll love you, take care of you…give you anything you want! Holy fuck…do I love her? “It is true,” was the only thing I said out loud. My heart was about to beat out of my chest. Was it actually possible that I was in love with Alexa? When did that happen? I knew I was developing deeper feelings for her…but love? How could I have let myself fall so fast? If I was in fact…fuck...no…I couldn’t be.
“I’m a porn star, David.”
“So give it up. Do something else. You’re making it way more complicated than it needs to be.”
Alexa’s eyes narrowed and more liquid spilled from them. “I need that as part of my life too. I mean, I love it. I love being a porn star, but I can’t be one and have the rest. I made my choice years ago.”
“You can’t be a porn star forever. You—“
“I know that!” Alexa yelled, ire replacing her sadness. “Do you think I don’t know that? But right now I need it. I need it.” She dropped her face into her hands.
I leaned forward and pried them away, tipping her chin up so I could meet her gaze once again. Her eyes were tumultuous, swirling with dark emotions. All I could think was that I wanted nothing more than to make her happy. She deserved to be happy, to have everything she’d been denying herself simply because she thought she wasn’t good enough on some level. “You’re worthy of love, Alexa, or Andy. Whatever name you want to go by…you’re still you… And I happen to think you’re pretty amazing.”
“You don’t even know me, not really.”
“I know enough.” The words were barely out of my
mouth when Alexa launched herself at me, tackling me. My head bounced off the cool leather seat as she pressed her lips hungrily to mine.
Chapter Twenty-Three
~Alexa
Since the moment he’d stepped into my life, David Jonez had been making me question everything. I no longer knew which way was up, and which way was down. It was amazing how quickly I’d formed an attachment to him. Or maybe it wasn’t. My life, besides my career, was empty. Sure, I had my Aunt Suzy, and my friends, but it’d been so long since I had even the beginning of a real connection with anyone. Maybe I shouldn’t fuck David to try and get him out of my system… Maybe I should fuck him to try and keep him. What if I kept him? Could I? Was it really possible?
When he’d said exactly what I’d wanted to hear, that I was worthy of love, and that I was amazing… I wondered if he would feel that way if he knew all of me, all of my dirty little secrets? Maybe I shouldn’t bother with trying to keep him after all. But he made my decision when he’d muttered the three little words: I know enough. Something clicked and I knew one hundred percent I had to try and keep him. Maybe he’d shown up in my life for a reason. I wasn’t going to wait to find out. I was done questioning it. David may not be the type of guy I normally went for, but fuck it, I wanted him, and I was going to get him.
I threw myself at him, knocking him down onto the back seat of the Lincoln, and quickly slanted my lips over his. I sucked on his tongue and he bit my lower lip. His hands slid down to cup my ass and his strong fingers dug into the giving flesh there. I felt crazed, desperate, and I needed to have him inside me more than I needed air to breathe. I attempted to undo his pants without breaking our kiss but it proved more difficult than I would have thought.
“These need to come off. Now.” I grunted in frustration against David’s lips.
My lust filled comment seemed to bring him back to himself, at least partially. His hands were still roaming my body freely, kneading and fondling. “We can’t have sex here.”